To Honor and To Protect

by Debra Webb

  Addison forced a smile onto her face. “Right on time.”

  He nodded. “Perimeter is clear,” he said.

  “What’s a perimeter?”

  “We’ll discuss it later,” Addi replied, making a face that told Drew to shut up. “We held breakfast for you.” She stood and crossed to the stove.

  “You didn’t have to.” He wasn’t sure what to do or where to go. He didn’t want to sit down with the kid at the table, and there wasn’t much room to help Addison with breakfast.

  “We wanted to.” She turned her attention to the griddle sizzling on the woodstove. “Drew, meet Andy. Andy, say hello to my friend Drew.”

  “Hello.”

  “Hi,” Drew replied.

  The kid looked at him, eyes narrow as he assessed Drew, then twisted around in his seat to look at Addison. “You said Nico was the only friend we had out here. You said everyone else was strangers.”

  “I didn’t expect Drew to visit us out here.”

  What an understatement, he thought. “I didn’t expect it, either,” he added, bringing the kid’s attention back to him. That day in the park, he hadn’t gotten close enough, but now... “Where’s your dad?”

  “In heaven,” Andy said.

  Drew heard Addison drop something, but he kept his gaze on Andy.

  “Mom says he watches over us.”

  “That’s good. You know, I thought Craig Everett was your daddy.”

  “He was gonna be, but Mom said our plans got changed.” Andy knew how to spit out the party line, but he obviously wasn’t pleased about it. “I wanted a dad.”

  “Drew, would you like two eggs or three?” Addi asked, her tone overly bright as she changed the subject.

  “Three,” he replied, feeling happier than he should that this conversation made her uncomfortable.

  “I timed you.” Andy twisted his arm around to give Drew a good look at the watch. “Mom said to time you because I wanted to eat.”

  “That’s a great watch.” Drew admired the Captain America watch. “How long did you have to wait?”

  “Nineteen minutes.”

  Drew gave an approving hum. “Thanks for being patient.”

  Addison put a platter of fresh pancakes on the table along with a small pitcher of syrup. “Take it easy,” she said to Andy. “Everyone will want some.”

  “Okay.” He looked at Drew again. “My mom makes the best syrup.”

  “That’s a good skill to have.”

  He watched, mesmerized by the kid as he carefully smeared melting butter over his short stack of pancakes. Then, sitting up on his knees, Andy grabbed the syrup pitcher and drizzled the warm, maple-scented liquid as if he were performing for a commercial.

  “Easy,” Addi reminded him. “Eggs are nearly done.”

  Andy put the pitcher back on the table and grabbed his fork to dig in.

  “Impressive spread, considering the limitations.”

  “Mom is resourceful,” Andy said, expressing the big word slowly around his mouthful of pancakes.

  “Chew first,” Addi reminded him without looking away from the stove. “And swallow.”

  Drew got up and propped open the door, letting some of the heat out of the small room. “Smells so good, you’re likely to draw in some company.”

  “I’ve told you no one knows we’re here.”

  “Nico does,” Andy piped up. “Drew does.”

  “No one else,” she clarified. “Mama Leonie didn’t have neighbors out here.”

  “I don’t know. People might follow their noses to this amazing breakfast,” Drew said, taking the bowl piled high with seasoned scrambled eggs. “Is this dill?” He inhaled deeply when she nodded. “Can’t wait.” What did it mean that she’d made his favorite eggs?

  “Me, neither.” Immediately, Andy looked contrite. “May I have some, too, please?”

  “Sure, squirt. There’s enough here for everyone.”

  “I’m not a squirt.”

  “No offense meant.” Drew sat down once more, the small table barely big enough for Addi to join them. “Do you have a nickname you like?”

  The boy slid a glance at his mother, thoughtfully considering the question. Recognition slammed into Drew like a cold fist. He’d seen that particular furrow between the eyebrows on his father’s face, caught the same expression on his own face more than once. The boy might’ve wanted to be called Godzilla for all Drew knew. The shock had created a sudden, loud buzzing in his ears, momentarily blocking out everything else.

  The resemblance through the eyes was uncanny. This kid had the Bryant family eyes. Drew’s gut tied into a thousand knots. He couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to see it.

  The boy’s father was in heaven. Or was supposed to be. Everett would’ve been a stepdad. Drew’s mouth went dry, but he forced out the obvious question. “How old are you?”

  “Almost eight.”

  As the math clicked, the savory bite of eggs in Drew’s mouth turned to mushy cardboard. The fresh air and warm scents of the hearty breakfast soured in his stomach as the truth hit him like a body blow. He was looking at his son.

  Good Lord, he had a son.

  They had a son she’d never bothered to mention when she tried to give him the boot last night.

  “Addison, can I speak with you?”

  “May I,” Andy corrected with a syrup-coated smile.

  “May I,” Drew said through gritted teeth.

  “Right after breakfast.” She didn’t meet his gaze as she sat down and served herself.

  “I don’t think this should wait.”

  “I disagree. Go on and eat while it’s still hot.”

  He set down the fork, unable to tolerate another bite.

  “What’s wrong?” Andy took a big gulp of milk and then dragged another bite of pancake through the river of syrup on his plate.

  “Nothing.” Drew tried to smile. “Just full up.”

  “Mom’s a good cook.”

  “I’ve always thought so,” Drew agreed. It wasn’t the kid’s fault his mother had lied to him his whole life. Technically, it wasn’t her fault, either, though that line was blurred by the way she’d tried to get rid of him so quickly. Maybe, when this news had a chance to sink in, he’d stop blaming her for the emotions tearing through him.

  Eight years. She’d been pregnant on their wedding day. When the hell had she planned on telling him? He wanted to believe he would’ve found a way to tell the army no if he’d known that detail, but in those days he’d boasted a bigger-than-life confidence. He probably would’ve taken the assignment anyway, knowing it had been a quick-strike plan.

  Nothing quick about eight years, he thought. She’d gone through all of it alone. Pregnancy, childbirth, Andy’s first steps, first word, first day of school. Her parents gone, her fiancé—the father of her child—presumed dead. She’d done it all without any family support. No wonder she thought she could manage this situation with Everett on her own.

  His hands clenched. He wanted to put his fist through the face of the man who’d overseen his torture. He’d missed too much of their lives, but if he had his way, he wouldn’t miss anything from this point forward.

  He studied Addi, but she was focused on her food. “You talked to my dad before. When?” With so many questions in his head, he couldn’t seem to get the words out in the right order to satisfy his curiosity.

  “I’ll explain everything after breakfast.”

  He didn’t believe her. Even knowing it was irrational, he wanted to blame her for this overwhelming sense of loss. “I’m done eating,” he snapped, pushing back from the table. Andy’s eyes went wide and Drew felt the shame of scaring him. “Pardon me.” He sat down again. “It’s been a long few days.”

  “It’s okay.” Andy nodded with a wisdom beyond his years. “Did you have to drive forever in an old car, too?”

  Drew looked to Addi for an interpretation.

  She finally met his gaze. “I traded my car for something o
lder for our summer adventure. Andy soon discovered how much we rely on modern conveniences like power windows.”

  “I’m done,” Andy announced. “May I be excused, please?”

  “Yes. Leave your dishes and go brush your teeth. We’ll go exploring in a little bit.”

  He slid out of the chair, then walked over to Drew and motioned him to lean down. “She lets you leave the table when you ask nice.”

  The advice, delivered in a serious whisper, had Drew grinning right along with his son. “Thanks for the tip.”

  * * *

  ADDISON HELD HER BREATH, her heart thudding in her chest. The ornery grins on both faces were nearly identical. It made her ache for all the moments they’d never get back. She knew he was furious with her, the army, whoever else might have wrecked his mission. And after urging him to leave last night, she knew he had to be thinking she’d never planned to tell him the truth.

  “Everett isn’t his father.”

  “I’ve already said that.” And by some miracle, she’d discovered Craig’s true nature before he ever could be. “Andy liked him. Loved him like a dad,” she admitted through the hurt and embarrassment. “He isn’t happy with my change of plans.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  She rubbed at the place where Craig’s engagement ring had been. “You have to know this now?”

  “I think I’ve waited long enough.”

  “Oh, please. That’s bu— baloney,” she corrected, glancing toward the bathroom. Appetite gone, she gathered dishes into a stack in front of her. “You walked back into my world less than twelve hours ago. Hardly a display of patience worthy of praise.”

  “You weren’t going to tell me.” His brown eyes were full of hurt and betrayal, but she refused to accept it as her sole responsibility.

  “I told you plenty of times. You just weren’t around to hear it.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Watch your language.” She glared at him. “And lower your voice. He doesn’t need to hear us fighting.”

  “We wouldn’t be fighting if you’d been honest with me.”

  “Like you’ve been so honest living in Detroit without so much as a note when you came home? I’ve never lied to you. I’ve never had the chance.”

  “What about last night?”

  She shook her head. “I didn’t lie.”

  “You sure didn’t volunteer the information.”

  “I was in shock,” she said in her defense. “The primary reason I let you stay last night was so we could talk about this today.”

  “Right.” His glare would’ve sliced through steel, but she found herself equally infuriated with him. “When did you know?”

  She knew what he was asking, but she made him clarify, just to buy herself a little time. “Know what?”

  He stood up and in two strides he was towering over her. Pinned between his solid chest and the sturdy sink, she didn’t feel the least bit threatened. No, her heart thrilled at his proximity and she inhaled his masculine scent. The woodstove had nothing on Drew when it came to creating heat.

  “When did you know you were carrying my child?”

  “Our wedding day.” The memories came rushing back. With all the excitement of getting married, she’d barely had a moment to think about when and how she’d tell him. At the reception? Over strawberries and a single sip of champagne in the honeymoon suite? She remembered wanting to tell him before the morning sickness gave it away. “I did the test that morning.”

  Drew studied her, but she didn’t know what he hoped to find. There was no reason for her to lie.

  “I’m ready!” Andy came running in, shoes in one hand, ball cap in the other. “Can we show Drew the gator slide? Do you think the turtles will be out?”

  Drew stepped back, his scowl vanishing as he knelt down to look Andy in the eye. “Have you seen any of the swamp by boat yet?”

  “Uh-uh.” Her son’s eyes lit with excitement. “Mom said she’d teach me the boat later. Are you gonna take me out?”

  Drew nodded. “If your mom says yes, I’ll take you both out.”

  She had to fight the tears that threatened. How many times had she wished for this very thing? For Drew to see his amazing son, to be a part of Andy’s life. Then she remembered what had brought him to their hiding place, what had dragged him away from his new life in Detroit. “Drew and I have a few things to talk about. Then we’ll see if the boat is still an option.” He’d been home for more than a year and hadn’t so much as called to check on her. She wasn’t about to hop in his boat and pretend nothing had gone wrong.

  Andy’s happy expression bottomed out. “You really mean it’s not an option.”

  “No. I mean there’s more to consider than a simple yes or no. Drew might have other things to do.”

  “Uh-huh.” Deflated, Andy plopped down to put on his shoes. “Can we at least go see the gator slide?”

  “Yes,” she said with more enthusiasm than she felt. She turned to Drew. “Do you want to clean up first?”

  “I think a gator slide takes priority.”

  She appreciated his understanding of Andy’s impatience. “Let’s head out, then.”

  Andy led the way down the steps and pointed out everything he’d learned about the swamp. It seemed as though every sentence began with “Nico said” or “Mom told me.” Thankfully, Drew seemed content to listen, giving Andy his full attention and giving her space to come to terms with this latest upheaval.

  Walking through the quiet swamp beside Drew, the first and only man she’d loved with her whole self, was a miracle in itself. But how could she make him understand and bridge the gap between them, not knowing where his side began? And how would she ever explain to her son that his father had fallen back into their lives like an angel from heaven?

  Andy gave a cheer when she agreed to let him climb a tree. Drew gave him a boost, then stepped back to watch.

  “I’m not leaving you out here alone,” he said for her ears only, his tone firm. “Everett won’t stop searching. You’re a liability to him.”

  “I took precautions.”

  “While that’s great, it doesn’t change anything. You need to trust me to bring you in safely.”

  If only it were that easy. “Stay and play bodyguard if you have to. I understand why you feel you should, especially now, but I’m not going anywhere close to a government agency while Everett’s loose.”

  “Then I hope Nico brought you enough supplies for three.”

  In all her fantasies of a real family vacation, Mama Leonie’s swamp shack had never entered the equation. This was outrageous, yet, as she watched Drew advise Andy, as he encouraged their son, something about it felt absolutely right. It scared her nearly as much as it pleased her.

  She reminded herself to stay firm. She couldn’t allow the echo of her past feelings for Drew to color the tough decisions now. Thanks to time and circumstances, they were different people now. Even if she trusted that what she felt in this moment was real, she couldn’t give in to emotions he might never return.

  Chapter Seven

  “What’s a perm-a-meter?” Andy asked as Drew’s footsteps faded down the steps and away from the shack.

  Addison stirred the pot of gumbo simmering on the top of the stove. They’d eat as soon as Drew returned. “Perimeter.” She waited while Andy practiced the word, praising him when he said it correctly. “A perimeter is an outline of an object or area. If you drew a line around the table, that would be the table’s perimeter.”

  “Huh.”

  She nodded, smiling to herself. The whole day had been one question after another as Andy absorbed everything Drew said and did.

  There were definite similarities, beyond the eyes and the fascination with comic books. Both Drew and Andy enjoyed exploring. From climbing the tree to watching fish ripple under the water of the swamp to spotting the various birds, they couldn’t seem to get enough of their surroundings. Or each other.

&nbs
p; “Why does Drew have to check it?”

  So far, she’d only told him Drew was a friend, but she knew that wasn’t going to satisfy her curious son for long. Or Drew. She dreaded bedtime when she couldn’t use Andy as an excuse to avoid the hard conversation Drew was determined to have.

  Why couldn’t it be enough for him to know Andy was his? She didn’t want to share her son. Anyone could look at Andy and know she’d been doing quite well as a single mom. Swiping the back of her hand across her forehead, she hated how childish that sounded.

  Her emotions were twisted in agonizing clumps and she had no idea how to loosen them. There had to be a way through this mess so things could become smooth and familiar again. She took a deep breath. They were adults. Two reasonable people stuck in awkward circumstances. No one’s fault, though a small, petty part of her wanted to blame him. If not him, then definitely the army, but that was a useless exercise that would only make her bitter.

  Even as her wedding day fell apart, she’d understood why Drew had accepted the unexpected assignment. It made her feel like a horrible person to stand here wishing he’d stayed in Detroit. Not forgotten, but definitely part of her past.

  Until this debacle with Craig, she’d done pretty damn well. As a mom and as a corporate attorney. She didn’t need Drew and his sense of duty and honor throwing another wrench in her life plan.

  “Will Drew stay with us for the whole summer adventure?”

  Addison feared that was exactly what would happen. “He’ll be with us for a while. I’m not sure how long.” It would be impossible to outrun him, but she hadn’t yet given up on finding a way to make him leave.

  “I like Drew.”

  “I’m glad. He’s a good person,” she added. It made her ache to hear how much her son wanted a father. She’d done her best to instill a sense of his father in Andy, to let him know his dad loved him, but she was discovering a memory—even a heroic one—was a poor substitute for the real thing.

  “He watches you.”

  Addison’s pulse skipped. “What do you mean?”

  “When you aren’t looking he stares at you.”

  “Well.” She didn’t know what to say. “He keeps an eye on you, too. As our friend, he wants to be sure neither of us gets hurt.”