by Gemma James
I brought my hands up and pulled out the gag. “I didn’t sleep with him!”
He dropped to his knees in front of me, and his hands came up to frame my cheeks. At first, his touch was gentle, but as he brought his face closer, he dug his fingers into my skin. “You better consider your next words carefully, because if you lie to me about this—”
“It’s the truth,” I interrupted. “I didn’t sleep with him.”
“I saw you guys. You were all over each other and barely made it through the fucking door.”
“Obviously, you didn’t stick around.” I jerked back until his hands dropped. “I made him leave.”
His mouth claimed mine, hard and insistent. I whimpered, but he ate it up, leaving me to question if I’d made any sound at all. He pulled away and searched my face. “You promise you didn’t sleep with him?”
“Yes,” I said, tears still streaming down my face. “I couldn’t. It didn’t feel right.”
“But when we’re together…it feels right, doesn’t it?”
I choked on my answer.
“Do you love me, Kayla?”
“It doesn’t matter what I feel. I can’t live like this! You can’t just do whatever you want because you’re jealous.”
He shook his head. “I won’t live without you, so I guess that leaves you with two options. One, you can fight me every step of the way, but you’re still not leaving. Or there’s option two.”
“What’s option two?”
“You can accept we’re meant to be together and compromise with me.”
I arched a brow. “You, compromise?”
“Yes. Compromising isn’t something I do easily, but I love you enough that I’d do it for you.”
I scoffed. “How nice. You’ll be a decent human being because you love me. Are you listening to yourself? Does any of this really penetrate your thick skull? This”—I gestured between him and me—“isn’t normal! You don’t treat someone you love like this. This here…this is a watered down version of what Rick put me through. Why would I go back to that?”
“Don’t you ever compare me to that piece of shit again. I might hurt you, but I’ll never harm you.”
“But you do harm me. Every time you take the choice from me, and I’ll be damned if I let your methods corrupt my daughter. I want her to know what love is. If I stay with you, she’ll grow up believing this is how relationships are supposed to be.”
“No,” he said in a level tone. “We’ll contain the more unconventional aspects of our relationship to our bedroom and down here. She’ll never be exposed to anything inappropriate. I’ll protect her. I’ll protect you too. No one will ever hurt you again, including me.”
My gaze dropped to the front of his pants where his belt had been moments ago. “What do you call beating me?”
“Punishment.” He slipped his fingers between my legs. “Your wet cunt suggests my belt isn’t such a punishment after all. I’ll have to come up with more interesting methods.”
Every part of me tingled at his touch. I didn’t have the energy to deny it. Everything this man did turned me on, and I’d long ago forgotten whether he’d conditioned the response from me, or if it had been there all along.
There were no more lines; they’d blurred until nothing but pixilated confusion remained.
He rose, picked up his belt from the floor, and wound it through his pant loops. I silently watched as he crossed the room where he pulled out a silky robe from a closet. Sticking out a hand, he helped me to my feet and held the garment open for me to slide my arms into. His fingers tangled with mine as he led me to the couch.
“Now, let’s talk boundaries,” he said after we were sitting side by side.
“I’m listening.” I’d hear him out, and then I’d get the hell out of there with Eve the first chance I got.
“I need to know your hard limits.”
I reached into the vault of my memory and tried to recall the research I’d done into BDSM last year. “Hard limits…those are things that won’t be done under any circumstances, right?”
“Yes.”
My gaze swerved to the wall where he kept his paddles and whips. The sight of the long and thin one, coiled against the wall like a lethal snake, sent terror into me despite his efforts to use it without anger. That night replayed in my mind, and I grew even wetter between my thighs. He’d done something to me that night.
The night I’d gone to him on my own.
But that whip…
“I don’t want whips or paddles. Your belt”—I swallowed hard—“is my limit, as long as you don’t use it when you’re mad.”
His attention landed on the whip too, and he frowned. “You’re scared of the bullwhip.” With a sigh, he dragged his fingers through his hair. “That’s my fault. I wish I could take back what I did, but I can’t.” He paused, seeming to consider. “Okay. No bullwhip. We’ll revisit this conversation in a few months. Maybe you’ll change your mind by then.”
I doubted it, but I remained silent.
“What else, Kayla?”
“Nipple clamps.”
“Absolutely not. Those aren’t going anywhere.”
“Why?” I cocked my head and studied him. I was genuinely curious.
“They look sexy as fuck on you.”
They also hurt like hell. “I don’t like them.”
He lowered his hands to my chest, parted the robe, and his eyes wandered over my breasts. I stopped breathing when he bent and sucked a nipple into his mouth.
“Gage…” Just like that, he stole my breath and the last bit of composure I had left. I fisted my hands until my nails bit into my palms. “No clamps,” I mumbled, though my demand would have carried more weight if I hadn’t said it with a moan.
He pulled back, and his eyes rose to meet mine. “This is called compromising. Bullwhip or clamps—you only get one as a hard limit.”
I bit my lip. The clamps hurt, but the whip terrified me. “This isn’t compromising. You’re using my fear against me to get your way.”
“Okay, the clamps will only be used as punishment.”
“You’re an asshole.”
His mouth quirked into a grin. “Calling me names might constitute a punishment.”
“I stand by my previous observation. I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. You’ll always get what you want.”
He tilted his head. “True. But I do care what you want too. So no bullwhips, and clamps used sparingly. Now what else?”
“I want to see my daughter.”
“Soon. What else?”
I opened my mouth, prepared to mention all kinds of horrible things I didn’t want, but when I thought back to every moment I’d spent with him, nothing formed. My mind was a blank canvas, unnerving me so deeply that I shuddered. Why couldn’t I remember the bad?
Why was the good—the unbelievably good—running through my mind like a hot porno? And then it hit me.
“No anal sex.”
He laughed. “No deal.”
I sprang to my feet and glared at him. “Then rape me again, Gage, because that’s what you’ll have to do. I’m done with this conversation. I’ve told you my limits, but you’ve shot down almost every one of them.” I crossed my arms. “What’s the point?”
He rose to his full height and stood close enough so his breath warmed my face, and his eyes smoldered in that familiar way—the way that made me fear and want him all at once. I tensed, waiting for him to grab me and force me to the bed. I was in for it now, since the subject of anal had precipitated this particular standoff.
He leaned down, and I thought he was going to kiss me, but he spoke instead. “No anal,” he said, inches from my mouth. “No anal until you beg me for it.”
“That will never happen.”
“We’ll see.” He snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “I think we’ve covered hard limits. Now let’s talk about what you do like.”
Oh God.
I
gulped. So not going there now. “I want to see Eve.”
“Okay, we’ll continue this conversation later. Maybe you can show me what you like, though I already have a few ideas.” His mouth brushed mine, barely a touch but enough to make my pulse thready. “You’re anxious to see your daughter, and I can understand that.” He inched back, and his expression grew severe. New flutters of dread winged in my stomach. “But I need you to say yes to something before I let you through that door, Kayla.”
“Wh…what is it?”
He reached into his pocket and withdrew a velvet box, and when he flipped the lid open, I thought I’d pass out. “I want you to marry me.”
“No!” I shoved away from him, stumbling as my grip on sanity teetered. “You’re insane. I’m not marrying you!”
He avoided eye contact as he shut the ring box. I couldn’t even recall what the stone had looked like—my mind was too hazed with shock.
“I’m not letting you out of here until you say yes.”
“You wouldn’t.” He’d never terrified me so much. “What would you do with Eve?”
“Let’s hope you never find out.” He strode toward the staircase, and I hurried after him, desperation fueling every step.
“Don’t do this! She needs me.” Tears threatened again, but I held them back. He didn’t respond to them anyway. Not in a way that was favorable to me.
He whirled to face me. “If you come anywhere near these stairs, I’ll tie you to the bed before I leave.”
My body froze. “Please, I’m begging you, Gage.”
“It’s Master. When we’re down here or in our bedroom, you’ll address me as Master.”
Like hell I would.
“Get some sleep,” he barked. “I’ll bring in lunch later, and hopefully by then you’ll have changed your mind.”
8. Yes
The day commenced with the biggest standoff of my life. He brought in lunch, opened that little dreaded box, and then promptly shut it and left without a word after I said no. The same thing happened at dinnertime. He wouldn’t budge, and he refused to engage in conversation despite my pleading, so negotiating was out of the question.
Most disturbing of all? He didn’t touch me, even though the heat in his eyes told me how badly he wanted to. His restraint said it all. I was screwed. He was being stubbornly serious about this, and I’d lost our battle of wills before it had begun. When it came to Eve, I’d already proven I’d do anything for her.
The sound of his entrance the next morning made my heart speed up.
“You can eat breakfast down here by yourself, or you can join Eve and me. It’s your choice,” he said as he pulled the ring box from his pocket. “Are you ready to say yes?”
No, not even close, but being away from Eve was killing me, and I couldn’t stand the thought of how scared she must be wondering where I was. I’d do anything to get to her, even let Gage put a ring on my finger if it meant he’d let me out of this damn room.
“I’ll marry you.”
I was unprepared for the grin that widened his mouth; it wasn’t smug, triumphant, or even cocky. I felt that unrestrained smile in the pit of my stomach. My answer made him happy.
Genuinely so, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
His hand slid along mine as he pushed the ring onto my finger, and God, it was gigantic. The diamond, a princess cut, sparkled in a beautiful antique setting. He gathered me into his arms and buried his nose in my hair.
“I can’t wait to get you in bed underneath me. I’ve missed you so damn much.”
I sucked in a breath and held it. He finally released me, took my hand, and pulled me toward the stairs.
Eve’s eyes lit up the instant she saw me. She hopped into my arms with her usual exuberance. “I missed you, Mommy. Are you all better now?”
I sent Gage a confused look.
“I explained to her how you weren’t feeling well.”
“Yeah, baby. I’m better now.” My eyes stung as I held her tight. I was so much better now that I had her in my arms.
“Come see my room!” She slid down my body, and her feet pitter-pattered across the sheen of hardwood. I sensed Gage’s presence behind me as I followed her down a hallway, past the master bedroom I couldn’t bring myself to look into, and when I rounded the door frame to the next room, I stood motionless, my mouth hanging open.
The room was a four-year-old’s dream come true. A canopy bed enclosed in filmy tulle sat along one wall, and shelves upon shelves of toys and books took up another. Every nook and cranny overflowed with the princess theme.
The bastard had bought my daughter, but what really unsettled me was the evidence in front of me; he’d planned this.
I clenched my hands and tried to contain my anger. I couldn’t compete, and she’d be so disappointed to go back to our life, assuming I could find a way out of there in the first place.
“Do you like it, Mommy?”
“It’s very…nice.”
“Look at the pretty tea cups!” She shot across the room to a table in the corner and lifted a dainty cup from its saucer. “Will you play tea party with me?”
“I will in a few minutes. I have to talk to Gage first.” I backed into the hall and moved out of earshot of Eve. His presence filled the narrow space, and the shadows the early morning sun hadn’t yet chased away only added to the threatening undertone of this situation, this moment. I made myself stand tall as I faced him.
“How dare you!”
He moved toward me, and instinctively, I backed away until my spine hit wall. “How dare I what? Make her happy? Give her things? She’s had a blast since she’s been here, despite missing you.”
“You know I can’t give her all of that.” My voice shook, so I took a deep breath. “How will I explain all of this after we…”
“After you what?” He aligned his body with mine. “Leave? Entertaining thoughts of skipping out on me, are you? Even though you’re wearing my mother’s ring.”
His words carried special weight, as if they meant something…something I was supposed to understand? But I didn’t. I was floundering in a sea of turbulence, the waters deep and murky so the unknown remained just that.
He brought my left hand to his mouth and kissed the ring. “You’re not going anywhere,” he murmured. He pulled away but flattened his palms against the wall on either side of me.
He was right. I wasn’t going anywhere, not even from this hallway.
“How long do you plan to keep us prisoner?”
“As long as it takes.”
“You can’t keep us locked away forever. Eve needs to be in preschool, and she’s in remission. She has appointments—”
“You think I don’t realize that? I’m aware you have obligations as a mother, but if I have to, I can hire someone to transport her.” He leaned closer. “But I don’t think it’ll take long. I think you’re exactly where you want to be.”
“You’re overly confident,” I snapped, focusing on his chest even though I felt his gaze burning into me.
“And you’re in denial.” His hands smoothed over my cheeks before slipping into my hair. He tilted my head up. “You wouldn’t have sent him away if you didn’t feel this too.”
My lids closed to the softness of his tone because the sight of him amplified everything. His lips pressed against mine, and our mouths opened, tongues sliding together slowly. He took his time kissing me, as if making up for the last twenty-four hours he’d gone without touching me.
I came back to myself sometime later, my hands fisted in his hair as his pelvis rocked with mine, and I thought of Eve’s proximity. We needed to be more responsible; in fact, we needed to be more responsible in general. “If you intend to keep me here—”
“I am keeping you here.” He lifted me and urged my legs around his waist. “And I’m going to sink into your body every night.”
“Then we need to talk about birth control.”
“What about it?”
“We
didn’t use any in Texas.”
He paused. “I guess we didn’t.”
I moaned as he ground his erection into me. “We can’t be so reckless.”
“I’ll get you a prescription today,” he said, hips still rocking. At this point, our clothing was the only thing stopping us.
Eve.
I didn’t want her witnessing something so inappropriate. I pushed against him until he let me down. “Not here. Eve’s—”
“I know,” he interrupted, his chest heaving. “Later. Go spend some time with your daughter. I’ll make breakfast.”
He stepped away, but I grasped his hand. “Wait…is Katherine still here?” The thought of facing her again was more than I could stand.
“No. She left yesterday.”
“What is she to you?” Why had I asked that? I didn’t want to know, didn’t want to hear about her at all, but the question had nagged me since I’d seen her on the plane.
“She’s nothing. She doesn’t matter.”
“She matters, Gage. You entrusted my daughter to her. Damn right she matters.”
Gage’s mouth flattened into a hard line. “We have an…understanding.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What kind of understanding?”
“She helps me, and I help her fight her ex in court for custody of their son. Everyone wins.”
Except for Eve and me. We didn’t win.
I watched him disappear down the hall, and I waited a few moments before creeping after him. If I remembered correctly, I couldn’t get to the front door without walking in direct sight of the kitchen. I peeked around the corner, and he stared right at me.
“Need something?”
I shook my head. The quirk of his mouth told me he knew what I was up to, and I said the first thing that came to mind. “Can you make pancakes? She loves them.” I turned to join Eve, but his voice stopped me.
