I'll Get You for This

by James Hadley Chase

  “Well, you’re doing fine,” I said. “It doesn’t worry you to work for me ?” I grinned to soften the blow, added, “I’m wanted for three murders.”

  He stared at his hat, twisted it, put it on the table. “My view of the matter, Mr. Cain, is you’ve been unjustly accused by an unscrupulous person,” he said.

  I blinked. “You really think that?” I said, glancing at Tim whose mouth had fallen open.

  “Oh yes,” Clairbold said. “I’ve studied the facts very closely. You see, i have my reputation to consider. It wouldn’t do for me to work for anyone guilty of murder. I have satisfied myself that you are an innocent party to the murders.”

  “Pity there aren’t more like you around,” I said. “Well, you have something to tell me, haven’t you?”

  “Yes. I have a full report here,” he said, drawing a sheaf of papers from his pocket.

  I hurriedly waved them away. “Just tell me,” I said. “Reading isn’t my strong suit.”

  He squared his shoulders and fixing his eyes on the wall behind my head, he said, “At ninethirty p.m. this evening, I received instructions from Mr. Davis to shadow Juan Gomez, a jai alai player, suspected of running Cuban nationals between this coast and Havana.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair, looked at Tim, shook my head.

  Clairbold went straight on. “I took up a convenient position where I could observe Gomez without being seen. He was playing on the jai alai court at the time. At the end of the game, I waited in my car at the players’ entrance. Gomez eventually appeared with a red-headed woman I identified as Lois Spence. They drove away in a Cadillac.” He paused to look at his report.

  “Never mind the licence number,” I said, guessing what he was looking for. “Where did they go?”

  He put his report away regretfully. “They took the coast road, and I had no difficulty in following them. The traffic was heavy and I kept two cars behind them. Three miles beyond Dayden Beach there’s a branch road that goes down to the sea. They took this road, and I thought it unwise to follow. My headlights would have revealed my presence. I left my car and followed on foot. At the end of the road I found the Cadillac had been parked, and I observed Gomez and Miss Spence walking along the beach in an easterly direction. There was no cover, and it was impossible to go after them without being seen. Fortunately, they did not go far, and I was able to watch them from behind the Cadillac. They waited for several minutes, then a boat, out at sea, began signalling. Gomez returned the signals with a flash-light, and the boat came in. She was a thirty-footer, painted dark green. She wasn’t equipped with outriggers and had no mast. One of the windshields on the pilot house was broken.” He cleared his throat, holding his hand before his mouth. “I then observed a concrete ramp, cleverly concealed in the sand, had been built out to sea, allowing the boat to come practically up to the beach. The boat tied up to the ramp. Gomez and Miss Spence went aboard.” He paused here, blushed slightly. “My instructions were to find out where the boat was going to. From where I was it was impossible to hear anything. I decided to crawl to the boat, although the risk of detection was considerable. However, I succeeded.”

  I stared at him, imagining him crawling over the white moonlit sand towards a bunch of cutthroats who’d’ve rubbed him out without a thought. My estimation of him went up sharply.

  “That was a nervy thing to have done,” I said, and meant it.

  The blush turned to a deep scarlet. “Well, I don’t know,” he said, rubbing his cheek with his hand. “You see, I’ve had a thorough training.” He hesitated, then blurted out: “Although the Ohio School of Detection teaches through the mail, it doesn’t leave anything to chance. They impressed on me that the art of stalking was a pretty useful thing to learn. I’d practised it quite a bit in my room.”

  Tim choked, coughed, looked away. I scowled at him.

  “Go on,” I said.

  “I succeeded in reaching the concrete ramp, and hid behind it,” Clairbold continued, as if it was just another daily task set by the Ohio School of Detection. “After a while Gomez and Miss Spence came on deck, and I heard what they said. He told her he would leave Havana at nine o’clock tomorrow night, drop his cargo at Pigeon Key, and come back here. She arranged to meet him, and then she left the boat. She drove away in the Cadillac. After further delay, another car arrived and four men, obviously Cubans, went on board.”

  “What were you doing all this time?” I asked, staring at him.

  “I had dug myself a kind of fox-hole in the sand,” he explained, “and buried myself. I kept a newspaper I had with me over my face so I could breathe, see and hear. It was an idea I got from the chapter in my course on watching suspected people in sandy districts.” He brooded for a moment, said: “It’s a very satisfactory course. I—I recommend it.”

  I blew out my cheeks. “It certainly thinks of everything,” I said.

  “The boat pulled away from the ramp and headed for Havana. I gave it time to clear and then I came back here to report,” he concluded.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” I said.

  He looked up. “I—I hope you’re satisfied, Mr. Cain,” he said anxiously.

  “I’ll say I am,” I told him. “Now look, young fellow, you ought to be more careful. This is a tough mob, and you’re taking too many risks. You’ve done a swell job, but I don’t want to lose you.”

  He smiled. “Oh, I can take care of myself, Mr. Cain,” he assured me. “I have learned boxing, and I can shoot.”

  I looked him over and wondered where he had left his muscles. Probably at home, I thought. He certainly hadn’t brought them with him. “Did you learn boxing and shooting through the mail too?” I asked gently.

  He blushed. “Well, yes. I haven’t had a chance yet to try any of it out, but I understand the theory pretty well.”

  This time I didn’t dare look at Tim. I took out my wallet, pushed over two hundred dollar bills, “That’s for being a smart guy,” I said. “Stick around, and I’ll have something more for you before long.”

  His eyes lit up and he picked up the notes eagerly.

  “I’m glad you’re satisfied, Mr. Cain,” he said. “This means a lot to me “ He hesitated, plunged on: “If it’s all right with you, I thought I might investigate this—er—house of ill-fame. Of course, I don’t like going to such a place, but it’s part of my job, isn’t it?” He eyed me hopefully, seriously.

  “It is,” I said gravely.

  “Then you think I might investigate there?”

  “I think it’s a good idea,” I said, nodding. “Only be careful some hussie doesn’t make a play for you.”

  He blushed. “I’m not susceptible to women,” he said earnestly. “It’s part of my training to resist temptation.”

  I pulled at my nose. “Is there a chapter on that too?” I asked blankly.

  “Oh yes,” he said. “They go very fully into that subject in a chapter called ‘Sex and the Selfcontrolled Man’.”

  I whistled. “I’d like to read that,” I said. “Maybe I’d get something out of it too.”

  He said he’d be glad to lend it to me any time, got to his feet and prepared to duck out.

  “Just a second,” I said, pointing to his cocoa-coloured hat “Don’t think I’m being critical, but is it wise to wear a lid like that? There’s nothing wrong with the hat itself. It’s a pretty snappy effort, but if you’re following anyone, isn’t it a little conspicuous? You can see it a mile off.”

  He positively beamed.

  “That’s the idea, Mr. Cain,” he said. “This is a special line that goes with the course. Actually, it’s a trick hat.” He took the cocoa-coloured atrocity off his head, whipped off the band, gave the hat a shake and it turned inside out. He reversed the band. He now had a fawn hat with a red and yellow striped band. “Smart, isn’t it?” he said. “You see, it keeps people guessing. I personally think the hat is worth the money I paid for the whole course. It’s included in the charge.”

  When
he had gone, Tim said, “For crying out loud!” He reached for the Scotch and gave himself a generous shot. He shoved the bottle over to me. “Here, buck yourself up with this.”

  I waved the bottle away. “Not for me,” I said. “I gotta watch my powers of observation.”

  4

  Early the next morning, Tim and I took a trip to Miami, some seventy miles from Paradise

  Palms. We went in Tim’s Mercury convertible, and the trip didn’t take us more than ninety minutes.

  I called in on the Federal Field Office, leaving Tim in the car outside.

  The Federal Agent was named Jack Hoskiss. He was a big, beefy guy, with a shock of blueblack hair, a big fleshy face and humorous eyes. He stood up behind his desk, offered a moist hand.

  I didn’t beat about the bush. “I’m Chester Cain,” I said.

  He nodded, said he recognized me, and what could he do?

  I stared at him. “I’m supposed to have killed three guys,” I reminded him. “Don’t you want to make anything of it?”

  He shook his head. “When Paradise Palms Police Department call us in, we’ll do something about it,” he said, offering me a cigar. “Right now, it’s off our beat.”

  I eyed him over. “Your job is to hold me anyway,” I said.

  “Don’t make it hard for yourself,” he returned, grinning. “You don t have to tell me my job. We have an idea what you’re after.” He glanced out of the window, smiled to himself. “We might be after the same thing.”

  I grinned. “That guy Killeano is nobody’s love child.”

  “It beats me why he hasn’t yet made a false move,” Hoskiss said. “We’ve been watching him for months, but so far he’s been smart. I’d like to get something on him.”

  “So would I,” I said, and slid the five-dollar bill Davis had given me across the desk. “That might interest you.”

  He looked at it without picking it up, looked at me. raised his eyebrows.

  “What’s the idea?”

  “Look at it. It won’t bite.”

  He picked it up, examined it. Then he sat up, bringing his chair straight with a crash. He was interested all right.

  “Where did you get this?” he snapped.

  “Found it,” I said. “There’re a lot floating around Paradise Palms.”

  “Yeah,” he said savagely. He opened a drawer, took out a box and produced a bunch of notes. He compared the one I’d given him, grunted, put it in the box with the others. “They’re good, aren’t they?” he said grudgingly. “We’ve been after that gang for months. But up to now we haven’t a lead. No idea where it came from?”

  “I might make a guess,” I said.

  He waited, but I didn’t enlarge on it.

  “Where?” he asked, when he was sure I’d need persuasion.

  I drew on the cigar, blew smoke on to the desk. “I have a proposition to discuss with you.”

  A thin smile played on his lips. “I thought you might have,” he said, nodding. “Shoot.”

  I told him the story from the time I had hit Paradise Palms. I left Mitchell out of it and where Miss Wonderly was, the rest of it I gave him straight.

  He sat huddled in his chair, a blank look m his eyes, and listened. When I was through, he whistled soundlessly.

  “Why didn’t that fool Herrick come to us?” he said bitterly. “We’d’ve given him all the protection he needed, and helped him clean up. I love these smart guys who hope to surprise us with a completed case.”

  “He didn’t come to you, but I have,” I reminded him gently.

  He looked me over. “Well, what now?”

  “I’m tired of being the fall guy,” I said, flicking ash on the floor. “I’m going to bust Paradise Palms wide open.” I pointed a ringer at him. “That’s why I’ve come to you.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Go on,” he said.

  “Two things, both of them Federal business: smuggling aliens into the country and counterfeiting.”

  “Where’ll that get you with Killeano?”

  I smiled. “That’s my end of it. I’m not giving you all the work to do; just part of it.”

  “Go on.”

  “Tonight a boat will unload a parcel of Cubans at Pigeon Key. They’ll be leaving Havana around nine o’clock. The boat’s a thirty-footer, painted dark green, no mast, no outriggers, broken windshield in the pilot house. I’ll be glad if you’d take care of it.”

  “Sure?”

  “Sure, I’m sure. It’s a hot tip.”

  “Okay, I’ll take care of it.”

  “Another thing. I want Killeano to get the credit for the tip-off. Davis will handle the publicity. Okay with you?”

  He frowned. “What’s the idea?”

  “Just part of the little plot,” I said. “Is it worth your while playing along with me if I turn over the counterfeiting plant and the boys who work it?”

  “It might be,” he said cautiously. “You seem to know a hell of a lot about this business, Cain. Suppose you open out. And don’t think you can use this office to further your own interests, because you can’t.”

  “Now you sound just like a cop,” I returned. “Look, I’m giving you a boat full of undesirable Cubans, and I’m going to show you where this dud money comes from. Where’s your gratitude?”

  He grinned. “Well, okay,” he said, “but don’t start anything we can’t finish.”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” I said. “Come to Paradise Palms on Thursday night. Meet me at 46 Waterside at eleven o’clock and come prepared for trouble. If you can arrange to have some of your boys within reach, so much the better, but they are not to show until trouble starts.”

  He stared. “What’s the idea? That joint’s a brothel. Why there?”

  I winked at him. “Don’t you ever relax, brother?” I asked as I made for the door..

  5

  Six o’clock the following morning, Davis came bursting into my bedroom. I woke with a start, grabbed my gun from under my pillow, saw who it was, sank back.

  “That’s the way guys meet with accidents,” I said crossly, rubbing my eyes. “What time is it?”

  “I like that,” Davis snorted. “I’ve been slaving all through the night and come over here to show you how bright I am, and you talk of accidents.”

  I yawned, lit a cigarette, sat up in bed.

  “All right,” I said. “Shoot.”

  He handed me a copy of the Morning Star.

  “It’s all there,” he said proudly. “Careful how you handle it, the print ain’t dry yet. Howja like it ?” He sat on the foot of the bed, breathing heavily, his eyes alight with excitement. “Gawd knows what Killeano will do to the editor when he sees it. Gawd knows what the editor will do to me if he ever finds out Killeano never said a word of what I’ve said he said. But this is the way you wanted it, and you’ve got it that way.”

  “My pal,” I said, and read the banner headlines:

  CITY ADMINISTRATOR SWOOPS

  NEW POLICE CHIEF’S LIGHTNING ATTACK ON ALIEN SMUGGLERS

  Mysterious Motor-Launch Sunk by Gunfire

  Late last night, Ed. Killeano, Paradise Palms’ City Administrator, in his new capacity of Chief of Police, struck a crippling blow at the Alien smuggling racket.

  Too long has this notorious scandal openly flourished along the coast of our fair city. We, representing the citizens of Paradise Palms, are proud to be one of the first to congratulate the new Chief of Police for tackling this racket so courageously and with such speed. It should be remembered that the former Chief of Police made no attempt to suppress the smuggling racket, and it is all the more to Ed. Killeano’s credit that he has taken such prompt action when only being in office a few hours.

  In an exclusive interview with the Morning Star, Killeano said that he was determined to clean up Paradise Palms once and for all. “Now I have taken over the job of Chief of Police,” he said, “I am showing no mercy to the racketeers hiding in our City. I am going to smoke them out. Let them be warned. I
appeal to my supporters to return me to Office so that I can complete the task I have already begun. This is only a beginning.”

  Acting on information from a secret source, the new Chief of Police ordered Coast Guards to seize a mysterious motor-launch operating off Pigeon Key. A desperate battle ensued, and the motor-launch was sunk, but not before some twelve Cuban nationals lost their lives… .

  There was a lot more in this vein, photographs of the boat half in and half out of the water, of Killeano and the Coast Guards. It was a nice piece of work, and I told Davis so.

  “But wait until Killeano sees it,” he said, scratching his head vigorously. “When he realizes how he’s been committed, he’ll have the shock of his life.”

  “I guess he will,” I said, jumping out of bed. “And there isn’t a thing he can do about it. This is terrific propaganda for his election campaign. He daren’t deny he sold Gomez out: not even to Gomez. And if he did, Gomez wouldn’t believe him.”

  I scrambled into my clothes.

  “Where are you going at this ungodly hour?” Davis demanded. “I’ve never seen such an energetic guy. Me—I’m dead on my feet.”

  “Hop into bed, then,” I said. “After that write-up I wouldn’t deny you anything. I have a date with Gomez.”

  “Yeah?” Davis said, kicking off his shoes “Where do you think you’ll find him at this hour?”

  “With Lois Spence,” I said, making for the door. “If he isn’t there, I can always look at the dame. She interests me.”

  He took off his coat and stretched out on the bed. “She interests me too,” he said with a sigh. “But not with that Gomez thug hanging around. He cools my ardour.”

  I took Tim’s Mercury convertible, drove out to Lexington Avenue. The night staff were still on duty, and I walked over to the hall porter’s cubby-hole.

  “Hello, dad,” I said, smiling at the old boy. “Remember me?”

  He remembered me all right. There’s nothing like a little folding money to impress your personality on anyone.

  “Yes, sir, “he said, brightening up. “I remember you very well, sir.”