Complicated

by Kristen Ashley

  “No. Totally. It’s all cool.”

  It was then I grinned at him.

  He grinned back and muttered, “Gonna go call Wendy. Be back,” and with that, he rounded the corner beyond the kitchen and disappeared.

  I threw back the pills then walked my phone and mug around the dining room table to stand at the big window that faced out to Hix’s stairs to stand in the sun while I called Lou.

  I took a sip of coffee, noting that it was good the owners of the apartment complex planted those trees because now that they were tall enough, they kinda hid how ugly the units were.

  But I froze while doing that when I saw my Cherokee was now parked next to the silver car.

  While I stared at it, it hit me that Sheriff Drake must have deduced I’d dropped my keys where I’d fallen on the stairs. He found them and he moved my car from its place butting the trees and parked crazily to the space closer to his apartment.

  It was just a few feet closer.

  But it was closer.

  It probably didn’t need to be moved.

  But he’d moved it.

  And this told me that Hixon Drake wanted the people he cared about to have the premier parking spots (such as they were, but still).

  He also wanted comfortable furniture his kids could lounge on, even in a cramped, not-very-attractive apartment. Good mattresses for his daughters to sleep on. Washcloths in colors they liked. Fluffy rugs in front of the bathroom sink.

  His life had imploded and it had taken his kids right along with it.

  But he bought fluffy rugs for them to stand on when they brushed their teeth, and pink towels for his girls, stocked his first-aid shelf with anything they might need and let his daughter shove all her girl stuff in the remaining space.

  I knew something about living the life you thought you’d be living for the rest of it, the life you wanted to be living, having that end and having to start from scratch, and I’d only had Andy to look after.

  Not three growing kids.

  I thought about Corinne finding out about us, Hix learning his son was done with his mother, knowing he had to find a way to do the right thing about their deteriorating relationship, even not having the desire to do that, these at the same time investigating a murder. All this happening while needing to build something stable for his children and rebuild his own life with the additional complication of meeting a woman he connected with in a way that couldn’t be ignored but had to have been confusing.

  None of this made Hix treating me the way he did okay.

  But being in that apartment. Seeing my car where it was. Standing by a nice dining room table that Hix probably couldn’t afford but he bought because he likely didn’t want to spend a lot of money getting a place that cost a fortune that he thought he wouldn’t be staying in long, but his kids would have to be there however long it took, and he was going to make it as nice as possible. And knowing all the rest . . .

  It made me understand why he lost it.

  I dropped my head to my phone, called Lou and put it to my ear.

  “Yo, girlfriend,” she answered. “What’s up?”

  “I need to tell you something and say first, I’m okay, totally okay, so when I tell you, I don’t want you to freak out.”

  “Oh shit,” she muttered.

  I decided just to lay it out and brace for any fallout, so I launched right in, telling her about the night before, doing it with my eyes to my car and forgetting the fact she was a mother, a business owner and Bill’s wife so, even if the news was extreme, she wasn’t a freaking-out kind of chick.

  Thus, when I was done talking, all she did was ask, “Oh God, babe, are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I’ve learned a broken nose feels a lot worse than a black eye but I just took some pills and I’ll be all right.”

  “Do you need me to cancel your clients tomorrow?”

  I shook my head regardless she couldn’t see it. “No. I think I’ll be okay to go in. I have to go to the hospital in the afternoon to have the dressing changed, but I’ll call those clients and switch them around.”

  “And you say Hixon got the guy?”

  “Yeah, they caught him.”

  “Good,” she murmured, then, “And you’re there? With him? And his kids?”

  It was casual, the way she asked it.

  But I could tell it was a forced casual.

  She was worried. Hix wasn’t in her good graces. But she knew now was not the time to lecture me.

  That didn’t mean she didn’t want to know where I was at.

  “He leaped down the stairs,” I whispered, glancing to the corner where Shaw had disappeared.

  “What?”

  “He heard me fall on his stairs when I was trying to get to him. He opened the door. Took one look at me. And, Lou, he leaped down the stairs to get to me. In his pajamas. And bare feet.”

  “Yowza,” she breathed.

  She was right.

  That had been a yowza.

  “The kids have been great,” I said quietly. “Shaw is like his dad. A lot like him. Very protective. Very sweet. Mamie’s cute and funny. Corinne is . . . well, I think she’s struggling. She seems awkward sometimes, maybe hiding confusion behind being snippy sometimes, and sometimes shy, but mostly underneath it all she’s being sweet too.”

  “Well, not the way most would pick to meet the kids of the new man in your life but at least you had something to focus on rather than sitting at dinner and making small talk,” she remarked.

  I laughed softly. “I guess you could look at it like that.”

  “And he’s your new man isn’t he? This is the universe’s dramatic way to make that so,” she noted, now sounding forced noncommittal.

  She so wanted to lecture me.

  “He leaped down the stairs, Lou,” I reminded her.

  “Yeah. Hixon Drake leaped down stairs in pajamas and bare feet to get to me, I’d get over him taking out some serious life frustrations on me by being a huge dick too.”

  I let out a breath.

  No, she wasn’t going to lecture me.

  At least not now.

  “You want me and the girls to go get Andy?” she offered and I grew still. “Take him out and do something with him today?”

  Oh my God.

  I hadn’t thought of Andy.

  I never missed our Sundays. Not since we’d moved to Nebraska. And before that, Keith and I never missed them except for me, once, when I’d had the flu. But back then, I’d had Keith, and so did Andy, so he’d gone to see him.

  Not to mention, we’d only taken two vacations without Andy the whole time we were married. We might do long weekends so we weren’t away from him for too long. But if we took time off and did it going out of town, we usually took Andy with us.

  “I can’t . . . he can’t see me like this, Lou,” I pointed out the obvious.

  “I know, babe. So me and the girls’ll go out there, get him, take him somewhere and have loads of fun, and it won’t be the same as a visit from his big sis but he won’t feel like he’s missing out too much.”

  “I can’t ask you to—”

  “Girlfriend, Bill went out and tied one on last night. He’s still sleeping. I’ve asked him two hundred times to fix the leaky faucet in our bathroom and fifty times to drag out the fall decorations and I know today will not be the day either of those will get done. If he wakes up when I’m here, the first thing I’m gonna do is punch him in the sternum. And Andy’s da bomb. The girls will love it. Much more than their mother punching their father in the sternum.”

  “That’s probably true.”

  “It’s totally true,” she returned. “So call Andy. Tell him to expect us in an hour or so. And don’t worry, we’ll take good care of him.”

  She said this last while I watched the Bronco swing into the non-spot of grass next to my Cherokee, but Hixon did it without running into the tree.

  “I’ll call Andy,” I replied. “And I’ll send you an over-the-phone hug for being
so awesome.”

  I spoke while watching Hixon climb out, the girls climb out, but it was Hix who took the two bakery boxes from Corinne after he rounded the back of the Bronco.

  Apparently, people he cared about didn’t even carry donuts.

  Also apparently, they didn’t want for donuts.

  Two boxes?

  “Our pleasure, Greta. I’ll text later to let you know we got there and after that to let you know it’s all good.”

  “I love you, Lou,” I whispered, moving quickly to round the dining room table to put my coffee mug to the kitchen counter because the wood of the table was too nice to rest a hot mug of liquid on.

  “Love you too. Get some rest. Charm the pants off those kids. But don’t worry about that. Just be you and that’ll do it.”

  “Shut up,” I ordered before she made me start to cry.

  “You shut up.”

  “Whatever. Later, babe.”

  “Later, Greta.”

  We hung up as I turned the corner and saw Shaw coming out of his room.

  I had to get back to Hixon’s room because I had to talk to Andy, and I didn’t want to do it with an audience or with noise in the background that might confuse my brother.

  “Hey,” I said quickly to Shaw. “Your dad and the girls are back and I have to call my brother. I usually visit him on Sundays and I can’t today because, well . . .” I lifted a hand and pointed to my face. “It might freak him out.”

  “Visit him?” Shaw asked.

  In my haste to get to Hix’s bedroom, it hadn’t occurred to me that Shaw didn’t know about Andy.

  “I gotta call him,” was all I had time to say. “I’ll explain after, okay?”

  He nodded.

  I scooted by him as the door opened and Mamie called, “We’re here with donuts!”

  I kept going, head to my phone as I found Sunnydown’s number in my contact list. I hit it as I closed the door to Hixon’s room behind me. And I did this wishing that Andy didn’t lose and misplace cell phones all the time, doing this causing him to feel like crap he wasted money and sometimes get angry or upset, meaning we’d come to the decision he shouldn’t have one and I had to call Sunnydown and go through that rigmarole to talk to my brother.

  I went to the bed and sat on the end of it as I asked to speak to Andy.

  The noises were muted behind the door, thankfully, when he came on.

  “Hey, Ta-Ta.”

  “Hey, buddy. Listen,” I went right into it. “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, Lou and the girls are gonna be there in around an hour to take you out for a day of fun. The bad news is that I’m not feeling really good so I can’t come too.”

  “Not feeling good?” he asked.

  “No, darlin’. I’m so sorry. You know Sundays are the best days of the week because I get to spend them with you, but I just can’t today. But I’ll be there Thursday, like always. And I’ll call every night, like always too.”

  And maybe by Thursday the swelling and bruising will have gone down so I didn’t look so scary and I’d be able to come up with a story that wouldn’t freak Andy out.

  “Okay, Ta-Ta. And it’s football time.”

  I stared at the carpet of the floor in front of me at his words but lifted my head when I heard the bedroom door open.

  Hix walked in, his eyes to me, and I saw from a lot closer what I’d seen from the window in his dining area that Sundays were faded jeans, boots and cream thermals that fit tight at his chest and biceps days.

  However, I couldn’t appreciate that like I would normally do.

  “Yeah, buddy, it’s football time,” I said to my brother quietly.

  Hix closed the door behind him while Andy replied, “Can we go to a game?”

  These were the times I had to tread cautiously.

  Either he wanted to go to another one.

  Or he forgot he’d already been to one.

  If it was the second, and I reminded him, he might get frustrated and that could be bad, especially with Lou and the girls heading out to see him.

  “Uh . . . a Glossop Raiders game?” I asked the floor where I’d again aimed my eyes.

  “Yeah, that’d be cool!” he exclaimed.

  He’d forgotten.

  My head dropped so now I was looking at my lap.

  Hix sat beside me on the bed.

  “I’ll have to talk to Gemini,” I told him. “I work Fridays, Andy.”

  And I’d already asked for a weekend off. Gemini would arrange another one for me if I explained or if I didn’t, he knew Andy had these problems, but I couldn’t do it frequently.

  There was an act coming in but that was weeks away and it might not be during a home game.

  “Yeah, I know,” Andy said.

  “And, well, he’ll have to let me take a Friday off.”

  Hixon’s hand took mine and then he did something strange.

  Strange and tender and fascinating and wonderful and amazing.

  He rested the back of my hand on my thigh, put the heel of his palm to mine and stroked the insides of my fingers with his fingertips in a sweet, soothing way.

  I liked every way he touched me physically, and it might make me crazy, but I liked that way the best.

  “Yeah, I know,” Andy repeated.

  Staring at Hix touching my fingers, I replied, “I’ll talk to him, darlin’, and we’ll see.”

  “Okay, Ta-Ta. Gemini’ll say yes. He always says yes. And it’ll be great. We can ask Lou to come and the girls too.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed because I knew it was great because it already had been.

  I also made a mental note to text Lou and tell her to tell the girls not to mention the game.

  “Feel better,” he said. “So you can come on Thursday.”

  “I will for sure, buddy. Have fun with Lou and the girls, yeah?”

  “For sure, Ta-Ta. ’Bye.”

  “’Bye, baby bro.”

  He hung up.

  I dropped the phone to my other thigh and stared at Hix and my hands.

  Topper: he had beautiful hands.

  “What was that?” Hix asked.

  I looked up at him to see him staring down at me.

  “Andy wants to go to a Raiders game.”

  He nodded. “Okay.”

  “He’s been to a Raiders game.”

  It came more cautious this time. “Okay.”

  “He forgot he’s been,” I whispered.

  “Shit,” he whispered back and he stopped touching my hand so he could wrap his arm around me and pull me into his side.

  I liked the hand touch but being tucked close to his warm, strong body didn’t stink.

  I dropped my head on his shoulder.

  “Should be used to it when he forgets,” I muttered. “I just sometimes . . . last night and everything . . . it took me by surprise.”

  “Yeah.”

  “At least he didn’t get upset that I couldn’t come today. Sundays are our days.”

  “Sundays,” he murmured strangely, like he’d just figured something out.

  “Yeah, Sundays,” I confirmed because I didn’t know what else to say.

  “Least it’s good he didn’t get upset,” he kept murmuring.

  “I’m not sure what I’m gonna tell him when he sees my nose this way.”

  “We’ll come up with something.”

  I nodded, my head moving on his shoulder.

  “Greta?” he called.

  “Yeah,” I answered.

  “Baby, you’re sittin’ next to me on the edge of my bed, head on my shoulder, wearin’ my daughter’s clothes, and I know last night that shit was extreme but—”

  I knew where he was going with this so I interrupted him on a soft, almost-not-there, “I’m unblocking you, Hixon.”

  I felt his body go rigid, the pads of his fingers digging into my flesh at my hip before he relaxed and murmured a deeper than normal, “Good.”

  I liked that deeper than normal and what it m
eant.

  I liked it a whole lot.

  He cleared his throat and asked, “Are you good hanging with us for Junk Sunday?”

  I tipped my head back with it still on his shoulder and he dipped his chin and twisted his neck in a way that had to be uncomfortable but he still did it in order to look in my eyes.

  “What are Junk Sundays?” I asked.

  “They start with the TV on and donuts, sweetheart, and healthy-living-wise, it goes south from there.”

  Okay.

  Here it was.

  All right.

  This was it.

  It was time to make it official.

  It was time to complicate things.

  “That sounds awesome,” I whispered.

  Something came up from deep in his eyes, it was warm, it was beautiful, then he dipped in and touched his mouth to mine.

  He pulled away a breath and said, “One bad part, Hal’s comin’ over soon to take your statement. Once we get that done, you just get to relax and eat and hang with me and my kids. No pressure. No one to impress.”

  “Uh, Hix, I think I need to impress your kids.”

  “Then just be you.”

  Okay.

  Crap.

  That was unbelievably sweet.

  I pushed through that before I ignored my broken nose and his kids down the hall and let what he said and the thermal he was wearing overwhelm me, and I jumped him.

  “Is Corinne okay with, well . . . having this show up on her doorstep in the middle of the night causing a huge drama?” I asked.

  He turned his head but did it to tip it so he could rest it against the top of mine (also sweet) before he replied, “My daughter isn’t stupid and she loves her dad. I think the situation is coming clearer to her. Helps that Shaw’s bein’ how Shaw’s bein’ and Mamie too. Can’t say in the last few weeks that she’s come around. She’s been chilly. But she’s a good girl. She knows better than not to be at least polite. Sayin’ that, she’ll get where she needs to be.”

  “I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

  He gave me a squeeze. “Baby, she gave you her clothes. It was her idea. I grabbed your dress and coat because I didn’t want you to see them when you woke up in case they brought up bad shit for you. And when I said I had your keys and would stop by your place on the way to get donuts to get you something, she said you could wear something of hers. I don’t know for certain, bein’ a guy, but my take for a teenage girl, letting someone borrow her stuff is a big thing. So she’s already getting there.” His arm gave me another squeeze. “So don’t worry.”