I can hear the passion in her voice. This music thing really means a lot to her. I don’t know what it feels like to be missing something like that, but I guess it’s like me missing riding my horses. Yeah, I’d miss that a lot if I hadn’t done it in weeks.
But still, she wants to go to my sister’s bar? She chose that exact place to want to play music? She could’ve picked any fucking place in this whole region, and she decides to settle for my friggin’ sister’s bar. Goddammit.
Scratching the back of my neck, I say, “You sure you want to go to my sister’s? I mean, there must be a better place to do whatever you’re thinking of doing.”
One of her eyebrows and the left corner of her mouth lift. “I’m thinking of playing the piano, maybe sing a few songs, that’s all. Nothing fancy. Your sister said she’d pay me if I’d do it. That’s why I think it’s a great idea.”
“You want to play for the money? Amy …” I say, sighing. “Cash shouldn’t be the reason. I don’t want you to go through trouble just for that. If it’s just money you need, I can give you that.”
She gasps. “What? No, Jack! Seriously? I will not take money from you.” Her face contorts, and I already regret what I said.
“What? If I can provide for you, then there’s no need for you to go out of your way to get your hands on some cash. Nothing wrong with that.”
She rolls her eyes and a tiny smile appears on her face. “I am not a dependent woman. You should know that by now.” She places her fists against her waist, and her defiant stance is stirring some manly urges inside me.
“I wasn’t implying you were.” I come closer and know I tower above her. I know she doesn’t like it. That’s exactly why I do it. Maybe it’ll encourage her to just take me up on my offer. “If this, what we have, is going to be more than just … sex …” I clear my throat, the word unsettling me. Images of her, naked, flash through my mind, and my cock twitches in response. “I want to give you more than just that. I want to provide for you, too. It’s what we do.”
She snorts. “We? You mean men?” Her laugh makes me blush a bit. I didn’t know I sounded so conceited, but now that I think about it … yep, it sounded pretty lame.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t need a man to take care of me, thanks very much. I can take care of myself.” She tries to escape to the side, but I block her way out by putting my hand on the wall. The conversation is not yet over, and I want a chance to redeem myself.
“Look, I didn’t mean it like that, all right. Sorry. I just want to be nice. To take care of the girl I …”
I can’t get the word to roll over my tongue. Saying it means acknowledging the feelings that I’m not sure are even there.
Are they?
I’m definitely sure this is more than just lust, because I’ve never felt so protective and caring about a woman before, but she sets me off, too. In ways I could never imagine, I might add. Pushing my buttons, that’s what she does. But I’m feeling much better since she’s here, since I have someone to hold and talk to. I can’t deny what she does to me.
But can I really say love? Is it love? This word is not something I like to blurt out everywhere. It scares me to death, because it means all sorts of things. Promises, obligations, demands, questions. Things are so much easier if it just wasn’t there.
But I know it is. I just can’t say it yet. I can’t say to her face that I might fall in love with her, that I love how she is, what she does for me, even though I hate it sometimes, too. I can’t say it, because I’m afraid. Afraid of all those consequences and the implications. That she might not feel the same. That after everything we’ve been through, she might still leave. That the word will not hold her back from abandoning me.
The look in her eyes softens and she puts her hand on my cheek. The warmth is putting all my nerves on high alert, forcing me to pay attention. “It’s sweet, Jack. I understand what you’re trying to do … and I think it’s nice, but money isn’t the only reason I want to do this. I love singing. I love making music. It’s my soul. I need to do this.”
I let my head rest against her forehead, and take in her scent. Her flowery perfume sets me at ease, knowing what I’m about to say. “All right. If it’s what you want. But I warn you, my sister’s a bitch. I hate being forced to talk to her.”
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”
“Yes, I do. I’m not letting you around that woman without supervision.”
“You don’t trust me? And what the hell, ‘supervision’? I’m not Madeline!”
“Relax. I don’t mean you. I just don’t trust Karen. At all. She’s just so crazy. Especially when she talks about the ranch.”
Actually, I just prefer if Karen didn’t talk at all. Especially not to Amy. Whatever she says can’t be good. Nothing coming from that mouth can be good. Always criticizing me, blaming me for everything that happens. Goddamn woman …
Amy frowns and lets out an annoyed breath.
“Shit, just thinking about having to talk to her makes me want to make a run for it,” I say, to make her believe it’s not her that I’m talking about.
Amy laughs. “Really? What about your accident then? You still have to tell her.”
I drop my eyes to the floor. Fuck. I hadn’t thought about that yet. “Um… Maybe.”
“Oh, c’mon, Jack. She’s your sister. She deserves to know this. Family comes first, right?”
“Right …” It’s true. If I don’t tell Karen, sooner or later she’s gonna find out anyway. Town’s gossip and all. And then she’ll be even more pissed that I didn’t tell her first.
“Don’t worry. I have your back,” Amy says with a wink. “I won’t let her kick your ass. I learned some Kung Fu jabs from a Jackie Chan movie that I can’t wait to try out.”
I laugh, and all I can think about is kissing Amy, because of all the stupid things she says to make me feel better.
“You do that. I’ll call an ambulance for you while you two brawl.”
We both laugh, and I reach for her hand to lace my fingers through hers. Touching her makes me feel okay. My mouth is so close to hers, I can feel her breath tingle on my skin, and I dive in for a kiss. I can’t help myself. She’s just that attractive to me. As if there’s some kind of magnetic force between us, pulling me in. Her shining eyes, sweet smile, rosy lips make me want to do everything for her.
Even if it means she’ll go play music at a place I disgust. I hate having to go there, and I hate that I know this’ll lead to more crap. But I can take it. What I can’t take is Amy and that look in her eyes when she wants something. I just have to give it to her. Even if it’ll kill me.
Shit, what the fuck did I just agree to?
Chapter 6
Amy
Jack’s been all tensed up ever since we stepped into the car to get to town. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re using my car now, and he’s missing his own truck, or if it’s because he’ll be meeting his sister in a few. Either way, he’s on edge, and anything I say could set him off. I’m not waiting for another binge drinking session again, so I decide to shut my mouth the entire trip.
“Daddy, can we go visit Uncle Benny?” Madeline says, and she leans forward, clenching the seat in front of her.
Jack groans, and lets his head fall against the headrest.
“We’re going to Karen’s bar, Maddy,” I say, to fill in for Jack. He doesn’t seem to want to open his mouth right now, except for the occasional annoyed moan.
“But I want to see Uncle Benny! I don’t like Aunt Karen. And I want an ice cream!”
Chuckling, I say, “It’s too late in the evening for ice cream.”
She puts up a sour face, so I try to cheer her up by distracting her with something else so she doesn’t start crying.
“We’ll go play the piano instead. Aunt Karen has a lovely piano. Do you want to play?”
Her eyes light up as though there are fireflies behind her sockets. “Can I?”
“Yeah, of
course you can! Would you like that? We could play the piano together.”
“Daddy never lets me play the one upstairs.”
“Why not?”
“It was mommy’s …” she says, sighing.
Poor Madeline. I get why he doesn’t let her play. It reminds him of his wife, and I can see why it would hurt hearing that thing being played again.
“Oh, but the piano we’re going to be using is a special one,” I say, and I lean forward to whisper into her ear. “Shh, it’s a secret. Daddy can’t know. It’s our piano. Don’t tell him.”
She puts her hand in front of her tiny mouth and nods vigorously. From the corner of my eyes I can see Jack rolling his eyes, but his lips quirk up into a small smile too.
When we arrive in town, Jack’s face has grown increasingly tense. His lips are jammed together and his walk looks stiff as we leave the car. I grab his hand, which twitches as we touch. Skin to skin is calming him down, I can feel it in his grip. But his palms are definitely sweaty.
With each step we take his breathing becomes more ragged.
“It’s gonna be fine, don’t worry about it,” I say.
“I’m not liking this one bit,” he murmurs.
“It’s not too late to turn around.”
He stops in his tracks. “Yes, please.”
I chortle. “No, I mean for you only. I’m going in anyway.”
“Fine,” he growls.
Crushing his lips, he clenches my hand and proceeds to the bar with giant steps. It’s almost as if he thinks increasing our pace will make us leave here faster, too. Guess he’s just too stubborn to stay behind.
“Yes, daddy, it’s going to be fine!” Madeline says, and she smiles at him.
He scowls at me, and it makes me laugh out loud.
It’s quiet inside the bar; there are only a handful of people there, sipping their beers, and watching a football game on the television hanging from the wall. When Jack and Karen lock eyes, they both stop moving. The look in their eyes predicts thunder.
Karen puts down the glass and comes out from behind the bar. “Well, if it isn’t my brother.”
Jack frowns and squints as she walks up to him. “What the hell brings you here?” she says, folding her arms.
“Fuck this,” Jack says, and he wants to turn around, but I pull him with both hands, causing him to scramble back.
“C’mon … Don’t be so hardheaded.”
“Me? Hardheaded? Seriously?” Jack says.
Karen laughs. “Yeah, Jackie. Why don’t you calm down a bit.”
“Do not call me Jackie.”
“Why not? It’s your name, innit?” she spits into a bowl standing in the corner on the floor, and I wince at the sight.
“My name is Jack, and you fucking know that, you cavewoman. Now let’s get out of here, I can’t stand the way she acts around me.” Jack pulls my hand, but I stay put.
“Cavewoman?” I utter.
“Ahh, now don’t leave. Why the swearing?” Karen says, smirking.
“You started it!” Jack yells.
I laugh. “You sound like two quibbling little kids.” I stand in between them when Jack starts to clench his fists and breathes loudly. “Let’s all just calm down and have a drink, okay?”
I look down at Madeline who’s just standing there, squeezing Jack’s hand, ready to start crying. I’d rather prevent that.
“Let’s keep it civil, shall we?” I say, tilting my head to alert Jack of Madeline. “Don’t want to upset her.”
“Yeah, I think a beer will do us all good,” Karen says, and she turns around.
“Not thirsty,” Jack growls.
“Oh, c’mon, Jack. Stop making this more difficult,” I say, and frown.
I pull him to a table in the corner, far away from the bar, because I know he’ll be more pissed if we sit too near Karen. When she comes back with two beers and another bottle, I clench my hands in the hopes things will go all right. Why can’t they just behave like normal adults?
Karen hands a glass of chocolate milk to Madeline, whose face lights up as if she’s just been handed a Christmas present. She starts drinking right away, and has no eye for us anymore. Good, because I’m thinking this whole thing here between Jack and his sister is about to explode, and I don’t want her to start crying.
Karen puts the beer down a little too hard in front of Jack, and it overflows. “Here,” she says. “All better now, Jackie?”
Jack’s face contorts as she says his nickname. It makes me chuckle a bit, but I hide my smile behind my sleeve.
“Thanks,” he mutters.
“You sure you can drink that?” she says, as he’s about to take a sip.
He looks up at her with a confused look. “Now what?”
“Well, seeing your accident and all.”
His pupils dilate, and my heart stops. Does she know?
How does she know?
“Don’t think you can hide that shit from me, Jack. I know all about your little swimming adventure at the bridge.” She slams her fists on the table. “I thought brothers were supposed to tell their sisters when they get in trouble. Instead, I had to hear it from ol’ Ben.”
Jack sighs. “Ben …” he groans.
“Don’t you get mad at him, now,” Karen says. “He’s not the one who forgot to mention that you were in the hospital, for crying out loud!”
“That’s my fault,” I say. When Karen directs her vicious eyes at me I back away, feeling like she’s about to jump at me and bite me in the throat.
“What? Amy, what are you—” Jack mutters.
I kick Jack’s leg, and he winces in anger, but at least he’s shut up now. I’ll lie for him if I have to. I’m really not in the mood for a fight, and I if I can stop those two from bitching at each other, I will.
“I forgot to call you, because of all the drama,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’m sorry.”
Karen taps her feet and sighs. “Well … I suppose it was a lot to handle for you on your own,” she says to me.
“I’m really sorry that I didn’t call,” I say.
“It’s all right. I understand.” Karen gives me a pat on the back, but it feels more like a giant slap to me.
“But you should know better.” Karen looks at Jack again, and he rolls his eyes.
“So, Amy, tell me why you’re here,” she says, leaning on the table. It cracks under her weight. “Because I know for sure my brother would never come here of his own free will.”
“Oh … don’t start,” Jack says, groaning.
I ignore him. “Well, you said you wanted to hire me to play the piano, so I thought … why not tonight?”
“Ha!” she laughs. “Great idea.” With one strong jerk, she hauls me up from my seat, and I whimper as she drags me away.
“Be careful!” Jack yells. “Don’t let her charms get to you.”
“Afraid I’m gonna steal her away from you, Jackie?” Karen taunts.
“Not a chance.” Jack leans back in the chair and puts up his big boy smile, as if he owns the place.
I don’t get what that was all about. Why would she steal me away? Unless he means … Oh … now I get it.
Jack waves at me from afar, and Madeline grins as I sit down on the stool. Karen just stands there with her elbow on the piano, waiting for me to start. She’s looking at me with those eyes that just shine from the idea that money will be flowing. As if I will be the one providing her that. Like my music is all that.
I gulp. I hope I can live up to her expectations. I want to make money, too. No other way to know than just try, so I take a deep breath and place my fingers on the keyboard.
All right, I can do this.
When I start playing, everyone in the room looks up. Their eyes zone in on me and watch me play. I’m starting out easy, playing a piano version of Drunk by Ed Sheeran. I’m thinking this lighthearted song might make them a little happier, especially Jack. Maybe it will make him forget about his relationship with his siste
r, which is for whatever reason very disturbing.
As I get further into the song, and further into my head, the notes find their way out of my throat. Somehow I start singing, and it doesn’t bother me at all that there are all these people watching, including Jack. I know my musical abilities are on display right now, but it only makes me feel more alive. I’m singing, playing a song I enjoy, and doing what I love.
People start bobbing their head to the music, smiling bright, and the atmosphere in this joint has just turned upside down. It’s much less filled with anxiety, and even Karen seems to be enjoying it. She’s flicking her fingers along with my rhythm, and even her feet are moving along.
Madeline gets off her seat and runs over to me.
“Can I play, too?”
“Of course you can. If I make a promise, I keep it,” I say, and I lift her up and put her on the stool with me.
“What should I do?” she asks, her fingers drifting over the keys like they’re some sort of magical things.
“If you just press this note when I nod, it’s perfect.”
We start playing together and she’s actually quite helpful in the sense that I can skip that one note. She’s enjoying it, though. Her face is radiating with pride, because she’s contributing and loves doing it.
The next song is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. I love that the focus lies on the voice, and that I really have a chance to shine with this. More people come into the bar, and I see them undo their jackets and sit down at a table. They’re probably drawn by the music I’m playing, and the mere idea that I’m drawing a crowd is making me feel delirious. I’m so happy, and when I catch Jack’s gaze and see the broad smile on his face and his beautiful brown eyes, I melt.
This song is for him. It’s about him, and all I feel when I look at him. I know I picked it because I thought of him. It’s always in my mind whenever I think of him. I think I’m really starting to fall in love with him.
And just looking at him from afar, sitting at that table sending me kisses just with his eyes, makes it even clearer to me. My heart beats faster, and I know it’s not just the love I feel for him causing this.
Blissful volume 3 (New Adult Romance) Page 5
