Searching For Meredith Love

by Julie Christensen

  “I thought you’d gone home,” Peter said as he approached.

  “Who me? No, I’m having a great time!”

  Peter eyed the empty wine glass. “Let me get you another drink.”

  “No, thanks. I’m fine.”

  “Then let’s dance.” Meredith registered the music again in the background. It had disappeared from her perception as soon as Peter approached her.

  “Oh, I can’t dance.”

  “It’s a slow dance. Everyone can slow dance.”

  “I don’t like to dance.”

  Peter reached down and took her hand. “I won’t take no for an answer.” Meredith tried to take her hand back, but his grip was firm. “Just one dance,” he told her.

  “Okay.”

  Peter kept her hand as he led her to the dance floor. The crowd had thinned out considerably when the slow song began. With his hands around her waist, they started to sway. “Are you having a nice time?” he asked.

  “I was until you dragged me onto the dance floor.”

  Peter smiled. “I don’t know why you were so scared. See, I don’t bite.”

  “So, did you bring a date tonight? Is there someone special in your life?”

  “Why? Were you thinking we should have a double date?”

  “No, I.” Meredith stopped talking. She felt flustered.

  “You look beautiful tonight, Meredith.”

  “Peter, I think we should stop dancing.”

  Peter leaned in close so that he could whisper in her ear. “Why? What are you afraid of?”

  Meredith broke away and turned to walk off the floor. Ben was leaning against the adobe wall, a beer in his hand, watching her. “Ben,” she exclaimed. She headed toward him. “When did you get here?”

  “A few minutes ago.” He lowered his voice. “You’re blushing. What were you doing out there?”

  Meredith lowered her voice to respond when Peter walked up behind her.

  “Ben, great to see you.” He leaned forward to shake Ben’s hand. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

  “He was just delayed at the hospital,” Meredith said. She was suddenly very cold, standing outside in the desert on a chilled spring night in a spaghetti strap dress.

  “Well, I hope you don’t mind my stealing a dance.” Peter gave Meredith’s arm a quick squeeze and then put his hand on her bare back. “You should be careful about leaving a woman this beautiful alone at a party.”

  Ben was still leaning against the wall. “Meredith can handle herself,” he told Peter.

  Meredith stepped forward and took Ben by the arm. “Let me show you around,” she said.

  When they got to her office, Ben shut the door and said, “He was hitting on you.”

  “I know.”

  “In front of the whole office. Do you know how unprofessional that is? Forget that it was also in front of your boyfriend! And all you can say is, ‘I know’?”

  “I wasn’t completely sure until tonight.”

  Ben sighed and sat down in her chair behind the desk. “What are you going to do?”

  “Just what I’ve been doing—show him that I have a boyfriend and that he doesn’t stand a chance.”

  Ben rubbed his eyes. “God. Talk about jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire!” He stood. “Let’s get back to the party,” he said, holding out his hand.

  Meredith stood around while Ben chatted with her co-workers. She felt exhausted, and her jaw was throbbing. David approached them toward the end of the night.

  “Meredith, good to see you. Is this Ben?” Meredith wondered if he’d asked someone Ben's name before heading over. They shook hands. “So nice to meet you. Glad you were able to come. Meredith wasn’t sure if your schedule at the hospital would permit it.”

  “They do let us out, to bathe and socialize.”

  Meredith glanced at Ben in surprise. David didn’t seem to notice the caustic delivery of this remark. “We absolutely love Meredith. She’s doing a heck of a job.”

  “I’m sure she is,” Ben said.

  David gestured toward the patio. “How do you like the jazz?”

  “The band is great,” Meredith told him, smiling. Then, touching Ben's arm she asked, “Are you ready to go?”

  “Sure.”

  In the car, Meredith said, “Thank you for coming.”

  “I like your co-workers. They all seemed friendly.” Ben was watching the road. They’d left Meredith’s car behind, at the office.

  “Was it hard to get away?”

  “Not too hard.”

  “Who did you get to cover for you?”

  “Ann did it.”

  “Oh.”

  They rode in silence. Halfway home, Ben said, “What are you going to do about Peter?”

  “I don’t know. And although I would like your advice, I’m too tired to talk about it tonight.”

  “How’s the jaw.”

  “Sore, but nothing a good night of sleep won’t help.”

  “Do you know what some of your co-workers are saying? That Peter and David are both

  worth over two million apiece. Is that right?”

  “Well, that’s on paper. I’d like to see them walk into a bank and take out that kind of money. Some people say another dot-com bubble is coming.”

  “Still, that’s a lot of money.”

  “I guess.”

  They didn’t talk the rest of the ride home.

  Meredith was dancing with Peter. “Where’s Ben?” she asked.

  “He had to go back to the hospital. Don’t worry about Ben.” They continued to dance. Peter moved his hands from her waist to her bare back. Every time the song seemed about to end, the band would switch into another chorus. She kept dozing off in his arms. An alarm started bleating. “Do you hear that sound? Is it a smoke alarm?” Meredith asked. “There must be a fire. We have to stop dancing to evacuate the building!” She looked around frantically. Peter wouldn't let go of her. “We're fine, Meredith. We don't have to stop." She broke away from Peter but his hands were still stuck to her back. He stood apart from her, blood pouring out of his wrists. “Meredith,” he said, “what have you done?”

  Meredith, awoken by the ringing, reached over Ben’s sleeping body to answer the phone. A disturbingly familiar voice asked her, “Meredith Love? It’s still Love, isn’t it?”

  “Who is this?” was the politest phrase Meredith could manage with her heart in her throat.

  “It’s Elisa Armstrong. I’m in Albuquerque. Oh my God. Are you totally surprised? I had to look you up. What do you say to dinner tonight? I can’t wait to see you and hear how you are.”

  “Dinner?” Groggily, Meredith tried to remember if she had a prior engagement.

  “Yes, and I already know where. The Artichoke Cafe. I’m told it’s the most civilized restaurant out here. No rattlesnake entrees, I trust.”

  “Well,” Meredith paused again, the unexpectedness of the call making her unable to rally her thoughts.

  “Seven o’clock is perfect for me. I don’t need a ride, I’ve got a rental. Oops, I’ve got to run. I’m needed on the floor.” Click.

  Meredith stared at the receiver.

  Ben opened an eye. “Dinner with Elisa.”

  Meredith stared at him in disbelief.

  “She talks loudly,” he added.

  “Oh. Gosh.” She sunk back onto the bed. She was still feeling dazed.

  “Who is she?”

  “A friend from high school. God. It’s been so long. Jeez.”

  “High school. Sounds like fun. And I love the food there.” He rose up out of bed, stretching. “Can’t wait.”

  “Can’t come,” Meredith snapped. “You’re not invited. I’m not having you meet someone like this. It’ll ruin your good opinion of me.” As she spoke, it occurred to her that Ben’s presence may stop the onslaught of unanswerable questions that were sure to come from Elisa if they were alone.

  “A friend of yours from high school? I’m coming,” B
en told her.

  “Fine,” she snapped.

  Ben strutted off to the shower with a smug, little smile on his face, like he’d fought some sort of skirmish and come out victorious.

  Elisa was already waiting for them at the table. She looked just like she had the last time Meredith had seen her. Her blond hair was cut and styled, make-up was perfect down to the last coated and carefully separated eyelash. Meredith felt like she was in a time-warp. Here she’d thought she’d changed so much, but maybe that was just an illusion.

  “You look exactly the same,” Elisa announced, confirming her fear. Her eyes focused on Ben before Meredith could reciprocate the compliment. “My, my. Who’s this?” Her voice became husky and she directed her next line just to Ben. “I got us a two seater, but I’ll fix that right away.”

  “It’s going to be a long night,” Meredith told Ben as Elisa took off in search of the maitre d’.

  “I like the way she makes mundane comments sound like a come-on,” Ben replied. “A two-seater.”

  Introductions were made as they settled into their table for four, Ben next to Elisa, both of them facing Meredith across the table like a firing squad. “Elisa, this is Ben Abel. Ben, Elisa Armstrong.”

  Elisa shook hands. “Ben Abel.” She rolled Ben’s name over her tongue. “A pleasure, Ben.” Her dress was cut low. Meredith wondered how much Ben could see. “I’m dying of curiosity to hear all about you, Ben.” Elisa winked at Meredith. “I don’t see a ring on your finger!” She turned back to Ben. “How long have you and Meredith been dating?”

  “Elisa, we’ve only been dating a few months,” Meredith said. “That’s all there is to know. This is dinner, not the inquisition.”

  Elisa gave Meredith a glance. “You look the same, but you’ve changed.” She opened her napkin into her lap. “I, however, have not. Of course I’m going to question Ben. I need to find out if he’s good enough for my Meredith.”

  Meredith flagged down the busboy and ordered a whiskey on the rocks.

  “I’d like to say that Meredith speaks of you often, Ben Abel. But she’s such a poor correspondent that I haven’t heard from her in years.”

  “Is that right?” Ben asked. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

  “Absolutely. Not since she flew the coop and moved out here to cactus country. But perhaps I’ve offended you. Are you from here, Ben?”

  “No,” Ben said. “I hail from damp, sodden Oregon and so this sunny weather is a real treat.”

  “Oh, yes. I can see where it would be. Very moldy in Oregon. And what do you do?”

  “I’m a resident. Family Practice.”

  “Oh, my!” Elisa turned to Meredith and mouthed “a doctor” across the table. The waiter arrived with their drinks and Meredith took a deep gulp.

  “Meredith,” Elisa began, tapping her manicured nails against her Harvey’s Bristol Cream. “Why are you so terrible at staying in touch?”

  Meredith shrugged. “I don’t know. What brings you to Albuquerque, Elisa?”

  “Weddings. We’re having a wedding bonanza at the Civic Center. Have you heard the ads on the radio? Today and tomorrow. I coordinate the shows.” She jiggled her bracelet down her wrist as she picked up her drink. “New Mexico this weekend, Tucson next. Last weekend it was San Antonio.”

  “That’s a lot of travel.” Meredith commented.

  “It is, but I love it. You know, Meredith, the more I look at you, the less I think you do look the same.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. For one thing, the nose ring is gone, although I can see the scar. Your posture is better. You seem…calmer.”

  “I do?”

  Elisa smiled at Ben. “Something about the southwest definitely agrees with you.” She turned back to Meredith and reached across the table to rest her hand on Meredith’s. “You’ve never looked so beautiful.”

  Meredith was taken aback. She felt like she’d been given some kind of proclamation from a…a what? It was only Elisa talking, after all. What did she know? But she had known Meredith back when. So if she thought Meredith looked better, that meant something.

  “You should have seen Meredith ten years ago,” Elisa told Ben. “If you’d seen her coming, you would have run in the opposite direction.” Elisa had put her hand on Ben’s shoulder as she spoke to him. Now she left it there. “But Meredith is quite presentable now.”

  Meredith took another swig of her drink.

  “How do you like planning weddings?” Ben asked.

  “I love to organize! And I love weddings.” She stopped. “Oops. Sore subject. But seriously, Meredith, if it makes you feel better, Eric’s about to get married himself. June 26th.”

  Ben, who had been studying the menu, raised his eyes and rested them on Meredith. Meredith tried to nod in a bored way, but she was straddled between fear that Elisa would break social etiquette to say more and intense relief at the news of Eric’s ensuing nuptials.

  “To whom?” Ben asked interestedly. Meredith shot him a look which he either didn’t see or ignored.

  “No one Meredith knows. Patty Sarten is her name. She’s a lawyer too.”

  “That’s great,” Meredith found her voice. “I’m very happy for him. So, how long have you been in the wedding business, Elisa?”

  “About three years. I started as a coordinator, but there’s not a lot of money in that unless you’re in a big city. I still do it occasionally, though, for friends.”

  The waiter came by to refresh their drinks and Meredith took two successive gulps. Slow down, she reminded herself. You’ve got a long night ahead of you and you’ll need to stay on your toes.

  “I wanted to coordinate Eric’s, but they’re having a very low profile ceremony, because of... well, you know.”

  “What is everyone going to order?” Meredith asked. “That salmon looks great. Elisa? What’s it going to be? Or maybe I should ask you, ‘What’s good here?’ You seem to know more about this restaurant than we do.”

  Elisa waved away the comment. “It’s all about connections, darling.”

  Before dessert arrived Meredith had drunk two whiskeys and two glasses of wine. The room was starting to spin and she hoped she wasn’t going to throw up. The cup of coffee the waiter had brought was changing back and forth in front of her eyes from one to two. That’s probably why Ben’s question didn’t register in her brain until Elisa had already answered it.

  “So when did you and Meredith last see each other?”

  Elisa, too, had had her share of wine. “At her wedding.” She smiled modestly. “I was maid of honor.”

  “Her what?”

  “Her wedding, darling.” Elisa rested a hand on Ben’s arm. “Her wedding,” she said for the third time.

  Meredith heard it all, but the alcohol made her too slow moving to intercept the comments as they slid past her. She felt like a passenger in a car that was sliding out of control on a slick sheet of ice.

  “The most horrid bridesmaid dresses ever. I’m sorry Meredith, but you know it’s true.” Her voice dropped a notch. “Her mother chose them.” She made a contented little sigh as she thought back on the ugly dresses.

  Ben turned to her, mouth gaping. “You’re married?”

  “I’ll never forget the shock I had when I realized you were gone. I was the one who realized, did you know that?” Elisa’s eyes were glassy. “I’m also the one who told Eric. People were giving you the benefit of the doubt, assuming you’d run an errand or been abducted. An errand, I’m sure. I kept telling them, ‘Well, she sure as hell didn’t drive off to K-mart for new pantyhose.’”

  The point of the dinner suddenly dawned on Meredith. It wasn’t to catch up or even to see how Meredith was doing in her new life. It was to rehash with her former best friend the things they’d never been able to discuss. Because, as Elisa had said, Meredith had dropped off the face of the earth right after the big event. How did I think I could keep this topic from coming up? She forced her eyes to look up at Ben. His face was
very still. Unreadable.

  Elisa was chuckling. “We still refer to it as ‘pulling a Meredith.’ We’re from a very small town,” she explained in an aside to Ben. Her eyes moved to Meredith. “Do you and Eric talk at all?”

  Meredith shook her head. She wanted nothing more than to crawl out of the restaurant and disappear.

  “For years everyone said that he wasn’t over you. But I’ll tell you, when I told him you were gone, he didn’t even look surprised. Took the news with no emotion at all.”

  This bit of information momentarily piqued Meredith's curiosity. She’d often wondered how he’d taken the news: rage, relief? She was interested to hear that his response was indifference.

  “I’ll tell you what I think.” Elisa leaned forward for emphasis. She wasn’t as drunk as Meredith had originally thought. In fact, Meredith wasn’t sure if she was even tipsy. “I think it was a question of ego. He didn’t want to be pitied for being jilted.” Elisa sat back in her chair. “That’s why he’s making this one small. Instead of 500, he’s having fifty. Poor Patty Sarten is just going to have to suck it up. The most important day of her life is his most mortifying. She’s got you to thank for that.”

  “Do you leave Albuquerque on Sunday, Elisa, or will you be able to stay and see more of our city than the inside of this restaurant and the convention center?” Ben had rallied, and now his voice sounded normal, but Meredith didn’t believe it was anything more than an act.