I snorted.
We literally knew nothing about our children.
Not their sizes when they were born. Not what color hair they had, or whether they were boys or girls. They were identical, that we knew. So, they were either both girls or both boys. But other than that, we knew nothing.
"Let's do this."
Reed pushed into the room backwards like he was heading into surgery, his gloved hands extended in front of him. Mask in place securely over his nose and mouth. His eyes, though.
They showed his fear.
He was just as nervous as me, but he was trying not to show it.
I stood up, and walked through, coming to a stop just inches inside the room.
It was overwhelming.
The overhead lights were dark. Machines were everywhere. Lights were blinking almost everywhere in a strobe-like effect. It was hot. And the crying. All of the babies sounded like they were crying.
The room itself was square, and huge infant incubators were taking up the majority of the room.
Ten in total.
Since this was a smaller county hospital, they didn’t have individual rooms for the babies. No, they were all crammed into this one too-small space. There was a counter high station right inside the door, and one nurse was typing away on the computer, not even looking up.
My eyes went for the nurse that I’d seen come to my room twice over the last week that I’d been in the hospital.
She was standing in between two of the huge glass-domed beds, a chart in her hand.
I made my way to her, knowing with certainty that she was next to my children.
She had other babies, of course, but I just knew that they were mine.
Like a homing beacon was inside of me, guiding my way straight to my babies.
Every step I took caused a twinge. One in my belly. One in my side. One in my back.
It didn’t matter, though.
Nothing did but meeting the babies that were mine.
Mine and Reed’s.
My steps were slow, and Reed stayed at my side, keeping the same pace.
When we arrived at the woman, my eyes automatically skittered every which way.
There was too much to look at. Machines. Lights. Monitors. Papers hanging off the incubators.
My eyes focused on the nurse.
She was writing something down, and when I got closer, I realized that it said, ‘Feeding Schedule’ on the top in bold black letters.
“They eat a lot,” I breathed, looking at all the times she’d written down.
The nurse smiled, and then gestured to the baby to her right. “This one just ate. I’m feeding baby B next!”
I looked over at baby A, and fell in love.
Tiny…so freakin’ tiny.
The baby looked like a doll. Honest to God, if I didn’t see the baby’s chest rising and falling, I would’ve said it was one.
One of those tiny ones that look small, even in a toddler’s arms.
“Oh, God,” I breathed.
Reed’s hand tightened at my hip.
I wanted to pick the baby up and cuddle it.
“You can’t hold them yet,” she murmured softly, reading my thoughts. “Their skin is like paper, and tears easily. You can touch them, though. Just be super careful.”
I swallowed.
I didn’t want that—their skin to tear.
Not at all.
“My mother happen to be here today?”
I blinked, surprised that I hadn’t remembered that Reed’s mother freakin’ worked in the NICU.
“Not today, no. She works opposite shifts of me. So, when I’m here, she’s not, and vice versa,” the nurse, her name was Temperance, explained. “But she’s gotten a lot of lovins in on these boys.”
Boys.
Holy, holy shit.
“Boys?” I squeaked.
The nurse grinned. “Boys.”
“Holy crap,” I breathed. “You gave me two boys, Reed.”
Reed was grinning ear to ear, and I could tell he was just as happy as I was.
Not that I didn’t want a girl—eventually—I just had always seen us having boys first.
I moved to the incubator and peered in the side, my eyes taking everything in at once.
The lines running every which way. One attached to his foot with what looked like a Band-Aid. Another one attached to the left side of his chest, followed by another on the right. There was an IV line in the baby’s head.
Oh, God.
His head.
I moaned.
Reed squeezed my hip again.
“You can do this if you’d like.”
I looked at her over my shoulder, wondering what she wanted me to do.
“What?”
I’d do anything.
“Hold this right here.” She gestured with her head to the tube cylinder she was holding. “It’s the milk that he’s eating for this hour.”
Reed took the tube from her and gestured me forward.
I didn’t want to leave the baby I was staring at, but I couldn’t not do it.
I wanted to do it.
I moved to the other incubator.
The tube was nothing more than a syringe with the plunger part taken off. It was bigger than I’d seen, but not by much. It was also filled to the brim with milk.
“Do I just hold it?”
She nodded, as did Reed.
The moment my hand touched down on the plastic, I started to cry.
Reed’s hand wrapped around me. After placing a kiss to my forehead, he gestured with his head to the other incubator. “I’m gonna go check out Bruiser over there.”
I giggled, but was unable to take my eyes off of the baby boy on the white bed in front of me.
“Do you have to burp him?” I suddenly asked.
She shook her head, but it was Reed who answered me. “No. Since he’s on a feeding tube, he’s not sucking back air like a healthy baby would when they were eating. This one has your eyes. All slanted and angry.”
I snorted and licked my lips.
I practically itched to press my lips to the little boy’s tiny little nose.
This one…he looked like his daddy.
He had a head full of black hair, wide open grayish/blue eyes, and a nose that he’d have to one day grow into like his father had.
His hands were tiny…much smaller than anything I’d ever seen in my life. The entire little fist was about the size of a quarter.
His foot was about the size of a piece of Hershey’s chocolate—the fun sized.
“Hey, baby,” I whispered, my hand going to the glass just like I’d done with his brother.
“Do you have names for them yet?”
My eyes flicked up to Temperance.
“Uhh,” I hesitated. “Kind of.”
“Kind of?” she asked teasingly.
I nodded and looked over my shoulder at Reed.
“You tell her.”
Reed chuckled.
This name thing had been hard as hell.
It’d taken us almost a month to name Pepé, and he was a puppy.
Naming a child was a huge commitment.
It’d taken us nearly two weeks of going back and forth over names before we found two that we adored.
“Do you want the D, or the B?”
I looked down at the baby that I was feeding.
“B.”
“Baby A is Dash. Baby B is Bax.”
Baxter and Dashiell. Both completely random names that we’d found in a baby book but had both liked.
“Love it,” the nurse said. “I’ll write that down in their charts. I’m only assuming this, but the last name is Hail, correct?”
She knew a little about us, I saw.
Momma Hail didn’t completely hate me if she talked about me…right?
“Yes,” I confirmed before Reed could. “We’re getting married
once the babies are out of here.”
My absent-minded comment caused the man, who’d been talking quietly to his son, to stop speaking almost instantly.
I looked over my shoulder at him and saw he was watching me with excitement.
“You’re saying yes?”
I laughed. “We’ll see.”
He growled. “I’ll ask you right now.”
I laughed. “I’m wearing your ring already, Reed. Asking me is only a formality at this point. I wanted to make you sweat.”
“Well, you accomplished that,” he muttered. “You done?”
I looked down at the syringe and saw that it was almost empty.
“Maybe?”
He left the baby he was standing near, and came to me, deftly removing the syringe and doing doctor things as I stared at our baby’s face.
“You like this,” I murmured.
He nodded. “The babies are my favorite part of my job.” He paused. “I don’t often interact with ones this small. I did do a few rotations in the NICU during my residency, though. If I ever had to pick a new specialty, this would be the place I’d go.”
As I studied my baby, I suddenly blinked when I saw that he didn’t have any eyebrows.
“He doesn’t have any eyebrows!” I murmured.
“Or nails or eyelashes,” Reed agreed. “Completely normal.”
I looked, and indeed, he didn’t have any fingernails or eyelashes, either.
“Holy shit,” I murmured. “You’re right.”
He snorted. “I know.”
A pitiful whine from behind me had me moving to the other bed, and I smiled when I saw Dash’s head moving side to side.
“God, I want to hold you so bad,” I murmured.
“You can touch him,” the nurse, who I hadn’t been aware was still there, said. “Just don’t hold onto him.”
I looked at my fingers, suddenly seeing weapons in my fingernails where before I would’ve seen just nails.
Carefully, I lifted one finger and ran it over the top of Dash’s head.
“So soft,” I murmured. “Like a little peach.”
The nurse giggled. “Exactly like one,” she agreed.
And so, it went.
Reed and I bounced between both kids until I was too exhausted to stand. When that happened, they found me a chair and I sat at Dash’s bedside. Then moved ten minutes later to Baxter’s.
Over and over until visiting hours ended.
When the new nurse, the night one, came in, everything literally stopped.
The parents that had been quietly looking at their own babies started to leave, and I realized that I was expected to go, also.
I wanted to cry.
Reed touched the tips of his fingers to my face, and then smiled knowingly.
“Let’s go,” he murmured. “We’ll be back early.”
We would.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
***
I hated leaving, but the NICU had strict policies that they adhered to when it came to visitors.
Not that I could complain. Those strict policies were protecting my two boys, and I wouldn’t fault them for that.
“What now?” Reed asked.
Confused, I looked up to find him standing directly beside me, but his eyes were on the tall man that was leaning against the wall opposite of where we were exiting.
His eyes were hard, and surprisingly soft at the same time. As if he felt for what he was about to do.
“Do y’all have a minute?”
Chapter 19
Twatapotamus: a thing you’re being right now.
-Text from Krisney to Reed
Reed
“Do y’all have a minute?”
I wanted to snarl that we didn’t, but I knew that this couldn’t be avoided any longer. I’d been putting him off for over a week to have his discussion with Krisney. It was time.
I’d given my family all the time I could. If they hadn’t found Caria by now, it was time to involve the cops.
My eyes took in the detective.
He wasn’t anyone that I knew, which meant he was probably new.
Which was a good thing seeing as Hostel hasn’t had the best police department for years. Anything had to be better than what they had.
At one point, the entire police department had been put under investigation. They wouldn’t have put a new guy in there unless he could prove himself.
I hoped.
“Kris,” I murmured. “This is the detective over your case.”
Krisney wasn’t stupid. She was, in fact, rather smart when it came to life in general.
And she saw, just as well as I did, that this man wasn’t the laid-back man he was trying to portray.
Then again, we’d both been active duty military for a while before we’d gone reserve. We weren’t new to the game.
Krisney offered her hand to the detective, and then gestured toward a couple of seats at the end of the hall.
“I’m about to fall over,” she admitted. “If I don’t sit, I might fall.”
The detective didn’t even hesitate.
He let go of her hand and held his arm out for her to do what she needed to do.
Which made me proud of her.
I was happy that she wasn’t trying to push her limits.
She’d just gotten released from the hospital earlier that morning. Technically she should’ve been at home, resting.
But I knew better.
At least this way I’d been able to keep an eye on her, and make sure that she didn’t overdo it.
But now I wondered if I’d have to do that at all. The woman was so fucking smart that it hurt.
“Your fiancé is right,” the detective said. “I’m the detective over your case. My name is Officer Cree, Tyler Cree.”
“Nice to meet you,” Krisney said as she sat.
The relieved look on her face made me wonder if I’d need to get a wheelchair for her to get to the truck with. The one she’d taken down here was gone the moment she got out of it.
“I wish we’d met under different circumstances.” He paused. “How are the children?”
Krisney’s smile lit up her entire face. “They’re small, but they’re fighting.”
He nodded. “Good to know.” He sighed and took a seat, the one opposite us, and started. “I want to know what happened. Do you have time…are you up for it?”
Kris looked down at her hands. “Where do you need me to start?”
“Start with how you met Caria.”
Krisney looked at me.
“That would be where I come in, I suppose.” I cleared my throat. “I started work here when Krisney was sixteen weeks pregnant. That was four months ago.”
He nodded, his eyes on me. “Okay.”
“Caria was already at the doctor’s office when I started. We’ve had no relationship beyond that of co-workers whatsoever. There was one occasion when we went out to get coffee for the entire clinic, and another after I had just started, when we went out for lunch as a group with a few other members of the staff.”
I could feel Krisney’s eyes on me as I spoke, just as curious about my relationship with Caria as the detective was.
Krisney and I hadn’t spoken much about anything after our surgeries. At least when it came to Caria, and why she did what she did.
Honestly, I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to think about it.
If I thought about it, then I wanted to commit murder. And that was in direct violation of my oath as a doctor.
Surely there was an exception, though. One that said if she tried to murder the love of my life while she was pregnant with my children then she was allowed to get what was coming to her.
“I had no further involvement with her outside of work other than that one coffee run and the one group lunch,” I told them both.
The same coffee run that I knew for a fact that Kr
isney had seen me while on. The one that had convinced me never to go anywhere alone with Caria again to do anything, no matter how much she begged me to go.
“Okay.” Detective Cree nodded. “Tell me about your experiences with her.”
A command, though put rather nicely, but still a command, nonetheless.
“I didn’t have much of any relationship with her. I barely ever saw her other than at the office, and all of those times were never alone. The other nurse, Opal, who is Reed’s personal nurse, was with her ninety nine percent of the time. The other one percent, Reed was with her.”
“Opal is my nurse, and not a suspect from what I can tell,” I told him. “She’s the one who goes with me to the hospital and helps me by performing vitals, like blood pressures, reading results, sitting in on exams and is basically my right hand.”
He nodded. “We’ve cleared Opal, as well as others in the office. They all corroborate your story.”
“It’s not really a story,” Krisney admitted. “It’s the truth.”
He nodded. “Then they’ve corroborated your truth.”
She nodded.
“Tell me about the day she gave you the oil.”
So Krisney did, recounting everything that happened, including waking up later that night, scared to death.
“Pennyroyal, you say?”
I nodded. “Pennyroyal.”
“I’ll have to research that,” he said. “Dr. Torres, as well as the lab, explained that this was detrimental to pregnancy.”
“Not only pregnancy, but yes,” I said. “Very dangerous.”
Detective Cree pulled out a tiny notebook from his left breast pocket.
“I have two more things,” he said, flipping through the pages. “Are either one of you aware that Caria tried to buy the property that Krisney now owns?”
Krisney’s mouth dropped open in surprise.
Mine didn’t.
I’d known that almost a year ago.
I hadn’t put two and two together, though, until much more recently.
“I blocked her from buying the property,” I admitted. “Apparently her family had owned it at one point. Her grandfather wouldn’t sell it to her, though. His family blocked his wishes for how his wife was to be buried, and he hadn’t talked to them since. When I came along a few years later, I started paying the taxes on his land, as well as ‘rent’ as you could say.” I looked at Krisney. “I don’t know how much of our relationship you know, but we were high school/college sweethearts.”
The Hail You Say Page 16
