Rattling the Heat in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 8)

by Ann Charles

  “What’s that?”

  “If you use the clocks to control your enemies, you may find out time is no longer on your side.”

  Chapter Twenty

  I was still scratching my head about timekeepers and clocks later that evening in Aunt Zoe’s warm and cozy kitchen. Outside, the weatherman’s predicted snowstorm blew in and blanketed the world in white, cold fluff.

  All afternoon at work, while dark clouds had piled up on the western horizon, I’d struggled to stay focused on real estate crap. But Dominick’s words had replayed over and over in my brain.

  Snow was already starting to fly when I’d parked in Aunt Zoe’s drive next to Harvey’s pickup. Inside, the warm house had smelled like a carnivore’s fantasyland. The old buzzard had thrown together a beef stew that knocked my socks off. For a side, he’d whipped up and baked some homemade cornbread. It was a shame Harvey kept turning down my marriage proposals. If I hadn’t had the foresight to change into some lounge pants and a pink fleece shirt before supper had been served, my seams would’ve burst by the time I’d licked my bowl clean.

  “Dang, that was so good,” I said after cramming the last buttered cornbread crumb in my mouth. I leaned back in my chair, holding my stomach. “I don’t think I can move for the next hour.”

  “You want a beer?” Doc asked, rising from the chair next to me.

  “I’m still nursing my lemonade, thanks.”

  “I do,” Natalie said and downed the last drops from her current bottle. “Will you grab me another, Doc?”

  Cooper looked over from where he stood at the sink washing supper dishes. “That’ll be your third, Beals.”

  “What’s your point, policeman?” she asked. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not behind the wheel.”

  “Drink that third and you won’t be getting behind the wheel later either, especially in this weather. I’ll have to take you home.”

  I smirked. As if getting Natalie alone in his Durango would be a hardship.

  “I’m not going home tonight,” she told him. “Didn’t you hear? We’re having a snowbound slumber party. I hope you brought your flannel pajama pants with the little handcuffs on them.” She grinned. “Your butt looks so darn cute in those.”

  Cooper returned his focus to the sink full of suds. I could swear his cheeks were pinker as he scrubbed the stew pot, but maybe it was my imagination.

  “We’re having a slumber party?” Reid asked. He was sitting next to me instead of where he would’ve probably preferred—next to Aunt Zoe. She’d made a point of keeping two chairs’ worth of space between them when we were all settling in to eat, using Harvey and Cooper as a buffer.

  “We are, but you’re not,” Aunt Zoe said, setting a plate of still-warm lemon squares in the center of the table. “You’re going home.”

  “I need to see a man about a mule,” Harvey said, standing. He squeezed my shoulder as he passed on his way to the dining room. “Save me a couple of yer aunt’s lemon bars, Sparky.”

  “I’ll try, but you’d better not stop to smell the roses while you’re looking for your mule-man.” After Harvey left, I asked Aunt Zoe, “Why can’t Reid stay? It’s dangerous to drive in the snow, especially on these hills.”

  I had no doubt Reid would be able to make his way through the snow without a problem, but after Dominick’s flirting game this afternoon, I wanted Reid to have a chance to earn some bonus points with her.

  “His truck has four-wheel drive and snow tires.” She gave me a warning glare. “Besides, there’s nowhere to sleep.” Before I could mention the available space in her queen-sized bed, she added, “Unless you have room in your bed, because mine is full.”

  “Who’s sleeping with you, Zo?” Reid asked.

  “Not Dominick,” I joked, earning a zip-it scowl from her.

  “Natalie is,” she said, carrying a stack of dessert plates.

  Reid turned to me. “You mean Dominick Masterson?”

  I nodded, earning an even deeper scowl from my aunt for tattling.

  “I thought Natalie was going to sleep on the couch,” Doc said. He opened the fridge door and grabbed two beers. With a raised brow, he held out a third toward Reid, who gave him a thumbs-up.

  “Cooper is on the couch tonight,” I told Doc. “Addy and Kelly are going to bunk in Addy’s room.”

  Jeff had called this afternoon and asked if Kelly could spend the whole weekend with Addy. He had a romantic trip planned. I agreed to Kelly staying over, cutting him off before he could fill me in on any details on this romantic romp, including who or where and especially what. I didn’t have the brain space for nipple rings and locker room talk after my morning lesson on timekeepers. I thought about asking if he’d decided to leave me for Tiffany, but then opted to wait for him to bring it up so I didn’t sound desperate.

  “Actually, Layne offered his bed to Cooper,” Aunt Zoe told me, doling out plates and forks.

  “Where’s Layne going to sleep?” Doc asked.

  “On the floor in a sleeping bag,” she said. “He wants to have a boys’ slumber party,”

  Cooper glanced my way, drying his hands. “The kid insisted, but if you’d rather he be in his bed …”

  “It’s fine,” I said. It was kind of Cooper to appease Layne’s male bonding need, because I didn’t want to share the male I planned to bond with later in the dark.

  Natalie grinned at Cooper. “Would you look at that? The wild, rough-n-tough cop is finally getting domesticated. I like it.”

  “Pipe down, Beals,” he shot back.

  “Seriously, I think it’s really sweet, Coop.” The look in her eyes as she stared at him bordered on smoldering. I could practically see her sabbatical notion curling at the edges from the heat.

  If she was going to keep bumping along on this no-sex wagon, she needed to tug on the reins a few times before her horses broke free and ran over someone—namely Cooper. While I was game for poking at Cooper now and then after months of his being a pain in my ass, our late-night western marathons had softened me up toward him some. The guy had enough problems with unsolved murders, ghosts, and now a barking partner. She didn’t need to add acute sexual frustration to his teetering plate.

  I cleared my throat, gaining her attention, and mouthed the word sabbatical.

  A shadow passed over her features, and then she nodded. “I’m gonna take some of these to the kids.” She grabbed a few lemon squares and plates, escaping to the living room where all three kids and Elvis the chicken were watching an animated film about a troop of Santa’s elves.

  “I’m feeling a little left out,” Doc said, returning to the chair next to me. He draped his arm over the back of my chair, smiling broadly at Cooper. “You never come to my slumber parties anymore.”

  Cooper scoffed. “That’s because you just want me to come over and lose at poker so you can take all my money.”

  “That’s not true,” Doc said, sipping his beer. “The last time you were at my place, we switched to blackjack and Martin took your money, not me.”

  Reid snickered. “Who’d have figured we’d find a game you suck at even more than poker?”

  Cooper wadded up the dishtowel and threw it at Reid, who laughed even harder. “We should do that again some night, Coop. I made enough off of you to take Zo out to a nice restaurant for dinner and drinks.” He pointed at Aunt Zoe. “Which you still owe me after that last knock-out blow, darling.”

  Reid had a glass jaw that Aunt Zoe knew well. Last month, she’d clocked him a good one to keep him out of harm’s way when we were hunting the lidérc up in Lead. In exchange for his forgiveness, she owed him a dinner date, which she kept finding ways to dodge.

  “You haven’t forgotten about that yet?” she replied.

  “Oh, no. One of these days you’re going to run out of excuses.”

  Doc’s fingers slipped under my hair, caressing the back of my neck. A tingling zing rippled down my back, leaving goosebumps in its wake. I ran my hand along his thigh under
the table, shooting him a flirting glance. He strummed my neck again, his gaze lowering to my lips.

  Unbeknownst to the kids, Doc was spending the night in my room tonight. If it weren’t for a houseful of people, I’d suggest he and I sneak off to my boudoir now. I had a few bedtime stories I wanted to act out for him while wearing a flimsy lacy number I hadn’t shown him yet. But there was a houseful of people, so I had to play it cool for a while longer and settle for a few bites of sugar instead of sex.

  I lifted a lemon bar, mock-toasting Aunt Zoe. “Bon appétit.”

  Doc stopped my hand before the lemon bar reached my mouth. “Tish, that’s French.” He leaned over and took a big bite of my lemon bar, stealing almost half of it. His dark eyes creased with laughter as he chewed and swallowed.

  “You have sugar on your lips, Gomez.” I licked mine, trying to tease him into sharing.

  He took the bait, leaning closer, zeroing in on my mouth.

  “Jesus. You two are making my eyes bleed.” Cooper interrupted Doc’s descent. “Somebody go get my gun.”

  “A hose would work better,” Harvey said, returning to his chair. His gold teeth showed through his beard as he grinned across at Doc. “Careful, boy. Sparky’s actin’ hot to trot tonight. She’s rarin’ to get heiferized, so ya might wanna keep yer powder dry.”

  I gaped at Harvey, my cheeks flash heating. “I am not wanting to get heiferized.” That wasn’t entirely true. I was interested in taking part in the process of getting “heiferized,” but not the actual stork delivery results.

  Doc’s laughter filled the kitchen. “Willis, you have a true gift with words.”

  “More like a true gift with manure,” I muttered, shoving the rest of the lemon bar in my mouth.

  “If Cooper is in Layne’s bed,” Reid said to Aunt Zoe. “I can crash on your couch.”

  “That’s where Willis is sleeping,” Aunt Zoe shot back.

  “You sure you wouldn’t rather switch with me?” Cooper asked his uncle. “That couch is hard on a body.”

  “No, siree. Them there lumps fit my back just right. I sleep better on it than yer bed.”

  “I suppose you could sleep on the couch in my workshop.” Aunt Zoe gave in to Reid. “If you insist on staying.”

  “You can’t keep me at arm’s length forever, Zo.”

  “Wanna bet?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Reid’s gaze hardened. “Now, what’s the deal with you and Masterson?”

  “There is no deal.”

  Harvey butted in. “From what Sparky is hintin’ at, it sounds to me like good ol’ Dominick is sufferin’ from Cupid’s cramps.”

  Aunt Zoe scowled at me. “Way to go, mouth.”

  “Don’t blame me.” I pointed at Harvey, who was cramming a second lemon square in his mouth. “Blame him.”

  “I’m blaming both of you.”

  “What did Masterson have to say?” Cooper asked me, grabbing a lemon square and dropping into the chair next to Reid.

  I told Doc most of the scoop earlier over the phone. Other than him, only Aunt Zoe and I knew what had gone down, and she had some blank spots in her memory thanks to Dominick’s thick fog of charm.

  Before I could start, Addy and Kelly ran into the kitchen with their empty lemon square plates, setting them in the sink. Elvis followed on their heels, dressed in a green plaid, chicken-sized sweater vest, which my mother had found online and purchased. Add a Sherlock Holmes hat, pipe, and magnifying glass, and Cooper could have a new partner that squawked instead of barked.

  “Mom,” Addy said, stopping at my side. “Can Kelly and I play with Elvis in my room?”

  “Hmm. I don’t love that idea.”

  “How about if it’s just for an hour, and then I put her back in her cage in the basement?”

  “What do you think, Aunt Zoe?”

  “You promise to clean up any messes?” Aunt Zoe asked Addy.

  “Yeah, but Elvis hasn’t had an accident in over a month. I think she’s finally potty trained.”

  I huffed. “Now you need to teach her not to leave eggs in my shoes.” I’d had to trash a pair of ankle boots earlier this fall when I crushed an egg down deep in the toe while in a rush to get out the door for work.

  “Sheesh, Mom. I’m not a magician, you know.” Addy moved to Doc. “Do you have to work in the morning?” she asked him.

  “I’m taking the day off so I can meet your grandparents.”

  I cringed. Maybe I should have a beer … or six.

  “Good.” Addy gave Doc a coy smile, both of her dimples showing. “Will you come over in the morning and make French toast for us? I was telling Kelly how you put the cinnamon swirls in it and it tastes soooo good.”

  “Sure, Squirt.” He reached over and tweaked her chin.

  “I can make you breakfast, Adelynn,” I said, not wanting Doc to feel put on the spot to feed my kids. Plus, after my conversation with the kids last night about Doc and marriage, I was a tad nervous about how the morning might go if Addy or Layne found Doc in my bed. Doc might want to escape to his nice, quiet house for a while if things blew up in my face.

  “No offense, Mom, but your French toast sort of sucks. Let’s go, Kelly.” Addy grabbed her friend’s hand. “Come on, Elvis,” she called as she and Kelly ran out of the room. Elvis clucked and strutted after them.

  “No offense, Killer,” Doc said, chuckling.

  I grinned. “Show off.”

  Natalie returned from the living room, sliding into her chair. “What did I miss?” she asked, avoiding looking in Cooper’s general direction.

  “Sparky was about to tell us what happened between Dominick Masterson and Zo,” Reid told her.

  “Great.” Natalie grabbed two lemon bars, settling into her chair. “Start with what he was wearing. Masterson always dresses to impress.”

  “Do you want to give her a rundown of his outfit?” I asked Aunt Zoe, fighting back a grin. “Or did you even notice that he was clothed when he was wooing you with all of that whipped cream?”

  “You’ll do just fine, smarty pants.”

  “What whipped cream?” Reid’s eyes were in gunslinger mode.

  I started with Dominick’s arrival in Bighorn Billy’s, included his love of whipped cream, and ended with Aunt Zoe and I making our exit shortly after his warning about Father Time turning on me. Since Reid was sitting with us, I tempered the part about Aunt Zoe, sharing only enough to get the point across that Dominick had her under his spell with what appeared to be minimal effort. By the time I finished, the plate of lemon squares was empty and a quarter inch of snow had accumulated on the back porch railing.

  “What were ya thinking?” Harvey asked Aunt Zoe. When she glared at him, he held up his hands. “I’m serious. What was goin’ through yer mind when he was doin’ that to ya? I’m curious if it felt like when Prudence was in my noggin’.”

  “All I can remember is thinking how attractive Dominick is … was,” she said, glancing at Reid.

  That was the same answer she’d given me on the way back from the diner.

  She tucked a loose silver strand from her braid behind her ear. “Did you ever have a crush on someone so strong that just the sight of them made you stop in your tracks and stare?”

  No, never, not me … said the woman who had nearly lost her best friend over a fiery crush on the tall, dark, and lemon bar-stealing medium sitting next to her.

  My gaze slid to Cooper, another sucker with a crush. He appeared to be studying the label on his beer bottle.

  “Yes,” Natalie answered, snaring Cooper’s attention.

  I laughed out loud.

  “What is that laugh for?” she asked me.

  “Aunt Zoe just described almost every crush you had from sixth grade through high school.”

  “You’re one to talk, ya big tart.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one who ran into that steel post because I was so busy smiling at Joel Soderdale when we walked past him.”

  “That’s no fair. Joel ha
d sparkles in his eyes.” She explained to Aunt Zoe, “He had these intense blue eyes with little silver specs in them. They were mesmerizing.”

  “They were pretty cool,” I had to agree. “He snagged a lot of girls because of his eyes.”

  “And long, dark eyelashes,” Natalie added.

  “And killer cheekbones,” I remembered.

  “Anyway,” Aunt Zoe continued. “That’s how it felt. I was overwhelmed with … well, lust.” She glanced down at the crumbs on her plate, her face darkening. “I wanted him, plain and simple, even though Violet was doing her best to bury her elbow in my ribs.” She looked at Harvey and then Reid with a pinched forehead. “I had no control.”

  Natalie nodded as if she knew that reaction by its first name. “That must explain why every time I see Dominick, I stop and stare at him.”

  “Right.” I snorted. “I’m sure that’s it.”

  She smiled and flipped me off.

  I shot a glance at Cooper to check his temperature after Natalie’s comment. His face was a rigid, unreadable mask, aka “detective mode.” I could practically hear the co-pilot in his head announcing over the loudspeaker that all emotion shields were in place and secure.

  “The point is,” Aunt Zoe cut in again, fiddling with her fork. “I couldn’t resist Dominick, no matter how hard I tried. Hell, nobody in that room could.” She pointed her fork at me. “Except Violet.”

  When all eyes locked onto me, I shrugged. “Dominick makes me sick to my stomach. I was fighting back bouts of nausea from the moment he walked up to our booth, even more so when he tried to touch me.”

  Doc shifted in his chair. “Tried to touch you where?”

  “Only on the hand. That was after Aunt Zoe had escaped to the bathroom.”

  “Why you?” Reid asked Aunt Zoe.

  “Nice, Martin,” Cooper said, shaking his head. “It’s no wonder you’re still single.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, Zo. You’re a beautiful woman, but why did Masterson focus on you when there were other women in the restaurant throwing themselves at him?”

  She chewed on her lower lip. “I have a theory about that. I’m Violet’s Achilles’ heel. Dominick tried to ensnare her, but couldn’t. Through me, though, he can manipulate her.”