A Place of Refuge

by Janet Lee Barton

“No need to explain to me. I know it’s been a long, grueling, wonderful day for you.” He leaned forward and spoke to the driver and then sat back. “Were going to drive through Central Park. Have you ever done that at night?”

  “No, I never have.”

  As they drove down the streets of the city, Luke knew there was no one he’d rather be with—now or forever. He loved this woman with all his heart and he wanted to tell her. But tonight wasn’t the night to declare his love. She was worn out. He needed to wait until she’d had a good night’s sleep and was rested. But he could tell her how proud he was of her.

  “You know, you worried all for nothing. The Lord did have it under control and He used you in a huge way to get the Heaton family back together again. I can’t tell you how much I admire what you’ve done and what you want to do to help those still in the tenements, Kate.”

  “Oh, Luke. Thank you. But you had just as big a part in helping the Heatons as I did. And I know you are as happy as I am at the outcome.”

  “I am. I do hope that my book will help people in the tenements as much as your work with the Ladies’ Aide Society is going to.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not sure how a dime novel could help, unless you give all the proceeds from it to—”

  Luke laughed. “No, Kathleen. I thought you knew—that you realized I’ve been writing a different kind of book, one that I hope will give the people in the tenements hope that they can get out of there and make new lives for themselves like you and your sister have.”

  “Like us?” Kathleen sat up straight and he could see she was angry. “You used my family as examples? Luke, how could you?”

  “How could I what? I’m trying to help, to—”

  “You wrote about me and Colleen and our family? You used us to write your book?”

  “No! Kathleen, I’d never—”

  “Have the driver take us home. Now, please.”

  “Kathleen, listen to me.”

  “I’ve heard enough. That you could use our situation to your gain!”

  Luke felt the blood rush to his face. How dare she accuse him of something like that?

  “Driver,” she called out, “there’s been a change in plans. Take us to Heaton House now, please.”

  “Kathleen—”

  “I have nothing more to say to you.” She turned away and shut him out. There was nothing to do but pray that he’d find a way to make her see how wrong she was.

  The driver had barely stopped the hack at Heaton House and she was out of it like a flash and in the house before Luke could pay the man.

  “She’s not very happy with you, mate.”

  “No. Nor am I with her.” Luke handed the man his money and rushed up the steps to the house. He opened the door and resisted the urge to slam it. Kathleen was nowhere to be seen, but thankfully, neither were any of the other boarders. He took the stairs down to his floor and to his room.

  What was she thinking? She had to know him better than to think he would do her or her family any harm! He slammed his fist down on top of the manuscript pages he had ready to send his publisher. That she could believe something like that left him with a knot in his gut and feeling as if a sharp knife had just pierced his heart.

  * * *

  Kathleen paced the floor of her room. How could Luke have used her and her family for research for his book? Just as she’d begun to trust him, he’d betrayed that trust. But what was worse, she could no longer deny she loved him. And it hurt unbearably that he’d done something like this.

  There was a knock on her door and she went to answer, thinking it might be Mrs. Heaton back from Michael’s. Maybe Reba was with her. She opened the door to find Gretchen there.

  “Miss Kathleen. Mr. Luke wanted me to ask you to come to Mrs. Heaton’s study. Said he needs to speak with you—”

  “I don’t want to talk to Luke right now, Gretchen.”

  “Oh, please, Miss Kathleen. He said if you don’t come down he’s coming up to get you and you know how that will upset Mrs. Heaton.” She began wringing her hands.

  Kathleen heaved a huge sigh. “All right. He’s in Mrs. Heaton’s study?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Kathleen marched down the stairs, indignant that he would use Gretchen in that way. He could get her into all kinds of trouble. She didn’t bother to knock on the study door.

  “Luke Patterson, what are you thinking? We have nothing more to discuss! And I don’t feel like talking.”

  “You don’t have to talk!” His eyes flashed. “But there are a few things I have to say, and you’re going to listen. I understand how hard it might be for you to trust a man after all you’ve been through, but there’s one thing you need to know.”

  Kathleen held her breath, waiting for his next words. “I love you with all my heart, even though I know you’ll never trust me with yours. And I don’t know what to do about it except give you this.” He handed her a box.

  “Take it.” He thrust it at her and she had no choice but to take it. “It’s my manuscript, but it’s yours to do with as you will. Burn it, tear it up—I don’t care.”

  With that, he turned and left her speechless as he walked out the door.

  Kathleen hurried up the stairs with it, ready to do just as he suggested. Before she’d let her family become a laughingstock she’d— Kathleen stopped in her steps. Would he really have given it to her if he’d done what she accused him of? Luke?

  Kathleen sat down on the settee in front of the fireplace and held the box in her lap. She’d have to light a fire to burn it and it was really too warm for that now. She lifted the top off the box and took the pages out with trembling fingers. She could tear them up. She took the first page, held it in her hands and began to read.

  Six hours later at the crack of dawn she was crying. Again. How could she ever have accused Luke the way she did? She’d come to trust him, so why did she light into him the way she had?

  Maybe it had been hearing how Reba had been treated by Jenny’s father—one more example of a woman trusting a man and being betrayed—that had brought up all of her trust issues again. But that wasn’t Luke and she knew it. When the woman he’d loved died, he was by her side; he hadn’t betrayed her.

  And he’d been there for Kathleen, every time she’d needed him. To the point that she finally knew she had no reason not to give her heart to him. And that scared her with every fiber of her being. What if it didn’t work out?

  She blew her nose and wiped her eyes. Yes, she was afraid of giving her heart to Luke, but not doing so frightened her even more. She had to decide if she was going to be brave enough to do what her heart begged her to do, or if she was going to live the rest of her life in regret.

  She slid to her knees and prayed. “Dear Lord, please forgive me for treating Luke so badly, for not having faith in You to help me trust my heart to him. For not letting go of my fear when I know I have nothing to fear with You by my side. I don’t know if Luke can forgive me, but please give me the courage to ask him to. And show me Your will for us. In Jesus’s name, Amen.”

  Kathleen dried her eyes, put the manuscript pages back in the box and ran back downstairs to the kitchen where she knew she’d find Gretchen even though no one else would be up by now.

  “Gretchen, can you ask Luke to come to the little parlor? I need to speak to him.”

  She must think the two of them were crazy, but if so, she didn’t say. “Of course. Actually he came up for coffee just a few minutes ago and asked if I’d seen you. I’ll let him know.”

  “Thank you.”

  Kathleen hurried to the back parlor and paced back and forth, waiting to see if Luke would give her another chance, if he could forgive—

  “Kathleen? Gretchen said you wanted to speak to me?”

  He looked as if he’d
lost his best friend and she was afraid she’d lost hers. Oh, dear Lord, please help me here.

  “I did. I...” She swallowed around the knot of tears in her throat and picked up his boxed manuscript. “I wanted to give this back to you so that you can send it off to your publisher as quickly as possible.”

  He took it from her but his gaze never left hers. “You read it?”

  “Yes. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Luke. I don’t know what got into me. Yes, I do. It was fear, plain and simple. Fear of giving my complete trust to you, even though you and the Lord have been showing me how very trustworthy you are for weeks now. I’ve asked for His forgiveness—now I ask for yours although I know I don’t deserve it.” She took a deep breath and continued. “I’ve known that I love you for a while now, but I’ve been afraid to admit it and trust that you might love me, too.”

  Luke dropped the box on the nearest table and pulled her into his arms. “You love me?”

  “I love you. And I know I can trust your love for me. Will you forgive me for accusing you so wrongly? Can you still love me after hurting you the way I have?”

  “Kate, I’ve had my own fears about loving you. I can’t bear the thought of losing you the way I lost Beth. But the thought of living without you is too painful to contemplate and I’m going to trust that the Lord will see us through everything together. My love for you isn’t fleeting, it’s for a lifetime, if you want it.”

  Kathleen’s heart filled with so much love for this man she thought it might burst with happiness. “Oh, yes, that’s exactly what I want—today, tomorrow and always.”

  “Will you trust me to love you for the rest of our lives and become my wife, Kate?”

  “I will trust my heart to you, Luke, and I’ll be honored to become your wife.”

  Luke bent his head and she stood on tiptoe as his lips claimed hers in a kiss that assured her heart a lifetime of happiness and love. Kate kissed him back and sent up a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for bringing this trustworthy man into her life.

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt from Falling for the Teacher by Dorothy Clark.

  Dear Reader,

  While writing my previous Love Inspired Historical book Somewhere to Call Home, I wondered what it would be like to live in the tenements, striving to make a living, just merely getting by. And then I thought about the family dynamics of being crowded into a tiny apartment, the tensions and the stress of dealing with it all. Out of all that, a new character came to mind named Kathleen O’Bryan.

  But Kathleen became such a strong secondary character that she very nearly took away from Michael and Violet’s romance. And they deserved their own story. So Kathleen’s part in Somewhere to Call Home became a short scene that took place in Central Park when her brother-in-law threatened her and her sister, and Luke Patterson came to her aid. I think Luke fell a little bit in love with her that day, for he never stopped thinking of her. Thankfully, I was given a chance to write another Heaton House book and this time it’s Kathleen and Luke’s story.

  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about how they fell in love—in spite of their vows to never give their hearts to another. Kathleen because she doesn’t trust men at all, after all she’s seen and been through, and Luke because he fears losing someone he loves once again. This couple longs for lasting love, but must decide to trust the Lord to guide them to each other and trust their future together to Him.

  I hope you enjoyed reading Kathleen’s story as much as I loved writing it.

  Blessings,

  Janet Lee Barton

  Questions for Discussion

  When Kathleen is delivered to Heaton House, how does Luke feel about what’s happened to this woman who has changed the direction of his writing? What does he decide to do?

  After all that her brother-in-law put her sister and her through, Kathleen finds it hard to trust any man. Have you ever felt that way? How did you get past it? Did you trust in the Lord to help you?

  Kathleen is amazed at how everyone at Heaton House accepts her. Do you think she would be accepted that way today? Why or why not?

  If the things that happened in Kathleen’s and Luke’s pasts happened to you, would you have felt the same way they did? Would you find it hard to trust the Lord or would you turn to Him to help you get through it?

  When Kathleen’s sister is shot and she goes back to the tenements to help, do you think she made the right decision by not taking her nephews to Heaton House? Would you have made the same decision?

  Were Luke’s fears over Kathleen going in and out of the tenements understandable after what had happened to his fiancée? Or was he being overly protective of her?

  Luke’s fiancée died in his arms and he blamed himself for not being there to keep her from being shot. Do you think that is a normal reaction? How would you have advised him to deal with his guilt and go on with his life? Did talking to Kathleen help him?

  When Kathleen suspects that Reba might be Mrs. Heaton’s daughter, she turns to Luke for advice. They decide not to tell Mrs. Heaton until they are sure Reba is Rebecca. Do you think they did the right thing? Would you have made the same decision? Why or why not?

  When Luke tells Kathleen about the book he has written, she accuses him of using her and her family. How do you think that made Luke feel? Who did he turn to? Was he right in giving her the manuscript to do whatever she wanted with? Have you ever felt the Lord’s guidance after you’ve asked for His help?

  Once Kathleen reads the manuscript and realizes how wrong she was, how do you think she felt? Whose forgiveness and help did she ask for first? And did the Lord answer her prayer?

  We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Love Inspired Historical title.

  You find illumination in days gone by. Love Inspired Historical stories lift the spirit as heroines tackle the challenges of life in another era with hope, faith and a focus on family.

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  Chapter One

  June 1841

  Pinewood Village, New York

  Pinewood. Sadie crowded back into the corner and tugged her bonnet forward as her hired carriage rolled through the village. The news of her return would spread like a brush fire if she was recognized. Sadie Spencer is back. Sadie Spencer is home.

  Her stomach quivered. In two weeks it would be four years since the incident. Memories surged. She closed her mind to the bad ones—or tried to. Perhaps returning to Pinewood would exorcise them—and the fear. How she wished she could live without that fear! Please, Almighty God, grant that it might be so. She took a breath to calm her stomach and pulled the small purse dangling from her wrist into her trembling hands.

  The driver’s polite touch of his hat brim sent her pushing deeper into the corner where she would not be seen by two women standing at the edge of the road waiting to cross. A wagon passed by loaded with baled shingles and traveling in the other direction. She released her pent-up breath and lifted her head.

  The horse’s hoofs clattered against planks and the carriage lurched as the wheels climbed onto the wood. Stony Creek Bridge. A smile trembled on her lips. How many hours had she, Callie, Willa and Ellen spent in the cool shadow beneath its span trying to best Daniel at sk
ipping stones on the water?

  The carriage rocked off the bridge, swaying left onto Brook Street. A snap of the reins urged the horse to greater speed and her smile died. It wouldn’t be long now.

  Her chest tightened with longing to be back behind the brick walls of the young ladies’ seminary in Rochester. She’d not been outside those walls since she’d fled there four years before, and if not for her grandparents’ need, she would be in that safe haven still. She would never have willingly returned to Pinewood. Never.

  The carriage tilted, slowed as the horse started up the incline outside of the village. She slipped back to the center of the seat and caught her breath at the sight of the forested hills on either side of the dirt road. Only one more turn to make when they reached the top of the hill.

  She dug her fingernails into her palms, struggling against a surge of dread. When she’d received Callie’s letter, she’d told herself it would be all right, that she would care for Nanna and Poppa in the safety of the Sheffield House, but that was not to be. Her grandparents had left Sophia’s hotel and returned home to Butternut Hill.

  She had to go back there.

  Oh, Lord, give me strength.

  * * *

  “Your grandfolks are in the garden. I’ll take these up to your room.” The housekeeper picked up her bags and looked at her. “It’s good you’re home, Miss Sadie.”

  The underlying sadness in Gertrude’s voice constricted her throat, making speech impossible. She nodded, removed her bonnet and walked down the entrance hall and into the dining room. The window framed her grandparents seated on the wooden garden bench, the stockade fence and the wooded path beyond. Love swelled her heart, blocking out the fear. She pushed open the door, ran across the porch and rushed down the steps. “Nanna! Poppa!” Their gray heads turned her direction. They stared. Her feet took wings.

  “Sadie!”

  She leaned down and hugged her grandmother, reveling in the feel of the soft arms holding her close, the small pudgy hands patting her, offering comfort as she sobbed out the long years of loneliness against the shoulder that had so often been washed by her tears as a child.