New Jersey Yankee In King Arthur's Court

by Robert P McAuley

  The little man was visibly nervous as he said, “Be it about the coins I took fer some cider a week back?”

  “No.” said Merlin as he held back a laugh. “The spirit says that the stone in yer church hast a sword in it, an’ whosoever removes the sword wouldst become King of England.”

  “B-b-but, Wizard Merlin, please tell the spirit that there be no such stone in me church.”

  Merlin turned and whispered to the man, “Ya be tellin’ the truth, father, as I saw no such stone in thy church either.” He spun back to his position of looking up at the sky and said, “Yes, great spirit, he be a believer, as am I.” He nodded as the priest tried in vain to hear what Merlin was hearing.

  “I shall,” said Merlin to the open sky and turned to the priest. “The Great Spirit wishes for ya ta tell all o’ London that in two days times time when the tournament is at a close there shall be a man called Arthur who shall remove the sword and be called King Arthur.” He paused for effect and once again continued.

  “But before he dost remove the sword, all are free ta try removin’ it.”

  “Even I?” asked the priest with a raised eyebrow.

  “So sayith the Great Spirit. All may try.”

  From his perch high up in the tower, Merlin spotted the empty wagon leaving the church and Arty and the group walking away. He patted the priest on his back and said, “I beg thee, friend priest, let us go back down as I am suddenly weary and in need of refreshment.”

  “Yes, yes. Let us go back down and perhaps it be as the Great Spirit tells thee an’ there be a stone and sword in this very church.” He led the way.

  The priest was carefully watching his step and holding tight to the wooden banister as Merlin looked straight down and saw the stone right in front of the altar. Realizing that the priest was concentrating on his footsteps, Merlin thought, as he removed a flour-packed egg from his sleeve, This could be the perfect time for the sword and stone to suddenly appear . . . and in front of such a reputable witness. He counted how many seconds it took for them to reach the second level and started to count to himself as they started down for the main floor and the stone.

  When they were ten steps above the main floor and he knew a supporting post hid the stone, Merlin tossed the egg. It smashed on the ground between the priest and the stone exploding in a loud crack and puff of white smoke, obscuring the stone for a moment. The priest stopped on the third to last step at the sudden explosion of white powder and blessed himself as the stone slowly appeared out of the mist.

  Merlin took the opportunity to help with the miracle by shouting, “Tis a miracle! Right here in thine very own church! Friend priest, thou must be blessed!”

  The man didn’t know what to do with his newfound notoriety. He watched as Merlin touched the stone.

  “Tis cool ta the touch,” he said as he motioned for the priest to touch it.

  The man’s eyes were wide as he touched the stone with the tip of his finger and quickly removed it, as would someone who tested to see if water was hot. He sat in one of the bench seats and said, as he rubbed away the sweat from his forehead, “Great Wizard. I too need refreshment and rest as this day hath had much happen already.”

  “Yes,” said Merlin as he nodded to the man. “I must take leave of yee at this time but, as the Great Spirit said we must tell all of this great event and invite all ta try ta remove the sword.”

  The priest stood and said as nonchalant as possible, “Before I rest, great Wizard, perhaps I shall take the Great Spirit’s word to heart and try ta remove the sword meself. What say yee ta that?”

  “Methinks that dost be a good idea, friend priest.”

  The man approached the stone and gingerly touched the sword’s handle before getting a better grip on it. He gave it a slight tug and looked sheepishly at Merlin and said, “It be stuck pretty tight, friend Merlin. Methinks another pull dost be in order.” He put two hands around the handle and this time braced his legs wide as he pulled with a grunt. “Offf! It be stuck good! Best I stop lest I break it.”

  “Yes,” answered Merlin with a nod. “The Great Spirit would surely frown upon that happening.” He smiled and waved as he walked out the door and down to the Topsy House.

  Harold was feeding James hot porridge and warm milk while he and Thomas listened to the boy’s travels as Merlin entered. There were warm greetings all around and they spent the rest of the morning talking about past events. Finally Merlin said, “James helped me this very day perform a great feat of magic and in two days all of London will see a new king because of it.”

  “James,” asked his father with a proud smile on his face, “be ya learnin’ the magic trade?”

  “Yes,” answered the boy as he shook his head vigorously, “Wizard Merlin tells me all an’ he teached me ta write me name.”

  Harold turned and said to Merlin, “Wizard Merlin, ya be welcome ta stay here with us if ya choose ta.”

  “I do thank yee, friend Harold,” answered the magician. “And James and I shall practice for the big show in the church in two days time.”

  Harold puffed up his chest knowing that his son would be in the show and offered, “Thomas and me shall tell all o’ London of the show.”

  Merlin nodded. “Fine, dear friends. After he has eaten I wouldst meet with James in my room and then I shall take a nap as we were awake very early this day.” He went to his room to relax and ten minutes later James came down the stairs.”

  “Wizard Merlin,” he said, “hast thou instructions fer me?”

  “I do, James. I need ya to go out the gates an’ find Arthur. Tell him ta stay where he be an’ tonight when it’s dark, thou and me shall go visit him.”

  “Yes, sire.” He ran up the stairs and Merlin stretched out on a mattress of fresh, sweet smelling hay.

  The boy ran down the dirt streets jumping over puddles, knowing that because it hadn’t rained in a few weeks, the water was man-made and should be avoided. It was a first for James as the beggars took note of the boy dressed in better than average clothing and shoes, and tried their hand at separating him from any coins he may be carrying. Having grown up in the area he simply avoided them and ran out the gates. The air was much sweeter outside of the city and he took a deep breath as he started his search for his newfound friends. James could tell how long the people of each campsite had been camped by the amount of debris surrounding their tents and he kept walking further from the city knowing that Arty and the others were among the last to arrive. Finally he spotted Delvlin doing push-ups and went to him.

  “Yo, James!” called Delvlin as he stood with his hands on his hips breathing deep. “How’s it going, dude?”

  “It be goin’ fine, friend Delvlin. Pray tell me, where be Arthur?”

  The well-built boy pointed as he said, “That’s his tent next to the tree. I’m pretty sure he’s inside. Go check it out.”

  James shook his head and said, “Check it out I shall, friend Delvlin.” He walked towards the tent thinking, Methinks our Keansburg gang speakith weirdly at times. Yet, I understand what it be they say ta me. Strange indeed!

  He rapped on the wooden post holding the tent up and said, “Arthur! I be checkin’ it out! Be thou in there?”

  He was rewarded by a smiling Arty poking his head out. “Yo, Jimmy dude! C’mon in and take a load off.” He held the flap open and James entered. Bruno, Garrte and Jennie sat eating fruit. Arty squatted down as Jennie wiped her hands off and stood.

  “James, would yee like some berries?”

  The boy quickly sat and joined them as he gave Arty the message from Merlin. An hour later James left and returned to his father.

  The moon was full as James guided Merlin out the gates and through the many campsites to where Arty and all of the others had camped. Hearing the sound of Rap, Merlin said to James, “Ahh! That’s the sound of our group. I feel like we’re home again.”

  The Keansburg gang was dancing as the troubadours sang a slow ballad accompanied by the strings
of the musicians. Merlin stayed in the shadows as he saw ‘his’ guys dancing with the girls of this era and thought, Well, if there was a chance of going back home now or staying, I’m betting the guys would elect to stay. He saw Arty glide by with Jennie in his arms and he smiled, Yep! It sure looks like all’s well. Merlin and James stood in the shadows until the dance was over and then stepped into the circle of light of the fires.

  “Arthur,” he called as they approached.

  “Hey,” Arty called out to the gang as he spotted them, “It’s Merlin and Jimmy. C’mon in guys.”

  They patted backs, shook hands and high fived all around.

  A smiling Merlin said, “Great job with the sword and stone, Arty.”

  Arty gave a big toothy smile and said, “Do ya like the placement?”

  “It is perfect! Right in front of the altar. Very impressive, Arthur.”

  “Who did you take up to the tower while we carried in the stone?”

  “None other than the top man of the church. And let me tell you, he is impressed. He thinks it’s a miracle and promised to tell all that whoever removes the sword from the stone will be King of England.”

  “He should be impressed,” said Arty arching his back and placing a hand on his hip. “That stone had to be two hundred pounds at least. Glad we had the guys along to help.” They sat in front of the fire and Jennie sat close to Arty as he asked Merlin in a low tone of voice, “So, what’s next?”

  “You guys stay here for tomorrow and from what I understand the tournament will end at dark the following evening. If all goes as planned the church will be full with many of the men trying to pull the sword out and become king. I’d like you to give all the guys a handful of flour and enter the church with the crowd. I counted twenty torches in the church this morning, ten on each side, and I’d like it if each torch had one of our guys next to it that night. When I drop some flour-filled eggs from behind the tapestry of the altar, that’ll the signal for them to throw the flour in the flames of the torches.”

  “But won’t the people see them toss the flour?”

  “No. I’m going to tell the priest to keep them quiet as it is a sacred moment and I believe the sudden sound of my eggs as they shatter and emit the white powder will get their attention. But the timing has to be perfect for the effect to work.”

  “No problem, Merlin. But let me ask ya this, won’t the flour put the flames out?”

  “No. When the flour is tossed in the air it becomes a fine powder that will ignite when it hits the flame. It won’t burn, but it will fizzle like a firecracker that shoots sparks.”

  “Okay. Now what do I do, just go up there and pull the sword out of the stone?”

  “No, Arthur,” said a smiling Merlin as he rubbed his hands. “In the position we are in, nothing should be a casual occurrence. Everything Arthur does will be recorded and we should take advantage of it to make it seem as though it was a huge deal.” He handed him a handful of seeds and said, “When the flames of the torches are blazing and sparkling from the fine powder, and I appear on the altar, everyone’s eyes will be on me. That’s when you place these seeds on top of your head and stay still. Arrow will point you out.”

  “Okay, Merlin. Will you be back here before that?”

  “No. I don’t want to take the chance of anyone spotting us together.” He placed a hand on Arty’s shoulder and with a fatherly smile said, “Good luck, Arthur. I feel this is your destiny.”

  Arthur nodded and answered with firmness in his voice that Merlin had never heard before, “I do believe, Merlin the Magician, that this is your destiny as well as mine and the Knights of the Round Table. Take care, my good friend, and we’ll see this through together.”

  Merlin walked away believing it would come to pass as it was written in the history books.

  The next day Merlin woke to a tap on the wooden door of his room followed by James saying, “Wizard Merlin. Morning-meal be served. Be yee comin’?”

  Hearing his stomach rumble Merlin answered as he put his feet on the cool stone floor, “Yes, James. I shall be there shortly.”

  At the table in the kitchen sat Thomas and Harold. James hefted some thick, hot oats out of a kettle and put a dollop on each of their plates. He poured each a cup of milk and then sat and joined them.

  “So,” asked Thomas, “What dost thou do this day, friend Merlin?”

  “Friend Thomas, as it be mine first day in a tournament, I be out ta see the sights.”

  “Mind the pick-pockets,” added Harold.

  “Father,” said James with a big grin, “methinks the pick-pockets ought be warned o’ Wizard Merlin bein’ among them this day.”

  “Friend Harold,” asked Merlin, “have yee a long coat I might use ta walk about in, as I don’t want people ta stop me an’ ask fer magic?”

  “Aye! I do. An’ ya kin use it fer as long as ya need, friend Merlin.” He turned to James and said, “James, when ya be done eatin’, wouldst thou get me greatcoat fer our friend?”

  “Aye, father.”

  “An’” added Harold, “wouldst thou be askin’ young James ta be with ya on yer walk?”

  “No. I wouldst be alone an’ let the boy visit his father.”

  Harold’s smile told him that he was pleased with Merlin’s answer and an hour later the tall man with his long hair tucked up beneath a leather cap and wearing a long greatcoat left the rooming house.

  The sun was high but there was a light breeze that warranted the use of the greatcoat and Merlin didn’t seem out of place with it. Although he wasn’t familiar with the city, and, except for the church, didn’t know his way around, he followed the sound of the crowds and soon found himself on a long, crowded street. Stepping out among the throngs of people he followed along and enjoyed the sights, if not all of the smells, of the tournament. Merlin noticed that the beggars were not just men, but women too, and many of them carried babies with them. I wonder, he thought, if the babies are brought along as sort of a tug on one’s heartstring?

  He saw small shops that sold medicines and right next to them another selling chicken bones and heads for hexing. He thought as he strolled along, To each, his own. He spotted a card shark dealing from the bottom of the deck and smiled as he saw a group of wide-eyed children watch a man holding a doll that spoke when he threw his voice.

  He suddenly felt the crowd get more excited and realized that they had turned a corner and entered a wide street with streamers of all different colors flying from upper balcony’s and flag poles. Flowers of every color hung from the window boxes. He smelled horse waste before he saw it and quickly stepped around it. The loudness of the crowd died down and he felt them take on a more reverend tone as many horses stood tied to rails that lined the street and women dressed in bright colored gowns and long dresses stood about waving fans beneath their noses. He knew they waved them to keep the flies as well as the smells away. The crowd gave them space and Merlin felt he was seeing the upper class of England as it gathered for a tournament.

  “Make way! Make way!” He heard the voice and followed the rest of the crowd as they heeded the command and created a path for five riders who preceded five, elegantly dressed knights on horseback, their armor gleaming in the sunlight.

  The front riders were young pages dressed in tight fitting clothes and all wore their hair in the latest pageboy style. They were firm, but polite, as they made way for their knights. Merlin looked close as the knights slowly rode by and he saw fierce looking armored men on large horses that also wore armor. Their visor’s were in the open position and on a closer look he saw what the commoners didn’t: older, tired men who, because of their dress and bearing, kept up the appearance of a fierce ruling class. Nothing wrong with keeping up appearances, he thought. It’s just that they could be nicer to their working class and share a little more.

  Merlin moved through the crowd towards the front and heard the clang of steel meeting steel and grunting. Finally up front, he saw six pairs of knights swingi
ng their swords at each other. It was obvious that they were tired and at every opportunity they stopped and opened their visors for more air. One stepped back and tripped over another’s foot and fell to the ground in a cloud of dirt and mud. The other stepped back and they both opened their visors and took deep breaths as the man on the ground looked at his pages. They quickly trotted over and helped him stand as they wiped the sweat from his face.

  Lord! Thought an amused Merlin. They aren’t fighting at all! They’re going through the motions of fighting, but it’s all for the crowd! They’re putting on a show for the commoners. It’s Rome all over again: ‘Please the masses and keep the ruling class on top.’ Well it’s time for a real king to step in and fix this sham.

  Merlin saw a group of knights on horseback talking amongst themselves as they slowly rode out to a large, grassy pasture separated by a long white and red striped pole down the center. Many five-foot high poles supported the long pole. Merlin recognized what it was immediately: A jousting ground. To one side was a long block of wooden seats filled with the better dressed of London. They sat and chatted while some waved away the flies and others had pages doing it for them. They sipped cool drinks and ate tid-bits of chicken and bread.

  A trumpet sounded and one knight rode to one end and the other faced him on the other side of the pole straddling the center. They both lowered their visors as another trumpet sounded. They started off slow and quickly picked up speed as they galloped towards each other with a lance tucked under an arm, the point aimed at the other knight. The lance’s tip had a blunt leather bag attached to it and when they hit in the middle of the field, both were sent reeling out of their saddles and fell with a clang. The horses continued and were reigned in by their respective pages while other pages ran to their knights. The boys helped them up and the crowd cheered as they were helped off the field.

  I have to hand it to them, thought Merlin as he walked away. That takes nerve.