Scarred Beginnings (Scarred Series Book 2)

by Jackie Williams

  Ellen held back a shudder at the thought of what he had been through and walked proudly along the high street beside him as they both ignored the stares some people gave them.

  They reached the wine bar and David waited as she held the door open.

  Their first problem arose as David wheeled himself towards the bar. It was obvious that his chair was far too low and the bar far too high. He couldn’t even see if there was anyone behind it to assist them. He sighed as Ellen moved forwards and confirmed their reservation.

  Their second difficulty arrived in the shape of an over attentive waiter. Over attentive to Ellen. He spoke to her as though David barely existed, as though he sat behind a glass screen, seen but unhearing and unheard.

  “Would the gentleman be more comfortable at the back of the restaurant? There’s slightly more space and there’s a table right beside the toilets.”

  Ellen looked pointedly at David and David answered the man.

  “No, the gentleman would not like to sit by the loo while he eats his lunch. He’s fine here near the window.”

  The waiter raised his eyebrows and spoke to Ellen again.

  “We can arrange for any of the dishes on the menu to be…er altered to suit, I mean mashed or pureed if need be.”

  Even Ellen looked surprised at that remark. She looked at David again

  David answered once more, this time there was a slight hiss to his tone.

  “That won’t be necessary, thank you. Rather amazingly my teeth are just fine.” He snapped them together and they made a satisfyingly loud clack.

  The waiter pursed his lips and spoke to Ellen yet again.

  “I’ll bring you a straw for his drink too.”

  Was this guy for real? David actually laughed aloud this time and didn’t wait for Ellen to look at him.

  “Put a pink paper umbrella and a slice of pineapple in it at the same time will you.”

  Ellen giggled behind her hand but the waiter looked slightly shocked. He spoke icily.

  “I was only trying to help.” At least he aimed his words at David directly this time but David was past appreciation.

  “Yes, well I have had all the help I can take for today. A beer and a steak pie with chips for me and a bottle of champagne and the club sandwich for my sister would be lovely thanks, oh and a side of onion rings too thanks…We’ll call you over if we need anything else.”

  Ellen nodded in agreement of the order as the waiter couldn’t help but look to her for confirmation.

  “Two glasses with the champagne?” he enquired haughtily of Ellen.

  David shook his head.

  “Just one thanks, I’m having beer. We’ll take the rest of the bottle with us if we don’t drink it.” He shook his head in wonder as the man walked back to the bar. “What is it with some people? Do I look as though I am stupid or have gone completely ga ga? I tell you Ellen, I can’t stand much more of this. I want to make that appointment to see the prosthetics guy as soon as we get home. Everyone seems to think my brains were housed in my bloody kneecaps!”

  Ellen agreed with him.

  “I had no idea how much this kind of thing affected people. They’re not being unkind as such, but it’s grating in the extreme. I wonder if this happens to everyone in your position? To be honest it helps me with my decision. I know that I’m doing the right thing now.” She stopped speaking as the waiter returned with their drinks. Fortunately he hadn’t bothered with either the straw or David’s other more colourful suggestions.

  David reached for his beer and stared at it appreciatively. He gazed at the dewy condense rolling slowly down the side of the glass and then took a long sniff at the frothy white head. He licked his lips before he took a tiny sip.

  “Ahhh! That tastes like a slice of heaven,” his satisfaction was palpable as he smacked his lips. He took a longer swallow and then put his glass back on the table. If he was only having one pint he certainly wasn’t going to glug it. He wanted to have his legs fitted as soon as practically possible and couldn’t bear the thought of any delay caused by his own stupidity. He looked up at Ellen. “So what did you decide?”

  Ellen smiled as she bent to her handbag and pulled out some papers.

  “I’ve been dying to show you,” she spoke excitedly as she spread them on the table.

  David turned them to face him and peered down at the photographs, stunned beyond belief.

  “Wow, they’re impressive! Well, I wasn’t expecting anywhere nearly as spectacular as that. Where are these places?” He leafed through the papers with interest.

  Ellen looked smug.

  “France. We can’t afford anywhere big enough here in England even if we used all our money, but Brittany is only just across the Channel and there appear to be several suitable places there at less than a tenth of the cost. Property prices are nowhere near as expensive as here. Something to do with their tax laws if you try to sell and make a profit. I’ll need to look into it further but I think it would be more of a holiday if people have to travel a bit. There are good connections to the ferry ports and unlike here the actual places are big enough for adaptions for disabilities. I’m going to make some appointments as soon as you are back on your feet, so to speak.”

  David looked admiringly at his sister.

  “You don’t have to do this you know. However cheap these places are it’s going to take a big chunk out of your inheritance to put everything in place. I don’t want you to feel you have to do this because of me.”

  Ellen shrugged. When she had first seen the money on her bank balance she had screamed delightedly and ran about the house waving her statement in the air but now it meant next to nothing to her personally. Nearly losing her only brother had soon brought her back to her senses. She leaned over the table and touched his hand briefly.

  “I’m not doing it because of you but I might not have thought of it if you hadn’t been injured. This is going to be such a brilliant place.” She looked down at the pictures again and ran her finger across one of them. She lifted her chin and smiled at her brother. “What do I want all those millions for? I’ve stashed a fair bit away anyway, plenty to last me more than a lifetime. The rest I want to use for something worthwhile. Today’s experience has only made me more determined to make it come true.” She paused again and folded the papers away as her club sandwich and David’s pie arrived.

  David picked up his serviette and placed it across his lap.

  “You won’t be doing this on your own Ellen but I can’t help you just yet. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me or how my contract’s going to be affected. Officially I’m still employed by Her Majesty and I’ve another eighteen months left before I’m released from my contract. Moneywise I’m with you all the way, though realistically I’ll probably have to keep back a bit more than you as I don’t know exactly how much this is going to cost in the long run.” He picked up his fork and waved it in the general direction of his missing legs.

  Ellen blew on a hot onion ring.

  “I checked up on your compensation. That should be through soon and you’ll get a pension anyway but I don’t want you to feel you have to do this with me. You’ll probably want to stay here, find a wife and raise a family as soon as you leave the Army.” She popped the crisp, savoury batter into her mouth.

  David nearly choked on his mouthful of pie crust. He managed to stop the pastry spraying across the table with his snatched up napkin. His eyes watered as he forced himself not to cough and he waved Ellen back as she looked as though she was going to come around the table to slap him on his back. The last thing he wanted was the waiter rushing to take over and give him the Heimlich manoeuvre.

  He took another sip of beer before he spoke in a hissed whisper.

  “You have to be joking! Do you think any woman is ever going to look at me now Ellen? I didn’t rate my chances much before all this, now I don’t have a hope in hell. I’ll be lucky if I can pay a prostitute to…to, well you know what I mean. Jeez, Ellen.
I’m only half a man.” He tried to hold back the bitterness but it wasn’t easy. Most days he wished Steve had let him burn to death in that pit of hell.

  Ellen looked right back at him. She narrowed her eyes.

  “Don’t be so negative. You’re no different to before and you had plenty of girlfriends then. They won’t abandon you just because you have a few scars.”

  David stared at her disbelievingly. She was so supportive, her attitude so positive but he couldn’t agree with her on this. He knew that the mass of scars on his face looked terrible and even the thought of the red, shiny stumps that had once been his legs, would put off the most forgiving heart. He didn’t even want to hope that a woman could see past his deformities. It would never happen and he couldn’t face having his heart ripped from his body again by even thinking of what could have been. It had been bad enough when he discovered that his legs were gone.

  “Be realistic Ellen. Would you want a guy with only half a face and no legs? It’s a bit off-putting to say the least.” He hid his emotions behind his beer glass.

  Ellen shrugged dismissively.

  “I want a man not his legs. I don’t care at all that your legs have gone or that your face is just a bit different now, your heart is in the same place it always was. You are the same person you were before, maybe an even better one.”

  David shook his head and smiled gently at her. She had said it to him so many times during his recovery already, he knew that he would never be able to sway her opinion now. There wasn’t a bad bone in his sister’s body. Her loyalty was absolute and he certainly wasn’t going to argue the point on her birthday. He dug into his pocket and brought out a slim box wrapped in silver paper and tied with a bow. He pushed it across the table towards her.

  “Happy birthday Ellen. I’m really glad that I’m still here to give this to you. I had it made especially.”

  Ellen blinked over at him. She hadn’t realized that he meant an actual gift when he spoke of a birthday present for her. She had thought he might buy them their lunch and hadn’t expected anything at all as he’d been far too ill to buy a present himself. She picked up the box and turned it over curiously. It was small but unexpectedly heavy. She pulled the end of the ribbon. The bow slid undone and the wrapping uncurled. She lifted the lid of the box and gasped as white fire leapt out at her.

  The diamond encrusted bow sparkled in the light sending rainbows of colour shooting in all directions. She brushed her fingers across the top of the shimmering jewel.

  “Oh David! It’s beautiful, and an exact copy of the one I’m wearing. However did you manage to find one the same?”

  David leaned forwards. He reached out and pulled the bow shaped clip from her hair before he picked the one out of the box.

  “I commissioned it months ago, just after our money came through and before all this…this crap happened to me. I noticed the stones were falling out of your old one and as it’s just a cheap paste thing I decided to have a real one made for you. You’ve had that grotty old one for years, since I signed up and left home. It was my going away present to you if I remember rightly. But now I can afford something better I thought you could do with something a bit more up market. The diamonds are set in platinum and apparently they are all perfect blue whites. It was a devil getting the exact copy. The shops don’t stock them any longer and you never leave the old one off for long enough for me to photograph. I ended up taking a sneaky picture of you wearing it when I was last on leave and the jeweller managed to design it from that.”

  Ellen looked up at him as he caught the new clip into her hair. Tears sparkled in her eyes. They were nearly as bright as the diamonds.

  “The original is my most treasured possession. It was my link to you while you were on tour all those times. I’ll never throw it away but this new one is even more special now. Thanks David. It’s the perfect birthday gift.” She came around the table and kissed him on his scarred cheek.

  He picked up his beer and clinked her champagne glass in celebration, glad that she liked his surprise. It was as unique as she was herself.

  Chapter Four

  Dear God! He had no idea it would be so difficult. He puffed out before he took a calming breath in again and counted to ten as the physiotherapist beamed at his painful attempts.

  “This is agony. I’m being rubbed raw,” he moaned under his breath as he wobbled towards the chair.

  The man obviously heard him.

  “Let me take a look. We can nearly always do something about chaffing. You may need to wear another set of socks over your thighs. Sit down and rest for a moment while I take a look.” He waited while David sat and struggled with the cups on his thighs. He leaned forwards and showed David the clip he had missed. “There’s no time limit on learning how to use these things, you know. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Walking takes some practise. It’s much harder work than with your own legs because you’ve no muscle to help you and you have to make a conscious effort. You seem to have your balance now at any rate and seeing how fit you are, I bet you’ll be running around in no time.” He smiled encouragingly again and David resisted the urge to shout in frustration; the man was only trying to be positive.

  “It might help if I couldn’t feel my own feet still. It’s like I’m treading on hot needles all the time and it’s driving me mad. I keep thinking that I’m imagining all this and they’re going to suddenly actually appear again.” He inspected the metal below his thighs as if expecting it to turn into flesh and bone.

  Colin sympathized as he helped David remove the heavy, artificial limbs.

  “Phantom limb syndrome; it’s a fairly common occurrence. There are a couple of easy tricks that might help. The mirror thing isn’t going to work with you seeing that you’ve lost both limbs but you could try to imagine scrunching up your toes and releasing them a few times a day. Make sure you put ice packs around the injury sites every night before you go to bed too. If it carries on we’ll book you some appointments with a counsellor. She’ll have some other suggestions.” He wiped the inside of the leg cups and then rolled down David’s leg socks before examining his sore thighs. “Give it a go while I find you another set of socks. Wearing two pairs will reduce the friction.”

  David sat and rolled his eyes at the thought of scrunching toes that weren’t there but lacking any other brilliant ideas he gave it a try. He imagined curling his non existent feet, before he stretched them out and then tried it again. He looked up, slightly shocked as the pain disappeared for a few seconds. He carried on wriggling his imaginary toes then tried scrunching again and experienced the first pain free moments he’d had for months.

  “It can’t be that simple surely?” He asked when Colin returned with an extra pair of surgical socks.

  Colin laughed as he rolled the socks onto David’s thighs.

  “Blame your brain. It can’t help it apparently. It doesn’t recognize that your legs are no longer there. You know that the pain can’t be there because you can see that you have no limbs but your brain hasn’t yet accepted that fact so it feels as if your feet and legs are actually hurting. Don’t worry, no one thinks you’re going mad. It’s real pain, not imagined. Everyone says this sort of phantom feeling is one of the worst things about losing a limb.”

  David grunted miserably.

  “Well, it’s painful that’s for sure but I’m not certain it is the worst thing actually. I just feel like shit all the time. If I didn’t have a sister who would do anything for me I probably would have cut my own throat before now. I’ve been a grumpy bastard with her and she’s not bitten back once yet.” He wasn’t joking and the physiotherapist knew it.

  “Everyone goes through that stage and it’s no good me saying anything to try and make you feel better about yourself because it won’t work. I know that you lot get training and pre conflict counselling but nothing can prepare you for the shock of something as severe as this. You are lucky that your sister is so supportive but going out or getting back
to work will help too. Feeling useless is the worst thing ever. You need to have purpose in life, everyone does. It makes you feel that you are worthwhile. Have you had any word from your regiment?”

  David nodded and then grinned.

  “They’ve offered me a desk job for a start. I can go back anytime I feel ready. To be honest I can’t wait. I’m missing all the general camaraderie and I want to go back soon so that Ellen can move on with her own life. She’s given up nearly everything to support me. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her but she needs to move on as much as I do.”

  Colin nodded. Family support was so important but at some point you had to let go and get on with it yourself.

  “Family can try and smother you sometimes but I’ve met your sister. She’s obviously a wonderful person, beautiful too. All the guys moon over her when she’s about.”

  David raised his eyebrows as he noticed Colin’s wistful expression.

  “She’s engaged you know.” David gritted his teeth over the words. He’d hardly been able to believe it when Ellen had turned up from a shopping trip in London with a huge diamond ring on her finger only a few weeks earlier.

  Colin sighed audibly.

  “Yes, to a flipping jerk by the looks of him. I saw him not so long back. He wouldn’t come in but stood outside preening himself as he looked at his own flipping reflection in the window. Makes me sick that he is so vain what with everything that goes on in here. How on earth did she end up with someone like him? Makes the mind boggle sometimes.”

  David grunted in agreement and glanced up at the clock on the wall. Ellen wouldn’t be back for another half an hour. He turned back to Colin.

  “She started going out with him when she was at university. He was alright back then I suppose. It’s as he’s grown older that he’s become an idiot. I swear he was going to chuck her last year but after we inherited from our great aunt he just hung around. I know he’s just after her money now but she was lonely with me away all the time and she’s not the sort to play the field. He’s just someone familiar and she won’t give him up yet but I think she’ll come to her senses soon. I’m pretty sure she won’t get married to him.” He crossed his fingers as he spoke. “She has a brilliant idea for a new business but Justin doesn’t agree with it. He thinks she’s wasting her time and money but I can’t see her backing down on it. I’m sure she’ll end it with him soon. That’s another reason I want to get back to work as soon as possible…She won’t go and set this venture up if I’m not sorted out so I need to practise getting by on my own.” He pulled his prosthetics back over what remained of his limbs and stood up carefully. He could immediately feel the difference with the two socks and he balanced himself before he took a step forwards.