A Love Transformed

by Tracie Peterson

  While Joe kept company with Curtis, Clara readied the moist towels. She had to admit she was relieved to not be tending to Curtis’s back. She hadn’t anticipated the way just helping him to sit would make her feel. She hadn’t touched him in so very long. Hadn’t touched any man, for that matter. She couldn’t even remember the last time she and Adolph had embraced. He had never been one to show much affection.

  Since the children had been up since five-thirty, Clara sent them to bed for an afternoon nap. Neither one protested, which didn’t surprise her, since they had yawned all the way through lunch. Now with them sound asleep and Curtis’s half hour of sitting at an end, Clara once again thanked God for sending Joe back to the ranch early.

  “You knew what I needed, Lord. Even before I did.”

  She placed the rolled-up towels on a tray and then pulled a bottle of lotion from her apron pocket and put it there as well. Doing so, she saw how her hand trembled. It was silly to be so apprehensive, but just the idea of being so close to him—even with Joe there—left Clara feeling all jittery. This was the kind of care a wife would give her injured husband.

  She entered Curtis’s bedroom with the tray and a smile. She saw that Joe had already removed the lunch dishes and had helped him to lie back down. Now both men watched her with an expression of curiosity.

  “I’m anxious to know just how this massaging will help,” Joe said. “If it’s a good thing, I’ll let Curtis return the favor once he’s up.”

  Clara laughed. “The doctor said the moist heat will help the muscles relax, and the massage will further the blood flow and help Curtis not to feel so stiff after being in the cast for so long.” She looked at Curtis. “I hope this won’t be too hot. The doctor said the hotter the better, but I certainly don’t want to burn you.” She put the tray with the towels and lotion on the bedside table.

  “Joe, the doctor said we needed to roll Curtis on his side and prop the casted leg with pillows.” Clara reached for some of the extra pillows. “If you’ll get him on his side and hold up the leg, I’ll position the pillows.”

  “You can just let Joe do it.”

  She looked into Curtis’s eyes and thought she detected uneasiness. “Well, once I show him what is to be done, of course I will let him see to it.”

  “I’d feel better if she did show me,” Joe added. “I can’t say I’ve ever been much good at doctoring sick folks.”

  Clara went to Curtis’s casted leg. She set the pillows to one side. “All right, Joe. You take hold of his hips. Be careful to keep the blanket over him. No sense in embarrassing us all.” She knew from what Madeline had said that Curtis hadn’t been able to wear any clothing under the body cast.

  “Curtis, you’ll need to maneuver yourself to the side using your arms while Joe pulls you forward. I’ll hold your leg so you don’t need to worry about injuring yourself.” She double-checked to make sure the blanket that covered his hips remained tucked between his legs. This had helped to reduce the chafing and irritation the cast had caused when Curtis was first injured. Aunt Madeline told her they had experimented with all sorts of things, and this, although simple, worked the best.

  Curtis grunted agreement, and Joe took his position. Clara nodded. “On the count of three. One—two—three.” They moved as one, and once Curtis was on his side, Clara continued holding the casted leg with one hand while she placed the pillows between his blanketed leg and the cast.

  Clara came around to where Joe stood and looked down at Curtis. “There, that wasn’t so bad . . . was it?” She studied him momentarily for signs of pain.

  “No.”

  “Dr. Cosgrove said some pain is to be expected.” She went to retrieve the hot towels. “Joe, the doctor said to drape them over the back like this.” She positioned the first towel. “Then press it against the skin.” She heard Curtis moan. “Is it too hot?”

  “No. Fact is, it feels really good.”

  Smiling, Clara reached for the next towel and handed it to Joe. “Your turn.” He took the towel and placed it just as she had instructed. “The doctor said this will really help you to feel better after being in that body cast.”

  “Anything would feel better than that.”

  The towels were finally in place, and Clara turned again to Joe. “We’ll keep these in place until they turn cool. Then I’ll tell you how the doctor wants you to massage the muscles.”

  “I think I’ll go help myself to a cup of coffee while we wait,” Joe replied, heading for the door.

  “That’s fine. I’ll just straighten up the room.” She glanced over to see that Curtis had closed his eyes as if sleeping. Clara thought he had never looked so handsome. She hadn’t really allowed herself much time to study him since finding him at the ranch. Now she wanted only to memorize every line and detail of his face.

  Her survey was halted, however, when she realized Curtis had opened his eyes and was watching her in return. She thought to turn away but decided against it. There was no need to speak, because Clara felt certain her expression betrayed her heart. And she didn’t think it her imagination that his did likewise.

  “Thanks for all you’re doing,” Curtis murmured, then closed his eyes again.

  Clara refrained from telling him she’d be happy to care for him always. Instead she went to work sweeping up some of the dust and remnants of the cast that had been left behind.

  When it was finally time to remove the towels, Clara went reluctantly to retrieve them. She rolled them up and put them back on the tray she’d brought and then took up a bottle of lotion just as Joe returned.

  “I do apologize for the scent of this lotion,” she began. “But it was all I had on hand. I told the doctor we’d get into town for something else when the shearing was over. He said I could use lard, but I figured this would smell better.” She gave a little laugh, hoping it didn’t sound forced. She handed the bottle to Joe.

  “Rose scented?” he asked, looking at her as if she’d lost her mind. A smile broke his stern expression. “We’ll be the sweetest-smelling men on the ranch.”

  Curtis rolled his eyes, but Clara detected the humor in his expression and relaxed. “Like I said, I’ll have someone pick up some lotion that doesn’t have such a feminine scent. Aunt Madeline might even have something on hand.”

  Clara motioned for Joe to stand facing Curtis’s back. “The doctor said you should massage him while standing here.”

  “Exactly how am I supposed to massage him?” Joe looked rather perplexed.

  “Well, you use the lotion and rub the muscles starting at the neck and shoulders.”

  Joe didn’t so much as move but continued to stare at Clara with a puzzled expression. She sighed. “Here, I’ll show you.”

  She put a good amount of lotion on her hand, then set the bottle aside and went to work. She started at the top just as the doctor had instructed. Curtis’s neck and shoulders were hard and knotted. Clara pressed gently at first, but seeing it was getting her nowhere, she put all of her strength into it. She kneaded the muscles as if kneading bread. She used not only her fingers but the palms of her hands, and after a little time she felt the knots give way.

  “My hands aren’t as strong as yours,” she said, trying not to think of the warmth of Curtis’s skin. “When you’re kneading the muscles, however, you’ll feel the tension ease, and that’s how you’ll know you’re doing it right.”

  Next she let her hands move down his spine. She pressed gently at the scars. “Am I hurting you?”

  “No.” His reply was hardly more than a whisper.

  Clara swallowed the lump in her throat. This was just as hard to do as she’d worried it would be. Touching him, feeling the warmth of his skin, caused her only to desire all the more to be held in his arms. She silently thanked God that Joe was there and straightened.

  “Your turn.” She stepped aside to give Joe room to work. She tried not to think about how her heart was racing. She waited as Joe poured lotion in his hands. “Now start where I le
ft off in the middle of his back and be careful of the sores that the cast caused. I have some salve to apply after the massage, but no sense in irritating them with this lotion.”

  Joe nodded and began to work on Curtis’s muscles. Clara could see he was quite capable of the job and breathed a sigh of relief even as she pushed down a sense of desire to be the one tending Curtis.

  “Dr. Cosgrove said to do this for at least twenty minutes after the heated towels.”

  She watched Joe work. Why couldn’t Curtis see how much she loved him—wanted to be with him—wanted to be his? Clara shook off the dangerous thoughts and decided to recite Scripture to herself in order to keep her mind on something other than Curtis. The Bible said she should take every thought captive, and for the first time in her life she understood the value of that.

  16

  With the coming of July things settled down at the ranch. The sheep bands were now off to the mountain pastures with their particular shepherds, Joe and Phil had managed to cut and bale a bumper crop of hay, and Dr. Cosgrove had removed all but a portion of the cast on Curtis’s leg. Clara could see that Curtis was much happier—even more like his old self. She prayed that God was doing a work on his heart where she and the children were concerned, because she never wanted to be separated from him again.

  Madeline took up the broom and smiled as Curtis gingerly used crutches to walk from the bed to a nearby chair. “It’s mighty good to see you up and around.”

  “Feels good too,” Curtis replied, taking great care to ease onto the chair. “I wasn’t too happy to have the doc recast the lower part of my leg, but it’s still much better than what I had.”

  Clara tried not to watch him as she pulled sheets and bedding from the bed. It was washday, and she had already been quite busy helping her aunt with the household laundry. In the weeks since Curtis met the children, Clara had found them more often than not visiting with him when they didn’t have chores or something else to keep their attention. They really liked Curtis and often rambled on to her about stories he had told them of when she and he had been much younger. Stories that Clara had thought for certain he’d forgotten.

  “Well, it’s not going to be long before that last cast comes off too,” Madeline declared. “I trust the doctor to know what’s best.”

  “Dr. Cosgrove said he might have to rebreak the tibia,” Curtis muttered. “I told him I might have to break his jaw.”

  Clara emitted a gasp while Madeline broke into laughter. “I’ll bet that’ll make him think twice about it. Still, if it hasn’t healed proper, you sure don’t want to leave it as is.”

  “What I want hasn’t been of any concern to much of anyone since I got hurt.”

  Clara cast him a quick glance. At least she’d intended it to be a quick one. Unfortunately, she found Curtis watching her make the bed. She smiled and couldn’t stop herself from speaking. “I know that Aunt Madeline and Uncle Paul have taken your desires, as well as your needs, into consideration. I know I have.”

  “It’s true,” Madeline countered as she continued sweeping the room.

  “Yes, you both have been very concerned with my . . . needs. A man couldn’t ask for better nurses.” He fell silent, and Clara went back to work.

  “Well, I for one intend to continue to see those needs met,” Madeline said, going to the door where she’d left the dustpan. “Doc gave strict instructions about what you could and couldn’t do, and I intend to see that you follow them to the letter.”

  “Now, Madeline . . .”

  “Don’t you try to sweet-talk me, Curtis Billingham. You and I both know you can’t be trusted to take it easy and slow. If it were up to you, you’d be on your way to join up with the army.”

  Clara finished plumping the pillows. “Hopefully by the time Curtis gets back on his feet, the war will be over.”

  “Everybody hopes for that,” Madeline said, nodding. “It’s already been such a long and destructive one for those who entered it first. I find it hard to even imagine the large numbers of dead and wounded that the newspaper tallies each week.” She sobered. “Soon American boys will join those numbers.”

  “Mama?” Maddy called from the door.

  Clara turned. “What is it, Maddy?”

  “You need to come quick.”

  “What have you two found this time?”

  Maddy was ever her calm, almost stoic, self. “We didn’t find anything. Hunter jumped out of the tree and hurt his arm.”

  Clara’s hand went to her mouth. She tried her best to remain calm for the sake of her daughter. She hurried to the door. “Show me where he is.”

  Now Maddy seemed to sense the urgency and picked up her pace. By the time they stepped out onto the porch, they were very nearly running.

  Hunter’s anguished cries could be heard even before Clara could see him. She’d never heard him cry like that and it tore at her heart. She followed Maddy to where she’d left her brother in a grove of trees and found Hunter holding his right arm. His shoulder looked strangely positioned.

  “Oh, my poor baby, what have you done?”

  Hunter’s reply was ragged. “I . . . I . . . disobeyed. I . . . jumped . . . out of the tree.” Having declared this, he began to wail.

  Clara knew she couldn’t very well chastise him now. She needed to get him to town so Dr. Cosgrove could take a look at his arm and shoulder. She scooped her son up and started for the house. She found Madeline waiting for her on the porch as they approached.

  “Hunter jumped out of the tree, and I think he may have broken his arm.” She panted under the weight of the child. “And dislocated his shoulder.”

  “I’ll have Joe hitch the wagon so we can take him in to see Dr. Cosgrove.” Madeline hurried off the porch and disappeared around the side of the house.

  “Will he have to have a cast like Curtis?” Maddy asked, rubbing her right arm as if in sympathy.

  “I don’t know, Maddy.” Clara continued to try to calm her son. “Hunter, you’re all right now, and no matter what, the doctor is going to know what to do to help you feel better.”

  “It hurts real bad, Mama,” he replied.

  His sobs were abating with the shock of what had happened, and now the pain would no doubt be his focus. Clara was close to tears herself, but she kept doing her best to keep them from coming. She needed to be strong for her children. They’d led such a sheltered life, and this was the first time either of them had really faced any danger or injury.

  “Is he all right?”

  Clara startled at Curtis’s voice. She looked up to find him at the front door. “You shouldn’t be out of your room. You know what the doctor said.”

  He grimaced. “I wanted to know if Hunter was all right.”

  She nodded, finding his concern touching. “I think he may have broken his arm and hurt his shoulder.”

  “I fell out of the tree,” Hunter offered, looking up.

  “No he didn’t,” Maddy countered. “He jumped.”

  Hunter nodded, looking quite contrite. “I jumped and then I fell.”

  Curtis gave him a smile. “Well, that’s because you didn’t have me to show you how to properly climb and get back down out of a tree. Once we get your arm mended and my leg healed, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

  “No!” Clara said before she could think. She felt rather embarrassed at how she’d raised her voice. “I just meant that I don’t think I want either of them climbing trees.”

  Curtis seemed to have anticipated her response. “Mamas worry too much. She’ll come around in time.” He winked and smiled at her in the old way—in the way she’d not seen since coming back to the ranch. It caused her heart to flutter and her breath to catch.

  Just then Madeline came back around the house, this time driving the wagon. Joe was seated at the back and jumped down as the wagon came to a stop. He reached out for Hunter without so much as asking. Clara let him take her son, then she helped Maddy into the back of the wagon. Once the child was settled
, Clara climbed up herself. She arranged her skirt, then held out her arms.

  “Now, don’t you fret none, Hunter,” Joe said, smiling as he handed the boy back to her. “Dr. Cosgrove has had a lot of experience patching folks up. He’ll have you fixed up in no time.”

  Clara leaned back against the wagon side and sighed as Madeline put the team into motion. As they drove away from the house, Clara found that Curtis was still watching them. How she wished that he might be going with them. He had always known how to make her feel better. How to calm her worries.

  Pray. God is your refuge—not Curtis.

  Clara felt her concerns ebb. God truly was her refuge. He alone had been there for her the past fourteen years. She’d been so panicked that she hadn’t even thought to pray.

  “Forgive me, Lord,” she murmured.

  Curtis heard the wagon return. He had prayed that Hunter’s injuries would be minimal. Clara had been so pale standing there holding her son. Maybe she’d never seen either of them hurt before. Given that they’d lived in a wealthy household in the city, he figured that was a great possibility. He smiled at the thought that he’d broken his arm at the age of five. With a doctor for a father, Curtis had simply borne his father’s repairs with impatience and then headed out again to attempt something he probably shouldn’t have been doing in the first place.

  Hunter soon appeared, arm in a sling and a smile on his face. “Curtis, I got a sprained wrist and a hurt shoulder.”

  “His shoulder was dislocated and Dr. Cosgrove put it back in place. He said Hunter was to do nothing for the next five days,” Clara said, entering the room after her son.

  “I asked Mama if we could move my bed in here so I could be sick with you.”

  Curtis met Clara with a questioning gaze. She shrugged. “I told him he’d have to ask you,” she replied.

  “I for one,” Madeline said, coming into the room behind her niece, “think it would be a good idea. That way we have just one sick room instead of two.”