by Gemma James
“You won’t get around me, Kayla. I won’t let my guard down.”
Neither will I.
But I was lying to myself. The minute he got me in bed, he’d have me.
9. Love Me
The three of us spent the day together watching movies and playing games. It was the oddest sight ever, seeing Gage crouched on the floor playing something as elementary as Candy Land. Witnessing how Eve responded to him disturbed me on all kinds of levels. He kept up a constant stream of chatter with her that night during dinner, as if he talked to children on a daily basis. He asked about her favorite shows, if she knew how to sing her ABC’s; he even asked what she wanted for her birthday, though that was still a couple months away.
He was using her innocence to worm his way into her heart, and I could do nothing to stop it. Not unless I wanted to cause a scene in front of Eve, which I didn’t. He cleaned up after dinner while I gave her a bath, and afterward, as I tucked her into bed, he lingered in the doorway watching us. I wasn’t ready to leave her alone yet, but even more so, I wasn’t ready to be alone with him.
“Do we live here now? I like my room.” Her question was so guileless, it broke my heart.
I forced a smile. “We’ll see. Goodnight, baby.” My gaze darted to Gage. “I’ll be in the next room, okay?”
She nodded as she sank into her blankets, and her eyes fluttered closed. I turned on the nightlight before shutting off the overhead light. Gage led me down the hall, and we stopped in front his bedroom—the room he expected me to share with him. I couldn’t fathom calling that space ours.
“What if she wakes up?” I asked.
“I installed child monitors in our room and down in the basement. We’ll hear her.” His gaze wandered down my body. “I have to take care of a few things in my office first,” he said, pointing to another door at the mouth of the hallway. “I’ll leave the door open.”
I didn’t miss the warning in his tone. He’d always be watching me; that much was clear.
“There’s a private bath off the master suite. Prepare for me. When you’re done, I expect you on your knees waiting.”
“And if I don’t?”
“I’ll punish you.” He smiled as his attention dropped to my chest. “I wouldn’t mind seeing your nipples clamped and aching. You think the ones I used last year were bad? I have worse sets.”
Just like that, he’d transitioned me back into the role of submissive. I shrank into myself, keeping my eyes downcast as the sheer presence of his body closed in.
“Wait for me on your knees, thighs spread and hands behind your back.” His breath heated my forehead. “I want you naked. Understand?”
I nodded.
“How do you address me, Kayla?”
“Master is my safe word.”
“Like hell it is.”
I raised my eyes to his. “You got what you want. You have me here following your orders, but I won’t call you Master. So beat me, rape me, show me how ugly you can get. I’ll never call you that again.”
His eyes narrowed. “You did the other night.”
“What are you talking about?”
“In Texas, when we were fucking, you called me Master.”
I reached into my memories and recalled the word slipping from my traitorous lips. “I was caught up in the moment.”
His grin was positively evil. “So if we’re ‘in the moment,’ and you utter that word because you want to come so badly, should that be my cue to stop since that’s your safe word?”
I bit down on my tongue to keep from coming unglued. He was the most infuriating man I’d ever known. “You mentioned compromising.”
He gave a slight nod. “I did.”
“Can we at least compromise on this?”
He leaned into me. “What do you have in mind?”
“I’ll call you Master when we’re…”
“Say it. Fucking.”
“I’ll call you Master when we’re fucking.” That word struck me as all kinds of wrong. What we did transcended a casual coupling, despite my protests to the contrary. “But you have a name, and I’ll use it.”
“I am your Master. You don’t have to say the word—we both know it’s true.” He smirked. “Wait for me on your knees. I don’t care how long it takes. Don’t move from that position until I say otherwise.” He backed away a couple of steps. “I bet you’re getting wet just thinking about it.”
“You’re an asshole.” But he was right. I was getting achingly warm between my legs.
“And you need to be punished. I’ll be in shortly.” He turned and strode down the hall.
I stumbled into the room on jittery limbs and entered the private bath. He’d be a while. I was almost sure of it, so I took my time in grooming for him. Like a good little slave.
God, what the hell am I doing here?
He hadn’t left me with any other choice, but at the same time…I wasn’t fighting him as hard as I could be. I shaved every inch of my legs and worked on my bikini area. Afterward, I pulled a brush through my thick locks.
And then I surrendered to his demands.
I kept my hands clasped behind me and thighs spread, and the floor became uncomfortable beneath my knees. Cool air drifted between them, igniting more heat in the place he owned. My nipples pebbled in the chilly room.
He was going to clamp them. I’d mouthed off to him one too many times, and now I’d pay the price. I almost groaned at the thought. Why couldn’t he fuck me like a normal man?
Normal doesn’t get you off so good.
So it was true; I was a masochist after all.
Even though I was waiting for him, I jumped when he pushed the door open. “Close your eyes,” he demanded.
My lids fluttered closed, and I strained to hear him, picking up his quiet steps as he neared me. He covered my eyes with a satiny piece of cloth.
“Part your lips.”
My mouth opened, breath escalating at the sound of his tone, which sparked through me like fireworks.
He pressed on my lower lip before slipping a finger inside to stroke my tongue. “Don’t speak, and I won’t gag you. I know you don’t like when I do that, so I won’t as long as you behave. But you will get the clamps. I won’t stand for you disrespecting me.”
His finger left my mouth, and he gently rolled a nipple between thumb and forefinger. His caress made me ache so intensely that I almost begged him to take me. His touch was a tease at first until he pinched hard. He applied the most excruciating clamp imaginable, and I managed to remain silent until he did the same to the other side.
I cried out and jerked away. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean—”
He pressed a finger against my mouth. “Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. When I’m ready to remove them, I’ll remove them, but not a second sooner. Endure it, Kayla, and the next time you have the urge to call me ‘asshole,’ you’ll remember this pain.”
Asshole.
If I didn’t rebel vocally, at least I could silently. I remained still as the dead and sensed him standing before me the entire time, his eyes on the vises that caused me so much pain but turned him on all the more. My eyes stung and watered, and after a while my nipples went numb.
It was going to hurt like hell when he removed them.
He did so without warning, and I bit my lip hard to keep quiet as pain flooded my sensitive peaks. He slipped a hand between my legs. “See? Not nearly as wet as you were after I used my belt on you. This is definitely a more effective punishment.”
“Gage?”
“Yes?”
“We never established a safe word.”
“Pick one now.”
“Um…I can’t think of one.”
“Then we’ll use yellow and red. Yellow means you’re uncomfortable with what I’m doing and you want me to slow down. Red means stop so we can assess.”
“Okay.”
“Doesn’t apply to punishments though. You don’t get a safe word during those.”
&
nbsp; Of course I didn’t. Had I expected otherwise? The sound of his clothing whispered to the floor, and I wished I could see him. His finger wedged between my lips and pushed down until my jaw went slack.
“Keep your mouth parted just like that.” The wet tip of his cock tickled my tongue, and his taste brought back all kinds of memories; mostly of fear and hatred, overshadowed by intense desire. He bathed my lips with his moisture, and I didn’t know if he was going to fuck my mouth like he had so many times in the past, or if he only intended to tease.
“We never discussed introducing new things. We’ll try them, and if you’re uncomfortable, you can tell me later, but you can’t deny me something until we’ve tried it.”
Nervous tension spread through me. What was he proposing now? And I was getting sick of him making up the rules as he went along.
“What do you—”
He shoved his cock all the way in. “I’m going to come on your face.” He slipped in and out of my mouth, quick and rough, and his ragged breathing roared in my ears. I didn’t have time to process what he intended—didn’t have time to agree or disagree. I gagged as he pushed deep, and he came in a rapid burst. Some of his cum hit the back of my throat before he yanked out of my mouth. He pulled the blindfold from my eyes, and his thick and warm liquid flowed over my forehead, down my nose and cheeks, and lingered on my lips. I darted my tongue out to clean them.
“Fuck, that’s a sight. My cum all over that gorgeous face of yours.” He gazed at me, entranced for several moments before helping me to my feet. “Go clean up, then crawl to me on your hands and knees.”
I scurried into the bathroom, my pulse thrumming at my collarbone. I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror. She looked insanely aroused with her face and lips damp from the essence of him, her eyes mud brown with want.
I wasn’t me anymore. I hadn’t been me for a very long time. He’d taken what was left and had locked it away somewhere in the vault of his possession. I lifted my left hand, wiggled my fingers, and stared at the rock. He was steamrolling me again. Compromise didn’t exist between us; he was getting exactly what he wanted.
“Kayla, hurry up!”
I splashed cool water on my face, dried off with a towel, and then got to my hands and knees. Cold tile smoothed into hardwood as I left the bathroom. Maybe I could talk him into putting carpet in; these floors were killing me. I glanced up as I crawled to him.
“Eyes on the floor.”
Lowering my head, I watched my hands take me closer to him, ring sparkling from the light overhead. His bare feet came into view, and I stalled in that spot, staring at his beautiful feet. Everything about him appealed to me, and I hated it.
“Kiss my feet, Kayla.”
The fucked up part about this? I leaned down and did so without a second thought.
“You are mine. You follow my commands so well. I bet if I brought out the bullwhip, you’d take it right now.”
He was probably right. I was lost in my desire for him, but I still managed to utter two words. “You promised.”
“And I keep my promises. No bullwhip. But I am your Master. Just because you refuse to say the word doesn’t mean you don’t think it, don’t act on it.” He stepped back a few feet. “Put your nose to the floor and spread your arms out in front of you.”
I stretched my body, nose to the floor, in the ultimate pose of submission.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous. God, Kayla, get up. I need you so bad right now I’m about to explode.”
I got to my feet, and he swept me into his arms. The light went out an instant before he crawled over me on the bed. I sank into the soft mattress, and we meshed together, naked body against naked body as he cradled my face in his hands. I breathed in his breath and tasted my own need.
“Kayla,” he said before dropping his forehead to mine. “I’ve fucked you all kinds of ways, but tonight…I just want to love you.”
“Then love me,” I choked. A tear trickled down my cheek. His words filled me up so much. I gasped for air, overcome by it all, by the sensation of his body against mine, our hearts beating in sync. He was like several people rolled into one, but right at this moment, this version of him had me.
I was his forever.
“Do you forgive me?” he asked.
“I…I’m trying.”
“Do you love me?”
“I’m trying not to.”
“You’re good at obeying me, so try less hard on that second point.”
He raised my arms over my head, and his fingers trailed down the sides of my breasts as he kissed a wet path to my navel, over the scars of my past. “I could murder him for doing this to you.” His fingers brushed over my stab wounds. “You’re still perfection though.” He swirled his tongue there, but I felt his kiss everywhere.
Another tear leaked out; he was cleansing me of the pain I’d carried with me for so long. “Don’t break my heart, Gage.”
“I’ll protect your heart.” He kissed his way south, down my thighs until he reached my knees. He placed a kiss on each one before pushing them apart, and I shivered as his breath fanned over me. “Come as many times as you need to. Don’t wait, don’t ask for permission. You have it.” His fingers entered me first, followed by the intense heat of his mouth claiming me. I wrapped my fingers around the bars of the headboard and moaned.
He’d never made me come this way before, and I wanted it so badly—wanted my taste flooding his senses. His tongue circled, once, twice, three times, and I cried his name. He spiraled a finger inside me, plunging deeper. The headboard shook as I held on, my body arching…arching until I thought I’d break. Still, he didn’t stop.
My legs trembled, cramped, and I bucked my hips in desperation, wanting more his mouth, more of his fingers. More of him. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. The slide of his tongue felt incredibly good, so hot and wet and making me throb from the heels of my feet to the top of my head. I was about to fly apart underneath him.
And then he did the unthinkable. He stopped.
“Oh God! Don’t stop!” I was a mess, tears drenching my face, body shaking, heart racing way ahead of me, and he was fucking stopping? “Please, I’m begging you. Love me.”
“I do,” he said, his voice floating to me on a hoarse whisper. “Say it.”
“Say what? Damn it, Gage!” I raised my hips toward him, but he didn’t put his mouth on me again.
“Who am I?”
I lifted my head and saw the shadow of him crouched between my knees, like a predator about to feast. “You’re my damn Master! You own me, body, mind, soul. Please…God…don’t stop.” Out of breath, I collapsed against the mattress again, and when his tongue burrowed into my sex, I screamed and shattered. My hands left the headboard and fisted his hair, holding him to me like a greedy whore.
But I was his whore. Just his. Only his.
He crawled up my body, and his arms enfolded me as he slipped inside, agonizingly slow. He wasn’t in a hurry this time, wasn’t a beast driven by his wants and needs. The connection between us terrified and confused me, left me in awe of this brutal yet passionate man who turned me to liquid with his touch. He gripped my face, and his kiss reached the center of my being as our bodies moved together. God, he owned me in that kiss.
“Come for me again,” he whispered, breaking our lip-lock and settling his head on my chest. “It’s the sexiest sound ever, baby.”
Another orgasm was already building, rushing through the dam he’d broken, and I cried out in short, breathless whimpers with each unhurried thrust. Warmth flooded where our bodies connected, and the heat seemed to span from here until never.
Oh God…Oh God…
“You feel so amazing,” he said, burying his face in my breasts. “I’ll never get enough.” With one final plunge, he tensed and groaned my name.
And the truth hit me with the force of a hurricane. He was making love to me. This wasn’t about fucking, wasn’t about claiming or possessing me.
This was about loving me.
10. Afterglow
We lay together afterward, a twisted bundle of limbs. His hands never stopped touching or stroking, and I realized once you got beyond the darkness in him, the whips and pain, he was the most sensual man alive.
“Still awake?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I let out a huge yawn.
His chest rumbled underneath my cheek in laughter. “Barely.”
“You worked me over good.”
“The working over was mutual, Kayla.”
A question rose but caught in my throat. I swallowed and forced it from my lips. “Why me?”
He fell silent for so long, I was certain he had no intention of answering. “I didn’t want to want you.”
I could relate.
He drew lazy circles up and down my spine. “You got to me. I noticed how much you loved your daughter…” He heaved in a breath. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“Gage, I just want—”
“Not now,” he barked.
I flinched, and he let out a sigh. “I’m always going to fuck up. I’ve got a horrible temper.” He paused. “But you already know that. You know that better than anyone.” He hauled me on top of his lap and brought my left leg over his right thigh so I straddled him.
My head fell back, mouth open though no sound escaped, as I pushed down onto his cock. He rocked into me, slow and steady.
“How could you hurt me like that?” I gasped as he pushed higher.
The glow from the clock on the nightstand illuminated his expression. He closed his eyes, and his face tensed, as if he were in pain. “I looked at you and all I saw was him.”
“What do you see now, Gage?” I lifted and slid down his smooth shaft, inch by inch.
He groaned, and his eyes opened but remained hooded. “I see this incredible, sexy woman who belongs to me.” He plastered his hands on my breasts. “Only me.”
His possessiveness shouldn’t have sent me over the edge, but it did. I collapsed onto his heaving chest afterward, slick with sweat and spent, but still yearning for answers.
