A Love Transformed

by Tracie Peterson

  I was so sure he would change his mind about us.

  “Hey there, Curtis. You’re getting along pretty good,” Phil declared as he brought another chair for the party.

  “Doing my best,” Curtis said, giving in to allow Joe to help him down the stairs.

  Clara tried her best to ignore him. “Phil, just put that chair at the head of the table. We’ll let Uncle Paul sit there.”

  Phil nodded and did as she directed. Clara heard the unmistakable sound of her children. “They’re coming back from fishing,” she announced and stepped to the table.

  “Mama! Mama!” It was Maddy who came bounding around the house first. Her hair was wet and her clothes damp. “We learned to swim. Unca Paul taught us.” She lowered her voice. “We swam in our underclothes.”

  Hunter soon joined her, carrying a string of fish. There was a look of great pride on his face. “I caught some fish. Look. Auntie Madeline says we can eat them for supper.”

  “Well, I must say, you two have had a grand birthday.” Clara surveyed the fish. “They look delicious.”

  Hunter wrinkled his nose. “They smell bad, but Auntie says they’ll smell mighty good when she’s done with them.”

  Clara laughed as her aunt and uncle joined them. They looked tired but happy, and Clara knew better than to suggest they rest. She pointed to the table. “We’re ready for a celebration.”

  Hunter spied the cake and gifts. “Are those for us? Yippee!” He gave a yell such as Clara had never heard come out of him.

  “I’m afraid my children are becoming as wild as this country,” Clara mused.

  “Nothing wrong with that.” She turned abruptly at the sound of Curtis’s voice. He stood only inches away and offered her a sheepish smile. “At least it never hurt me any.”

  “Nor me,” Paul declared. “I think a fellow needs to keep a little bit of wild tucked inside himself.” He grinned and winked at Madeline. “Never can tell when he might need it.”

  Madeline laughed and rolled her eyes heavenward. “The good Lord overdosed your uncle when He gave out wild ways. I’m still not sure what He was thinking.”

  Paul grabbed her up and whirled her in a circle. “He knew I was going to need it to keep up with you.”

  Joe came forward and took the string of fish from Hunter. “How about I take care of these?”

  Hunter nodded with great enthusiasm. “I’m gonna need my hands to open presents.”

  The adults laughed, but Hunter and his sister were clearly preoccupied with the promise of presents to open. Clara couldn’t stand to make them wait any longer. “You may each open one gift now and the rest after lunch and cake.”

  “Do we get to pick?” Hunter asked.

  Paul hugged Madeline close, then let her go. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll pick out the present, ’cause I know what’s in a couple of ’em.” He went to the table and took up two of the larger boxes. These hadn’t been wrapped, but they held Hunter and Maddy’s interest due to their size.

  Handing them over to the twins, Paul smiled. “Now, this might seem like a strange present, but I’m thinking that after you see the rest of your gifts, you’ll be mighty glad for this one.”

  Maddy was first to open the top of the box. She grew serious and reached inside to pull out a pair of boots. She looked at Paul and then to her mother.

  Clara couldn’t help but laugh at the puzzled expression on her daughter’s face. It was only a second later that Hunter’s expression matched.

  “Boots?”

  Paul nodded. “Like I said, don’t be too disappointed.”

  The children seemed to take it in stride, but Clara could see they were more than a little curious about their other gifts. She also knew her aunt and uncle’s plans and felt confident the children would be delighted with the gift once they were made aware of how it fit into their lives.

  Everyone gathered around the table, and Paul blessed the meal and prayed a special birthday blessing on the children. Clara dabbed at the tears in her eyes, hoping that no one saw. They were so blessed to be here, and she never wanted to leave, but staying was growing harder each day. She knew her aunt understood. They’d had plenty of conversations about it. Aunt Madeline encouraged Clara to keep taking her desires back to the Lord, but nothing ever seemed to change. Curtis showed no signs of a change of heart. Oh, he was friendlier and smiled more, but he never offered her anything more. Certainly he gave no indication of love.

  The merry little party continued, and after everyone had eaten their fill the twins were finally given the go-ahead to open the rest of their gifts. Again Paul was the one to hand them out.

  Hunter was first to get the next present open. This one was even more puzzling than the first. He held up a canteen. “What is it?”

  “It’s to fill with water for drinking,” Aunt Madeline told him.

  His face scrunched. “Can’t I just use a glass?”

  Everyone laughed, except the children. Maddy now had her canteen in hand and was posing the same questioning look her brother had only moments before.

  “You won’t always have a chance to have a glass with you,” Madeline explained.

  Before they could ponder it any further, Paul handed them another present. The twins quickly opened this new offering and found knitted caps. A red one for Maddy and a dark green one for Hunter.

  “Your auntie made those,” Paul declared. “You’re soon gonna need them to keep warm.”

  The twins asked no questions this time and instead simply looked to the remaining presents. Paul obliged them and handed them one more.

  “This is the last one from your auntie and me.”

  The children opened the small package and found two small pairs of leather gloves. They looked up at Paul for explanation.

  He laughed. “Seems kind of confusing, but I think you’ll be happy when I tell you what you’re going to need all of these for.”

  The children looked at each other, then back to Paul. He completely held their attention. “Your auntie and I are going to take you and your mama camping up in the mountains.”

  The children’s eyes grew wide as saucers. They had heard stories about camping out in the mountains—about wild animals and nights spent under the stars. Both had begged to go. Clara could see the joy in her aunt and uncle’s faces when the children leapt up, mindless of dropping the gloves, and went to wrap themselves around the older couple.

  “When can we go?” Hunter asked but gave no time for a response. “Can we go today?”

  Maddy wasn’t to be outdone. “Are we going to ride horses?”

  Paul hoisted each of them up. “We are going to ride horses, Miss Maddy, and we are going to head out next week.” The children hugged his neck in delight.

  “Yippee!” Hunter declared. He looked at his mother. “Did you hear that, Mama?”

  “I did,” she said. “I’ve known about it for some time now.”

  “And you didn’t tell us?” Maddy asked in disbelief.

  “Well, it would hardly have been a surprise if I had.” She smiled. “I’m glad you’re excited and happy.”

  “Can Curtis come too?” Hunter asked innocently.

  Clara glanced at Curtis and found him watching her. She quickly looked away and was glad her aunt responded to Hunter’s question.

  “Curtis can’t go along because he’s still getting well. He can’t ride a horse just yet, and hiking around on the mountain would give his leg a lot of trouble. He’ll be able to go someday, but just not this time.” Paul and Madeline exchanged a smile.

  Hunter let out a laugh as Paul tickled him. “Thank you, Unca Paul. It’s the best birthday ever.”

  “It is,” Maddy said, giggling and wiggling like her brother as the tickles came her way.

  Paul put the children down and pointed to the table. “I don’t know who the rest of those presents are from, but I suspect you ought to get to opening them.”

  The children made quick work of it, discovering much to their de
light that their mother had given them books. They asked in unison if she would read to them.

  “I promise to read to you tonight—at bedtime.”

  “Meanwhile,” Phil said, stepping up, “Joe and I have asked your mama if we can give you a birthday present too.”

  Maddy and Hunter looked at the men in awe. “You got us something?”

  Joe laughed and looked at Phil. He nodded and squatted down. “We’re going to take you for a horseback ride. Would you like that?”

  The twins nodded with only the tiniest glance at their mother. “Can we go on a real long ride?” Hunter asked.

  “It’ll be long enough,” Phil assured. “Since you two aren’t used to riding all that much, we don’t want to go too long. We’ll do a little every day to get you used to riding so you won’t get too tired on the ride up the mountain.”

  Their response again came in unison. “Thank you! Thank you!”

  Maddy and Hunter began to dance around in delight. Clara had never seen them so pleased. In New York, living in grand style, their birthdays had consisted of expensive gifts that were seldom played with and a small cake served in the nursery with only Clara and Nanny Mim for company. She had thought prior to Adolph’s death that she would throw a large social event for their fifth birthday and invite all of the most important people to attend. She knew it would have pleased Adolph to rub elbows with the wealthy who purchased his . . . her designs. But that kind of party could never have made her children as happy as this simple family affair.

  Love . . . the true love of family and friends had transformed her children from sullen and cautious to joyous. They even looked healthier, and it did her heart good, but at the same time she feared what it would do to them if she took them away.

  “I got you something too, but you have to share it,” Curtis said, hobbling forward. “Actually, I had Paul pick it up for me when he was in town.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I pert near forgot,” Paul said. He took off for the barn without another word of explanation. It was only a few seconds, however, when he came back with a bundle of something in his arms.

  “What is it?” Maddy asked. She strained on tiptoe to see.

  Paul bent low, and as he did, a wet nose poked up through the blanket.

  “A puppy!” Hunter shouted and gave a twirl. “A real live puppy. Not just a stuffed one.”

  Maddy had her arms out to take the black-and-white pup in hand. She hugged him close to her and began to cry. Paul looked startled and glanced at Clara. She had tears of her own and smiled.

  “He’s our very own,” Maddy murmured. The puppy yipped and then wiggled around to lick the tears from Maddy’s face. She was so surprised at this that she began to giggle. “Thank you, Curtis. I love you.” She beamed him a smile just before burying her face in the pup’s furry coat.

  Clara stiffened at her daughter’s exclamation of love. She couldn’t help shooting a look at Curtis. He looked at Maddy with such tenderness—dare she hope—love?

  “I want to hold him too,” Hunter said, holding his arms out. He looked back at Curtis. “What’s his name?”

  “That’s up to you and Maddy. He’s yours now.” He seemed to sense Clara was watching him and turned to meet her gaze.

  Clara couldn’t seem to look away. He had delighted her children. He had befriended them and cared about their needs and desires. He had already been much more of a father to them than Adolph ever had been. He smiled at her as if he knew her thoughts, all while the children danced around with the puppy, calling out possible names. Clara knew she ought to feel joyful, but she didn’t. She bit her lip and turned away, blinking back tears.

  “Why don’t we take him to the barn,” Uncle Paul suggested. “I’ll show you where his bed is, and you can figure out his name while I show you how to feed and water him.”

  “Can’t he sleep with us in the house?” Maddy asked, looking up with such a hopeful expression that Clara thought her uncle just might agree to it.

  “Well, maybe after he learns to do his business outside,” her uncle countered, leading them toward the barn.

  Madeline laughed when Maddy asked what his business was. “He’s got his hands full now,” her aunt mused.

  “We’re gonna go saddle up the horses,” Phil told Clara. “Although I’m bettin’ it’s gonna be hard to get them away from that pup.” He and Joe moved off toward the barn.

  “I think I’ll go rest,” Curtis said. For most of the party he’d been quiet, and while the children had opened their gifts, he stood off away from the others. Now he looked almost as if he’d lost his last friend, but for the life of her, Clara couldn’t figure out why he should be sad. He had no reason to be sad. Only moments ago he was smiling.

  Maybe he feels alone.

  If he did, then he deserved it. Maybe if he knew what she was feeling—what he’d forced upon her—he’d realize how foolish he was being.

  “I think he’s pining,” Madeline said in a whisper.

  Clara hadn’t realized her aunt was still there. “If he is, it’s his own fault. He’s a fool to sit there and bemoan what might have been when he could still have what he wants.”

  “Maybe he needs to be told again.” Madeline smiled. “He’s got a particularly thick head. After all, getting hit with that beam at the mine didn’t kill him.” She took off after Curtis. “Hold on, I’ll help you up the steps.”

  Clara felt a surge of anger mixed with desire. She wanted nothing more than for Curtis to declare his love. She wanted him to tell her that he wanted . . . needed to spend the rest of his life with her and the children. She wanted him to say a lot of things, and none of them were going to be said if she just stood there.

  Picking up a couple of dishes, Clara’s irritation grew. She stacked the dirty plates, being none too careful. It wasn’t fair that one man’s stubborn, nonsensical attitude should ruin the lives of three . . . no . . . four people. She reached for two more plates and accidentally knocked over an empty glass. It startled her and made her slam the dishes down harder than she’d intended.

  “You feeling all right, Clara?” Her aunt had returned and eyed her with a curious expression.

  She untied her apron. “I’ll be back to help you clean up shortly. I need to have words with Mr. Billingham.”

  “Don’t worry with these,” her aunt said, chuckling. “I can manage. I only hope you can.”

  Clara stalked into the house with more determination than she’d ever mustered in her life. She threw her apron aside, not caring where it landed, and marched down the hall to find Curtis.

  His door was open, so she didn’t bother to knock. “I want to talk to you,” she said, coming to stand directly in front of the chair he’d just taken.

  “Something wrong?” he asked, his tone guarded.

  “Something has been wrong for the past fourteen years. Now you have the chance to put it right, but you’re too pigheaded to let go of your worries. So you have a past—who cares? Yes, you were sinful. You sinned and did wrong in the eyes of the Lord and everybody else. But you asked forgiveness and repented. You chose not to do those things anymore. That means you’ve been redeemed. You’re a new creation in Christ.”

  She bent slightly and shook her finger at his surprised face. “You aren’t the only sinner in this house. You aren’t the only one who had to seek forgiveness for wrongdoing. We are all sinners. All of us. You didn’t corner the market on it, as they would say in New York.” She straightened and began to pace.

  “I’ve taken all of this I can bear. I’m so heartbroken and lonely that I decided today I might as well take the children and go. I don’t know where exactly, but seeing you day in and day out and knowing you don’t love me—it’s more than I can bear.

  “I was lonely in New York. I was lonely all of my married life, but that was nothing compared to the loneliness I have found here in this house—a place I had hoped would be a refuge.” She drew a deep breath and came to a stop just inches from him. “If lo
neliness could kill a person, and I’m not convinced that it can’t—I’d be dead.” She was panting and suddenly realized there was nothing more she could say.

  Without a word Curtis reached out and took hold of her arm. She wasn’t at all sure what he was doing until he had pulled her down to sit on his good leg.

  “I am pigheaded. And I know exactly how bad it feels to be lonely—to long for something—someone.” He reached up to stroke her cheek. “You don’t have to be lonely anymore, Clara.” He pulled her face to meet his. Their lips had almost touched when Clara stunned him and pulled away.

  She put her hand on his chest. “Wait just a minute. I’m not about to kiss a man who doesn’t love me. You said you didn’t love me anymore.” She stared into his eyes, daring him to deny it.

  He gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged. “I guess being a liar is just another of those sins I need to repent of.” He pulled her close again, cupping her chin with his warm fingers. “I love you, Clara. I’ve never stopped, and I never will.”

  Clara eased against him as their lips met in a kiss that seemed to wash away fourteen years of sorrow in a moment’s time. She wrapped her arms around his neck, afraid to end the kiss in case it was all just a dream. Nothing would ever come between them again.

  “Where in the world is everyone?” A boisterous female voice called from somewhere down the hall. “Clara! Where are you? I demand you come here this moment.”

  Clara sat up straight, pushing away from Curtis as if she’d been caught redhanded robbing the cookie jar. She felt the blood drain from her face. “It’s my mother.”

  19

  Clara hurried from Curtis’s room, slamming the door behind her. She all but ran down the hall and happened upon her mother just as Harriet had begun to investigate the empty dining room.