Heart Of The Bear (Appalachian Shifters #1)

by Alanis Knight

“Please,” I said, nodding to the fallen log upon which I was resting.

  “You and Caleb still not talking?” she asked me.

  “Afraid not,” I told her.

  “You should go talk to him,” she said.

  I noticed her watching something intently, and I followed her eyes. Caleb was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. He was staring into the distance and looking completely alone.

  “I can’t, Ivy,” I argued. “I’m too upset.”

  “Look, there’s things you don’t know about Caleb,” she said. “And it’s not up to me to tell you, but clearly he hasn’t or you wouldn’t be sitting here right now. All I can tell you is that he needs you, and you should go to him.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and I could almost sense the depth of his loneliness from across the thirty or so yards between us. He pushed off the tree and disappeared into the woods.

  “Go,” Ivy said. When I didn’t move, she pushed at me and said, “Go!”

  I needed no further prodding. I jumped off the log, ignoring the twinges of discomfort that skill lurked inside my body, and I followed him.

  Caleb followed the path toward the branch, and I slowly followed after him. I watched him approach the water, and he kneeled beside it and splashed his face. I watched him rub his eyes with his middle finger and thumb, finally pinching the bridge of his nose with his elbow resting on his knee.

  “Caleb?”

  I was surprised that he was startled as he jerked his head to look at me. I assumed his shifter senses would have detected me long before.

  “What are you doing here?” he snapped.

  I walked over to him and stood over him. I said nothing. Not because I was upset with him, but because I simply couldn’t find the words.

  He shook his head and turned to look away from me. I couldn’t see his face, but somehow I knew there was a tremendous sadness within in. I could feel it. It was almost palpable. I put my hand on his shoulder, and in an instant his hand reached up to rest on top of mine. His fingers lingered there for a moment, and then they closed around my hand and pulled it to his lips. He kissed the back of my hand firmly, and then he turned it over and kissed my palm. Then he slid his fingers around my wrist.

  He stood up and used my wrist to pull me toward him. He kept his grip on my left wrist with his right hand, and his left hand scooped around the back of my neck and brought my face toward his.

  “Penny,” he said softly.

  “Shh,” I told him. “You don’t have to say anything.”

  I took his face in my hands and brushed my lips over his. I heard him exhale, and he stroked my cheek with the tip of his nose. Then he pushed his nose against the top of my shoulder and inhaled deeply.

  His lips found mine again, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me as I parted my lips for him. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and began to dance with mine, tangling and twisting as his hands began to knead the flesh of my back.

  My hands rested on the thickly corded muscles of his arms, and I could feel them twitching as he caressed my body. I was desperate to feel his skin against mine, so I tugged at his t-shirt, trying to pull it from the waistband of his jeans.

  “No!” he gasped, pulling away from me and stumbling backward.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “No… I don’t… I don’t like to take my shirt off,” he said.

  “What? Why not?”

  “I just don’t,” he said. “Don’t be offended. I just… I can’t.”

  “Alright,” I said softly, stepping toward him and reaching out to touch his arms, which were folded in front of him. He recoiled slightly at my touch, but as my hand slid over his skin, he relaxed slightly. “Caleb, I won’t ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

  He nodded, and then he pulled me back against him and began to kiss me once more. This time his kiss was cautious… a bit reserved. After a moment, he pulled back.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked him.

  “Maybe someday,” he said. “Not now.”

  “I have insecurities, too, you know,” I told him.

  “You?”

  “Yes, me,” I said.

  “What could you possibly have to be insecure about? Look at you!”

  “Yeah, look at me. My hair is always either flat as a pancake or frizzed out like a chia pet. There’s no in between. My skin always gets these red blotches out of nowhere, and no amount of makeup in the world seems to hide them. I bite my fingernails down to nubs. My breasts are saggy enough that I feel twenty years older than I am. I’ve got stretch marks in places that no other woman has them, and I haven’t even had kids yet. My ass jiggles when I walk, my thighs rub together so much they chaff if I wear shorts in the summer, and if my thighs were made of the cottage cheese they look like they’re made out of I could put the cottage cheese companies out of business!”

  “I like the way your ass jiggles,” Caleb argued with the most adorable pouty grin.

  I couldn’t help but snicker slightly, and he took me into his arms and kissed the end of my nose.

  “Look, pumpkin,” he said, “you see all those things as imperfections, but I see them as beautiful. Do you know why? Because they’re you. And you’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen in my life. To me, nothing about you is imperfect. To me, you are the epitome of perfection.”

  “Don’t you see?” I told him. “That’s the way I feel about you.”

  I could tell that he was really mulling over what I’d just said, and after a moment he said, “Fine. You really want to see?”

  I nodded. He took a deep breath and grasped his shirt. After a pause, he lifted it over his head and tossed it to the ground.

  I wasn’t prepared for what I saw before me. I gasped and closed my eyes, turning away from the dozens of massive scars that mottled his skin.

  “See,” he said. “I knew you’d see how ugly I am.”

  My eyes popped open and I turned toward him as he was walking toward his shirt. He swiped it off the ground and started to pick it back up, but I stopped him.

  “No! Wait,” I said, and he paused with a roll of his eyes.

  “What?”

  “Caleb, you misunderstood,” I told him, tugging the shirt until he finally released it. I dropped it to the ground again. “I didn’t turn away because I think you’re ugly. I turned away because I couldn’t bear to think of the pain that must have caused such deep scars. Caleb, you’re beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful, even these scars. Do you know why they’re beautiful?”

  “Why?” he sighed.

  “Because they’re you,” I said. “Because you were stronger than whatever caused them. Because whatever, or whoever, did this to you didn’t beat you. Because you’re still here. You survived. Whatever happened to you to cause such scars turned you into the man you are today, and that’s not a bad thing.”

  He swallowed hard, and I could have sworn I saw the faint glimmer of a tear in one eye, but he cleared his throat and said, “Fair enough.”

  “Alright, you overcame your fears for me,” I told him. “Now I’m going to do the same.”

  Before I could talk myself out of it, I pulled my shirt and my bra over my head and dumped them onto the ground beside his shirt. I stood before him with my sagging breasts and my muffin top spilling over the waistband of my jeans and I waited for his reaction.

  “God, you’re beautiful,” he breathed, and I could literally hear the sincerity in his voice. His eyes devoured me as if he could never get enough of looking at me. I couldn’t help but believe him.

  “So are you,” I told him.

  I don’t know who moved first, but in a fraction of a second the two of us were in each other’s arms kissing with all the urgency and passion that had been building up over the weeks we hadn’t been speaking. We tangled together in one undulating mass that fell onto the forest floor in a sea of hastily removed clothing and naked limbs.


  It had been so long since I’d felt anything even remotely close to this. I had never felt such intensity. I’d never felt such desire, or passion, or longing.

  “Say you’re mine,” Caleb demanded.

  “I’m yours,” I answered without hesitation.

  “Say you’re only mine,” he growled as his fingers tangled into my bangs and he tugged firmly.

  “I’m only yours, Caleb,” I promised him. “I only want you.”

  “Mean it!” he snarled, tugging my hair even harder.

  “I do mean it,” I gushed. “Caleb, I mean it!”

  “I hope so,” he said softly, releasing his hold on my hair.

  I could feel the desperation in his voice. It seeped from his pored and wrapped around us both like a thick fog. He needed to know that he was wanted and needed by someone who would never hurt him, never betray him, and never leave him. Despite his tough exterior, this Alpha male bear was more like a teddy bear missing an eye that sat on the store shelf so long he thought he was worthless.

  His hardness stabbed against my inner thigh, and I could feel it pulsing against me. My whole body was alive with sensations. I could feel the chilly autumn air flowing across my naked skin. I could feel his hands stroking all along my body. I could smell the rich, musky scent of him mingling with the earthy scent of the forest floor beneath us. I could taste the slightest hint of brandy on his lips as he kissed me. And the fire in my loins was raging with new intensity.

  “Take me, Caleb,” I begged him through the flurry of kissed he was planting all over my face. “Please!”

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Yes!” I gasped. “Yes, please, take me!”

  I was lying on top of him, and he wrapped me in his arms and deftly rolled me onto my back in one swift movement. Now he was above me, and I could feel his cock straining against me.

  “I smell your arousal,” he told me. “It smells delicious.”

  Instead of penetrating me, he lowered his head between my thighs. Using his fingers, he spread me apart and swooped his tongue between my lips. I shivered the moment his moist tongue touched my swollen clit, and I moaned softly. He slipped two fingers inside me and then pulled them back out. He rolled my glistening wetness between his fingers and thumb, and then he stuck his fingers into his mouth and sucked them clean, his eyes rolling back into his head in pure bliss.

  “You taste fucking amazing,” he groaned.

  I didn’t have time to respond before he slid his tongue back between my pussy lips and I cried out with rapture at the feeling of his warm tongue sliding over my clit.

  He curved his fingers into me, rubbing the mottled patch of skin inside my tunnel that was so sensitive. He lapped eagerly at my throbbing clit, and I could hear these deep, guttural moans escaping his throat as he licked me. It was as if he were a starving animal and I were the meal of a lifetime. It turned me on like nothing you’ve ever imagined to know the kind of pleasure he was getting from pleasuring me.

  I reached down with both hands and snarled my fingers into his waves of hair. I pushed his head more firmly against me, and I began to grind my hips against his face.

  “Oh, god!” I moaned. “Yes, just like that!”

  I could feel the pressure mounting. It was like little surges of warmth racing from my abdomen straight to my clit. My toes began to curl, and my nipples stiffened. I balled my hands into tight fists as I gripped his hair, and his tongue brought me to the brink of orgasm.

  “Don’t stop!” I begged him. “Ohhhhhhhh, yes!”

  Fireworks. Cliché or not, that’s what I felt. Hot explosions of blinding passion resounded within me, and I cried out his name over and over as he kept licking and sucking my clit until I was writhing around on the ground. I thought it would never stop.

  Finally, Caleb eased off, and my orgasm began to wane. I was panting with exhaustion, and my whole body felt weak.

  He climbed on top of me and began to nibble gently at my neck. His hand fondled my breast, and he pinched my nipple. It stiffened against his skin as he palmed it again, and I moaned at the feeling of his thick cock head pressing between my lips.

  I reached down and grabbed his length and began to stroke it. He groaned and bucked against me, and as I rubbed his shaft, he began to hump against my hand. I wanted to suck him. I wanted to taste the little bead of precum that was glistening at the head of his cock. But I urgently wanted to feel him inside me. There would be time for sucking later.

  Caleb took his cock from my hand and stroked it once, twice, and three times before pushing the head against my opening.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked one final time.

  “God, yes!” I gasped. “Please!”

  With that, he thrust forward. I stretched around his considerable girth, and he thudded against my cervix, causing me to gasp with a shockwave of pleasure. He began a slow in-out rhythm, and he bent his head to kiss my cheek. I could smell my sex on him, but I didn’t care. I needed his kiss, and I took it.

  I could feel the hum of his groan against my lips, and then he dipped his tongue between them. Our tongues lashed together, entwining around each other as he increased the pace of his strokes.

  My hands grasped his firm butt, and I savored the feeling of his muscles clenching with each thrust. I pulled him deeper and deeper inside me with every thrust he made.

  “No,” he snarled against my mouth, and his thrusting ceased. “I’m not ready to cum yet.”

  My pussy clenched around him, and he dipped his head to my chest and growled with frustration.

  “Sorry,” I said, smiling slightly.

  “You don’t make it easy to hold back, you know,” he told me.

  His lips recaptured mine, and as he brought me back into the passion of his kiss, he started to thrust once more. My hands slid all along his body, feeling the way his muscles rippled under his skin, brushing over his scars, which made him tense momentarily, and up around his neck as we kissed.

  “Do I feel good to you?” he asked me.

  “God, yes,” I answered.

  “Really?”

  “Yes! Oh, yes!”

  “Mmm,” he moaned.

  Excitement was starting to build up again, and I began to pulse around his shaft. He must have felt this, because the moment I started to moan with orgasm, he began to rumble deep within his chest. His cock began throbbing, and I could feel each spurt as he shot off inside me, causing my orgasm to intensify to the point where I screamed so loudly that the whole of Gatlinburg must have heard me.

  It wasn’t until the bliss of my orgasm began to subside that I realized he hadn’t worn protection or pulled out.

  “Oh, shit,” I muttered.

  “What?” he asked as his body collapsed weakly on top of me.

  “We didn’t use protection.”

  “You’re not fertile right now,” he said bluntly.

  “Let me guess, you can smell that?”

  “I can,” he confirmed.

  “Figures.”

  He chuckled as he rolled off me, and he snuggled up against my naked body and wrapped me into a tight embrace.

  You might say that I rushed into things that night. Maybe I did. But I’d known Caleb for almost three months at that point. And the passion we had for one another was utterly undeniable. It was something that could not be contained, like a brushfire on a windy day. It spread with each gust of air from our lungs, igniting everything in its path. It couldn’t be bargained with or reasoned with. It was out of control, and we were both swept up in the inferno.

  And as I lay there in his arms, I honestly couldn’t think of one thing about it that was wrong. On the contrary, it was very, very right.

  Chapter Six

  We must have drifted off to sleep as the sun was setting, because I awakened to the sound of an owl hooting in the distance.

  “What time is it?” I asked groggily.

  “I’m not sure,” Caleb answered. “Three or four, maybe?” />
  “The others will be worried,” I commented.

  “Highly doubtful,” Caleb said. “I would imagine they all know where we are and what we’re doing.”

  I felt the heat rise in my cheeks at the thought of the whole pack knowing about our little tryst in the woods, but I shrugged it off.

  “So…” I said.

  “So.”

  “So… what exactly was this?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow and looking at me with concern in his eyes.

  “I mean… what was this? Was this a casual fling, or…”

  “What was it to you?” he interrupted me.

  “Magic,” I answered. “Bliss. Heaven. What was it to you?”

  “Forever.”

  My heart thudded in my chest. Say what?

  “Forever? As in marriage forever?” I asked.

  “You said you were mine,” he reminded me. “You said you didn’t want anyone else.”

  “I didn’t,” I said. Then I quickly corrected myself and said, “I don’t. I just… I didn’t know it was going to be forever right away.”

  “Then what did you think, Penny?” he demanded. “When you told me you were mine and you didn’t want anyone else, I thought that sounded pretty damned permanent!”

  Caleb pushed himself to his feet and snatched up his clothes. He was already storming away as he was stumbling into them.

  “Caleb, wait!” I called after him, fighting to wriggle into my own clothing. It was a challenge considering my skin was damp from the dewy ground.

  It was too late. Caleb was long gone. I finished putting my clothes on and I headed back to Caleb’s house, which is where I’d been staying all summer. The front door was unlocked as always, so I let myself in. The whole cabin was dark, so I grabbed my cell phone from its usual place plugged into the one working power outlet, which ran on solar power, and I used it to find my way to Caleb’s spare room… which had become my room.

  “Caleb?” I called out. There was no answer. I sighed.

  I decided to take a quick bath and wait to see if he came home, but he didn’t. I finally curled up on the couch with a blanket to wait, and after a while I went to sleep.