Having the Rancher's Baby

by Cathy McDavid

  “Of course not. I never thought that for one second.”

  “I only did with you because you’re important to me. I liked you. A lot. I have from the time you came to Dos Estrellas, though I didn’t always show it.”

  She hoped he saw she was putting herself out there.

  He must have for his voice softened. “We’ve rushed our relationship. Most people start out dating, then they fall in love, get married and have kids. We’re doing things backward.”

  She nodded contemplatively and traveled further out on the limb. “I might be a little in love with you.”

  The long pause that followed was smothering. Her chest ached from oxygen deprivation. When he finally spoke, she barely heard him over the din in her ears.

  “You know I haven’t had any lasting relationships except for the one, and she lied to me.”

  The pregnant woman who’d claimed Cole was the father of her baby in order to snare him.

  Violet stared at him incredulously. “Do you think I’m trying to trap you?”

  “No.” He scowled as if to emphasize his denial.

  “Because I meant what I said. I don’t need you to raise this baby.”

  “I’m simply asking for more time. It’s only been a month.”

  “You’ve spent the night here. We’ve slept together. You said things to me. Things I believed.”

  “I wasn’t lying.”

  The world she’d envisioned for herself felt as if it was breaking into small pieces and slipping between her fingers. “It’s stupid, I know, but I thought you’d change.”

  “I have changed,” he said. “Just, apparently, not into the man you want.”

  She’d hurt him. It was evident by his pained features.

  “It’s not that I can’t or won’t be that man, but you have to be more patient with me.”

  “I’m trying, Cole. You don’t make it easy. You send mixed signals. When we’re intimate, you make me believe what we have is real and full of potential. Then you pull away. Withdraw. Like you are now.”

  “You do, too. Send mixed signals.”

  Did she?

  “One minute you’re pressuring me to commit. The next, you’re claiming you don’t need me.”

  She stood, propelled by anger and disappointment. “You’re right. We’ve been rushing this. Maybe we should take a break. Retreat to our separate corners for a while.”

  “I see,” he said coolly.

  “What do you have to be mad about? I’m giving you what you want. Space. Freedom. No strings.”

  “You don’t like the way the conversation’s going, so you suddenly decide we’re through and I should go home.”

  She rubbed her temple. “I have a headache.”

  He stood abruptly. “However this turns out, I promise to take care of you and the baby.”

  “Sounds...final.”

  “I only asked for time. You’re the one suggesting we split.”

  “A break isn’t splitting. You’re making me out to be the bad guy.”

  “I’m not like my brothers, Vi. I think that’s what you’re hoping for. A man who’s ready to settle down and start a family. Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me.”

  She opened her mouth to speak, only to snap it shut. He would take what she said wrong or twist her words. Their conversation had degraded to that extent.

  “I really think you should go.”

  “This isn’t what I want, Vi.”

  Her temper flared. She knew she should bite her tongue, but she didn’t. “The problem is you don’t know what you want. Or you do and it isn’t me.”

  “Not true.”

  “No, no. You don’t want pregnant me.”

  He shook his head. “I guess I just got my walking papers.”

  She didn’t correct him.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.

  “I’ll call you. When I feel like talking.”

  She didn’t follow him to the entryway. Rather, she stood there in the kitchen, listening to the sound of his retreating footsteps and, seconds later, the closing door.

  Violet slumped into the chair, all the strength in her legs having seeped away, and burst into tears. She’d just sent the father of her child away, possibly for good.

  It might be for the best, only it felt more like the biggest mistake of her life.

  As much as she’d hoped differently, they simply weren’t in the same place at the same time. And while she couldn’t fault Cole entirely, she did. For now.

  Maybe later, she’d look at this more objectively. Maybe later, she’d admit the truth. To herself, at least. She didn’t really want to raise her child alone.

  * * *

  THE CATTLE BUYER from Oklahoma was due in less than a half hour. Joey had been assigned the task of waiting for the man’s arrival at the ranch and then driving him out to meet Cole, Josh and Gabe in section four, where most of the young steers were currently pastured.

  Normally, Vi would have been the one to drive the buyer. Instead, she’d headed home at lunchtime, still adhering to her part-time schedule. Cole thought she might also be avoiding him. They’d been doing that a lot this past week, avoiding each other. Conversing only when necessary. Glancing away when the other approached. Coming up with tasks needing immediate attention as an excuse to leave.

  He was growing tired of it, and of the crummy way he felt.

  Crummy? Who was he kidding? The guilty way he felt.

  He especially hated the emotionally damaged expression Vi continually wore. She was better off without him. Perhaps they’d been foolish to think they could make a go of it. He may have been what she wanted that night in the bar—a diversion to help her forget the news of her parents’ divorce—but he wasn’t what she needed for the long haul. Cole had proved that by failing to rise so much as an inch above the very low relationship bar he’d set for himself.

  The problem was, he missed her like crazy. He could easily, and often did, conjure up her smile, with its gorgeous, sexy dimples. And those green eyes of hers. One minute they’d be flashing with delight, warmth or humor. The next, they’d spark with anger or indignation. Regardless of her mood, she captivated him.

  Not that he liked it when she was mad at him. He did, however, enjoy the many facets of her moods, if only to watch her expressions change as if a magic wand had been waved across her face.

  Her passion for life, her job and her unborn child both inspired and enthralled him. When that passion was directed at Cole, it elevated him to the best version of himself. Though, apparently, he didn’t stay there long and came crashing right back down to ground level. Take last week, for example.

  He hadn’t wanted things to end between them—it was never his intent. Truthfully, he wasn’t completely sure they had ended things until yesterday, when Vi turned abruptly and made a beeline for the tack room rather than cross paths with him.

  Her message couldn’t have been any louder or clearer and it had hit him like a fastball to the chest. The pain had been immediate and left a huge hollow space inside him where his heart had once resided.

  The encounter also caused him to realize how much he’d hurt her. Perhaps irreparably. He hadn’t wanted that, either, but Cole seemed destined for circumstances that changed swiftly and often, neither to his liking nor under his control.

  Well, that last part might be a stretch. He could have done one or two things differently.

  “Hey, Cole,” Josh called. “Get your head in the game, will you? This meeting is important. What’s wrong with you, anyway?”

  “Nothing.”

  Cole shook himself, both physically and mentally, but it didn’t clear the heavy fog of despair surrounding him.

  They’d ridden out to section four in Josh’s truck. C
ole had volunteered to drive, but apparently, after the fiasco when he’d bottomed out in the ravine, he wasn’t considered trustworthy.

  “If you ask me, he’s feeling sorry for himself.” Gabe sent a heated glare in his direction. “I would if I were in his shoes.”

  “Funny.” Cole said drily.

  “You blew it, brother.”

  He hadn’t told anyone about his disagreement with Vi. He wasn’t sure she had, either. Like him, she kept quiet about her personal problems, revealing only bits and pieces. His family, however, was perceptive and accomplished at deciphering bits and pieces.

  Cole had been deflecting jabs for the past couple days, mostly from Josh and Gabe, through Raquel had gotten in on the action. Vi, from what he’d seen and heard, was receiving only support and sympathy.

  No one in the family was happy about their fight. They acted as if Cole had argued with them rather than Vi.

  The one bright note was that all the parents had gone home. Before leaving, Julia and Edgar Hathaway apologized to Raquel for the scene they’d caused. Cole’s mother had not. Not to him and Josh and not to Cara, her future daughter-in-law. Cole doubted she’d be returning to Mustang Valley any time soon and continued to press her case for one of them to move home.

  “Lay off me, will you?” Cole complained. Leaning his back on the truck door, he tugged his hat low to shade his face and block his view of his brothers.

  Not to be ignored, Gabe came up beside him and propped an elbow on the hood. “You brought this on yourself,” he said, without a trace of sympathy.

  Not entirely by himself. Disagreements required two or more people. But Gabe and the other Dempseys had known Vi for over ten years and loved her like family. Their relationship with Cole was new and untried. Put in a position to choose sides, they’d likely pick Vi’s.

  Today, that left the three brothers standing awkwardly in the middle of Dos Estrellas’s six hundred acres as they waited for the cattle buyer who could, if he liked the steers, solve most of their financial problems.

  “You should marry her,” Gabe said.

  “You think I didn’t ask?”

  Josh sauntered over. “Did you?”

  “What? You two get together ahead of time and strategize?” Cole glanced accusingly at Gabe first, then Josh.

  “Answer the question.”

  “Not exactly.” Cole would have tugged his hat lower on his face if he thought it would do any good.

  Instead, he glanced at his phone, checking the time, then studied the horizon and the dirt road leading to the pasture gate. “Shouldn’t Joey and this Maitlin guy be here? It’s after two.”

  “Why not?” Gabe move closer. “She not good enough for you? She’s having your baby.”

  “She’s too good for me.” Cole chuckled bitterly. “I promised her I’d take care of her and the baby. Except I can’t. Not without some kind of salary coming in. The only way I know of to earn money is rodeoing. Only she doesn’t want me to go on the road. What the hell else do I have to offer her? Third ownership in a ranch that isn’t turning a profit?”

  Josh shook his head dismally. “You’re right. She is too good for you.”

  “You have an answer? Because I’m all ears.”

  Gabe didn’t say anything, but there was a noticeable change in his expression as the hard set of his jaw lessened.

  Thankfully, Cole was spared further interrogation by the appearance of a vehicle in the distance, rumbling along the dirt road that cut across the adjoining section. “Looks like our buyer is here.”

  Cole was less sure of the sale going through than his brothers, who both assumed all that remained was to sign on the dotted line. Perhaps he’d been disappointed once too often and didn’t like counting on something before it was a done deal.

  He did understand their excitement even if he couldn’t share it. With over four hundred steers to sell, and current prices on the rise, they could make a fair profit.

  More than that, the ranch would have a surplus of cash, something they’d done without since Cole’s father became sick. They hadn’t discussed in detail what they’d do with the money if the sale went through, what bills they’d pay after the balance owed to the cancer treatment center.

  When the truck with Joey and Maitlin arrived, they made introductions all around and proceeded to the fence line for a gander at the steers. The long-distance inspection was followed by a closer one. Joey stayed behind while the four men traveled in one truck, driving down a ridge that took them nearer to the herd. They stopped when the steers appeared uneasy, not wanting them to run, and got out, approaching the rest of the way on foot.

  The inspection took more than an hour. Maitlin had a lot of questions. He recorded voice notes on his phone and took a dozen pictures. Afterward came the negotiations. Cole let Gabe take the lead, as the most knowledgeable, with Josh, as ranch manager, making contributions. Cole mostly observed. And learned.

  Would it matter? If he left Mustang Valley, he’d never put his newfound learning to use.

  What with all the notes and pictures Maitlin took, Cole expected the cattle buyer to thank them for their trouble, leave and, hopefully, call later with a lowball offer. Instead, he made one right then and there.

  Gabe countered as smoothly as if he’d been expecting it all along. Maitlin smiled, and the negotiations were under way. In the end, they reached a deal and shook hands to seal it. Maitlin pulled a checkbook from his pocket and wrote one out to cover the down payment. The transport trucks would arrive within the next two to three days and the remaining funds sent by wire for deposit into the ranch checking account.

  Cole was admittedly impressed by his brother. The deal wasn’t a bad one. They’d talked ahead of time, deciding on the minimum price they’d take. Gabe had negotiated an amount that was marginally better.

  Maitlin declined their invitation to dinner. He was due in St. Johns by seven the next morning.

  “Good job,” Cole said, when Maitlin drove off with Joey.

  “Damn good.” Josh clapped Gabe hard on the shoulder. “Shall we celebrate? Meet up at the Poco Dinero after dinner?”

  The bar where Cole and Vi’s relationship began. Hard to believe nearly three and a half months had passed since then. Hard to believe their relationship had ended before it really began.

  “I’ll check with Reese,” Gabe said. “What about Cara?”

  Josh grinned. “I’m sure she’ll be up for it.” He turned to Cole. “Guess there’s no point in you asking Violet.”

  “She might come if the whole family’s going. She’s more likely to come if I stay away.”

  “Dammit, Cole.” Gabe blew out an exasperated breath. “You screwed up.”

  He felt compelled to defend himself. “Did it ever occur to you, to either of you, that she screwed up?”

  Josh scowled. “You can’t be serious.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Only if you let it be. What you need to do is go to her, tell her you’re sorry, get down on your knees and beg her forgiveness. Promise whatever you have to promise. I did that with Cara.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “I’m as good as broke. How can I go to her when I have nothing?”

  “Take this.” Gabe folded the down payment check in half and slipped it into Cole’s shirt pocket. “That ought to be enough.”

  Cole whipped the check out and pushed it at Gabe. “No way.”

  “Consider it the first payment for your share of the ranch.” Gabe looked to Josh for confirmation. “We’ll pay you more when the wire comes in for the balance.”

  Josh nodded his approval.

  “No.” Cole laughed. “Are you nuts? There are bills to pay. The ranch needs this money.” Again he tried to return the check to
Gabe.

  “You want out, Cole. You have from day one.” Gabe gave him a hard stare. “Here’s your chance. You’ll have more than enough money to take care of your child. Then you can return to the rodeo circuit or go to California. Whatever you want.”

  Cole fingered the check. He thought of his last bull ride, of the excitement coursing through him and the thrill of competing in the finals.

  It paled in comparison to holding Vi in his arms and seeing the image of their child on the ultrasound screen.

  “Do you think it’s possible? To be happily married? To love someone for the rest of your life?”

  “Damn straight I do.” Gabe grinned. “I’m counting on it.”

  “Kind of a strange remark, coming from a guy whose parents never married.”

  “It worked for them. It wouldn’t work for Reese and me. A commitment is important to her. Marriage. The whole nine yards. I wouldn’t ask her to settle for less.”

  “Ditto for Cara,” Josh said.

  Cole had asked Vi to settle. He’d suggested they live together. Had that been because, deep down, he was afraid of taking that final step? One that might land him in the same position as his parents?

  “Take a few days and think about it,” Josh said.

  Cole wasn’t sure his brother was advising him to think about marrying Vi or taking the check and leaving.

  “What about your wedding?” he asked Gabe. “I don’t want to miss it.”

  “You can fly back.”

  He wished Gabe had made more of an objection.

  Unfolding the check, Cole stared at it. The amount was no pittance. This was what he’d wanted the day the attorney read his father’s will. A fistful of money. Now, he had it.

  What he didn’t have, something he’d vowed to earn and keep, was the respect of his brothers. That was the reason he’d sold his roping horses last fall.

  Could he leave without it? Was having enough money to support his child worth the trade-off?

  Believing he had the answer, he pocketed the check, walked around to the passenger side door and climbed into the truck.

  Chapter Fourteen