Wrong in Love

by March, Aisling

  PART ONE

  Jocelyn, 6 Years Ago

  When Jocelyn Mendes was 17, she snuck out of Biology class and walked home. It wasn’t something she was supposed to do, but with over 1,000 kids in the senior class of her regional high school, no one really noticed when one student was missing.

  She did this every once in a while; left school and wandered the rural roads of her small Florida town, inhaling the sweet citrus trees and waving at the occasional car that drove by. She knew almost everybody in town, and there were few that would rat her out to her parents. Everyone knew how strict Mr. and Mrs. Mendes were, and nobody would have subjected Jocelyn to the punishment she surely would have received if her parents found out she was skipping school. The Mendes’ were strict, stricter than almost anyone Jocelyn knew, but sometimes she just needed to breathe.

  These afternoons were the only time Jocelyn ever really felt free. With her parents controlling every aspect, every minute of her life, sometimes she felt like she might explode. She was in school most of the day, then there was ice skating and cheerleading and homework and volunteering. Her friends were vetted, boyfriends non-existent. Walking down the street with the sun beating down on her, the air wild and scented and nobody knowing where she was, calmed her in a way nothing else could.

  On this day as she made her way home with her parents at work, she thought she’d have the house to herself for a few hours. Their Florida cape was tucked at the end of a cul de sac, a palm tree on the front lawn and a two-car garage. It looked like every other house in their development, and when Jocelyn was little she’d had to remember which house was theirs by looking at the front doors. Theirs was the only one in their neighborhood with a window running down the center, a leaded floral design that her father had let her pick out when they were building the house. She still looked for that window when she came home.

  She walked up the path, past the flowers her mother had planted and the landscaper maintained, past the pumpkins that had been set out for fall. And then she saw something which changed her life forever; her father, just through that leaded flower, kissing another woman.

  Jocelyn stood frozen on the front porch, unable to look away from her dad, his eyes closed, his shirt unbuttoned at the top, the strange woman pressing herself into him with a red dress hiked up around her waist. They didn’t see her, and she stood there until the shock wore off enough for her to feel sick. She turned and ran from her house, back to school, where classes were ending for the day and thousands of students milled about. She wanted to get lost in the crowd and pretend like she’d never seen what she’d seen.

  Jocelyn never told her mother what she saw, and as far as she knew, her mother never found out. Over the years the image faded until its memory produced only a dull pain, but it was never gone. Never completely.

  Chapter 2

  Jocelyn was getting married in seventy-four minutes. Make that seventy-three. Instead of getting ready, she soaked in a tub of warm water. Flower petals made of soap surrounded her and ivory candles glowed in the otherwise dark bathroom. Music played softly in the background of her hotel room – well, their hotel room. She needed to start thinking of everything as theirs, especially after tonight.

  She inhaled deeply then submerged her head under water, her long, dark hair spilling out of its loose bun and into the tub. She thought about staying under there, under the surface, until Will came to find her. Maybe even longer. There was peace under the water, a lack of urgency. Eventually she came back up and breathed in. She thought about what she was about to do. She, Jocelyn Mendes, age twenty-three (barely), was about to walk down the aisle of what would most likely be a cheesy Vegas chapel with a man that she hadn’t thought about marrying, at least not yet. She loved Will, she really did, but she’d imagined them getting married in six or seven years, if ever.

  She rested one newly jeweled hand on her stomach which, six weeks in, had yet to reveal the baby hidden inside. She rubbed her stomach lovingly, eager to know the little person growing inside of her even as she doubted marrying its father. She was looking forward to being a mother, to walks with a baby in a stroller, a cup of Cheerios at hand, putting ribbons in a little girl’s hair, brushing tiny teeth. She could already see future Christmases, with her child – their child, that was – sitting wide-eyed underneath a tree, tearing open neatly wrapped boxes and flinging bows and cards aside. She bet the child would have brown eyes like her, but would he or she have Jocelyn’s dark straight hair or Will’s red curls? She would never say it, but she hoped it would be her hair; she couldn’t imagine trying to detangle those wild curls on a child.

  For now though, the baby would be kept a secret. Jocelyn’s family was traditional (at least on the outside) and her mother was a devout Catholic. She would be crushed if she found out that Jocelyn was pregnant before she was married. And her father would mostly likely kill Will for getting his only daughter into “trouble,” as he would undoubtedly describe the situation. This way though, the way Jocelyn and Will had carefully planned out over the past week, would minimize the scandal that would surround them.

  It wasn’t like she and Will had just met; they’d been dating for four years, since the end of their sophomore of college. Her sorority had gone to a party at his fraternity, and they’d bumped into each other while doing shots of tequila. She’d thought he was adorable with his curly red hair and laughing blue eyes. They’d stumbled to his room together, where she’d spent the night. The next morning she’d woken with a headache and insurmountable shame. To her surprise, Will called her later that day and asked her to dinner that week. They’d spent the rest of college going to Greek events together, spending spring break vacations in Mexico and Florida, and occasionally going to each other’s respective Florida homes for holidays. Now with college over, Will was headed to Suffolk Law School in Boston and Jocelyn had intended to stay in Florida to teach third grade at a school near West Palm Beach. The realization that they had a baby on the way put her plans on hold and now their lives would become permanently intertwined.

  After the wedding they would return to Florida, tell their families that they had eloped, and then less than a week later they would send their belongings to their new apartment and hop on a plane to Boston. Six weeks later they would tell their families that they were pregnant, and after that they’d have to hope for a combination of a late baby and understanding parents.

  Jocelyn heard the hotel door shut and Will’s heavy footsteps come toward the bathroom. He tapped gently on the door before opening it a crack.

  “Hey baby, how are things going in here?” He eyed the candles and the flower petals. Jocelyn could smell the beer on him from where she sat.

  “Just a few more minutes please,” she said. He nodded and shut the door.

  Jocelyn stared blankly at the beige tile in the shower. This was it. As soon as she blew out the candles and emptied the water, she would have to put on her off-white dress and marry Will. She rubbed her stomach one last time for strength, and opened the drain.

  After getting out of the tub and drying her hair, Jocelyn emerged from the bathroom to find him waiting for her, holding a dozen white roses. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a white collared shirt. He looked as handsome as ever, and Jocelyn remembered why she’d initially been attracted to him.

  “Are you ready to be Mrs. Adams?” he asked.

  Jocelyn smiled.

  “Mrs. Adams. It sounds so old,” she said.

  “Mature,” he corrected her.

  “Mature. I guess that’s what we are now.”

  “You bet,” he said. He stepped toward her and placed a hand lovingly on her stomach. “I can’t wait to marry you and start a family. I’d always known we would get here, I just figured it would be in a f
ew years.”

  Jocelyn looked up at him. He had always known? Why hadn’t she known?

  “I’m glad too,” she said. She gave him a kiss then slipped into her dress.

  The ceremony seemed to go by in a blur. Jocelyn had always dreamed of her wedding, of the long, flowing gown she would wear and her bridesmaids in pink. She hadn’t pictured herself standing in a quickie-wedding chapel wearing an off-white sundress. She didn’t listen to herself as she repeated the words the minister said. She stared into Will’s eyes, searching for something that would tell her she was doing the right thing. All she saw was happiness and a broad smile. She returned the smile. This would be fine. Everything would be fine.

  CHAPTER 3

  Jocelyn was quiet in the car from the airport to her parents’ house. They were going to tell each of their families, starting with hers because Jocelyn wanted to get her family out of the way. Her stomach had been a bundle of butterflies since the wedding was over and the next part of the plan was underway.

  They pulled into the Mendes’ driveway. The blue SUV belonging to Jocelyn’s older brother Anthony was parked in the driveway.

  “Great,” said Will. Jocelyn squeezed his hand.

  “I’d be more worried about my father,” she said.

  “Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better,” he said.

  As they approached the front door, it was flung open by Jocelyn’s mother, Lois. She was a petite woman with a pixie cut and expressive eyes, born in France but in the United States for long enough to have lost all but a trace of her accent.

  “Joccie!” she shouted. Jocelyn smiled in spite of her nervousness and returned her mother’s hug. Her family had always been close, and much more affectionate than most families. “I’m so glad you two are back. How was your little vacation?”

  Will looked at Jocelyn.

  “It was great,” he said.

  “Oh, that’s splendid. Come in, come in and tell us all about it.”

  Jocelyn followed her mother, her right hand covering the wedding and engagement rings they had purchased in Vegas. The dread in her stomach intensified. Her parents were going to be heartbroken. And on top of it, her father was going to be pissed.

  “Jocelyn, Will, how was Las Vegas?” asked her father, coming into the living room. His accent was that of a Brazilian immigrant. He too had been in the US for many years, but his accent was far from gone.

  They sat on the long white couch that her mother cleaned daily. Her father sat in an upright armchair across from the couch. His thick mustache concealed most of his mouth, making it difficult to read his expression.

  “Well, we have something to tell you,” said Jocelyn.

  “Oh no,” said Lois, sitting in a matching upright chair. Edgar looked at his wife, then became concerned.

  “Tony,” Edgar called into the kitchen. A moment later Jocelyn’s brother entered, a slice of pizza in one hand and a plate with another slice in the other. He had bought a condo nearby but still came to his parents’ house often. Single, he liked the comfort of home – a fully stocked kitchen and someone to do his laundry. He looked remarkably similar to Jocelyn, with wide brown eyes and dark wavy hair. His skin was the same shade of light brown that turned into an almond color in the summer.

  “Hey Jocelyn, hey Will. What’s going on?” he asked. He took a bite out of one of the slices of pizza.

  “Your sister has something to tell us,” Edgar said, his eyes never leaving Jocelyn’s face.

  “Uh oh,” said Tony. He glanced at Will, then Jocelyn.

  “They’re married,” said Lois, clutching her heart. “My baby got married in Vegas.”

  Jocelyn looked dumbfounded at her mother. How had she known?

  “Lois, shh. Let them talk,” said Edgar.

  “Well,” Jocelyn began. She wasn’t sure what to say now that her mother had guessed the truth. “We got married.”

  “Oh shit,” said Anthony, dropping his half-eaten slice.

  “I knew it,” said Lois. Her hands remained clasped at her chest and she sunk into the chair.

  Jocelyn’s father stared straight into Jocelyn’s eyes. She suddenly wished they hadn’t done it, that they had just told their families the truth. That she was pregnant, that in nine months she would be giving birth to a child out of wedlock. Which would be worse? She didn’t know, but as she had already selected this route, and it was too late to turn back, she persevered.

  “We were out Saturday night, and we were walking by a chapel and we just got caught up in the romance of it all…” she began.

  “The romance in Vegas? Did you not see the hookers and booze everywhere?” asked Tony. He was laughing to himself. Jocelyn wanted to kill him right then.

  “Jocelyn. You didn’t get married,” said her father.

  “She’s pregnant,” said Lois. Jocelyn looked at her mother. She had known this would be their natural assumption – after all, it was the truth. But she was determined to play it off.

  “No, I’m not pregnant,” she said.

  “You must be,” said Tony. He shook his head. “My baby sister, knocked up and tied down. I should kick your ass.” He looked at Will.

  “Yes, he should kick your ass. So should I,” said Edgar.

  Will, for the first time, spoke up.

  “I’m sorry that we went about it this way. I love Jocelyn very much, and I’ve wanted to marry her for a long time. We should have thought things through, but once the idea got in our heads, we just couldn’t stop ourselves.”

  “May Jesus forgive you. You must get married in the church,” said Lois.

  “She can’t get married in the church if she’s pregnant,” said Edgar.

  “I’m not pregnant,” Jocelyn repeated.

  “How could you take this moment away from your mother? She’d been planning your wedding day for years. Since you were a little girl she’s said, we’ll have this wine at Joccie’s wedding, we will play this music, we will eat this food.”

  Jocelyn nodded.

  “I know,” she said.

  “And you, on the spur of the moment, decide to just take that away, as though it’s not important. Perhaps that tells you that you’ve made the wrong love match,” said Edgar. He glared at Will.

  “No, papa, I knew what I was doing,” she said.

  “You’ll get a divorce,” said Edgar.

  “Divorce! No!” said Lois.

  “It doesn’t count, it wasn’t in the church. She’ll get a divorce, and we will tell no one that this happened.”

  “I don’t want to get a divorce,” said Jocelyn. Oh, how a part of her did want just that.

  “Because you don’t want your baby to be a bastard?” asked Tony.

  “I’m not pregnant,” said Jocelyn.

  Her mother shook her head. Her father stared at her for a long time.

  “Fine. Jocelyn has made a big adult decision. She’s gone away and gotten married. She has done it out of love and not because she is expecting a baby. Fine. We’ll have a toast then, to the marriage,” said Edgar.

  Jocelyn looked at her father. His eyes told her that he knew, that he was going to test her and force her to admit that she was pregnant.

  “Great,” she said. She stood quickly, desperately trying to think of a way around drinking the twenty-five year bottle of champagne her father was going to undoubtedly bring out. He had saved several old bottles for special occasions.

  “Joc,” whispered Will as they walked to the kitchen. She turned and shook her head. He had to be quiet in order to save their secret. She would find a way out of this.

  The kitchen was enormous, and had recently been remodeled. Her father left the four of them standing awkwardly around the marble island in the center while he went downstairs to retrieve a bottle of champagne. After a moment of silence Lois pulled five champagne glasses from a glass cabinet.

  “Jocelyn,” her mother said sadly, setting the glasses on the island.

  “I’m sorry, mama.” Her mother shook he
r head. Anthony looked at her and she thought for a moment she saw understanding and sympathy in his eyes. Will continued to say nothing.

  “Why does everyone look sad? Jocelyn has insisted that this is a happy occasion, so let’s treat it as such,” said Edgar, returning. He opened a drawer forcefully and produced a corkscrew then opened the bottle with a loud pop. He poured a healthy amount of champagne into the glasses and then handed one to each of them. Jocelyn stood between Will and Tony, her parents facing her on the other side of the island, waiting for her father to make his toast. She still didn’t know what she was going to do.

  Edgar raised his glass.

  “To the new Mr. and Mrs…I’m sorry, what is your last name?” he asked Will.

  “Papa,” said Jocelyn. He knew Will’s last name.

  “It’s Adams, Ed,” said Lois.

  “To the new Mr. and Mrs. Adams,” he said. He held his glass forward and they all joined in, the clinking unnaturally loud in the quiet room. Edgar raised the glass to his lips, and the rest followed, all eyes on Jocelyn.

  She decided she would drink it. How bad could it be to drink one glass of champagne? Surely plenty of women must enjoy a glass or two of wine not realizing they were

  pregnant?

  As the champagne touched her lips, Jocelyn heard a loud crash.

  Startled, she jumped and lowered the glass. She looked to her right. Tony had dropped his glass.

  “Oh shit, Mama, I’m so sorry,” he said. He bent to pick up the large pieces of glass.

  “It’s okay Tony, it’s just glass,” said Lois.

  Jocelyn knelt to help him clean it. As soon as she was on the ground, Tony ripped her champagne from her hand and downed it, handing the glass back to her just before her parents came around the side.

  “Tony, your mother’s favorite glasses,” said Edgar.

  “I said it’s all right,” said Lois.

  “I’ll get the broom,” said Will. He went to the small closet where cleaning supplies were kept.

  Jocelyn stared at Tony. He had known. He had known and he had saved her.