Razor's Edge

by Lisanne Norman

  “Tell me, Khartu, have you attended an orientation session at the shrine since you arrived?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “On this estate, we do things somewhat differently. All newcomers need to be told what our rules and regulations are. They have to fit into our community.” She waited a moment to let this sink in. “We do not conform to outsiders’ ideas. How Mara will be treated is a matter for her physician, not for you. To my mind, it is utterly ridiculous for a female as young as Mara to be Leska-linked to a male as old as your brother! But that can’t be helped. He’s going to need a great deal of counseling to help him adjust, too.” She turned and began to walk toward the door, then stopped.

  “See the rest of Mara’s belongings are sent to the villa, Khartu Rakula. You’ll be pleased to know she will not be returning to this house. Good day.”

  Dzaka had to run to catch up with her. “Liegena …”

  “Get Zhala to set up one of the guest rooms for Mara until we’ve found her a den mother,” she said. “If only someone had told me something of what was going on! Never let this happen again, Dzaka,” she said rounding on him. “No matter what Kusac says, tell me!”

  “Yes, Liegena, but you have to realize we were all afraid that …”

  “What?” she demanded, continuing down the snow cleared main street to the villa.

  “That because of what had happened to you, her fear of having a Sholan cub would …”

  “Would what, Dzaka?” She was losing patience with him now.

  “That you’d become afraid of your own cub again.”

  She stopped dead and looked up at him in surprise. “You thought I’d be afraid of carrying my cub?” She reached out from the folds of her cloak to tweak his ear. “Never! Not this or any other cub, Dzaka. I know who and what I am now.”

  “What’s that?”

  “En’Shalla, Dzaka. The first En’Shalla Human,” she said, taking him by the arm.

  When Carrie returned home, she checked out the data files with Kusac. There was only one likely candidate and it was with little expectation of success that she contacted the woman, inviting her out to the villa the next day for an interview. Her fears, however, proved to be unfounded.

  Ruth could have been the archetypal Mother. Of medium height, her figure could best be described as Junoesque. Wavy fair hair with ginger highlights reached midway down her back. Green eyes sparkled with amusement and interest as she glanced around the den. Arranging her long winter Sholan robes around herself, she sat down in one of the easy chairs.

  “Coffee?” Carrie asked.

  “That would be nice,” said Ruth, looking curiously at the brightly patterned rugs and wall hangings. “Is this Sholan decoration? Or do I detect an Earth influence?”

  “Sholan—southern Sholan,” Carrie said, handing her a mug. “There are apparently similarities, though. Being Keissian I wouldn’t know.”

  Ruth accepted the mug. “Of course. I’d forgotten you were one of the original colonists. Be surprising if there weren’t similarities considering how well our species get on together. Your young male, Dzaka, wasn’t very forthcoming about the nature of this meeting. He was almost as mysterious as you were yesterday! How about explaining the situation?”

  “We have a young girl here, Mara Ryan, with a Sholan Leska,” began Carrie.

  “Everyone at the Guild knows about Mara! What about the rest? What’s the real problem with Mara?”

  Carrie felt herself beginning to warm to the woman. “As I see it, it’s twofold. First, she’s not much more than a child herself. From what I can gather, her family were more than happy to see the back of her because of her Sholan Leska.” She stopped to take a sip of her coffee and collect her thoughts. “Secondly, everyone around her has been expecting her to fit into Sholan culture as easily as if she’d been born to it.”

  “Because you did.”

  Carrie tilted her head to one side in a uniquely Sholan gesture of embarrassed agreement. “I was the first. They judged her by me, and I wasn’t aware of what was happening then. Because of my injuries after the Challenge, no one wanted to involve me in her troubles.” She sighed, picking up a spoon and stirring her coffee several times. “Also, at that time, I was the only Human on the estate. Now Mara’s pregnant, and her cub will look as Sholan as mine and Vanna’s. Yesterday she tried to commit suicide.”

  Ruth made a noise of sympathy. “Was she badly hurt?”

  “Thankfully, no, and the cub’s all right, too, but she still wants to abort.”

  “What’s the Sholan view? And yours, come to that.”

  “The Sholan attitude is colored by the fact that their females only become pregnant when they want to. To do so outside a contract with a partner, or your Leska, carries heavy social penalties. As for me, I can’t afford to let my prejudices affect Mara.” She smiled gently. “I’ve too newly become a mother. This is a Sholan estate, though, not Human, so Sholan attitudes tend to prevail.”

  “So what you want is to create a halfway house for Mara, a predominantly Human environment in which she can finish growing up,” said Ruth thoughtfully.

  “One without a male influence,” added Carrie. “I want nothing to remind her of her life with Zhyaf.”

  “I do have a daughter,” began Ruth.

  “No problem. A younger girl she can show round the estate could be good for her. Provided you do realize that relationships—physical relationships—between Humans and Sholans are the norm and you don’t mind your daughter growing up in our kind of environment.”

  “It’s healthier than the one at the Guild,” Ruth said frankly. “There’s been no real effort to integrate us into the mainstream classes. A two-tier guild is already established with only the Humans needed in an official capacity getting adequate training. You know, the more I think about it, the more halfway houses—not only on this estate but elsewhere—seem like a good idea.”

  Ruth drained her mug and put it back on the low table in front of her. “She can’t be the only young woman on Shola with cultural identity problems, and with more mixed Leska pairings happening, the problem is going to grow. Yes, I’d love to be involved.”

  “We’re only concerned with those on our estate at the moment,” said Carrie. “We occupy a unique position on Shola, an En’Shalla Clan, owing allegiance only to each other and the Head Priest of Vartra. Believe me, that’s going to be a large enough responsibility for all of us.” She leaned forward to refill her mug, gesturing to Ruth’s at the same time. “I’m looking for someone to run our project, someone to be our den mother and set up pastoral care for those not living with her. Are you interested?” Her instincts were usually right, and they were telling her Ruth was the person she needed.

  “No disrespect intended, but before I commit myself to something of this size, I’d like to know your chain of command. To whom would I be answerable?”

  That was good, Carrie thought. Ruth’s already looking at the consequences of her decision. “We’d have an advisory group until it was up and running. After that, you should be pretty well autonomous. There’s Jack Reynolds, our physician, myself and my life-mate, Kusac, of course, and Clan Leader Rhyasha up at the Aldatan estate.”

  “What about the Telepath Guild? What’s their involvement?”

  “None. We have established friendly relations with them, and an exchange of medical and telepathic data, but that’s all.”

  Ruth nodded, obviously satisfied. “And my position? If I leave the Telepath Guild to come here, I’ll need some security. I have my daughter to think of as well as myself.”

  “Once we know the project is working under your management, then, should you wish it, you’ll become members of our clan. We can’t do it before then because to accept someone into our clan is a serious matter for us. It involves a perpetual responsibility, and our clan is, as I’ve said, unique.”

  “Then I’ve only one more question. When do I move in?”

  Carrie grinned. “Whenever
you wish. We’ve a house ready for you—one of those large enough to accommodate a Sholan extended family.” She paused. “There’s just one other point. Would you mind keeping an eye on a nine-year-old kitling called Daira? It would only be during the days. He’s an orphan and my bond-mother thought that having a young Sholan male around would be more balanced than putting her in a totally Human environment. He’s about the same age as your daughter, isn’t he?”

  Ruth thought about it for a moment. “A couple of years younger. I’ll give it a try, but if it doesn’t work out …”

  “Then we’ll abandon the idea. Now, would you like to see your new home today?”

  Leaving Ruth in the capable hands of Rulla, Carrie went to visit Mara. She found her weepy and depressed.

  “Would you like to come and stay with us for a few days?” asked Carrie. “Unless you want to, there’s no reason for you to live with Zhyaf, you know.”

  Mara blotted her eyes on the soggy tissue and looked at her hopefully. “I don’t have to go back?”

  “Not unless you want to. Do you?”

  She shook her head. “Have you met his sister?” she asked tentatively.

  “That one? Gods, what a dragon!”

  Mara began to smile. “She is, isn’t she?”

  Carrie leaned forward conspiratorially. “How on earth did you stand her? I’d have been out of there like a shot, I’ll tell you!”

  That started her giggling, then her face crumpled again and the tissue went back up to her eyes.

  Carrie leaned forward and took it away from her, throwing it in the bin nearby and handing her a pile of fresh ones.

  “But I’d nowhere to go,” she sobbed. “I had to stay there!”

  Taking Mara in her arms, Carrie hugged her close. “You have now. That silly mate of mine didn’t let me know you were having problems. They all thought you should try and be Sholan, not stay Human. All that’s going to change, Mara, I promise you. I’ve arranged for you to stay in the village with a woman called Ruth Brown.”

  Mara sat up, her sobs getting farther and farther apart as she looked at Carrie. “What’s she like?”

  “She laughs a lot, and she’s got a daughter called Mandy who’s twelve years old.”

  “I’d live in another house?”

  “Yes, a new house. It’ll take a bit of time for Ruth to get it the way she wants, but I’m sure you’d be glad to help her. She’s grateful for the chance to leave the Telepath Guild and move out here onto the estate. She’s also agreed to help us out by looking after a young Sholan orphan called Daira. His talent is more like ours, so he needs a home here. She could do with someone to help her, and I thought you’d be just the person.”

  “You want me to help her?”

  “Why not? You can take Daira to the Warrior training sessions—and join in if you want to.”

  “But I’m pregnant!”

  “I fought a Challenge when I was four months pregnant,” Carrie reminded her quietly. “And before you say I lost my cub, it wasn’t fighting that caused that, it was getting wounded. You’d only be training.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes again, spilling down over her cheeks. “You don’t understand!”

  “What don’t I understand?”

  “This child, it isn’t human! Vanna showed me on the scanner yesterday!”

  “I know it isn’t, Mara. Our Links have changed us, you were told that. Our children will never be totally Human,” she said gently.

  “But it should be! It isn’t Zhyaf’s child! Its father is Human like me!” she wailed.

  “What?” Carrie sat frozen. “What did you say?”

  “The child isn’t Zhyaf’s! It should be Human!”

  “My God.” She was stunned, didn’t know what to say. That a child conceived by two Human Leska partners would still be Sholan had never occurred to her.

  “Zhyaf doesn’t know yet!”

  “I think you should assume he does,” she said automatically. “It makes sense, though, Mara. We’re not less than Human now, we’re something more.”

  “I don’t want the baby! I only got pregnant so that I wouldn’t have a Sholan cub!” she wept, flinging herself back on the bed as her body shook convulsively.

  “Vanna says you’re only a few weeks pregnant, Mara.” Carrie tried to sound as sympathetic as she could. “You’ve plenty of time to decide what to do. Wouldn’t you rather just have the cub? You don’t need to look after it. Clan members are fully entitled to have their cubs and leave them in the estate nursery to be brought up. A cub is a blessing to the whole Clan, and Vartra knows, we need all we can bear if our children are to have a choice of mates when they’re older.”

  “Khartu said I would have to bring it up myself.”

  “Well, she was wrong,” said Carrie firmly. “That might be the way up north, but not here. There’s another option, too. Most mothers usually leave their children in the nursery during the day and take them home at night and on their days off. The choice is yours.”

  “I don’t want it,” she wailed, clutching her damp pillow.

  “That’s not something I can help you with,” Carrie said gently, reaching out to stroke her hair. “Leave it for now. Let yourself get over this first. Meet Ruth and settle into your new home. Things may look different then.”

  “What about my Link days?” Despite herself, Mara was becoming a little calmer. The prospect of a new life was attractive.

  “You’ll have your own room. You can get Zhyaf to come to you rather than go back to that mausoleum of his,” she said candidly.

  “I can?”

  “Of course! Ruth’s a telepath. She knows what we are here, and the fact that she’s happy to foster a Sholan cub shows she understands both our cultures. You’ll find her very different from Zhyaf and Khartu, believe me!”

  “When will they let me out?”

  “In a day or two, depending when your next Link day is.”

  “Not for three days yet,” she sniffed, dabbing her nose with the tissue and sitting up.

  “Then Zhyaf can come to the villa,” said Carrie getting up. “It’s going to take at least that long for Ruth to move in and begin to get things straight. I have to go now,” she said. “Kashini needs feeding, and I can feel her calling for me.”

  “How could you? How could you have a baby that looks so alien?”

  Carrie frowned. “She looks nothing of the kind! She looks like both of us, part Human, part Sholan.” Her face softened into a smile. “And wholly lovely! You’ll find out for yourself when you come to stay. Now stop worrying and get some rest, then you’ll be out of here all the sooner.”

  As Hanaz handed out the drinks to the guests, Governor Nesul returned to his seat.

  “I called this informal meeting because I know we all share the same view of Guild Master Esken,” he said. “And I think I’ve found a way to slow him down; we’re all aware how busy it is at this time of year, but my office has been approached on several occasions over the last few days with complaints and petitions concerning that worthy male. I’m afraid, my colleagues,” he glanced round the little assembly, “we can ignore it no longer.”

  “What are the nature of the complaints?” asked Lijou. “I presume they involve our various disciplines.” He gestured toward Konis, Rhyasha, Kusac, and General Raiban.

  “They do, but before I go into that, I’d prefer to have an update from each of you on the state of your current relations with the Telepath Guild. Father Lijou, would you start, please?”

  “Were you aware Senior Tutor Sorli is on retreat with us at present? He’s given me no reason, but has been helping us organize our college for training priests.”

  “I wasn’t. That is interesting,” said Nesul thoughtfully. “Tell me, what response are you getting from the various temples?”

  “Mixed. Esken’s influence extends beyond our own continent, I’m afraid. Fully half of the temples in the Western Isles and Nalgalan have replied that without orders from Esken they c
annot accept our invitation to send their acolytes to us for instruction. The same, unfortunately, is true here.”

  “They need to be a guild, Nesul,” said Raiban, raising her glass to her lips. “We need them free of Esken. Once the Priesthood is a guild, they’ll flock to join it, you mark my words. Now we all know what the situation is, so for Vartra’s sake, stop quartering the same scent and get on with why you called us out here tonight!”

  “If you’ll bear with me, Raiban,” said Nesul calmly, “you’ll see what I’m getting at. I don’t think we’re all aware of just how bad the situation is. What about you? How are you getting on with Esken?”

  Raiban gave a snort of disgust, replacing her glass on the table forcefully. “Underfoot, more often than not. Insisting that if a mixed Leska pair is involved in the questioning of anyone, then a Telepath Guild member should be appointed too! His damned people are everywhere! And they’re still turning up at ruins claiming that they must be blessed.” She silenced their outraged murmurs with a wave of her hand. “Oh, they don’t have access to explosives any more, they just want to mumble prayers, but that’s not the point. They are prohibited from approaching the excavation sites and Esken knows it. All they’re doing is continuing to make a damned nuisance of themselves, refusing to accept they’re no longer involved.”

  Nesul nodded and looked over to Rhyasha Aldatan. “How about the Terrans at the Telepath Guild?”

  Rhyasha flicked her ears in a shrug. “He hasn’t begun to integrate them into the mainstream of Guild education. They’re still working mainly from their own quarters with visiting teachers. They’re being taught at the same pace as the Sholan students, which means it will take them something like fifteen years to graduate! If the student is dedicated, and very Talented, he or she can get access to advanced tuition because not all Esken’s tutors agree with his methods. However, the whole situation is most unsatisfactory.”