“Paige?” Bianca waved a hand in front of her face.
“What?” She didn’t mean to snap, but the longer she thought about Ben coming home and saying nothing to her, the more irritated she became.
“Will you help me fix my hair please?” Bianca’s voice was small.
“Yes, I’ll help you.” Paige took a deep breath and held it.
“Okay, I’ll just go change.” Bianca turned and ran up the stairs to her bedroom, two at a time.
Paige folded her arms and glowered at Ben.
“Oh, come on. Don’t be that way. Let me make it up to you this weekend when the girls are gone. We could go do a bunch of fun stuff.” Ben smiled and tried to hug her, but Paige pushed him away.
“I’m your wife, not your roommate. I should know when you’re going to be home, and you should want to tell me.” She paced the kitchen, staring at the floor.
If I had married Kade, things would not be like this. He’d actually want to spend time together.
“Why do you have to make everything so hard, Ben?”
“I don’t know.” He rubbed his head and looked at his cell phone.
Paige sighed. “You and that stupid phone.”
“Look, I want to be a better guy, a better father and even a better husband. Believe it or not, I actually love you. From the moment I saw you in that bar—”
“Don’t bring up the bar, please.”
“Why not?”
“Because,” she avoided his eyes. She walked over to the kitchen table; her hands went protectively to her computer. She picked it up and held it.
“You were supposed to meet someone that night.” A light bulb practically went off above Ben’s head.
Paige nodded. “Yes, I was.”
“So, I won by default, huh?” He shoved his hands into his pockets.
She noted the dark circles under his eyes and the stubble on his cheeks. “It doesn’t matter. We’re married. What’s going on with you?”
And Kade doesn’t really love me or he would have showed up that night.
“Nothing,” Ben shrugged.
“Really? Because you look like you haven’t slept in a while and you always shave.”
“I’m fine. I…uh…I just want you to know that I love you, and I want to be a better husband. I want to be the kind of guy that shows up on time for dinner and takes the kids to school without being asked.” He walked over to Paige and cupped her chin in his hand.
“What’s come over you?” she asked. “You almost never say that you love me and when you do, it’s usually following a good meal and you’re really just saying you love the food.”
Ben rubbed her arm. “Let’s just say I’ve seen the light and I know it’s time to change. And I will. I’m going to be better. Come with me to the dance and we’ll do a little dancing.”
“I don’t know. I was looking forward to some alone time in a quiet house.”
“I’ll take you out for dessert afterwards. It’ll be fun.” Ben smiled warmly at her.
Paige looked down at the computer in her arms.
Ben gets one more chance to turn this around because I really do deserve to be happy. I see that now.
“Okay, I’ll go with you, but you had better not ditch me or even glance at your phone, got it?”
Ben nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll go get ready while you help Bianca.”
Paige watched Ben walk up to the stairs. Still dressed in her work clothes, she figured a skirt and blouse would be fine for a high school dance. She drummed her fingers on her laptop; they itched to open up her laptop, see Kade’s number, and call him. Her heart ached to hear his voice.
“Paige!” Bianca called.
“Coming!” She set the computer down on the table and hurried up the stairs.
***
Bianca studied herself in the bathroom mirror. Paige stood in the doorway and watched as her stepdaughter admired her dress.
“You did good, kid. The dress looks great.”
“I know it was pricey,” Bianca said.
“Nothing is too good for my girl,” Paige replied.
Bianca gave her a tight hug. “You’ve done more for me than anyone could have expected, so thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Paige pushed Bianca’s hair back behind her shoulders. “What brought this on?”
“Well, I was talking to my mom and she pointed out how much you’ve done for us. She was able to get better because there was a good person taking care of us for the last year.”
Paige smiled; tears came to her eyes. “You want to go back to your mom, don’t you?”
Bianca nodded. “If we can. We love you, Paige. Even Billie loves you, but Mom needs us and we need her.”
Don’t think about how much that will hurt. Just focus on the time you have now.
“Okay,” Paige said. She picked up the curling iron. “Curls?”
“Yeah.” Bianca stood still as Paige took a section of her hair and ran it through her fingers. She carefully wound the hair around the hot iron.
“I was a little older than you when I got pregnant,” Paige said. Her voice was quiet. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt pressed to tell Bianca her story, but it seemed like a now-or-never moment.
“What?” Bianca tried to turn her head, but Paige held it straight. “You have a kid? Why am I always the last to know everything?”
“Billie is the last to know everything. The youngest is always the least informed. It’s like information trickles down or something.” Paige pulled the curling iron out of Bianca’s hair. Her stepdaughter’s mouth hung open in shock. “It was an ectopic pregnancy and I miscarried.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. I miss that baby, but having you girls in my life helped me miss that baby a little less, especially since that child would have been about your age,” Paige said. She looked into the mirror and made eye contact with Bianca. She picked up another section of hair and wrapped it around the curling iron.
“That’s really sad.”
“My point in telling you this story is that you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, Bianca. Don’t repeat my mistake and go down a path that you aren’t ready for, okay?”
Bianca looked down and bit her lip. “I was late because Madison had some news.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, she’s pregnant and too sick to go to the dance.”
Paige nearly dropped the curling iron. “Your best friend is pregnant?”
“Yep, and her life is over for sure. Plus, her parents are really pissed and blaming each other. I’m really glad I didn’t…” Bianca stared down at her feet. Paige took a step back, lowered the curling iron, and lifted Bianca’s chin.
“You are a smart, beautiful girl with all the potential in the world, you know that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well I do, and I’m going to tell you what my mother told me on the first day of kindergarten.” Paige cleared her throat and wiped her eyes.
“What’s that?”
“Little girl, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t screw it up.”
Bianca laughed. “Your mom was tough!”
“Yes, she was.” Paige laughed and hugged her stepdaughter. As she squeezed Bianca, she felt a twinge of anxiety.
Why in this happy moment does it feel like I’m about to lose everything?
***
“You know you can’t walk in with me, right?” Bianca asked.
Paige watched as her stepdaughter teetered a little in her heels. They were standing on the street outside of Bianca’s high school. Kids piled out of cars and made their way towards the gym; music throbbed from the building.
“I’m a chaperone, Bianca,” Ben said.
“So?” Bianca replied. She stood several feet away from them, acting like they were strangers.
“What your dad means is that eventually we are going to have to go inside,” Paige said.
“I know,
but don’t act like you know me or speak to me at all.” Bianca chewed her lip. “Okay?”
Ben grunted and shook his head.
“Why don’t you head inside and we’ll wait out here for a few minutes so no one knows we’re together?”
“Sounds good!” Bianca let out a sigh of relief.
“You look very pretty. Doesn’t she, Ben?”
“Why couldn’t you have found a dress that was longer and had sleeves?” he asked.
“My dress is fine!” Bianca grumbled. “Can you wait at least three minutes before you come inside? That way I can mingle a little.”
“Bianca, it’s cold outside,” Ben protested.
Paige put her hand on her husband’s arm. “Go ahead.”
“Thanks.” Bianca smiled and walked away.
“You were a kid once, right?” Paige said to Ben.
“Briefly.”
“Don’t you remember how much you hated to be seen with your parents?”
“Well, my dad ran off his secretary when I was five and I never really saw him again, so that wasn’t an issue. My mom had to work two jobs to support us so she wasn’t around either.” Ben kicked a small rock with his shoe; he shoved his hands into his pocket.
“Well, let’s allow Bianca to have her moment even if you can’t relate,” Paige said.
Ben nodded. “You’re a great mom.”
“Don’t you mean stepmom?”
“No, I mean mom. You have been amazing with the girls, and I appreciate it.” Ben took her hand and squeezed it.
“Wow. Thank you for that.” Paige was so surprised at the appreciation that she didn’t know what to say.
“I’m going to be a better husband. You’ll see.”
He wants to be a better husband and I just want Kade. I’m not such a great wife, am I?
“Thanks, Ben.”
He pulled her in for a kiss. Just as their lips were about to meet, Paige heard fast footsteps behind them. The footsteps abruptly came to halt. Ben pulled away from her and took a step back. The confusion on his face prompted her to look over her shoulder. A young woman with dirty hair stood behind them.
“Beth? What are you doing here?” Ben asked.
“Beth? As in your ex-girlfriend?” Paige said.
Paige stared at the frazzled woman; her eyes were red, her large coat was stained and she chewed on her lip.
Ben nodded. “Well?”
“I heard you talking to Bianca about the dance. It wasn’t hard to figure out which high school it was at,” Beth replied.
Ben tugged on Paige’s hand; he pulled her to his side. The color drained from his face. His hand felt clammy against hers.
“I don’t understand.” Paige looked from Beth to her husband and back again. “What’s going on here?”
A couple of teenage girls that were walking towards the gym stopped and stared. Paige gave them a look and motioned for them to keep moving.
“You need to leave, Beth,” Ben said. “If you’re going to hurt yourself—”
“I was going to. That was the plan, but then I realized that I had other options.” Beth looked at Paige.
“Could someone please tell me what’s going on?” Paige demanded. She took her hand out of Ben’s and folded her arms across her chest.
“I’ve been sleeping with your husband,” Beth said. She tucked a few strands of her short hair behind her ear and sniffled.
“Ben?” Paige’s heart sank. She stepped away from him.
I knew it. Deep down I just knew it.
“Paige, it’s not like—” Ben reached out for her.
“You’ve been cheating on me this whole time.” Paige’s voice was soft. “You lied to me over and over again. How could you do that to me?”
“Paige, I love you. Don’t you see that?” Ben’s eyes plead his case.
Paige shook her head and looked away. I’m so humiliated.
“I didn’t come here to watch you two work things out,” Beth said. She reached into the pocket of her coat and pulled out something dark.
Ben stared at her hand; Paige’s followed his eyes. She didn’t see what the woman was holding until Beth stepped out of the shadows and into the light of a lamp post. Paige gasped and recoiled.
“She’s got a gun, Ben.”
“Yeah, I know.” Ben cleared his throat. “Beth, no one needs to get hurt. You can just walk away now and this will all be over.”
Beth laughed—a shrill, ear-piercing cackle that made Paige’s skin crawl. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach.
Beth serves in the military like Ben, which means she spent weeks in basic training learning how to shoot a gun. When she points that thing, she’s not going to miss.
“I’ve invested five years in you. Do you really expect me to just up and walk away from that kind of an investment when I can simply take out the competition?” Beth’s voice was steady.
“What do you mean?” Ben asked.
I know exactly what she means.
Paige glanced over her shoulder at the security guards that were standing near the entrance to the gym. One of them nodded in their direction.
“I think it’s time I took out little Ms. Whiny Homemaker over there so I’m finally number one,” Beth replied. She grinned.
Paige cringed. “Beth, there’s no need to shoot me. You can have him. In fact, take my ring.” She yanked off her wedding ring and tossed it on the ground in front of Beth. “I’m done with him.”
“Paige, you don’t mean that,” Ben muttered.
Paige gave him a look that meant she clearly did.
“No thanks. No more leftovers for me.” Beth’s cheery voice rang out in the night.
“Beth, you need to leave now.” Ben’s voice was calm, but forceful.
Paige wanted to scream; she looked back at the security guards and gestured to them behind her back, but they didn’t move.
“You and I are going to be leaving together, sweetie. Paige is going to find her own way home.” Beth raised the gun and pointed the gun at Paige.
“Please don’t.” Paige held her hands up high, hoping the security guards would see them.
“Beth, don’t! I’ll go with you! Just don’t shoot my wife!” Ben yelled.
Paige knew the security guards could hear Ben, but it would be too late for them to save her. Time slowed as Beth aimed the gun at her chest. She closed her eyes. Running would be pointless. At this distance, Beth wouldn’t miss. There was a cracking sound as Beth pulled the trigger, then came a boom as the bullet left the chamber and surged through the barrel. Paige waited for the bullet to hit her; she braced herself for the pain.
So this is how my story ends. I’m going to be one of those bodies in a black and white photo on someone’s desk.
Ben yelled something she couldn’t understand. From the corner of her eye, Paige saw him dive in her direction. He hit her with the full weight of his body. They tumbled to the ground; she landed on her back, striking her head on the rough cement. She closed her eyes and moaned. Her skull felt as if it had been split in two. When Paige opened her eyes, Ben was lying on top of her. Blood trickled out of his mouth.
“Ben? Ben?” Paige shifted her body so that he fell into her arms. She cradled his head.
The security guards ran past them. Beth screamed as they tackled her to the ground.
“I’m really screwed up,” Ben gasped and clutched at his chest. There was blood on his fingers and his entire body was draining of color.
“I need to call 9-1-1.” Paige reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.
“Tell the girls I love them.” Ben’s eyes filled with tears that spilled onto his cheeks.
“No! No! Don’t talk to me like you’re dying!” Paige sobbed.
This can’t be happening, not now.
“I’m sorry. I’m so so…” His eyes rolled back in his head and his body went limp in her arms. Paige looked at his chest; he wasn’t breathing.
“No! No! Please, Ben! No!” Paige
cried out into the night. The sirens of police cars and an ambulance drowned her sobs out. She screamed until she had no voice left.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Paige stood in front of Ben’s grave, cradling yellow roses in one arm. The first snow of the season had fallen; a layer of it covered his tombstone. She bent down and ran a gloved hand along the letters of his name, clearing away the snow and leaves. Drew stood several feet away, shivering.
“You could have borrowed one of Ben’s coats,” she said.
“I’m okay. This sports jacket is plenty warm,” he replied.
Paige shook her head. “You are so stubborn.”
Her brother shrugged. “I think I’ll take a walk for a minute. Try to get the blood flowing.”
Paige nodded; her brother walked carefully through the snow toward the other end of the cemetery. She set the roses on Ben’s grave. The cold wind tangled her hair and nipped at her cheeks. Her eyes watered; she tried to clear the lump in her throat.
“I don’t think you had a favorite flower, so I thought I’d bring you my mom’s favorite. She always said they were symbolic of joy and hope.” Paige sniffed and took a deep breath. “The girls are okay. They miss you. I miss you, Ben. More than I thought I would.”
She removed her glove and touched Ben’s marble tombstone. The stone was ice on her fingertips. “Thank you for saving me. I hope wherever you are, you’ve found peace.”
Paige bowed her head, closed her eyes, and made the sign of the cross.
Please God, give me the strength to keep going. Please watch over the girls. Please help them to heal.
She’d been praying ever since Ben’s death, which proved to be the lowest and most difficult point in her life. Bianca had been one of the first people to reach her and Ben. She saw her father’s dead body and Paige covered in his blood. The young girl, who had seemed so tough, crumbled into a hysterical mess. Paige couldn’t comfort her; she tried to calm her down, but couldn’t. The paramedics had to sedate Bianca. She was admitted to the psychiatric wing of a nearby hospital for three days where a psychiatrist put her on a course of anti-depressants and talk therapy. Paige had met Evelyn, the girls’ mother, and together they decided it would be best for the girls if she moved in. While it had been awkward at first, having their mom around proved to be the best thing for everyone. It took both of them to watch over Bianca and her sisters.
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