Free from Guilt

by Pat Simmons

  “That’s fascinating. I’m impressed.” Cameron winked and witnessed her slight shiver. “What was your major at Howard?” he asked out of curiosity.

  “BA in liberal arts. I double-minored in linguistic anthropology and world languages. While I lived in Dallas, I earned my MBA at the University of Texas.”

  Cameron dropped his fork. He blinked. She was accomplished in her own right. He had definitely misjudged her. Wow. That shut his mouth. He had to thank God for putting this incredible woman in his path.

  “How many foreign languages do you speak?”

  “Spanish, Russian, and broken Creole. I’m better at speaking Chinese than I am at reading it. Before I flew to Greece, I started to learn the language online,” she said and placed a piece of chicken in her mouth.

  “Why are you working as a ticket agent at the airlines?”

  “I’m not. I was a trainee supervisor until about a year ago. Then I was promoted because of my MBA. But it seems like I’m doing the job of three people. That’s why I’ve been job shopping.”

  “Really? Any offers yet?”

  She shrugged. “A few.”

  “Have I earned a stripe for you to share that information with me, or will I forever be on the sidelines? I assure you any legal or personal background check would show you I’m trustworthy,” he asked.

  “We do have things in common, including the two women in your family whom I love. But Cameron, it’s the mismatched things between us that scares me.”

  “We can make things fit, remember? Here’s one more thing we have in common. You love ancient civilizations and ruins, and I enjoy learning about my ancestors.”

  Gabrielle was curious. “Speaking of ancestors, why weren’t you skeptical of Denise’s story?”

  “I’m about family preservation. I’ve researched ten generations back. When I found the descendants of Orma, the information eventually led me to Samuel, Ace, Denise, and the other siblings. While attending MIT, it just made sense to track down Ace and his brother since they lived here.

  “Ace and I bonded like brothers, so I temporarily put that first family on hold. Although I already knew about Denise and her siblings, it blew my mind when she actually came to her stepbrother’s wedding. That was pure coincidence.”

  “That was God’s plan to bring the family together. There are no accidents, coincidences, or mistakes. Jesus has a precise order to our lives, and I’m thankful someone is looking out for me,” Gabrielle countered.

  “What about our meeting? Chance or destined?”

  She grinned. “I’m not backpedaling. It was destined. Maybe I was supposed to spray you with the pepper spray instead of that drunk.”

  Cameron laughed. “Got me.” He paused to admire her. “You have the prettiest smile.”

  Blushing, she thanked him. “You mentioned ten generations. There were plenty of public records that had been preserved. But how is that even possible when we’re talking about an individual who is essentially unknown to the masses, and in some cases unidentifiable in slavery?”

  “It’s not impossible. It takes some diligent detective work, but I encourage it. There are public documents in the dusty back rooms of courthouses. A person could also find obits and grave sites and marriage certificates. But the court records are the best. I’ll never forget this one case in St. Louis, Missouri, about a freed man who was held in slavery. His name was Carey Ewton. He was born in 1790 as a slave to some man named Robertson in Petersburg, Virginia. When he was about eleven years old, he was sold to a Richard Cox to execute a will.”

  Although Gabrielle was wearing a frown, she listened without interruption.

  “Anyway, Cox took him to Washington County, Kentucky, where he was bought and sold by several men over the next twenty-eight years of his life. That took him to several states. Eventually, William Ewton bought him and held him in bondage. When William died, Benjamin Wilder bought him at the estate sale. Carey Ewton argued to the judge that since he lived and worked in Illinois—a free state—that entitled him to his freedom.”

  As tears pooled in Gabrielle’s eyes, Cameron waited. “I don’t have to continue,” he said softly. “I get carried away with the details of a person enslaved,” he stated, somewhat apologetically.

  “I can’t imagine one human being buying, selling, trading, abusing, and doing whatever to another human being. In the Bible, Hebrews or Israelites were enslaved and early Christians suffered persecution. That was long ago, but this Black man seems so close to home. Please go on. There’s always a rainbow. Did the court ever grant his freedom?”

  It was Cameron who hesitated. What more could impress him that night about her? The average woman cannot stomach any mention of slavery; they simply refuse to listen.

  The thought of women being raped was accepting a part of American history. Men also suffered physically with whippings on their bare skin. Adding insult to injury, they were dragged into jail. Unfortunately, there was no way for him to sugarcoat the past. With that understanding, he and his brothers had risen beyond that mentality by pursuing higher institutional education. Beyond that, they embraced an education not learned in school, but through historic documents.

  Forcing a brief intermission, their waiter returned and asked if they needed anything. She declined and he followed suit. Then resuming his account, Cameron was happy to inform her that the former enslaved man did win his freedom.

  While continuing to chat about various topics, they completed their meals. The server reappeared once more, handed them dessert menus, and waited.

  “Whatever the lady wants,” Cameron advised.

  Gabrielle smiled and pointed at her menu. “I think I’ll try the Albanian-style bread pudding with walnuts and pistachio crème anglaise.”

  “The Kompekai.” The waiter beamed. “That’s an excellent choice.” He was about to leave when she asked for two forks. Cameron lifted his brow.

  “It’s time to share.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was time to put Cameron out of his misery. By sharing her dessert, Gabrielle was extending an olive branch from her heart. Maybe she had misjudged him. She was now convinced that he wasn’t self-centered, but a sensitive man. That was priceless.

  “I’ll share anything with you,” he whispered, reaching across the table. Cameron swept up her hands in his and brought them to his lips. Without taking his eye off hers, he brushed a soft kiss on them.

  Whew. Gabrielle needed a fan. Maybe she should ask for a knife to slice the sensuality between them. Realistically, if she could keep him talking instead of touching, she’d be all right.

  “Tell me more about the king and queen in your family tree?”

  Cameron chuckled, as their pudding was set between them. She said a quick prayer then dug in first.

  “Are you going to leave me any?” he teased.

  “Every man for himself. You’d better jump in.”

  Soon it was the battle of the forks, and they fought until they were down to the last morsel. Cameron conceded, but when she was about to scoop it up, he took the fork from her hand. Coaxing her closer, he fed it to her.

  Closing her eyes, Gabrielle savored the moment and the flavor. She liked him as a person and enjoyed how he treated her.

  When she opened her eyes again, he teased, “Welcome back. I thought you went to sleep on me.”

  “Funny,” she replied, as she dabbed her mouth and leaned back. “Okay, so tell me about your king and queen.”

  He grinned. She could sense that Cameron Jamieson was in his element when he talked about African-American history and his genealogy.

  “Actually, it was King Seif and Princess Adaeze of the Diomande tribe. Paki was born in December 1770 in Côte d’Ivoire, on the Gold Coast of Africa. His name means ‘a witness that this one will not die,’ and it held true for him. He lived a long life, long enough to see slavery abolished in the United States.

  “In the fall of 1790, slave traders attacked and savagely beat Paki and his
warriors before kidnapping them. He was among hundreds of thousands who were hauled to the Gates of No Return castle.

  “Some of the ships the captains used to transport their human cargo had biblical connections, like Good Ship of Jesus, under the command of Sir John Hawkins. Another one was named Snow Elijah.”

  Gabrielle considered herself a good Christian, but the thought of using biblical references for devilish purposes incensed her. “Those slave masters—”

  “Ah.” Cameron shook his head. “Many genealogists refer to them as slaveholders, not masters.”

  “You’re right,” she said with conviction. “There’s only one Master—Jesus.”

  “Snow Elijah landed first in the Caribbean and dropped a payload of human cargo before heading to the Maryland coastline.” Cameron whistled. “Now that state was known for harsh slave laws, especially for women.

  “Automatically, my tenth great-grandfather was separated from his bodyguards. Because of his stature and strength, Paki was sold at the highest bid of $275 to a wealthy slave owner, Jethro Turner, in front of Sinner’s Hotel.”

  “At least they got the hotel name right. Humph,” Gabrielle huffed, with a touch of defiance.

  They exchanged high-fives. “Paki fell in love with Elaine, the slaveholder’s only daughter, and the two ran away together. She began a journal of their triumphs and trials. Quite miraculously, we have history because of her simple entries.”

  Interesting. While Cameron’s distant grandmother preserved history in a journal, Gabrielle preserved the secrets of her heart in a handbook of romance.

  “I commend your family. I know of my grandparents and great-grandparents on both sides. Beyond that, I never gave it a second thought.”

  “Enough about me. What other mysteries do you hold? Besides being friends with Talise and Denise, I know where you work. I know that you’re an alumna of the prestigious Howard University and that you like to travel the world. I also know that you have three older brothers. One, by the way, who I don’t think likes me for some reason.”

  Gabrielle laughed. “Don’t take it personal.”

  “I didn’t. That’s why I called you. What’s your middle name? Are your parents still alive? What do they do?” Cameron had endless questions.

  “Gabrielle Francesca. My father is a doctor and my mother is a retired educator. We have Morehouse and Spelman in the house. I have a preaching brother, a judge, and a district manager of Kansas City area McDonald’s restaurants as my siblings. We hail from Louisiana …”

  “Louisiana?” Cameron shook. “That’s a whole different definition of slavery … unlike the rest of the country, where one drop of Black blood means you’re Black. In that state, a person with one-eighth Negro and seven-eighths White blood was considered an octoroon. A quarter Negro and three-quarters White was a quadroon.”

  “You do know your history, and it appears my history too. I’m impressed.”

  “Finally.” Cameron pumped his fist in the air.

  “Just so you know, Mr. Jamieson, I’ve been impressed all night.” She stuck out her tongue.

  “Have you ever run the Boston marathon, or any marathon?”

  “No.” Gabrielle frowned. She was all for fitness and healthy eating most of the time, but she wasn’t about to run in the streets with anybody for any reason. Period. “Why?”

  “I was thinking, since our days are numbered, that we could do a dating marathon. You know, movies, dinners, concerts, or whatever you like.”

  “How about church?”

  “I attend church, but I don’t make a habit of mixing religion with dating.”

  What was it with men and church? Suddenly, Gabrielle was coming back to reality. If disappointment mirrored on her face, she hoped Cameron could read it in large, bold letters.

  “Tell me about your salvation walk.”

  “First, I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, I repent nightly at bedtime, I give back to the community, and I treat others as I would want to be treated,” Cameron said matter-of-factly.

  “That’s not enough for me,” she said, frustrated.

  “I’m not a Bible scholar. However, I know enough to know we don’t live under the law of the Old Testament. Jesus gave us grace in the New Testament. Therefore, there are no more laws. We judge ourselves; if we make a mistake, we repent and then go on about our business. It’s a circle.”

  “Umm-hmm. Well, while you’re repenting from a revolving cycle of sins in this world, you’d better hope Jesus doesn’t return to rapture His people. Because sin is sin and you might not get a chance to ask for forgiveness.”

  Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle gathered her purse and shawl. “Thanks for dinner. I’m ready to go home now, please.”

  Cameron squeezed his lips but didn’t say a word. As he reached for his wallet, he summoned their waiter for the check. While they waited, he stared into her eyes. She recognized his confusion.

  “I’m in the doghouse, aren’t I?”

  “Yep.”

  “If you believe I’m a sinner, then I challenge you to show me the error of my ways.”

  “Don’t test me on this, Mr. Jamieson. I take my salvation seriously and it’s either pass or fail. The Bible doesn’t mention purgatory either.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Back in her apartment, Gabrielle reflected on the highs and lows of the dinner. In one night, it was the most exhilarating, enchanting, and disappointing date she had ever experienced. Even with all his arrogance, she was attracted to Cameron. The flesh definitely couldn’t be trusted.

  He was beginning to become the most complex man she had ever met. In a way, she was relieved he was moving. Let his family handle him. Pride before destruction.

  “Stand firm.” Once again, God reminded her of Exodus 14:13.

  God had given her that Scripture before. Okay, Lord, what is my role in his life? Without a response, Gabrielle grabbed her Bible. Before she opened it, she prayed, hoping the Lord would speak to her through His Word. About twenty minutes later, she had finished several passages without any further clues about what Jesus wanted her to do.

  When it was time to prepare for bed, she got on her knees and talked to Jesus before getting under the covers.

  However, there would be no rest for Gabrielle. After an hour of tossing and turning, she reached for her cell phone and sent Cameron a text: I’m sorry if I ruined our night.

  Despite the lateness of the hour, he replied quickly. Sorry if I ruined your impression of me. Of all the women I’ve known and have yet to meet, I doubt any of them will have the effect on me that you do. Good night.

  Smiling, she rolled over. For some unknown reason, Gabrielle was starting to like his hot-and-cold personality. Closing her eyes, she now believed she would sleep like a baby.

  Early the next morning, Talise’s phone call jolted her from a peaceful slumber. Gabrielle barely said hello when her friend started singing Cameron’s praises, pulling her into the present.

  “Cameron is complex. It seems like all these Jamieson men are. At least, that’s what their wives tell me. Even Grandma BB chimed in. Too bad he’s moving and you’re still there.”

  Gabrielle remained silent on that subject. She wasn’t about to hint that she might relocate to St. Louis too. Talise would probably be on the next plane out to help her pack, if she decided to accept such a job offer.

  Listening to Talise chatting endlessly about her family, Gabrielle suddenly changed her mind and braced for the impact. “To bring you up to date on my job hunt, I’ve had several job offers and I’m currently entertaining two near you.”

  Talise squealed. “How close?”

  “Hmmm. How close are you to … St. Louis?”

  “Are you serious?” Talise screamed.

  “Yes.” Gabrielle could hear Ace in the background, asking if she was okay.

  “I’m fine, babe,” she answered softly.

  “You sure? Is Gabrielle okay?” Ace sounded concerned.

  “She’s mo
ving to St. Louis …”

  “Talise, I didn’t say that. I said I’m thinking about—” she tried to correct her friend.

  “I just know you’re going to say yes!”

  Gabrielle wasn’t so sure.

  When she didn’t confirm right away, Talise pressured her. “Girl, how can you pass it up? I know they’re offering you good money, or you wouldn’t even consider it. Plus, I’m here, your godbaby is here, Grandma BB is here, and she says you’re her hero ever since your pepper spray attack. She loved it!”

  “And Cameron will be there. God knows that man has me praying not to lust.”

  “As an official Jamieson wife and mother, that is hard to do. Good luck with that, girl.”

  “I’ll pray on it. Now go spend time with your baby and your baby’s daddy,” Gabrielle teased and disconnected.

  Gabrielle didn’t move from her chair right away. She closed her eyes and bowed her head. “God, I know if I earnestly seek You, You will reveal Cameron’s purpose in my life. I know my real job is to be a light that will lead him to Your complete salvation in the magnificent Name of Jesus. Amen.”

  Complete. It wasn’t that Cameron didn’t confess his belief in God. What bothered her was his complacency to stay at his current level with God instead of growing to overcome his temptations to curse or whatever else he did that offended God.

  One thing her evangelistic brother taught her was never to discount a person’s walk with Jesus but encourage them to seek more from God. “Lord, give Cameron a hunger and thirst that only You can fill.”

  Gabrielle spent her day off doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking meals for the following week. Later that evening, as she was about to begin her roundup calls—a term for which she dubbed her weekly calls to her brothers and parents—Cameron called.

  “Hello?”

  “What are you doing next weekend?”

  Not a repeat of the previous night. That was for sure. He had tenacity. She would give him that. “I’m driving up to Hartford to see Denise.”

  “I was hoping we could spend my last weekend in Boston together.” His deep voice revealed a tinge of disappointment. “How about some company? I’m willing to drive, and it will provide a perfect opportunity for me to meet the rest of my kinfolks.”