The idea is unsettling, too. Terrifying, even. Because it means making a choice between pursuing my career in the big city, and staying here with him.
I don’t know what to do.
“Why don’t you play something you wrote?” Karen whispers.
I’m torn from my thoughts and gape at her with confusion, processing her words. “Um … I don’t know. Mind if I try this with other songs first?”
“Sure. I get it; you’re not comfortable having them hear it yet.” She winks at me, and I want to refute what she says, because that’s not the reason at all, but I don’t. It’s too much of a hassle.
“But go on, play what you like. You’re already drawing in so many customers, and I’m loving it!” She claps her hands, and walks away to the bar to pour some drinks.
Madeline jumps off the stool again, already bored and distracted by a lamp in the corner that flicks on and off. It makes me laugh, but now that she’s gone it makes it easier to play some really difficult songs, too.
I play another song, but then I see Nicole coming in, and I’m distracted. I try to continue playing when Karen shoots me a look that could kill. Nicole takes off her coat and walks straight past Jack, not realizing it’s him I was talking about. She comes over to me and pats me on the shoulder.
“Hey, Amy.”
“I can’t believe you actually stayed.”
“Of course I did! I’m not going to leave until you tell me your plan.”
As if I know that yet … God, I hate deciding these things. It makes me wish I could just stop time for a second.
“What are you up to?” she says.
“Getting paid to play. Awesome, huh?” I whisper, hoping it won’t disturb the customers.
Her mouth drops open. “What? Seriously? Omigod!” Her huge smile is making me blush, and I scoot over so she can sit next to me.
“Damn, I wish I brought my guitar. We could be playing together. You and me again. Just like always,” she says, as we both start playing the piano again.
Our combined efforts make the songs even more beautiful. But her words strike a chord in my heart that I’d rather not feel. It reminds me of what I’ve been missing all this time. Playing in a band with her, crossing the land, trying to get a record deal. God, I miss the anxiety right before a show, the people whistling and clapping right after, the endless struggle to make it big. I miss it all.
Karen walks to us with a drink in her hand, her hips swinging, which I’ve never seen before. She leans over the piano, her boobs so overwhelmingly bulging over her clothes, it’s making me wince. “Here you go, darlin’,” she says, and smiles slyly at Nicole.
“But I didn’t order anything,” Nicole stammers, her cheeks reddening.
“I know, doll. It’s on the house.” Karen purses her lips and hands the drink to Nicole. Her fingers linger a little too long on Nicole’s hand.
Nicole blushes and takes a gigantic sip from the drink as Karen darts off again.
“That’s sweet,” she mutters, in between drinking. “And it’s delicious, too!”
I chortle a bit. I know where this is going. I recognize that look I saw in Karen’s eyes. I’d recognize it anywhere, no matter if it were a boy or a girl.
“She digs you,” I say.
Nicole spurts out her drink. “What?”
“You heard me. I think she likes you.”
Nicole gasps and puts down her glass. “You think?”
I nod. “Definitely. And I’m not talking about the ‘friends’ type. I’ve never seen her so peppy before. It’s as if she’s a completely different person when she sees you or even talks to you. Even if it’s only two words.” I snort.
“Hmm …” Nicole takes another sip, and I swear I can see her cheeks getting even redder than before. Sometimes she glances at Karen while still playing the piano, and the looks they exchange makes me muffle a smile.
“So, where’s your man at,” Nicole says, with a wink.
“Right there.” I tilt my head at Jack’s table.
“What? Where?” Her head perks up like a meerkat checking to see where the danger is.
“Don’t be so obvious!” I say, and I poke her.
“Oh … Oh!” Her tone of voice increases to a higher pitch at the second ‘oh’. “Oh my god … He’s hot!”
I shake my head. “Nicole, shhh,” I say. She’s so loud, I’m afraid he’ll hear, and that’d be so embarrassing.
“What? He is! Check out those muscles. He has to be a friggin’ god in bed.”
“Nicole!” I shove her aside, and she almost falls off the stool.
“You can’t convince me he isn’t,” she says. “God, I can’t wait to talk to him. I’m going over there.” She stands up.
“No, wait!” I say, trying to snatch her shirt, but she’s run off already, and I’m still clinging to the piano. Karen gazes at me again and the look in her eyes doesn’t predict anything good. It’s almost like a threat that I have to keep playing or else …
Meanwhile, Nicole grabs a chair near Jack’s table and introduces herself. Anxiously, I watch their faces to see if I can discover what they think of her. I already know what she thinks of him. I direct my attention toward the piano again and try to play some music.
Then the door to the bar opens and slams shut. Someone stomps inside and screams, “Amy!”
My eyes are immediately drawn to the voice. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I freeze, and the music stops. My breath falters, and my heart drops to my shoes.
It’s Ronnie Keston.
Chapter 7
Amy
Ronnie stumbles into the bar like a drunken bastard, his coat caught by a table. He lets it drape off him before continuing on his destructive path toward me. He looks miserable with his unshaven beard and dark sunken eyes. But he’s here, and I can’t stop staring at him.
Oh my god.
“What the hell?” I scream as I slam my fists on the piano.
Ronnie struggles to get to me, but when he does, I immediately scramble away from the chair and back away into a corner far away from him.
“Amy … it’s really you,” he says, his voice changing in pitch with every word.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Ronnie?”
A chair scoots back with a lot of noise, and I can see it’s Jack standing up, his stance aggressive and ready to strike if need be.
“Looking for you,” Ronnie says. “Oh, Amy, I miss you so much.”
“Stay away from me!” I inch back and hold out my hands when he tries to get closer. “How the heck did you find me here?”
“I snuck into Nicole’s apartment and searched her phone for your address.”
Nicole’s eyes widen and she gasps. She, too, gets up and stands there, gaping. We’re all surprised he’s here, and that’s the understatement of the year.
“You did what?”
“Please, Amy. I did it for you. My god, you don’t know what a wreck I’ve been since you left me.”
“And I’m supposed to care?” I say, folding my arms.
Ronnie just gazes at me, his eyes glazed with tears. His black hair is all ruffled up and looks like a mess. He looks like a total mess. I’ve never seen him in scruffy jeans before and especially not with a ripped shirt. His face is red, and I can smell he’s been drinking. I don’t need to be close to smell that stench.
But seeing him here brings back a lot of thoughts I don’t want to think about. Memories I’ve blocked out. Memories of us hugging until late in the evening, watching the stars, him helping me fight off the bullies, kissing him.
Damn, why the hell did he have to come here and ruin everything again?
Ronnie turns around and grabs a beer from someone’s table, indulging on the liquor. He’s really gone crazy now. He blows out a deep breath and slams the bottle back on the table again.
Then he goes on all fours.
“Amy, please. I beg you. Forgive me, please!” He holds his hands in the air, almost like a prayer, as if he’s offe
ring me his very soul. I can see the hurt in those puppy dog eyes as he looks up at me. Even after everything he’s done, I can’t believe my heart is cracking. After all the shit I’ve been through because of him, I still feel sorry for him. I feel pity for him, and I don’t want to see him like this. No matter what he did to me, he was still my second best friend for all those years. All those memories can’t be taken away in a whiff.
“I can’t …” I mutter.
Ronnie gets up again. The look in his eyes is so extremely painful, it’s almost too much to look at. Suddenly he snatches the bottle again and smashes it against the floor.
I shriek and cover my face with my arms. Jack storms to us and pushes Ronnie, who falls down on his ass.
“What the fuck!” Jack screams.
“Is that him, huh? Is that your boyfriend?” Ronnie shouts.
I freeze from the words, but Jack’s all pumped up and in his fighting stance. I need to do something before they attack each other.
“That’s it, dude. You’re outta here,” Karen says, and she busts in on our not so private conversation. I’m glad she breaks them up before anyone gets hurt, though.
She hauls Ronnie up to his feet with no problem and shoves him to the door, slamming it behind him. “And don’t you come back here!”
“I’ll come back for you,” Ronnie shouts, bashing his hands against the window. Each slam makes me jolt up. Then he storms off into the distance, and I’m left completely baffled.
The whole bar has gone quiet, and I feel as though I’m in the center of a giant stage getting egged. That’s not even close to how embarrassed I feel.
Karen grabs my hand and pushes a couple of bills into the palm. “Here, for your trouble. I guess you’d like to get some rest now.” And then she starts cleaning up the pieces of glass and beer that’s splashed onto the floor.
Flabbergasted, I look at the money in my hand as Nicole rushes over to me.
“Amy, are you okay?” she says, and she pulls me in for a hug.
“Yeah … I guess,” I stammer.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t know he was capable of that kind of crap.” She looks me in the eye. “Damn … he’s really pulled some crazy shit now. I can’t believe he broke into my apartment and checked my phone! Dammit.”
Jack soothes Madeline who’s crying from the whole ordeal, and then checks up on me, too.
“Hey, you okay?” he says, dragging me toward him for a firm hug. His arms are warm, but his muscles are still tense from the fight mode he was in. He cups my face and looks me straight in the eye, as if he doesn’t think I’m going to speak the truth.
He knows me way too well.
I swallow. Of course I can’t say I’m okay. I’m shocked and feel split in two. Ronnie, of all people, came to this place. And he did it to find me.
I’m still trembling in place. I can’t believe he was actually here. It’s as if two worlds that absolutely do not belong together are meshing.
Jack squeezes my back lightly as he waits for my answer. It’s almost as if he’s trying to keep me from falling apart.
I nod softly, but I only do it for him. I don’t want him to worry about me, although it’s totally valid to do so. I’m shattered.
***
Jack
My fucking god. That was really her ex.
I can’t believe that little shit bag was here.
My blood is still pumping just from the memory of him. He looked like a giant pile of shit, and from the way he was wobbling I could see he’d been drinking. A lot.
He was Ronnie motherfucking Keston, the asshole that made Amy cry.
Who the fuck does he think he is showing up here?
My fingers curl up into a fist, but I force myself to relax again. I don’t want Amy to see this side of me, this person I can become if I’m confronted with people who have hurt my family. And I consider Amy my family, now, regardless of our relationship.
Of course I’m hoping that he’ll leave, and that she’ll soon forget about him, but who am I kidding? He just made a threat not to leave her alone again. I’m sure that fucker is going to come for her again.
And I’ll be ready to smack him into oblivion.
I get Amy to the car where she starts sobbing like crazy, and I don’t know what to do. Nicole went after Ronnie in the hopes of convincing him to get the fuck out of here again. But I don’t think he’s going to give Amy up so easily.
At least, I wouldn’t.
Amy buries her head into my chest, and I hold her tight to help her deal with this. She’s shaking, and I rub my palm across her spine to calm her down. I don’t want her to feel this way, and I have to do my best not to go after him myself, because I need to be here to console her.
When the tears stop flowing, she wipes her cheeks with what’s left of my dry shirt, and lets her head rest on the seat. In the mean time, I put Madeline in the car and buckle her up before getting in myself.
I have to drive hard and fast to get away from this town as fast as possible. I don’t want to stay here another minute. Not another second do I want to spend thinking about that asshole, but I do. It’s because I know she’s hurting, and it’s his fault, and I want to kick him in the balls for it.
When we get home, I put Madeline to bed and kiss her goodnight. She pulls my shirt, though, and I struggle to get loose without hurting her.
“Daddy, who was that man?”
“No one, Madeline,” I say, sighing.
“But he wanted to be with Amy,” she says.
“Nobody wants to be with someone like him.”
“But he seemed really sad, daddy. Can’t we be friends?”
Just the mere thought of being friends with someone who did that to Amy makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “No. He is a bad man, Madeline.” I lean down and look her in the eye, and she draws back. I know I’m frightening, but I can’t help it. “He is a very, very, bad man.”
“Okay …” she says.
She lets go of my shirt, and I sigh loudly again. I’m basically telling a little kid that Amy’s ex is a boogeyman. I’m not really any better than him, honestly.
“Don’t worry about it, Maddy. The grown-ups will take care of it, all right?”
She nods and wriggles her way under the blanket while I pull it up. “Sweet dreams.” I kiss her on the forehead and leave the room.
Amy’s just coming upstairs holding a tea mug in her hand. Her eyes are red, but she still looks beautiful. She stops and glances at both doors, one leading to the guestroom and one leading to my room. Then she looks at me.
“Uh …” I stammer.
I swallow and step closer a bit. She’s leaning against the banister, sipping her tea, and I put my hands next to her. I’m drawn to her like never before. I want to hold her and tell her it’s okay. Drawing closer, I smile and say, “Sleep in my bed tonight.”
She bites her lip like she always does, making me focus on it. They’re raw and rosy, and they make me wanna suck on them.
Goddammit, after today I want her even more than usual. It’s like this primitive urge to protect her as awakened inside me. I can’t stop thinking about nailing her between my arms and warding her off from all shit that comes our way.
“Okay,” she whispers, and she walks past me as if she doesn’t even notice that I’m standing here with my arms wide open, ready to receive her.
We go into the room and she starts undressing. Peeling off her clothes one by one, she just stands there in the middle of my room. I’m flabbergasted by the sheer moment of seeing her strip in front of me. It’s so fucking bad, but I can’t think of anything else than her beautiful body and that I want to touch her. My cock stirs from the sight of her being naked.
She steps into the bed, and I take off my pants too. I make no effort to hide my erection, because I want her to know what she does to me. I want her to feel that I want her and that I’m never going to betray her like Ronnie did.
But I don’t want to force myself
on her.
I crawl under the sheets and pull them up, draping my arm over her warm waist. She turns her back to me and cuddles closer. Her plump ass is pressing against my hard-on and it’s swelling even more. I can’t stop thinking about nudging her legs open and start making love to her again, but I won’t. It’s pathetic, and I won’t give in to this lust when she is so shaken by what happened today. I don’t want to break this fragile bond between us.
I sigh, letting out all the anxiety I’ve been feeling over wanting to kick Ronnie’s ass and making love to Amy.
“You seem tenser than usual,” Amy says.
“So do you.”
“Maybe I am,” she says.
“What are you thinking about?”
She takes in a deep breath. “I don’t know … Seeing Ronnie makes all the memories flush back into my head, and now I’m confused.”
“Oh …”
Oh? Is that all I’m going to say? Jack McCallister; struck in awe because of what a girl says. Now that’s a shocker. But I have no clue what else to say. My mind is driving me crazy right now.
What’s she saying?
Does she miss him or something?
Shit, she can’t be.
I bury my face in her hair and smell her flowery scent. It makes me feel a little better, but it’s like a drug; it wears out fast. I’m only trying to ignore the fact that questions are burning, and I don’t want to ask them. I don’t want to know the answer. I don’t want to know if she’s going to leave me.
Could she?
Just the thought of it makes me clasp her tight. Her smell is intoxicating and her perky flesh is so smooth and soft, it makes me realize I covet her. I don’t feel guilty anymore. I like her and that’s a fact. I don’t want to let her go. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
But do I even have a choice?
I know she’s been missing her music life so much, and it’s all she talks about lately. It’s her world and all she loves, and I shouldn’t stand in her way. I know she wants it so badly, and I want to see her happy, too.
But maybe Ronnie gets to her first, and he might take her away from me. She’s loved him before, she could do it again. Just the thought of seeing them together makes me want to puke.
Blissful volume 3 (New Adult Romance) Page 6
