New Jersey Yankee In King Arthur's Court

by Robert P McAuley

  The priest grabbed Merlin’s sleeve as he passed. “Wizard Merlin! Am I not ta crown our King and Queen this very night?”

  “Methinks, friend Priest, that the crowning ceremony shouldst take place very soon, but not here where there be knights who wouldst slay them. Best we wait till later.”

  “But,” the priest asked, “twould be me what’s placin’ the crown on their heads?”

  “Yes, friend Priest. It be yee who’d crown them.” Merlin quickly followed the group out of the church as he thought, Tomorrow I walk the streets of London dressed as an old man in a greatcoat and get the feel of the people.

  He rose early and was happily surprised to see Harold up early as well.

  “G’mornin’, Wizard Merlin. Did ya get some good sleep, my friend?”

  “G’morn’ ta yee, friend Harold. I slept as would a babe.”

  “An’ wouldst thee like some goat milk an’ warm bread?”

  Merlin nodded. “Yes, that wouldst be fine. Then if I may borrow thy greatcoat an’ hat once again, I be off ta walk the streets o’ London.”

  “Will ya be in need o’ James?”

  Merlin shook his head. “No, this day I walk ta listen ta what the people say of their new king and queen an’ would be better alone.” He drank his milk and took the piece of bread Harold pressed in his hand. “Thank yee, friend Harold. I be back later an chat with ya.”

  He exited the building and as the sun rose, the crowds grew until the streets of London were full of people going about their business. It was easy to mingle and hear what the people had to say of last night’s events. He would stop and inspect some fruit or fish and ask what they thought of the new king and queen. This always started the cart owner to speak as though they were there even if they weren’t. He spoke to a great cross-section of the populace as he purposely headed towards the section of town that had many taverns. He entered one, ‘The Jolly Rooster,’ and ordered ale at the bar. Merlin joined in the conversation of the ten men who were drinking there and left knowing that all were pleased about having a king and queen. He stepped out into the street and spotted what he was looking for: Sir Albert and his gang. They entered a tavern, ‘The Carriage House,’ and he followed at a distance. The tavern was dark and the man behind the bar was tall and muscular with an earring. Merlin went to the end of the bar and stood with two other men between himself and Sir Albert and his men.

  Sir Albert shouted, “Ale fer me an’ me friends.”

  The barman put up wooden mugs and filled them for the knight and his men. They picked up their mugs and one said loud enough for all to hear: “A toast ta Sir Albert! Soon ta be King Albert!” His men toasted to that.

  Sir Albert walked around the tavern with his drink in his beefy hand and addressed the rest of the patrons: “Pray have a drink with me, friends. Fer soon I be the king an’ will remember all who say so in here.”

  He soon had a crowd of drinking ‘yes-men’ listening to him.

  “Soon, an army will strike this young upstart, Arthur an’ I be at its head. He who follows me shall enjoy my graces when I become King o’ England.”

  “What of the queen?” All turned to see an elderly man on a crutch as he went on. “Was it not the new queen what struck thee with the sword?”

  Albert’s eyes became twin slits and he foamed at the mouth, “Who be yee ta say such words? I shall smite yee fer bein’ disrespectful ta a knight.” The crowd parted as the heavy man drew his sword and approached the lame man.

  “Wouldst thee strike a man with no weapon, Sir Albert?”

  “I would strike a man what tells lies o’ me. Retract what ya said, dolt an’ live ta see another day!”

  The man shook his head. “My friend, I be too old ta tell lies an’ too old ta retract a truth. With mine own eyes I saw the queen strike yee with the sacred sword.”

  Merlin saw that Sir Albert was about to strike the man and as all of the patrons watched them, he quickly removed his coat and hat as he threw an egg to the floor. The sudden cloud of white stopped Sir Albert and all looked at the tall, gray haired man who had just appeared among them. He walked slowly towards the man as he said in a low, chilling voice: “Stay they hand, Sir Albert. For this man speaks the truth and shall not be harmed for it.”

  A sudden gasp came from the crowd, followed by many saying, “Tis the Wizard!”

  Sir Albert’s eyes bulged as he said, “Where dost thou come from? This be not thy fight, Wizard. Leave an’ let us be.”

  “I entered this tavern because I saw evil spirits enter an’ would tell all that should they stay, this night they shall enter Hades.”

  A sudden scuffling told him that the place was empting fast. Sir Albert looked around and saw that most of his men were standing outside. He turned to Merlin with hate filled eyes. “Today I let thee both live Wizard, as I shant smite a man before mid-day meal.” He turned and quickly left to go to another tavern . . . with less of a following that he started out with.

  Merlin patted the old man. “Friend, best yee be on yer way lest Sir Albert finds courage in his drink.”

  The man smiled up at him. “Thank yee, Wizard Merlin, and tell the King and Queen there be trouble comin’ at them by Sir Albert fer he be tryin’ ta raise an army ta smite them.”

  Merlin put his disguise back on in the empty tavern and left. He kept up his questioning of the people of London and was happy to find that most felt the new King and Queen was so much like the common people by sleeping in a tent outside of the city’s gates. Even though they were well guarded by their knights, it was a sign of unity with the regular people.

  There was a feeling of merriment and relaxation among the groups camped outside of the gates and Arthur and Jennie gathered them all together for the first time since they arrived at London. Arthur looked at Jennie and said, “Do you want to talk to them or should I?”

  “Your turn,” she answered as she checked his bandage. “I did a lot of talking last night.”

  Arthur smiled to himself as he saw the three hundred plus members of their ‘gang’ standing or sitting around waiting to hear what was next.

  “Hey, gang,” he said, “last night was great and you all deserve a hand.” As usual he paused to let those who had a better grasp on his style of speaking translate for the others. He called it his ten-second pause.

  “We have a big job in front of us and me and Queen Jennie will be leaning on you all.” He did a ten second-pause then went on.

  “The first thing we’re going to do is go to Camelot and check out the castle because that’s where we’re all going to live.” A great roar of approval followed this ten second-pause.

  “Where be Camelot?” asked a young girl up front.

  “Tis a one day walk from here as it be in Hampshire,” said Jennie as they took questions.

  “I hear tell, my Queen,” said a young man, “that Camelot be haunted. Be that true?”

  “May be,” said Arthur with a big grin. “But the ghosts will keep the spiders away.”

  “And maybe Sir Albert,” said Merlin as Arthur and Jennie turned to see the wizard standing where a moment ago it had just been an empty spot.

  “Sir Albert?” Jennie asked. “I almost forgot about him. Is he starting up again?”

  “Best we sit and speak in your tent, my friends.”

  Arthur turned to the group and said, “I’ll get back to you all about when we make our move in a bit. See ya’ll later, dudes.” The group dispersed as they entered their tent. The sound of metal assured them that at least one of the knights stepped in front of the tent to protect them.

  Ron brought in some chicken tid-bits and sweet sauce along with cool cider and then left as they sat at the small table.

  “Arthur, Jennie,” Merlin said as he looked at both of them. “I went into London wearing Harold’s greatcoat and cap so I might move about without being recognized and I tell you, all that the people of London talk about is their new King and Queen. They are one hundred percent behind y
ou both, but they wonder if you are brother and sister or perhaps cousins.”

  “Why would they think that?” asked Jennie.

  Merlin spread his hands, palms up, and said as he shrugged, “I have no idea! They just do.”

  “And,” asked Arthur, “what about Albert the Fat?”

  “I saw him and his crew in their drinking spot and he was super upset. He was talking about raising an army and overthrowing the new monarchy.”

  “Darn. Does he know where we are camped?” asked Jennie as she twisted a handkerchief.

  Arthur patted her hand. “Don’t sweat him, Jennie and, first things first.”

  “What’s that?” she asked.

  “We simply must dispel the rumors of us being brother and sister or cousins.”

  “How?” she asked with open hands.

  “By us getting married, silly.”

  Jennie’s eyes opened as wide as her mouth and for a moment she was speechless. She then jumped onto Arthur’s lap and hugged him around his neck. “Ohh Arthur. Married? When? Where?”

  She started to cry and Arthur said, “When? Why not tomorrow? Where? Right here in the meadow so all can attend.” He wiped her tears away and said, “What do you say?”

  “B-But I don’t have anything to wear.”

  “Jenn. Do you know how many fantastic seamstresses you have available now that you are the Queen of England?”

  She covered her mouth with her hands and said to nobody in particular, “I have to get a dress and I need new shoes, the ones I wore yesterday got dirty in that scuffle.” She stood with her hands on her hips and said, “Tomorrow is out of the question.”

  “Then, the next day.”

  “Maybe, maybe, I’ll have to see.”

  “Talk to the girls and remember, if we want to show that we’re not yet related, we have to move fast on this.”

  She left the tent, came back in and kissed Arthur and left again calling the girls to tell them the good news.

  As large as London is, the word of the new King and Queen getting married spread like wildfire. That and the fact that they were getting married in the meadow where all could attend just proved to the people that the change was for the better.

  On the day of the wedding, storefronts, wagons and stalls were cleaned and decorated with colorful bunting and flowers. Everyone wore their best outfits and watched as the priest and his attendants did a slow walk down the curved street towards the city gates. He was dressed in his very best clergy outfit and various priests and church officials walked with him. He smiled inwardly knowing that they were perplexed that such an out-of-the-way priest should be marrying the Royal couple, and not one of them.

  The crowd followed them out the gates and along the dirt packed trail until it veered away from the meadow thick with green grass and studded with red, white, yellow and blue flowers. There were hundreds of tents that usually were drab in color but now sported ribbons and banners from their pinnacles. On top of the highest hill there was a large oak tree with a small pond beneath it. Next to the tree stood a small, red, white and yellow tent with a long white ribbon at its top flapping in the light breeze. Surrounding the base of the hill at a respectable distance were hundreds of mostly young people gaily dressed and waiting.

  As briefed by Merlin, the priest went to the top of the hill and stood with his entourage on either side of him. They all stood around as musicians played and singers entertained them with love songs.

  Finally, someone pointed at movement in the distance and after a few minutes they could make out a knight riding a magnificent white horse coming towards the same hill. Murmuring started as to whom it could be approaching but fell into a deep silence as the horse stopped on the crest of the hill and a page ran and held its reins as the knight dismounted.

  He was taller than most of the knights they had seen and many who felt they knew all of the knights, bet as to who it could be.

  His armor had a silver-blue hue and was highly polished. On top of his helmet was a long, fluffed up white plume of feathers and his shield was deep blue with a green outline of a country unrecognized by all.

  A young man with a tenor voice started to sing of two young lovers meeting at the altar and two young ladies walked over and pulled open the flaps on the tent. Out stepped Jennie.

  She was dressed in a flowing, white gown with pearls sewn in a flowered pattern. On her head she wore a small pointed hat that held a veil, which covered her face. Her hair was done in an upswept style that had a small, silver decorative comb in the rear. White and yellow flowers were pinned in her hair around the crown of the hat and they matched the bouquet that draped down to her feet. She wore white, elbow length, opera gloves that had pearls sewn around the edges and on her feet were a pair of white, soft linen slippers, once again adorned with pearls and white flowers. Jennie was breathtaking and the crowd all seemed to utter ‘Ahhh!’ at the same time.

  She took small steps towards the knight next to his horse and it was then that the crowd saw him open his visor. It was Arthur and he reached out his hand to her as she reached him. Jennie took hold of his hand and they turned and walked across to the waiting priests.

  The ceremony was short and as Arthur lifted her veil and kissed her there was a puff of smoke and Merlin appeared next to the tree. He carried a red, plush pillow covered by a red velvet cloth. The crowd was torn between watching the young married couple or the wizard as he approached them.

  Merlin made sure that he was facing the main part of the crowd as he said in his booming voice: “Hear yee, hear yee, people of London. As witnessed by many of London’s folks, priests and knights, we see before us our own King Arthur and Queen Guinevere newly married. There be but one item missing and that I bring to complete this union.”

  He looked at the couple and said, “King Arthur, Queen Guinevere, wouldst thou kneel.” They kneeled before the wizard and he removed the velvet cloth to reveal two gold crowns. He then turned and pointed to the priest. “Father, wouldst thou accompany me?”

  Much to the surprise of his attendants, and to himself although he was astute enough not to let that be seen, the priest stepped forward and joined Merlin in front of the royal couple.

  Merlin briefly hugged the priest and whispered, “Follow what I do, friend father.” He turned and took the lighter of the two and after removing her hat, placed it on Jennie’s head. He raised his voice and said, “I crown thee Queen Guinevere of England.” He flashed his eyes at the priest and the man picked up the heavier crown, took the helmet off Arthur’s head and placed the crown in its place.

  “I crown thee King Arthur of England.”

  King Arthur and Queen Guinevere stood, turned and faced the now roaring and adoring crowd. “Come,” said Arthur to the crowd. “Let us all walk through the streets of London together.”

  With Arthur and Guinevere riding two white horses and surrounded by the knights and the Keansburg gang they rode through the streets of London greeting one and all. Later they retired to their camps outside the gates and feasted on duck, chicken, pork and roasted vegetables with their knights doing guard duty. The sounds of rap echoed over the hills accompanied by the stringed instruments of the troubadours well into the early morning.

  Morning brought the birds singing as they picked up any of the food that had fallen during the reception the night before and more than one tent flap opened as the group started a new day.

  “Good morning, King sleepyhead,” said Guinevere with a nudge.

  “Oww,” came his reply, “My wound. You poked my wound.”

  “Liar!” she said with a smile as she checked his bandage. “I did no such thing. Now, we have to get dressed. It’s moving day, or have you forgotten?”

  He pinched her nose and said, “Kings don’t forget things.”

  She rolled her eyes and got up. “I’m getting washed, dressed and eating. I’m starved!”

  “Me too, wait up.”

  At morning-meal Arthur and Guinevere sat with the
original Keansburg gang and the head from the other groups as they hashed out the best way to get to Camelot.

  Ron said, as he sketched on a parchment, “Camelot Castle be here, in Hampshire. Tis run down, Sires. Onest I slept there as a storm catched me enroute ta London an’ the drafts come through many a crevasse ta chill one ta the bone.”

  “Be there no rooms in Camelot?” asked Guinevere.

  “Aye! But there be spirits livin’ them, m’lady.”

  “Sorry, Ron. I’m not afraid of spirits,” she said.

  “But of course not, m’lady. Thou be queen! An’ a queen be not afraid o’ things like that.”

  She smiled as she thought, You should only know.

  “Well,” said Arthur. “I think you should ride up front with us, Ron.”

  “But of course, Sire. That be my place.”

  “And,” continued Arthur, “I think that right after morning-meal we should break down the camp and start out. Maybe we can sleep in Camelot this very night.”

  “If that be thy wish, Sire, it shall be done.”

  Arthur wisely looked at Guinevere and asked, “If that be m’lady’s wish too?”

  A smiling Guinevere agreed and Ron ran off to start the trek southwest to Camelot Castle.

  Two hours later the entire group of over three hundred young men and women sat by the side of the road in the marching order Ron had set up. He ran back to Arthur and Guinevere. He bowed and said, “Sires, the groups be ready ta go. Shall I tell yee how best we should ride?”

  Arthur looked at Guinevere with a questioning look on his face and she answered his unasked question: “Ron wants to tell us the order he thinks we should ride in.”

  “Oh,” said Arthur nodding at his page, “Pray tell, Ron. What be thy thought?”

  “Methinks, Sires, that yee shouldst ride up front with I next to yee fer directing us, an’ Wizard Merlin and Queen Guinevere next as the queen be protected better that way. Riding with us be thy knights fer guard duty, an’ thy clan, the Keansburg gang with the knights’ fer ya protection. Following behind would be all other groups with wagons, tents an’ supplies.” Looking for an okay on his suggestion, he asked, “What think yee off that, Sires?”