The Cowgirl's Little Secret

by Silver James

  The back door opened and heads swiveled, hope plastered on every face, only to be let down when Cash walked in. He held his hands at shoulder level, palms forward as if he was surrendering. “You may not want it, but I’m here to help, Cord.” His gaze snapped to Jolie and he squared his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Jolie. This is my fault. I saw CJ at the top of the stairs last night, watching what was going on. I didn’t say anything.”

  Cord made a fist, ready to take another swing at his younger brother when Chance’s hand clamped on his shoulder. “Breathe, Cord. Last night is done. We need all the help we can get to find CJ before the storm hits.”

  Cord inhaled sharply, his gaze never leaving Cash’s face until he heard Jolie move. He glanced at her and her eyes met his. She tucked her chin a bare inch, her expressive face filled with a rush of emotions. She broke their connection with a flick of her eyes toward Cash but returned to capture his gaze once more.

  “Yes,” she said, her eyes still boring into his, but her words meant for his brother. “It is your fault.” Cash winced and stepped back. “You should have said something. You should have not taken him to begin with. I...” She balled up her fist and pounded the granite top of the breakfast bar.

  Cord grabbed her hand, wrapped her up in a hug. He knew her frustration. He wanted to put his fist through a wall. Or his brother’s face. Again. But Cash was here. Apologetic. Wanting to help.

  “Jolie?” Rand called to her softly from the doorway. Cord was glad Jolie’s father had finally arrived. He let her go and she ran to the other man. Rand patted her back and he murmured soft endearments to her, but his gaze remained first on Cord and then on Cash.

  “I have a team with me, Cord, and two more on the way. If the weather clears, I can get at least two helicopters in the air. Hell, I’ll put them up even if the weather doesn’t.” Cash still didn’t step farther into the room. “Just tell me what you want, what you need.”

  Jolie pushed away from Rand and faced Cash. “You’re still a royal jerk, Cash, but thank you. We can use your help.” She stepped toward Cord, and he closed the distance between them, sweeping her into his arms. “Bring him home, Cord. Bring our baby home.”

  Controlled chaos followed her plea. Cash opened the back door to usher in some of his security team. Cooper Tate and his brother, Bridger, tromped in carrying boxes of electronic gear. Cash waved them into the dining room. Deputies from the Logan County Sheriff’s Office arrived, along with members of the volunteer fire department. The table that had been the scene of a family Thanksgiving just weeks ago now became their “war room.”

  Cassie watched the weather on TV while she helped Miz Beth make coffee and food. Jolie stood at the wide window overlooking the backyard. Cord appeared behind her and circled his arms around her middle. “We’ll find him, Jolie.”

  “I’m scared, Cord. He’s just a little boy.”

  “I know, baby. But us Barrons are stubborn cusses.”

  The strangled noise she made was either choked laughter or a sob. He stood with her, letting the babble from the dining room wash over him. When he heard doors opening, he hugged her, kissed the top of her head and disengaged. It was time to find CJ and bring him home. “I’ll be back, sunshine. With our son.”

  He left her standing there. She looked frail, but looks were deceiving. She was one of the strongest women he knew. Words formed on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t spit them out. Not yet. Not until CJ was safe. Then he’d tell her. He’d be able to say the words then.

  The search teams had their assignments and spread out, going to work. Cord joined the team leaders on the front drive. He wanted to go, but Chance and Cash both overruled him.

  “Stay with Jolie, Cord. She needs you. We’ll find him.” Chance’s breath fogged the air until the brutal north wind shredded it. The temperature kept dropping, the sun a pallid circle behind thick clouds. His brothers pivoted and marched off to join their assigned teams.

  Growls from ATVs drowned out shouts and excited barks from the search dogs. Close to fifty people milled around, getting sorted out, ready to do their jobs. Rand appeared at his shoulder and Cord spared him a glance. The older man looked as exhausted as Cord felt.

  “I’m sorry, Rand.”

  “For what, son? You didn’t make your daddy a jackass. And I probably should apologize to you. I knew about CJ. Knew he was yours. But Jolie—”

  A wry chuckle escaped before Cord could cut it off. “Yeah. Jolie is a lot like her father. She wants to do things her way.”

  Rand slapped him on the back. “That she does, Cordell. That she does. Gonna take a special man to win and keep her.”

  “I’m workin’ on that, sir. I surely am.”

  “Good.”

  The other man flipped up the collar of his coat and tilted his head toward the house. “It’s colder than a two-dollar whore’s heart out here. Let’s get inside.”

  * * *

  After the team leaders cleared out, Jolie returned to the kitchen and went through the motions of helping Miz Beth and Cassie. She needed to do something—had to do something to keep from going crazy. She mindlessly shoved cups and plates into the dishwasher, all the while listening to the radio traffic in the next room. The news wasn’t good. The snow had come too late to show any tracks CJ might have left and the wind was playing havoc with the tracking dogs.

  Where would CJ have gone? He’d only been out here to the ranch a few times—to swim in the heated pool, to ride horses in the corral, to play in the barn. He’d have told her if he had a special place out here. Wouldn’t he? She dropped the coffee mug in her hand and ran into the other room. Cord wasn’t there. Her father looked up, a question in his eyes.

  “Where’s Cord?”

  He stepped into the room. “I’m here, Jolie. What’s wrong?”

  “CJ. Did he have a special place here?”

  Cord’s forehead furrowed in thought. “Like what? A hidey-hole? I mean, he has his room. He liked to play in the hayloft of the barn. The pool.”

  Her breath—and her enthusiasm—whooshed out in a sigh of disappointment. “Oh.” She wrapped her arms across her chest to hide her shivers. “I just... I don’t know. I thought maybe...”

  “Maybe what?” Cord walked up to her, his expression grave.

  “I thought there might be someplace he liked to go.” She swiped her hair off her forehead and muttered, “Never mind,” before retreating back to the kitchen. The babble in the dining room overwhelmed her. She couldn’t understand all the radio messages, and trying to decipher them gave her a headache. Coffee. She’d get some coffee. Or maybe hot tea. She was numb, but cold leached into her very bones. As though it would rob her little boy of his heat, and maybe his life. A hard shiver stomped down her spine, kicking each one of her vertebrae until she just wanted to curl up in the fetal position.

  “Hang on, baby. Hang on for Mommy.”

  * * *

  Cord wanted to follow her, but the need to listen to the radio, to know exactly what was happening, held him frozen. He twisted around to look out the window, pressing his forehead against the cold glass. The gentle swells of the nearest pasture undulated like frozen waves. A dark line of trees loomed beyond the red barn. He stared but didn’t see the snow-dusted landscape. Was Jolie on to something? She knew their little boy better than he did—at least for now. His mind replayed everything he and CJ had ever done here at the ranch.

  They’d taken ATV rides. Fished in the lake. He quit breathing for a minute. Surely CJ wouldn’t have gone to the lake, not when it was so cold outside. Whipping his head around, he yelled over to Bridger, who was working the radio communications. “The lake! Has anyone checked the lake?”

  “First thing, Cord. There’s no sign of him there. No tracks. And the mud wouldn’t have frozen until this morning. The search party would see any prints if he’
d gotten close to the water.”

  He breathed through the momentary panic. This wasn’t helping. He felt sick inside. Looking up, he saw her in the doorway to the kitchen. She looked wrung out but he figured he didn’t look much better.

  “Miz Beth made tea. Do you want some?”

  He walked over to her and gathered her into his arms. “Not thirsty, sunshine.”

  “I hate your father.” Her words were muffled against his chest.

  “Makes two of us.”

  “I’m sorry, Cord. For keeping CJ a secret. For fighting you. I’ve been so...scared. Of losing CJ because he might love you more than me.”

  “No, baby. That wouldn’t happen. I want to be his dad. I want us to be a family. I don’t want to take him away. Shh. S’okay. No more secrets, sunshine. Never again. Not between us.” Her sob was also muffled in his shirt, but he felt the shudders racking through her. He held her, absorbed her fear and sorrow as she cried, and he shed a few tears of his own. He hadn’t cried since his mother died. Or Helen, when she was killed by that drunk driver. The old man yelled when they cried. Called them weak. He had a place he’d run away to...

  “Ah, crap!”

  Jolie startled in his arms and he turned her loose. “Cord?”

  “The caves. Why didn’t I think of that?” If he’d been sitting at a desk he would have banged his head on it.

  “Caves?”

  “There are some caves in the hills down by the river. I used to go there. CJ and I rode out there one time. I told him about exploring them when I was a kid.”

  “Tell Bridger. Call one of the teams.”

  “The teams can’t get to him. The terrain is too rugged for the ATVs. I’ll have to ride.”

  “Ride?”

  “Horseback. It’s the quickest way to get there.”

  “I’m coming with you.” She jutted her chin and her eyes flashed.

  Cord dropped a soft kiss on her mouth. Seemed the Davis family was just as stubborn as the Barrons. “Put on warm clothes. Miz Beth will find some for you. I’ll go saddle the horses.”

  * * *

  They rode for twenty minutes, the north wind nipping and biting every inch of exposed flesh. Sleet pinged off their heavy coats and clung to the manes and hides of the horses. Even the animals seemed to be shivering despite their thick winter coats. They were ranch stock, bred to work. They weren’t the hothouse purebloods Kaden used in the breeding program. They crossed terrain marked with steep arroyos with crumbling red dirt sides. They skirted rocky outcroppings and pushed through scrub brush thick enough that an ATV would have no chance. As they rode toward the river and the rocky hills where Cord’s cave was located, he and Jolie took turns calling CJ’s name.

  He glanced over at her but couldn’t see much of her face besides her eyes. He lowered his muffler. “Can I ask you something?”

  Jolie turned her head to watch him. “I guess so?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “What? Where’d that come from?”

  “I need to know, Jolie. Do you trust me? With taking care of CJ? With taking care of...you?” She didn’t answer and the wind kicked up again but he didn’t pull the muffler up. “I need to know, baby. I need to know if there’s any hope for us, and if you don’t trust me, if you believe that I could do to our son—to you—what my father did...” He swallowed hard, choking back his anger. “Do you believe I’m like the old man?”

  “Oh, God, no, Cord! You aren’t like him.”

  “But...” He stared at her when she wouldn’t look at him.

  “Deep down, no, I didn’t believe you would take CJ—not that way. But last night, when I got that call, I was scared. Terrified.”

  “So you don’t trust me.”

  “That’s not what I said.” Real heat singed her voice. “Why are you asking me this stuff?”

  “I need to know if we have a chance.”

  A bark echoed before she could reply. Cord stood up in his stirrups and let loose with a shrill whistle. Excited barking answered him. “Dusty!” He reined his horse around and headed toward a rocky hill at a canter. Jolie quickly caught up. Cord whistled again, and the barks sounded closer. A flash of black-and-white caught his eye. He pointed toward the dog racing their direction. “There! It is Dusty.” He kicked his horse into a full gallop, Jolie’s horse following.

  They met the dog at the base of the hill, sliding their horses to a stop with a sharp pull on the reins. Cord swung out of the saddle with a grace born of practice and called Dusty to him. He ruffled the dog’s ears and fur. “Where’s CJ? Is he with you?” He studied the hillside, then cupped his hands and yelled, “CJ? Are you here?”

  Jolie’s voice joined in. “CJ? Mommy and Daddy are here! Where are you?”

  “Mommy?” A thin, wavering voice floated down. “Daddy?”

  Dusty barked and charged up the hill, Cord fast on his heels. “Stay there, Jolie. I’ll bring him down. I promise.”

  Cord found CJ tucked back into a shallow cave, wrapped in a thin blanket. “C’mon, bubba. Time to go home.” CJ leaped into his arms, and Cord simply held his son for a long moment.

  CJ wrapped his arms around Cord’s neck, his legs around his waist. With careful haste, aware of the terrain and prancing dog both waiting to trip him, Cord clamored down the hill. Jolie had dismounted, and she grabbed CJ from him, kissing and hugging the boy. Cord pulled the two-way radio from his saddle pack.

  “Bridger, this is Cord. Can you read me?”

  “Loud and clear, Cord.”

  “We have him.” Cheers erupted on Bridger’s end. “He’s cold and hungry. We’ll be back in about thirty.”

  “There will be an ambulance standing by. Safe trip, Cord. And good news, cuz!”

  * * *

  The doctors at Children’s Hospital gave CJ a clean bill of health but wanted to keep him overnight for observation. Almost the entire family had trooped through, leaving stuffed animals, balloons and candy behind. When things finally calmed down, and Cord and Jolie were left alone in the hospital room, he asked the question Jolie had avoided thinking about since they’d found CJ.

  “Why did you run away, CJ?”

  “The yelling. It scared me.”

  Jolie clutched him to her and Cord wrapped his arms around them both. “I’m sorry, CJ. Sorry for everything.”

  “I didn’t mean to be bad.”

  “Ah, CJ. Don’t. You weren’t bad. It wasn’t your fault, bubba. Sometimes, grown-ups are just...dumb.”

  Jolie squeezed the little boy’s hand, but her smile was for Cord. “Yeah. Sometimes grown-ups are just dumb.” She inhaled and blew the breath out hard enough to ruffle her bangs. “Yes.”

  Cord looked confused. “Yes?”

  “Yes. I trust you. To take care of CJ. To take care of me. I trust you with my heart.”

  “Oh.” A big goofy smile spread across his face. “Oh!” He scrambled off the bed and grabbed his coat. He dug in all the pockets, his expression growing more panicked. Searching in one last place, the inside left chest pocket that rode right over his heart, he found what he was looking for.

  His big hand held something, but Jolie couldn’t tell what. Her heart rate ratcheted up, and she tried to breathe around its pounding. He dropped to one knee beside the bed and she was vaguely aware that CJ clapped his hands and giggled. When Cord opened his hand, a black velvet box sat on his palm. Blood roared in her ears, and she gulped in a breath, reaching for a calm she didn’t feel.

  “Jolie, I love you. I think I fell in love the moment I first saw you. I’ve pretty much messed up from the very beginning, but if you’ll give me a chance, I promise to love you and our son every day until there are no more days.” He opened the box. A diamond-and-emerald ring glinted under the fluorescent hospital lights. “Jolene Renee Davis
, will you do me the honor of being my wife? Of being the mother of my children? Of loving me even half as much as I love you?”

  CJ poked her in the back. “Say yes, Mommy.”

  She blinked back tears, her cheeks aching from the smile that stretched them to the max. “Oh, yes, Cordell Thomas Barron. I will marry you.” She fell into his arms. “I do love you. I love you with my whole heart.”

  Epilogue

  Cord rolled over and gathered the woman sleeping at his side into his arms so they were spooned together. Jolie stirred and muttered something about sleep. He kissed her bare shoulder and rubbed his cheek against her sleep-tousled hair. Her lips looked plumped and she bore a slight rash from his beard stubble along her jawline. Considering this was their wedding day, he should feel bad about that, but didn’t. That was what all the gunk littering the counter in the bathroom attached to the guest bedroom at Chance and Cassie’s house was for. He cupped her breast, tracing his thumb over her nipple. It perked right up from his attention, but it was Jolie’s grumbling that put a big grin on his face.

  “I love you, sunshine.”

  She sighed, and he leaned over to capture the end of her breath with a gentle kiss. She shifted beneath him and he covered her with his body. If he were a gentleman, he’d go shower and shave before making love to her. But he wasn’t. He was a man wildly in love with his woman, and he wanted to brand her as his for all time. Breaking their kiss, he trailed his lips down her chin and throat until he found her other breast. Flicking his tongue over that nipple, it caught up to its partner on the perky meter. She gasped as he scraped his teeth over the sensitive tip and his erection swelled.

  Cord suckled her breast while his fingers continued to tease her other nipple. She arched beneath him, rubbing her thigh against him. He groaned and glanced at her. Eyes open, she watched him, her mouth quirked and her eyes narrowed. That was a dare if he’d ever seen one. With slow, sure certainty, he kissed his way across her rib cage. He paused at her belly button to lay a circle of kisses around its perimeter before dipping the tip of his tongue inside it. She giggled, as he knew she would. His Jolie was ticklish despite her protestations to the contrary.