Infinite Completion (The Infinity Series Book 1)

by Michelle Dennis

  ‘Open it,’ he whispers. He looks worried.

  ‘Okay,’ I manage to say. I’m breathless.

  Inside is a gold ring with three sapphires. It doesn’t look like an engagement ring. It’s beautiful. Simple and elegant.

  ‘I saw it and it reminded me of you,’ Valentine says as he pulls it from the box and puts it on my right ring finger. ‘I know you’re going to marry me one day, and I’m happy for you to wear it on whichever finger you like, but when I ask you to marry me with a real engagement ring, it won’t be sapphires,’ he says, as he closes his mouth over mine.

  I try to take a breath and push him back.

  ‘I love it. I love you,’ I say, wrapping my arms around him.

  ‘I love you – infinity.’

  ∞~∞~∞~∞

  Lunch goes as expected. Mum cooks an array of pasta dishes and the girls have worked hard at making a Greek salad. Sam makes an extra effort to use his manners and Dad makes conversation with Valentine as much possible, to break the looming silence that appears every so often.

  ‘So, Valentine, how is work?’ he says picking up his glass of lemonade and taking a sip. He’s watching Valentine, watching me. I smile and meet Valentine’s gaze with a quick glance before he pulls his beautiful eyes from mine and turns to my dad.

  ‘Very good, Sir. We’ve started to get a little busier with the cooler weather coming. The mornings are getting darker and people seem to be in more need for their morning caffeine fix.’

  ‘So, business is going well then? That’s good,’ Dad fills his mouth with some more pasta and Valentine turns his attention back to me. I feel sad for him. Dad’s inquisitions must be so daunting for him. I put my fork down and squeeze his hand – I am so proud of him.

  Once lunch is cleared away, Valentine and I take our leave. It’s getting very late in the afternoon and he says he has a surprise for me.

  ‘Why can’t you just tell me where we’re going?’ I shout to him, as we ride away from my family. I know it must kill Mum to see her daughter on the back of a motorbike, but I’m safe with Valentine.

  ‘Because, I like to surprise you. Besides, you’ll guess when we get closer anyway,’ he shouts back before turning out onto the main road. I hold on tight to him and rest my head on his back. I close my eyes.

  I don’t really notice where we are until we pull into a car park. I look around and then notice we’re at Pandora’s. I smile. He’s so romantic.

  I climb off the bike and stand close to him, taking off my helmet and shaking my hair out. ‘Why are we here?’ I ask, trying to sound like I have no idea why he has driven us all this way.

  ‘You don’t remember, Princess?’ he says, as he swings his leg over the bike and turns to me, taking off his helmet. He runs his hand through his hair and looks a little disappointed. I crack. I can’t do it to him.

  ‘How could I ever forget?’ I giggle. He leans over and kisses me and I hug him tight.

  ‘Come on, I think we both need a stiff drink,’ he says as he peels me off.

  It’s quiet inside. No loud music, no crowds and no cigarette smoke filling the air. As we walk up to the bar, a blonde lady with a wide smile greets us.

  ‘Hi Valentine, how are you?’ she says, sounding a little too friendly for my liking.

  ‘Hi Donna, all’s good. Can you get me a whisky? Actually – make it a double, on the rocks. And my beautiful lady will have an orange juice, with a strawberry please.’

  ‘Sure thing,’ Donna replies, moving toward the fridge behind her. I notice that she eyes Valentine as she pours our drinks and he hardly takes his eyes from me.

  ‘Come on, Princess, we’ll sit at a table over in the corner,’ he says, leaving some money on the bar and pulling me toward a small wooden table near the window.

  ‘Do you know that lady?’ I ask curiously. She’s very attractive.

  Holding my hand and leaning toward me he replies, ‘Our band played here – remember?’

  My response is interrupted by Donna placing our drinks onto the table. ‘Thank you,’ I say to her, as sweetly as I can. Valentine squeezes my hand.

  ‘Enjoy,’ she says, glancing at Valentine.

  He continues watching me for a moment and then turns his attention to his drink. I watch as he empties the whole glass without a breath. He must have really needed that drink. Thanks to my parents.

  ‘So, that lady was here when you played here?’ I keep on with my questions.

  ‘Yes, Princess, and a lot of other barmaids too,’ he smiles and now he’s watching people pass by the window on the street outside.

  ‘But you know her name.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Why?’

  Valentine looks puzzled. ‘Why do I know her name?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, I know a lot of people, and I know her name because it’s on her name tag.’

  ‘Is that all?’

  And the penny looks like it has dropped. His smile widens and his eyes sparkle with mischief. ‘Yes, Princess, that’s all.’ He turns his attention back to his empty glass and I take a sip of my drink. I can hear my intuition saying You know he’s probably slept with her – and every other barmaid too. He would tell me… wouldn’t he?

  ‘Have you slept with her?’ I can’t believe I just said that. I put my drink down and fidget with my fingers.

  I think I hear him say, ‘No,’ but I look up at him to check that he was talking to me. His eyes are still glistening and his grin is wide. ‘Princess, drink your juice and let me take you home.’

  On our way home, I close my eyes and my thoughts wander off.

  I think about the “old” Abbie, the one before Valentine. The “worthless” Abbie. My senseless self, who, at the age of seventeen, thought the only way to gain this worth was to have a boy fall in-love with her. He’d never leave if I smothered him with my whole self and just a little bit more. Being in-love would keep the shadows away, filling my days with happiness, and maybe I wouldn’t be “worthless” Abbie anymore. In the final year of school, I had a crush on Christian Myers. And when he finally returned my infatuation, I felt special. We loved each other and he made me feel safe and wanted…

  Then my thoughts roam off to my nineteen-year-old self. Black hair, black nails, black clothes and bathed in self-loathing. I read classic literature and spent most of my time painting and writing sad poetry. When I came back from these fantasy places, I was still nothing and the dark shadows still haunted my nights and clouded my days. But, within the darkness, I had Christian – or at least, he had me. When I think about it now, he must have felt just as lost as I did, because he probably always felt as though he couldn’t leave me to my self-destruction, so he would never leave. I really don’t know, I never cared enough about how he felt to actually ask him. Maybe we were just typical teenagers; lost, angry at the world, searching for the meaning of life and never finding it. Suicide attempts using any kind of painkiller I could get my hands on and starving myself became my regular cry for help, neither very final in ending my worthless life or removing the Black Dog, but it made Christian notice me. I can’t remember seeing much of Sarah, Ethan or Hannah during this time of my life. I try to place them, but I think I was too wrapped up in being lost. Until I found God – or more accurately, he found me.

  I remember walking out of a shop along Hay Street one afternoon, considering another suicide attempt. This time I’d cut my wrists, as I’d seen people do in movies. I’d sit in a bath and do it, so the blood would be easy to clean up. I was sick of being nothing. I hated this world and I hated myself. I was ugly. I was stupid. And what were we all here for, anyway? We woke up, ate whatever we wanted, worked to pay bills, smiled on the outside and died on the inside. Eventually, we’d be abandoned by somebody we loved, and made to feel stupid. Utterly stupid. Yes, I’d leave this world behind, before it left me. Then I heard a man singing Amazing Grace and I noticed he was in a wheelchair. This made me feel uncomfortable. Why was I allowing depression t
o beat me, when this man seemed to be battling much more than I was? This was the moment I heard my intuition speaking to me clearly. You know, if you wash off all that black stuff from your eyes, and take that black nail polish off, you may actually notice that you are perfect. God doesn’t make mistakes, Abigail Bennet, he made you just the way you should be. It was as though somebody had hit me in the back of the head. I just had to open my eyes and look around at my family. I just had to decide on being Abbie. I didn’t need to be what everyone else wanted me to be. I didn’t need anyone to love me, so I could have their unspoken permission to love myself. God loved me. And my family loved me. I was important to them. And when friends came into my life and then left, my family would still be there.

  I went back to my apartment that night and broke it off with Christian. He looked relieved, to say the least. I washed the black stuff from my eyes, took the black paint from my nails and stripped out the black hair dye until my red hair was revealed. I went home to Mum and Dad, deciding to go to church and find something that I was good at. I went to a psychiatrist every other Wednesday and started on the anti-depressants. At first, I thought suicide would have just been easier. The cold sweats, headaches, diarrhoea, dry mouth, dizziness – all side effects of the new drug and the Black Dog being pushed away. But it eventually got better. Bearable. I got my job at the Wellness Centre and started to discover Abigail Bennet was a really nice girl. And I know, without any doubt, that Valentine thinks so too…

  ‘Princess, we’re home,’ Valentine says as he carefully slides from the bike and holds me so I don’t fall. He pulls off my helmet and I hear him chuckle a little. ‘Come on sleepyhead, I have one more surprise inside.’ I let him carry me inside – I can hardly keep my eyes open.

  It’s a Princess cake from the local patisserie. Vanilla sponge, custard and cream covered in a green almond flavoured marzipan – my favourite cake. I can’t believe he bought me a Princess cake.

  ‘This is the cake I am going to buy for you every year for the rest of your life – a Princess cake for a Princess.’

  I hug him.

  We eat a piece and go to bed. It has been a full day and I just want to be wrapped up in his arms.

  Life with Valentine is complete – infinitely.

  Chapter 6

  I’m a naive twenty one year old girl, with my head in the clouds. I have no idea what it means to be a part of Valentine’s world. So, when Valentine is asked to drum for Seduction, as a favour to Phil and I’m confronted by his ex-wife at Pandora’s Pub only a few weeks after we start our love affair, I have no idea how to react.

  ‘Jacquie may be coming tonight,’ Valentine says as we arrive.

  ‘Oh, it’s good that she still wants to come and watch the guys play,’ I reply, stupidly.

  ‘No, I’m pretty sure she’s coming to check you out.’

  ‘Me! Why?’

  ‘Well, I might’ve told her that I have found the most beautiful girl in the world... that you’re more beautiful than a model...’

  ‘Me! A what? I’m no model.’ Now, I’m more than a little nervous. All I can think about is that Jacquie must be beautiful; my Valentine wouldn’t be with anyone who wasn’t. She must have chocolate eyes and coffee skin, just like his. She must have long nails and long hair, with long legs and long eyelashes. Her name is Jacquie; this must be short for Jacqueline? That’s a beautiful name.

  It’s already getting crowded by the time the band have their gear set up and Valentine seats me at the bar in my usual spot. Close to the stage. Close to him.

  The band starts and the lights are low. I begin to relax as soon as I hear Valentine on the drums. He’s awesome.

  When the first bracket finishes, he jumps down from the stage with a cheeky sort of grin.

  ‘She’s here,’ he says, ordering us both a drink.

  ‘Where?’ I feel my heart skip a beat. Will she like me? I hope so.

  ‘Behind the pillar. Don’t worry, she’s not the confrontational type. She’ll more than likely just ogle you from afar,’ he says, kissing me on the forehead, both cheeks and then my lips. ‘I’m just going to the men’s room, I’m busting, but I won’t be long, so be good.’ And he’s gone.

  I take a deep breath and turn, so I am facing the bar; maybe she won’t want to meet me.

  ‘Abbie?’

  That’s her, a British accent – but not the Queen’s type of smooth vowels rolling from the tongue – the Essex type of twang. I immediately expect a beautiful, yet, down-to-earth type of woman and feel almost comfortable before even turning around.

  I couldn’t have been more wrong. She’s a short dumpy lady, with a big smiling face, wearing a black hat. She has straight white-blonde hair which comes to her shoulders, not the long hair I expected. She has big eyes, but they aren’t chocolate brown like Valentine’s. She’s actually nothing like I expected. Maybe this isn’t Valentine’s ex? Maybe she’s sent a friend over to check me out?

  ‘Yes, hello,’ I reply.

  ‘Jacquie,’ she says, as she leans over and kisses my cheek. I can’t believe it. She’s really being kind to me. I like her straight away – just a friendly English lady with big rosy cheeks.

  ‘It’s good to finally meet you, Valentine talks about you a lot,’ she says, scanning the room.

  ‘Oh, yeah, it’s good to meet you too,’ I say, standing up and facing her properly. I have no idea how to act with an ex-wife. Should I even be talking to her?

  ‘This is our son... you know we have a son together?’ she says, showing me a photo of their gorgeous boy, Tyler, which is dangling from her keyring. He has dark curly hair and big brown eyes; like Valentine. My heart slides to the floor.

  ‘You can have Valentine, but you can’t have my son,’ she adds, still smiling.

  I glance nervously at the door I know Valentine will come through – I have no idea how to respond to her strange comment. Then my heart skips as Valentine appears near the stage. He saunters over to me with his usual suave demeanour and plants a passionate kiss on my gaping mouth before turning to Jacquie. ‘Hi,’ he says, with just a momentary glance sideways at her.

  ‘Hi, Valentine,’ she answers cheerily. Things seem amicable.

  ‘I’ve had a lot to drink,’ she says, followed by a manic giggle. I look back at her and try to smile. Her round face is red and shiny.

  I can almost see the shadow of irritation that crosses Valentine’s face. ‘Where’s Tyler tonight?’ he demands quietly.

  ‘He’s with Mum, at home, hopefully asleep,’ she answers, confidently, although I get the impression she would like to add, “And you don’t have a say in that,” but she’s still smiling.

  ‘So, you won’t be staying too long then? Your mum won’t want you home late?’

  ‘No, I’ve come from work just to have a few drinks with the girls,’ she gestures to a group of ladies standing in a tight cluster nearby. Then she straightens and gives me a wink, ‘I’m going to head home after this drink. It was nice to meet you, Abbie.’ She doesn’t glance away from me to speak to Valentine, ‘Take care now,’ she adds, before turning on her heel and disappearing into the throng of women.

  ‘Oh, okay, well I’ll see you later then. It was nice to meet you,’ I finally reply to her odd statement, before my face is encased between Valentine’s warm hands and his lips are covering my mouth.

  ‘Are you alright, Princess?’ he says after he presses his lips to mine a few more times. He pulls my face up to him and our eyes lock. I’m speechless. What was that? The ‘ex’, checking me out? Their little stand-off was a bit weird.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I finally say. I find the orange juice he had put on the bar behind me and swallow it down without taking a breath. ‘I could do with a vodka and orange.’

  ‘Okay, so you’re not fine. Don’t worry, she won’t bother you again, she’s going home. And when I’m finished, we’ll go home too.’

  I’m frowning. I don’t mean to. It wasn’t that bad, really. I met the ‘ex’,
not so bad. But I do want to go home.

  ∞~∞~∞~∞

  The weekend partying becomes a regular pastime. We still go to watch Seduction, now fronted by a female singer. After the band finishes their gig every Friday night, we go from Pandora’s and head over to the Racket Club. Sam has joined in with our group outings and has even, much to the absolute horror of our poor parents, bought himself a Kawasaki 750. He admires Valentine so much and I promise my parents that he’s in good hands when he’s out with us.

  Tonight we’re all excited, celebrating Sarah’s twenty-first birthday, and I’m even going to have a couple of drinks. I know I’m not meant to drink while on anti-depressants, but it’s a special occasion.

  As we make our way toward the entrance of another club, Valentine buys me a single red rose from a guy carrying a small basket. ‘Here you are, Princess,’ he says, kissing me. There is always somebody selling roses outside nightclubs, and it’s almost become a ritual that Valentine buys me one. It never loses its novelty, though.

  ‘Thank you,’ I beam at him and he plants a long hard kiss on my smiling mouth.

  ‘You deserve it,’ he says, leading me through the entry of the club and greeting the bouncers as we pass.

  As soon as we’re all comfortable near the bar, Valentine disappears to request a song for me. When it starts we abandon our drinks and rush onto the dance floor. Sarah, Phil, Hannah, Ethan and myself dance about as though we own the dance floor. Valentine stands with Sam against the bar like they belong in the movie, ‘Goodfellas’.

  I look over to my Valentine and notice he has started to disappear into the crowd, after handing his drink to Sam. He must be going to request another song. I keep dancing. It’s so much fun.

  Hang on – who’s this loser? I see a guy dancing very close to our group and really trying to get in the loop. He seems harmless enough, but I move away a little. Guys like him can get the wrong idea very quickly.

  As the music changes to a slower beat, the guy moves closer to me. Before I can even move back from him, Phil has moved in between us and I feel Valentine’s hand in mine. I’m pulled away from the group so fast that my head spins, and it takes a moment to focus.