Infinite Completion (The Infinity Series Book 1)

by Michelle Dennis

  ∞~∞~∞~∞

  The restaurant is exquisite. I clutch Zane’s arm as we enter and a young man, with very short, white blonde hair greets us. He’s wearing a smart suit and I silently thank my sisters for dressing me appropriately.

  ‘Good evening, welcome to Seashells,’ he grins.

  ‘Thank you, we have a booking under Zane Williams.’

  I glance up at Zane. He sounds so formal and confident. I briefly consider how many times he’s brought a date here before, but my intuition says what does it matter, he has only ever wanted you. I look at our concierge and he’s ticking Zane’s name off in a very large book. I study the shiny wooden stand which holds the book and let my eyes follow the deep red polished wood flooring towards the seating area. The décor is very modern. The tables are highly polished red wood and there is a lot of black furniture with silver trimmings. I glance around as Zane guides me to our table, following a short man wearing a black suit – so, this is fine dining.

  The waiter pulls a chair out for me and I take a seat. ‘Thank you.’ I’m hardly able to drag my eyes away from the view. We’re seated right near the window, with a view of the harbour. The sun is still hanging onto the horizon and it’s absolutely stunning.

  ‘You like?’ Zane asks, with a grin.

  ‘Yeah, it’s really nice.’ I grin back at him.

  ‘Your eyes are green.’ He turns to the waiter, who is standing patiently beside him. ‘We’ll have a bottle of chilled water and two Tequila Sunrises – but hold the Tequila.’

  ‘Sir?’ The waiter looks at Zane uncertainly.

  ‘My wife is expecting and I’m driving, so please hold back on the alcohol,’ Zane says confidently, but not without a small smile playing on his lips.

  ‘Of course, sir. I’ll see what we can do – something special, I’m sure,’ the waiter responds with a smile, turning on his heels.

  ‘Wife?’ I raise my eyebrows.

  ‘Well, it sounded good at the time,’ Zane shrugs and chuckles.

  I sigh and watch the sun disappearing on the horizon. The lights outside the window are twinkling and the ambiance of the whole room is mesmerising. Everyone is talking and laughing. Some people are holding hands and some people, like us, are clearly on their first date.

  ‘So, Abbie, what are your plans for the near future?’ Zane brings my attention back to him. Small talk. I smile.

  ‘You really want to know?’

  ‘Well, yeah, I really do,’ he leans into me, as though trying to see past my mask.

  ‘I’m having a baby.’

  ‘I know that bit – but what else?’

  ‘I don’t really know. Stay at home, I guess. Mum says they’ll make room – maybe the girls will move into a room together and the baby and I will share a room. I’m in the study at the moment—’

  ‘Abbie, stop,’ Zane says gently. I look at him and he has a smirk curling up the corners of his mouth, shadowed by a slightly perplexed look. ‘Give me your hand.’

  I hold out my hand.

  He takes hold gently and squeezes my fingers with tenderness. I feel a warm rush flow through my chest and I know my heart is trying to ignore it.

  ‘When we finish our meal, would you like to go to a club?’

  I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but I wasn’t expecting this. A nightclub. Loud music. Drunk people. Dancing. Crowds.

  ‘Not really,’ I answer.

  ‘Why?’ He regards me expectantly.

  ‘I’ve never really liked that scene,’ I say honestly. Especially without Valentine.

  ‘You’re pregnant Abbie, not old and decrepit,’ he smiles. ‘You really need to let your hair down.’

  The last time we did that, look where we ended up – broken. My heart is finally talking. We are broken… but Zane said “not irreparable”. I just don’t know what to do.

  ‘I feel old.’ I can’t believe I’m here with him. He’s so attractive. The soft light touches his sharp cheekbones and with his head lowered slightly, his sandy blond hair is falling over his forehead just a little; he looks far too angelic for the likes of me.

  The waiter arrives with our drinks. They look like an orange sunrise. Tropical and romantic. My heart reminds me of the Hawaiian pizza that Valentine bought for me and I ignore it.

  ‘Okay, I’ll go,’ I say quietly, when the waiter leaves us alone.

  ‘Really?’ Zane grins like a wolf about to devour its catch, only I don’t feel like Little Red Riding Hood, so this has to be a good sign, right?

  ‘Yes,’ I say, taking a sip of my drink.

  ‘Great! I know just the place.’ Zane grins into his glass and flashes his perfect white teeth.

  Chapter 12

  We pull up at the front of The Lair; an elite nightclub, as far as I know. It’s Sunday night so Northbridge is pretty busy, and there’s a queue. I cringe inwardly at the thought of standing in line. We never had to line up, when we went with Valentine. I ignore the snide remark from my heart.

  ‘Come on, Abbie,’ Zane says, pulling me out of my seat and closing the door. He holds my hand gently and guides me straight up to the entrance. I can feel everyone staring at us. They’ve probably been waiting here for ages and I’m sure they’re not impressed with us for pushing our way in.

  ‘Zane, don’t we have to line up?’ I ask. But he doesn’t seem to be listening.

  ‘Hi, Jed!’ he says loudly, as we approach an attractive dark-skinned guy with black hair and even darker eyes.

  ‘Zane! ‘ow are ya?’ He’s obviously from the United Kingdom, with an accent like that.

  ‘Oh, I’m really good, and you?’

  ‘Yeah, all good.’ They shake hands and Jed’s eyes fall directly onto me.

  ‘You wan’ to go in?’ Jed says, looking back at Zane. I don’t miss the twinkle in his eyes. The kind of twinkle that comes from keeping a laugh held in. I wonder why he’d be suppressing a laugh. Do I look stupid? Probably. Much too stupid to be out on a date with the likes of Zane.

  ‘Yeah, I want to show Abbie the club.’

  ‘Abbie, is it?’ Jed says, putting out his hand. I take his hand, expecting a handshake, and he kisses the top of my knuckles instead, and then gives Zane that same twinkling smile again. ‘Go in, and ‘ave fun, Abbie,’ he adds.

  Zane leads me through the entry, holding my left hand. It’s a tight grip and I feel slightly more at ease, knowing he’s watching out for me. It’s dark. Almost too dark, to actually see anything. But then, a view of the crowd looms up in front of us. The music is thumping through the floor. I try to convince myself that this is a good thing.

  ‘Come on, Abbie, let’s dance!’ Zane shouts.

  Dance, oh no… I try to loosen his grip but he just holds on tighter and smiles back at me. I sigh.

  He swings me around and holds both of my hands. His hands are sweaty, but not in an unpleasant way. He looks like a kid on Christmas morning. I must say, I wasn’t expecting this from him. Formal, church-going Zane is actually into clubbing. I can’t help but smile. He’s trying to get me to move with him, and he can really move.

  ‘Where did you learn to dance?’ I shout to him.

  He moves his face closer and shouts back, ‘In the mirror!’ and laughs, as he throws his head back.

  I shake my head and let myself enjoy the music. It’s so crowded that nobody notices anyone else. We’re like a swarm of krill, tightly clustered together; migrating over to the bar for replenishment every so often.

  Zane and I dance for a few songs then he takes hold of my hand and leads me over to the bar.

  Turning to me, he shouts over the music, ‘Abbie, do you need to go to the bathroom?’

  I shake my head. I can only imagine how disgusting the toilets will be. Vomit and urine on the floor. Women crowded around the mirror, probably even smoking.

  ‘Okay, well, let’s get some water,’ he shouts back.

  The water is good. Zane stands very close to me. I can feel how hot he is and his shirt is st
uck to his chest now. He isn’t looking at me, though. He’s scanning the room. I do the same. I see people cuddling up to each other. People dancing. Then, my eyes do a double take. Most of these people are same-sex couples. I look back up at Zane. He takes a mouthful of his bottled water and smiles down at me.

  The Lair. The name runs through my mind again as I try to place where I’ve heard it before. The Lair; it’s a gay bar! I beam as it registers. And when I do another scan of the room, it becomes quite apparent that Zane and I are probably the only opposite-sex couple here. That’s why Jed was suppressing a laugh!

  Zane leans into me and shouts, ‘Yeah, Abbie, it’s a gay bar – and you don’t have to be gay to come here. I think it’s the only one in Perth. It’s pretty classy though, wouldn’t you agree?’

  I nod. It’s really exclusive. I realise that the music playing now is R.E.M, one of my favourite bands.

  Zane shouts out, ‘Wanna dance again?’

  I nod and he grabs hold of my hand. He makes me laugh. Really laugh, especially when he’s being silly with his dance moves. My heart is laughing too; even though she thinks I’m not watching.

  ∞~∞~∞~∞

  My curfew is twelve o’clock. Yes, at the age of twenty-one, I still have a curfew. One of the pitfalls of living at home. Mum and Dad say it’s because they can’t sleep properly until we’re all home safe. I think it’s more to do with ensuring that we aren’t out enjoying ourselves too much.

  Zane walks me to the door and bids me goodnight with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I can’t help feeling a little deflated when he doesn’t take it further, but on the other hand, I like that he isn’t pushing things too quickly. With what’s going on in my life right now, this is really what I need the most.

  ‘Can I call you during the week?’ he asks.

  ‘I’d like that. Thanks for taking me out – it was... interesting,’ I pause, ‘and fun,’ I giggle.

  ‘I’m just glad to see your eyes aren’t so grey, anymore.’ He smirks as he turns away and heads back to his car.

  Dad is sleeping in the recliner and Sam is watching Star Wars when I sneak by the lounge room.

  ‘Hey, Sis.’ Sam whispers, without turning from the television.

  ‘Hey.’ I kick off my shoes. My feet are really sore.

  ‘Have a good night?’

  ‘It was really good. We went to dinner, then to The Lair,’ I answer quietly, not really sure if Dad can hear us.

  ‘The Lair? That’s a gay—’

  ‘Gay bar, yeah, and it was really good, really cool music and the people there were – well, very different to the usual pub crowd.’

  ‘Ha, what on earth would make Zane take you there?’

  ‘I don’t know, but he’s a really good dancer and that’s all everyone does, just dance – it was amazing. Everyone just grouped together on the dance floor and at the bar, but always moving. It was so different to anywhere I’ve ever been before and the ladies toilets were so fancy!’

  ‘Yeah, my sister, the expert on nightclubs,’ Sam laughs.

  ‘Oh, okay, so I don’t know much… touché!’ I reply, hitting him playfully on the head. ‘I’m going to bed, goodnight.’

  The night folds around me like a big fluffy blanket and I think about Zane. We’re holding onto each other. Our hearts are pounding to the rhythmic sound of the music. Sensual. This is how I feel. It’s Roberta Flack, I love her songs.

  Zane pulls me closer, so my cheek is resting against his chest and I can feel his heart pulsating. I close my eyes and hum along to, Killing Me Softly.

  When the song ends, Zane doesn’t let me go. I feel him tighten his grip and become rigid. I open my eyes and pull my face away from his chest. The room is slowly turning. I move my eyes around, trying to get my bearings. I must have been in a sort of dream.

  Then I see him.

  He’s moving through the crowd. He’s watching me. Prowling like a panther. I stop moving and Zane doesn’t let go. I try to pull away from him, so I can go to Valentine.

  I can’t breathe. My air is gone.

  Valentine.

  Why isn’t he coming to me? Can’t he see me watching him? Can’t he see me pulling away from Zane?

  Valentine.

  I hear a crashing sound as everything falls in on me.

  Tears fill my eyes and I hear myself whimpering. It’s morning. Another day without Valentine.

  It will be alright, Abbie, just breathe, my intuition says. I think my heart is dying.

  I pull myself up and rub my eyes. I put my hand to my baby bump, she’s safe. I’m not going to dwell on the dream. Today I’m going shopping with Mum and the girls. Dad has given us some cash and we have planned a day of “Retail Therapy” – and I need all the therapy I can get.

  Sam gives us a lift in his Valiant. I realise he hardly rides his bike anymore. I guess we’re both trying to get over Valentine. He tells us he’ll pick us up at five. I have my happy mask on and I’m actually looking forward to a day out with the girls, it’s been ages since we’ve done something like this. We head straight for the baby clothes; I knew this was going to happen.

  ‘Oh Abbie, look at how little this is!’ Jade squeals, as she holds up a tiny little summer dress.

  It’s real. I’m having a baby. A little person, who will wear these tiny clothes. She’ll have tiny hands and feet. I smile at Jade and hold up a small pink cotton hat. ‘Look at this, isn’t it adorable?’

  ‘Okay, girls, let’s get a couple of baby outfits,’ Mum announces.

  ‘I want to get this little dress,’ Jade says, pulling it close to her chest.

  ‘We can’t buy girls clothes just yet. Well, not just girl’s things, we’ll have to get a few jump suits and maybe a dress, and an outfit for a boy.’

  ‘Mum, I know it isn’t a boy.’ I probably sound slightly crazy.

  ‘You can’t know that, Abbie,’ Mum says, pulling a pair of boy’s pants off the rack and matching them up to a cute little checked shirt.

  ‘Mum, I know – really,’ I insist.

  ‘How?’ Mum turns to me now.

  ‘I don’t know, I just do. Sarah and I rubbed my belly when I first thought I was pregnant and we both felt something. It was really weird. I just know I’m having a girl.’

  ‘Okay, well, let’s just get a couple of girlie things and a couple of jump suits.’ She puts the pants back. ‘I actually knew your brother was a boy, but I think that was because I was eating like a savage every couple of hours and my backside was the size of a house,’ she giggled.

  Sam picks us up at five o’clock as planned and we fill his old Valiant’s boot with bags of goodies; mostly baby things, but some cute summer dresses and new bathers for us, too. When we pull into the driveway, there’s a car already waiting.

  A yellow 1966 Mustang.

  Chapter 13

  Zane.

  He smiles and waves to us as Sam pulls his car up behind the Mustang. He looks nice. His jeans are slightly faded and he’s wearing a light blue t-shirt. I actually don’t ever remember seeing him look so casual, or so good.

  ‘Hello!’ he calls out as a general greeting, but looks straight at me. ‘Mrs. Bennet,’ he adds, tapping his fingers in a kind of salute to Mum.

  She beams at him.

  ‘Hi Zane,’ I say, as he comes around to help me out of the car.

  Sam opens the boot and says, ‘Hey Zane, give me hand with this.’

  ‘Sure.’ Zane walks around to peer in and adds, ‘Wow! You girls sure know how it’s done.’

  There are a lot of bags. And as we dump them on the living-room floor and saunter toward the comfort of the lounge-chairs, Mum scrambles off to the kitchen.

  ‘Coffee or tea, Zane?’ she shouts out.

  ‘Tea please, Mrs. Bennet – white with no sugar, thanks,’ he says, helping Jade pull out the contents of the bags.

  ‘Oh, I love this one,’ he says, holding up a little peppermint green and white dress, which was chosen by none other than Jade herse
lf. She looks proud.

  ‘I know! I can’t wait to see my little niece in these dresses!’ she giggles.

  ‘You girls always bring heaps of crap back when you go shopping,’ Sam says, from his stretched out position on the living-room floor.

  ‘This is not crap! Wash your mouth out!’ Izzy chides. She has pulled out the tiny baby suits and is laying them on the coffee table.

  ‘So, Abbie, you definitely know this little package is a girl?’ Zane asks, placing his hand over my belly.

  I automatically place my hand over his. ‘Yes, she is a she,’ I say.

  ‘Well, I hope your intuition is correct, because a little boy is going to look a little too pretty in these dresses,’ he laughs and Jade joins in.

  I haven’t taken off my mask yet, but I feel it slipping. ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ I say, getting up to go and check on how Mum is getting along with the refreshments.

  My intuition has never been wrong – I just haven’t always listened.

  ∞~∞~∞~∞

  The following few weeks blend into one long sunny day. Zane makes me happy. We go to the movies to see Jurassic Park; which I absolutely love. We drive through Applecross and pretend we live there; pulling into the driveways of magnificent mansions and laughing until our cheeks hurt when Zane shouts out, ‘Don’t put the kettle on we aren’t staying’, before quickly reversing out and driving away. We laugh at silly things and tell each other lots of secrets, just like best friends. I adore this about him. We haven’t taken the next step or even kissed properly, but Zane is very affectionate. He’s always holding my hand and trying to make me laugh – which is very easy with him.

  I’ve even managed to suppress my anxiety to a bearable level with breathing exercises and focussing on positive thoughts. I stay away from the television; especially the news and I don’t read romance novels – just in case the depression is triggered. Zane, too, is a wonderful distraction from Valentine and I promise myself daily that eventually my heartache will pass.