Blissful volume 3 (New Adult Romance)

by Wild, Clarissa

  Whatever. I don’t want her to leave.

  Goddammit, why does this have to be so hard?

  ***

  Amy’s raking the ground, gathering the piles of dung while I scoop them up and dunk them into the wheelbarrow. It’s a shitty job, literally, but I’m thankful that she’s willing to help.

  However, a rattling noise coming from the ranch’s edge is alerting me. A car shoots over the road and comes to a squeaking halt right in front of my fence. Someone rolls down a window. The face that comes popping out makes squeeze the shovel so tight, the wood starts to crack and snap.

  Ronnie fucking Keston.

  Amy looks up when the door of his car slams shut. When she sees him, her mouth drops open. “Ronnie?”

  I slam the shovel into the ground and stomp toward him. Amy’s right behind me, pulling my arm.

  “Wait, Jack. Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” I bite. “This is my land, and I’ll be damned if that jerk sets any foot on it.”

  I pull my arm loose, straighten my back, and barge over to him. Amy’s beside me, keeping her hawk-like eyes on me, as if she’s afraid I’m going to take a swing at him. Well, I might if he doesn’t get his ass off my land quickly.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I say as I near him.

  He holds up his hands. “Wow, wow, chill.”

  “As soon as you get your ass out of here, I will.”

  “Hey, I’m standing outside your gate, if you didn’t notice,” Ronnie says, and he lowers his glasses as if he’s all that.

  I’ll wipe that fucking smug off his face.

  I snort. “This here,” I point around the area, “is all McCallister’s property. Mine. So unless you get going right now, I might not grab a pile of dung, throw it at your face, tie you to a pole, and shoot you off into space where you can enjoy the smell of shit forever.”

  “Jack!” Amy says, and she pokes me in the side, making me frown.

  “Jesus, what the fuck is your problem?” Ronnie says to me.

  His face makes my blood boil. He makes me want to spit in his face. That’s my problem.

  “You are my problem!” I say. “How dare you come here after what you did to her!” I point at Amy.

  “I’m here to talk to her. That’s why. And in case you didn’t notice, she is not your property, and I’d like to talk to her. She can decide for herself if she wants to.”

  “I don’t fucking care! You are not setting one foot into this ranch!”

  “Jack …” Amy says, and she nudges me aside. “Let me talk to him.”

  “I don’t trust him …” I say, my nostrils flaring. Ronnie keeps his snake-like squinting eyes on us as if he’s trying to eavesdrop on our conversation, and I don’t like it one bit.

  Amy grabs my face and forces me to look at her. Her touch instantly pulls me away from him and directs me gaze into her beautiful eyes. They’re full of confusion, and it’s making me uneasy.

  “But you can trust me,” she says.

  She’s caressing my cheek. I put my hand on her hand and close my eyes. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

  “I know, but I won’t let him hurt me again. I promise.”

  She puts her forehead to mine and smiles. The look in her eyes settles the heat burning in my lungs, and I feel less like a dragon breathing fire.

  I sigh. “If that’s what you want.” I’ll do anything to keep that smile she has on her face when she looks at me.

  “Thank you,” she says, and after a kiss on my cheek she walks off to join fucking Keston in a stroll around my property. Well, as long as he doesn’t set foot in here, I’m okay with them walking and talking somewhere along the road.

  I watch them as they talk, hoping to catch a glimpse of what they’re saying. Of course I don’t understand a thing, I can’t read lips. But the look in Amy’s eyes tells me enough. Her eyes are lowered and she’s biting her lip again. She always does that when she’s over thinking things. I know what’s going on. I don’t have to be able to read minds to see that happening. He’s making her a proposition. And from the desperate look on her face, I’m not sure if she still has the strength to refuse.

  Chapter 8

  Amy

  “What do you want, Ronnie?”

  “I’m sorry, Amy. I shouldn’t have come to you at the bar last night. Not like that. But I miss you, Amy. So much.”

  I sigh … “Look, Ronnie, I’m with Jack now.”

  “I know.” He puts up his hands as if it’s some kind of peace treaty. “I just wanted to say that I really miss you.”

  “So? Why did you come here? Do you think you can persuade me to change my mind about you?”

  “No, I don’t. I know I’m a fuck up. I admit it. I am a horrible asshole, who shouldn’t even come close to you after what I did.”

  “Damn right,” I say, frowning.

  “It was a mistake. I should’ve never kissed Nicole. I did it because I was afraid.”

  “Like all the other times …” I say, kicking a pebble in front of me.

  “Yes … and I’m sorry.” He sighs. “I just wanted to see you. I’m here because I miss you around, I miss talking to you. I just want us to be friends again,” he says.

  “And you think I can just forgive you like that?” I snap my fingers.

  “No … I know it takes time. But please, give me a chance. I’m not asking for you to like me again. I just want to be in your life again, that’s all. You can hate me, if you want.”

  “I don’t hate you …” I mumble. “But I do hate what you’ve done to me.”

  “And I’m really, really, sorry for that.” Ronnie tries to grab my hand, but I pry it away again.

  The hopeful smile dissipates from his face, and we walk farther down the road. Jack’s ranch is disappearing from sight.

  “I got a new job,” Ronnie suddenly says.

  “Oh,” I say. I don’t really know what else to say. Should I be happy for him that he finally started straightening his life? All I feel is confusion and anger.

  “Got promoted to manager. It’s not big, because it’s only a very small department, but it’s at a music label.”

  The word ‘music label’ pops in my head like a balloon, and my ears perk up hearing it. “What?”

  “Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Truth is, I never expected to get anywhere after I lost you, but I’m glad I made an effort to improve.” He smiles, and I smile back because I feel like I have to. I can’t believe this guy got a job at a company I would die to work for. As a singer, that is.

  “You know, I still had your mix tape lying around my apartment, and I gave it to my boss,” Ronnie says. I can’t believe my ears.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yep. And you know what? I got the call today. They want to meet you and Nicole in person.”

  I squeal and start jumping up and down. My body instantly lurches toward the first thing I can grab a hold of, because I need something to squeeze. It’s Ronnie and I’m hugging him so hard it’s making him gasp for air.

  A record label wants to talk with me. With us. We could have a deal. We could play music for a real music label. This feels like a dream. It feels so surreal.

  When I realize what I’m doing, I quickly peel away from Ronnie and straighten my shirt, but nothing can hide the smile beaming on my face.

  “How did you do that?” I say.

  “I pulled some strings,” he says. “And … I want you to be happy.”

  He comes closer and puts his hand on my arm. It’s familiar and the warmth reminds me of what we used to have. It’s sending chills down my spine.

  “I’ve fucked up so badly, and I just wanted to do something to make up to you. To make things right between us again. This is the least I could do.”

  “Thank you …” I say, blushing. “When are they expecting me? And I hope they want Nicole, too, right?”

  “Yeah, of course,” Ronnie says, nodding. “But they have a very tight schedu
le, and I only managed to get them to listen to you for like ten minutes, so we have to make full use of that time.”

  “When?” I repeat.

  “Tomorrow.”

  My eyes widen, and I freeze. Tomorrow. They want to see us tomorrow? Oh my god, that’s so soon! I can’t believe this.

  The adrenaline shoots through my body just thinking about it. I could get a deal if I could shine for those few minutes I have to sell myself. I could make my dream come true.

  But they want it tomorrow. Goddammit that’s quick.

  That means we have to leave now. I have to leave the ranch. I have to leave Jack and Madeline behind.

  Can I do that?

  Pursing my lips together, I mull over the situation. I want this so badly. My heart started going haywire the moment Ronnie mentioned this. I want to become what I always dreamed of, be in a band, and sing for the rest of my life. To have people shout my name, and to actually make enough money to live off. I want this so much … But I want Jack, too. I don’t know which one I want more.

  “If you need some time to think about it, I’m sorry, but we don’t have that luxury,” Ronnie says. “If we want to be there on time, we gotta leave now.”

  “Yeah … I know, just give me a minute.” I start pacing in circles, thinking about what I want to do.

  Leaving Jack and Madeline isn’t easy. I like them, and Jack has given me so much more than I could ever imagine. And poor Maddy, she clings to me as if she thinks I’m her mother. If I go I don’t know if I’ll ever see Jack again. If he’ll wait for me. I don’t think he’ll come with me. No, he loves his ranch too much, and I couldn’t do that to him, either. This is their home, and Madeline needs stability. They need each other and this place. They don’t need me, however.

  As much as I love them, I can’t stop thinking about this opportunity. My heart is aching to follow my goal, my life’s dream. I want to become a fulltime singer, and this is the first time anyone has ever offered this to me. I feel that if I don’t do this now, I will never get the chance again.

  I have to do this. I know it pains me to leave him, just thinking about it makes my eyes sting with tears. But if I don’t go now, I’ll regret this forever. I can’t live with that.

  “All right,” I say.

  Ronnie pats me on the shoulder. “Great. I already picked up Nicole. She’s waiting for us at the end of this street.”

  “What?”

  “I was actually already expecting you to say yes,” Ronnie admits. “I know you too well, Amy.”

  Somehow that makes me feel like shit. I don’t want him to know that I’m a horrible person for choosing my career over love. I’m still stunned by the whole situation, and I don’t know what to do. I want to scream and dance at the same time. I’m freaking confused by all of this, but one thing is certain. I have to make a choice and whatever it is, someone’s going to get hurt.

  And in my heart I know it’ll be Jack.

  “Let’s go pick up Nicole, and then we’re out of here,” Ronnie says.

  “Wait, I want to say goodbye first.”

  “Ah, yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to be so insensitive.”

  “I know …” I say.

  “I’ll get to the car then. You can join me later.”

  I hurry back to the ranch, my heart racing with fear because I know I’ll have to confront both Jack and Madeline with my decision. It’s going to hard.

  Walking over to him, I take a deep breath. The moment our eyes lock I know I’m giving it away, because he raises his eyebrows.

  “Jack …” I say, lowering my eyes. The words I wanted to speak get stuck in my throat. I don’t know how to say this. I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to tear his heart to shreds. I know I’m breaking mine already.

  He frowns. “He’s told you something, hasn’t he? You’re going back with him?”

  “I …”

  “Don’t tell me you’re going to leave me, please.” His eyes start to glaze, and I swallow away my own tears.

  “I’m sorry, but I have to.”

  “Why? I thought you wanted me?”

  “I do, but I got the opportunity to sing in front of a bunch of people who are part of a music label.”

  Jack clenches his fists. “And that’s why you’re going off with him?”

  “No, it’s not about him. I want to sing, Jack. I could get a record deal. I might be able to finally get somewhere with my band, but I need to be there tomorrow.”

  He licks his lips, and his eyes drift off to the ground. I feel terrible for doing this, but I have to. I need to follow my dream. But him not wanting to look at me anymore kills me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No … it’s okay. I understand.” He’s given up. I can tell by the tone of his voice. So broken, so shattered. And it’s my fault.

  “It’s always been my dream, Jack.”

  He sighs. “If this is what you want, what you need, I won’t stop you. You have to make your own decision.” He comes closer and grabs my hands, squeezing them softly. “I want you to be happy.”

  Goddammit, why does he have to be so nice? It would be so much easier if he’d be mad. Now it’s even more difficult. His words are making my eyes wet. I force the tears away. I’ve started now. No way out but to continue.

  “This has always been my dream,” I whisper.

  He shushes me. I don’t think he wants to hear anymore. He doesn’t want to make it any more difficult for the both of us, which makes him even sweeter and harder to leave.

  He inches closer and gently puts his lips on mine, leaving only a small kiss. His lips quiver and they’re dry. I can feel he has trouble just giving me this kiss. I don’t want it to be a goodbye, but I know it is.

  “Here, I want you to have this,” I say. I reach into my pocket and take out the few bills of money I got from Karen. “It’s not enough to cover the costs of the repairs you’ve done to my car, but it’s the least I can do.”

  He pushes it back into my palm. “No. I don’t want your money. Keep it.”

  He squeezes my hand shut and sniffs before planting a final short kiss on my mouth. Every time our lips touch it feels as though I’m dying a little more inside.

  I take a deep breath and turn around. I don’t want to see him anymore. Not because I don’t want to, but because I know that if I do, I might not be able to go through with this, and I must. I have to. I promised myself I would chase my dreams, wherever they went. Even if it meant sacrificing my love life.

  I walk to my car and fumble with the keys in my pocket. The tears are already flowing, but I don’t want anyone to see, so I brush them away. I don’t have to look back to know Jack is watching me. I can feel his gaze burning in my back, searing its way to my heart.

  As I get to the car, I can hear Madeline screaming behind me.

  “Amy, Amy!” she yells. “Where are you going?”

  I can hear Jack talking to her, but I don’t know what he’s saying, and I don’t want to hear it either.

  I sit down in the driver’s seat, but before I close the door, Madeline yells, “I love you, Amy!”

  With a broken heart I close the door and shut out the world. Squeezing my eyes shut, I buckle up and blow out a huge breath. I can do this.

  As I drive the car out of the ranch, I gaze out the window and see Jack standing there, his eyes red and his cheeks covered with salty tears. He’s holding Madeline back as much as he can, but his muscles give in to the sheer pressure of her weight. She bolts away from him, and he stumbles and fails to catch her.

  Gasping, I turn around and look through the back window as I drive away. Madeline’s running after me, shouting and screaming, her face totally red. There goes my soul.

  Chapter 9

  Amy

  I grasp Nicole’s hand and feel her sweaty palms. She’s fanning herself, even though she’s wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts. We both look ridiculous in our band outfits, but you know, hot body’s sell, so we thought we’
d put our sexiest clothes on.

  My heart is beating like crazy as we sit on the stools in front of the room. That room. The room where those men from the music label are waiting for us.

  The door in front of me is giving me a headache. Just looking at it feels like doom and destruction. It’s as if this door is the manifestation of all that’s dangerous and exciting at the same time. Behind it lies the mysterious pot of gold we may or may not earn after singing our hearts out.

  I’m really dying inside from all the pressure.

  Nicole brought her guitar and I’m glad she did, because I could never do this solo. I’m so glad she’s here and that we have this opportunity together. She squeezes my hand softly and smiles anxiously. We’re both scared to death for what lies beyond.

  But we both want it so much. And I can’t believe this day is finally here.

  However, I’m holding onto my chair with my free hand, thinking I might make a run for it otherwise. My legs are clenched tight, and I feel as though I’m going to throw up. I’m going freaking haywire up here. Not only because I know we’ll be showing off our skills within a few minutes, but also because of the huge impact this might have. The reality of it all hits me.

  I left on a whim, going with my instincts that were directing me to follow Ronnie here. But now that I am actually here, I’m terrified and I feel slightly less enthusiastic. Actually, I’d rather bolt.

  I can’t help but think of Madeline and that sad face of her as she saw me drive away. I can’t imagine how horrible that must’ve been for her, to see me leave like that. She wanted me to be her mom, and she even said I was. She must think I abandoned her. And I did.

  I’m a horrible, horrible person.

  I’ve started hating myself over the last couple of hours. Ever since I set foot in that damned car I feel like a freaking disaster. Nothing I do ends right, I just know it.

  Somehow I’m getting doubts whether this is such a good idea. I never really thought about it. It could mean huge complications and obligations I might not want to adhere to.

  However, I’ve also lost Jack. Nothing compares to the pain I feel because of that. I’ve left him. I let him go. And I don’t dare to admit it, but I know it’s the truth. I loved him and I let him slip away for an opportunity like this. I feel like a fucking bitch.