Love Always, Damian

by D. Nichole King

  A couple of days ago, when I found out Katey’s boyfriend was Toby Stanton, the NCAA national champion boxer, I’d expected this confrontation. Hell, I wanted it, which is why the thought of banging his girl that night had appealed to me—other than the actual banging, of course.

  Booze and sex alone don’t cut it for me anymore. No one touches Toby Stanton’s chicks, so pissing him off is a great way to remind myself of who I am.

  Now, though, I have Lia. And for the first time in years, I have someone in my life who means more to me than my pain.

  Toby thrusts his fist deep into my stomach. Once. Twice. Three times.

  I double over, but Toby doesn’t loosen his grip like I’d hoped. No, the dude holds on tighter. Fucking A.

  “You lay an eye on her again, I swear I’ll rip your fucking dick off and shove it up your ass. You understand?” he growls. For emphasis, he jabs his knee in my crotch.

  Holy hell!

  I see stars. Real fucking stars.

  I’m on the floor, but I don’t remember how I got there. A foot kicks into me over and over again, making contact with my head a couple of times before everything finally stops.

  “Hey, you okay?” someone asks, and all I can think about is how much I hurt. How the voice speaking to me sounds all fuzzy.

  I groan. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

  I’m not good. I just had the shit kicked out of me in front of a room full of people.

  “You’re bleeding,” the person says.

  My hand automatically flies to my head. Sure enough blood is pouring from above my swollen-shut eye.

  “That doesn’t look good, man,” he says.

  “I’ll be fine. Got a towel or something?”

  He gives me a wad of napkins, and I press them against my head.

  “We called the police,” the kid informs me, “but the guy ran out of here. If you know him, you can press charges.”

  I shake my head. “Nah. I—”

  I’m dizzy. The room is spinning, and I might puke. I have to push through this though; I have to make sure Lia’s okay.

  “I’m good,” I finish. “Sorry about all this.”

  Every eye is on me as I struggle to stand up. Mine, however, are on the door. I walk Quasimodo style toward it, ignoring the whispers from behind me.

  Dylan has my car parked right outside. I see Lia through the tinted back window, and I let out my relief. I doubt she was in danger, but dammit, shit could have gone downhill fast, and I couldn’t get to her.

  I grab for the door and collapse in the seat.

  “Dude…” Dylan says, studying me. “What the hell was that about?”

  “Me being an idiot,” I reply.

  “Daddy?” Lia’s voice travels up to me, worried and small. “Daddy, are you okay?”

  I twist around. Her eyes are glistening with tears, and I’d give anything for them not to fall. “Yeah, Lia, I’m okay.”

  “Yo, man,” Dylan says, causing me to turn back around. “That is one nasty cut.”

  I flip down the visor, remove the napkins, and examine my head in the mirror. He’s right. The wound is gaping open and hasn’t stopped bleeding.

  “Hospital?” my roommate suggests.

  “No. I’ll call Dad. Let’s get Lia home.”

  ~*~

  I’m lying on the sofa in my living room. Dad took the lampshade off the lamp, and Dylan holds the light above my head, blinding me. Real smooth operation we have going here.

  “Son, you can’t go looking for trouble. Lia could have been—”

  “Yeah, Dad, I know,” I reply. I don’t need my father rubbing in my mistakes. Karma’s a bitch, and I just got served.

  Dad sets the empty vial on the floor. I’ve had stitches before, and I know what’s coming. God, I hate needles and this is gonna sting like a mother.

  I hold my breath as he drizzles the local anesthetic over the cut. The idea is for the medicine to kick in before he jabs the needle into the wound. For the record, that’s a load of bull—the topical swash of Lidocaine doesn’t do a damn thing.

  “Damian, relax your face,” the doc says.

  “Fuck you,” I answer, and he pokes into me again.

  Lia’s supposed to be in the kitchen coloring. After what she witnessed today, she shouldn’t have to see this too, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she’s at the doorway, peeking out.

  Dad grins. “All done.”

  “Thanks for going easy on me, Dad.”

  He shrugs and goes straight for the curved needle and thread. “A little closer, Dylan,” he instructs. My roommate is good at following orders. Unlike me.

  My sure-handed father slips the needle into me. I know because I feel the tugging, not the pain anymore.

  Then my phone rings.

  “Shit. Ellie,” I say, recognizing the ring tone. “Dylan?”

  My phone is on the end table he’s sitting on. Knowing Ellie, if I don’t answer, she’ll worry something has happened, especially since we haven’t spoken in two days. I’d really rather her not find out about what happened today.

  I reach my arm above my head, which earns me sideways glare from the man with the needle. He can wait. I assume Dylan will give me my phone. He doesn’t, though. He freaking answers it.

  “Hello?...Yeah, this is Damian’s phone…Oh, hi Elizabeth.”

  I’m an idiot. Dylan answering my cell is like calling Ellie myself to say, “Hey, guess what? I royally screwed up today.”

  “He’s here. He’s, uh, preoccupied?” He says it like it’s a question, and for a smart dude, my roommate is a complete moron.

  “Give me the phone,” I demand.

  “Don’t move, son,” my dad warns me.

  “Yeah,” Dylan continues with Ellie as if he didn’t hear me. “He’ll only be a couple more minutes. How was your trip?”

  “So help me, Dylan, give me the phone,” I try again, louder this time.

  “Hold the light steady, Dylan,” Dad says, and I can sense the irritation in his voice. That’s typical, though, when I’m the patient.

  “Whoa, wait. Was that Dr. Lowell? Why is Dr. Lowell there?” Ellie’s voice filters out from the phone. Her high-pitched, worried voice.

  Terrific.

  “Lia’s fine,” my idiot roommate spouts off.

  “Shut up, Dylan. Shut. Up. Now,” I growl.

  “One more stitch,” Dad says, but it’s not because he’s being nice and informative. “Don’t move, or I’ll make it two.”

  “Dylan, tell me what’s going on!” Ellie yells.

  “I swear to you, Elizabeth, everything is fine. Lia is in the other room coloring, completely unharmed, and—”

  “Unharmed? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Is that my mommy?” Lia bounces into the room.

  Oh shit.

  “Let me talk to Lia,” Ellie demands.

  “No,” I clip out at the same time I hear Lia answer, “Hi Mommy!”

  “You gave her the phone, Dylan? You ass,” I say.

  I’m dead.

  “Grandpa’s sewing Daddy up. Some big guy at the pizza place beat him up. It was super scary, and he was saying fuck a lot. You know, that word you said is really, really bad,” Lia rattles off.

  Great.

  “No, I’m okay. He only hurt Daddy,” she tells Ellie.

  “I’m finished,” Dad says, and I spring up off the sofa. Kneel down beside Lia. “Can I speak with Ellie, please?” I ask her.

  She frowns. “But I’m not done yet.”

  “Real quick. Then I’ll give it back, I promise,” I say.

  She studies me for a second, and I can’t tell if she’s examining her grandfather’s handiwork or if she’s trying to decide if I’m lying. Either way, she hands over the phone. “Fine.”

  “Ellie? Hi,” I say like today is another average day. It’s important for her to know I have everything under control, which I do.

  “Damian! What the hell is going on there?” She’s screaming. L
oud, anxiety-ridden screaming.

  “Calm down. It’s not a big deal, Elle. A misunderstanding, but everything is perfectly fine. How was your flight?” I redirect her.

  “No way. You do not get off the hook that easy.”

  I stand up and duck into my bedroom for some privacy, even though I can hear Lia outside my door. I explain the gist of the situation, enough to pacify Ellie and make it believable. No reason to give her more than that.

  “Do I need to come back?” she asks point blank.

  I lower my voice. “No, Elle, of course not. I have everything under control. You stay there and kick some shark ass.”

  She breathes into the receiver, extending the silence between us.

  “Ellie, you gotta trust me,” I beg. Yeah, I’ve resorted to that because after today, I don’t have much dignity left. “I’ll never let anything or anyone hurt Lia.”

  Finally, she sighs. “So, are you okay?”

  I smile at the concern in her voice. “Yes, Elle. I’m okay. One stitch, that’s all that was required,” I lie. I’m pretty sure there are five or six.

  Again, I have to wait for her to answer. “Good,” she says, relief tinting her tone. “I’m glad.”

  “Talk tomorrow?” I ask, and I’m already looking forward to it.

  “Kiss Lia for me, please?”

  I glance at Lia’s empty bed. “I will.”

  “Bye, Damian.”

  “Good night, Elle,” I say, then sink down on the edge of my bed, remembering how we never used to say that before we fell asleep in my bed.

  ~*~

  We have to call Ellie back because I forgot to let Lia talk with her again. She’s on the phone for fifteen minutes before she begins to run out of things to say. After they hang up, I usher Lia to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

  “Mommy gives me baths every night,” Lia says when I tell her to brush her teeth.

  Right. A bath.

  “Uh…okay. I’ll fill up the tub.” I stick the plug in the drain and run the faucet.

  “I like bubbles,” Lia tells me.

  I did buy some of that no tears baby wash for her. I dump half of it in the water and make a mental note to pick up some bubble bath.

  Lia comes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. “Can I play with my ponies in the tub?”

  She holds up Twilight Sparkle and two others I haven’t caught the names of. Her eyebrows perch high on her forehead as she begs me with her cuteness.

  “I don’t see why not,” I reply.

  “Yes!” she squeals. “Mommy never lets me.”

  Ah, shit.

  She starts to undress and is almost naked by the time I stand up and notice.

  “Whoa. Um, let me get out of here first.” I close my eyes and slide around her.

  “Mommy stays in here with me. And if you leave, who’s going to wash my hair?”

  Her hair?

  “You can’t do that yourself?” I ask, keeping my focus on the door.

  “No.”

  I wipe a palm down my face. “Okay, uh, go put a swimming suit on.”

  “Seriously?” she drawls out, sounding more like a sixteen-year-old than a three-year-old.

  I turn around. She has her hands on her hips, one foot forward, one hip popped to the side. Her expression is priceless, and I immediately think about her mother in the exact same pose. This little girl may look like me, but she’s got Ellie written all over her.

  “Yes, seriously. Go,” I instruct, and she sulks off to dress.

  When she returns, she climbs in the tub and immediately lies down and makes a water angel. She’s laughing, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. She rolls onto her stomach, sticks her face in the water, and wiggles.

  “I’m a mermaid,” she says after blowing water out of her mouth fountain-style.

  I let her play and splash, and after the bathroom floor has more water than the bathtub, I wash her hair.

  “Okay, you’re done. Hop out,” I say.

  “I don’t want to be done, yet. I’m not all pruny.”

  I scratch my head. Check the clock and relent. “Ten more minutes.”

  “Yay!”

  Ten minutes later, while she’s putting on her jammies, I soak up the water on the floor. Ellie does this every night?

  Lia jumps in her bed and brings her blankets up to her chin. Then she peers at me with puppy-dog eyes.

  “Will you read me a story again?” she asks, her mouth doing that pouty thing she’s so good at.

  I slide out a plastic tote from under her bed. “Which one?”

  “Hmmm.” She examines each and every one before she finally settles on the one we read last night. My mom used to call that “stalling” when I was a kid, and it probably is, but I don’t care tonight.

  “My Little Pony, huh?” Shocker. I sit down on the floor beside her bed. “Okay, here we go.”

  She hangs onto every word, clutching her stuffed version of Twilight Sparkle in her arms. “Look, Twilight, there’s you!” she exclaims each time the pony shows up in the book—which is nearly every page.

  “The end,” I say and close the book. “Bedtime.”

  I half expect a retort, but when I get up to tuck her in, her eyes are already drooping. They flutter briefly, and Lia smiles. “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “You’re welcome.” I lean over her and press my lips against her forehead. “The kiss is from your mom.”

  Lia yawns, gathers her favorite blanket in her tiny hand, and sticks her thumb in her mouth.

  I chuckle to myself, the sassy image of her in the bathroom flashing through my mind again. Lia’s leaving her mark on me. Single-handed and easily, she drew me in. Filled a hole. And I don’t want to imagine my life without her now.

  “Good night, my babygirl.”

  Chapter 13

  Ellie

  I’m checked into my room at the Cairns facility. It’s more like a hotel room than an apartment. One room with a bed, a loveseat, desk, dresser, and television. Along the west wall is a tiny stove and dorm-sized refrigerator. And of course there’s a bathroom, but that’s it.

  My home for the next eight weeks.

  I don’t unpack. Instead, I sit in the middle of the bed, legs crossed. I’m still thinking about the phone call with Damian. My first response was panic. Fear because this is why I hadn’t wanted to leave Lia with him in the first place. What was I thinking? Damian has no idea how to be a parent and all the position entails. My little Lia-Kat requires two eyes on her at all times.

  Drunk guy with a steroid problem? Damian’s explanation is believable.

  The kicker is I wanted to be there. Not for Lia. For Damian.

  I fall back onto the pillows. I have to stop thinking about him. Stop wanting to comfort him. Those years are gone, and it’s time to concentrate on something else.

  Seeing him back in Iowa, though, brought all the feelings I’d tucked away to the surface again. I need to get a grip. Keep our daily phone calls about Lia and Lia alone.

  And short. Super, super short.

  Because while I’m in Cairns, my head stays in my work. It’s what I came here to do, and I’ve got to focus.

  Deep breath in.

  Let it out.

  Orientation is in the morning, and Blake and I have a dinner date tonight. Who knows? If I can manage to remove Damian from my heart, maybe something can happen with Blake.

  Lia adores him. He’s been so good to us. The guy definitely deserves a chance. So, tonight, I’m one hundred percent committed to giving it a shot.

  Being here in Australia without Lia and with Damian halfway around the world may be exactly what I need to get my love life back on track.

  ~*~

  “Right this way,” the waiter says, directing Blake and me onto the portico.

  It’s breezy, but the view of the ocean is spectacular. Water laps over the sand below us, and the golden rays of the setting sun sparkle on the waves like glitter.

  Blake pulls a chair
out for me and glides a hand over my bare shoulders as he scoots me in. He’s quite debonair in his white button-up and black suit.

  The waiter pours us each a glass of champagne before he leaves.

  Blake holds his glass up. “A toast.”

  “All right,” I say, mirroring him.

  His eyes twinkle as the flicker of the candle on our table reflects off them. “To eight weeks of pure awesomeness in the land down under with the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. Elizabeth Van Zee, to you.”

  I feel the blush coming on before it hits my face. “Cheers.”

  Our glasses clink in the middle. With gazes locked, we take our sips. I set my champagne down. The part mischievous, part delighted grin Blake has stirs a flutter in my stomach. It’s been there for a while, patiently waiting, and I’m finally ready to unleash it and see what happens.

  “This place is beautiful,” I say, flicking a glance out to sea again.

  “I made these reservations months ago. If you had decided not to come, this would have been a very lonely dinner. So thank you.”

  I slide my attention back to him. “Months ago? You sound like you were pretty sure of yourself.”

  He gives a cocky shrug that makes him seem more adorable than arrogant. “And here you are.”

  “You made it easy.”

  Blake sips at his champagne. “Elizabeth, I meant what I said. You really are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. You’re strong, resilient, and the way you take care of Lia is remarkable. Look at all you’ve accomplished since you left the Midwest. You made a whole new life for yourself, and I respect that.

  “But I gotta be honest, Elizabeth, I want in. I want to be a part of that life you’re building with Lia, and not as just a friend. I understand why you’ve kept me at arms’ length, and I’ve been okay with that, but I want more. We’re here for two months without Lia, so if it doesn’t work out, she won’t get hurt.”

  Blake reaches across the table and takes both of my hands in his, rubbing his thumb over the backs.

  “Can you give us a shot, Elizabeth?” he asks, his eyes searching mine.

  Suddenly, I’m cold. Goosebumps racing over my arms and shoulders. I’d been expecting this. Heck, I even had my answer ready. Even so, I’m caught off guard because I didn’t anticipate this conversation to happen so soon into the trip.