A Shiver of Blue

by Everly Frost

  “She won’t believe me. She’ll think I’m just trying to cause trouble, that I’m just trying to ruin her plans.”

  “Then I’ll come with you. I’ll tell her it’s true.”

  “Why would she believe you?”

  “She will, Caroline.”

  I frowned at him.

  He said, “I can’t protect you from this. If you don’t tell her, she’ll keep pushing Kenneth onto you.”

  My thoughts spun. The Bucklands weren’t leaving town until tomorrow. I wouldn’t have to see them again this afternoon, but what about tomorrow? And what would happen after they left? Would Kenneth Buckland start malicious rumors about me—or worse, would he stay quiet while our parents pushed us at each other?

  I straightened. “Okay. But I don’t think she’s going to believe me, so you have to come with me, even though… I don’t understand why she’d believe you, instead.”

  I fixed my hair and smoothed my dress with shaking fingers. Find Aunt Alice was the only thought in my head as I walked around the side of the house, along the path and to the front where the tables had been set. Chatter and laughter washed over me.

  Alice perched with her pretty hands clasped in her lap, twisting a little at the waist. “I wonder where that new pot of coffee is,” she said to the woman with the expensive tea set.

  My gaze flickered to Kenneth Buckland who slumped in a chair further away, his expression dark. He straightened when he saw me, becoming alert, half moving out his chair.

  I hurried. “Aunt Alice.” I interrupted the other woman’s reply. “I need to speak with you right now.”

  “Caroline? What—”

  Out of the corner of my eye, there was a sudden movement as my brother charged down the front steps, shouting profanity. There was a clink and a crash, coffee splashed over the veranda as someone dropped a coffee pot, and one of the ladies screamed as liquid splashed on her skirt.

  Rebecca jumped to her feet, Nathan tensed up behind me, and Aunt Alice’s hand shot over her mouth.

  Timothy took Kenneth Buckland by the throat and lifted him bodily out of his chair and threw him to the ground with a resounding crash.

  “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you for touching her!”

  Nathan sprinted and my father shot forward at a run, but neither of them was quick enough to stop the fist that slammed into Kenneth’s face and broke his nose. Blood poured. The city ladies turned their faces away, pale as ghosts in their bright dresses.

  “Timothy!” I screamed. I caught up my dress and ran. “Tim, I’m okay.”

  Nathan and Dad hauled at my brother who landed a kick to Kenneth’s ribs and another to his shins as they dragged him off, still bellowing. “I’ll kill you!”

  Dad shouted, yelling at Timothy to calm down.

  I reached them, but my brother didn’t look at me.

  “I’m going to kill him,” he said, swearing and struggling, but he had no chance against Dad and Nathan who held him fast.

  “Tim, I’m okay. He didn’t hurt me. I’m okay.”

  “What?”

  Timothy finally looked at me, but then Dad looked at me, too.

  My father’s face was stern. “Caroline, do you know what this is about?”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Speak.”

  “Kenneth Buckland kissed me and then he tried to… but I pushed him away and Nathan made him stop.” I turned to my brother. “I’m okay, Timothy. Really. Please stop. You have to stop.”

  My brother wore an expression that I’d never seen before. It was fiery and raw, and it reminded me of my former wounds.

  Old Mr. Buckland stood by his son’s side. Aunt Alice called for bandages and towels. Victoria was shaking like a leaf as Mrs. Drew dragged her inside. It was her who’d dropped the coffee pot.

  I looked to my brother again, but Dad was speaking.

  “Well, this is a sad way for old friendships to come to an end—once and for all.”

  He let go of Timothy as Nathan waited, ready to pull my brother back if he had to.

  I didn’t hear what my father said to Mr. Buckland or his son, but within half an hour, they were packed and gone, and all the guests with them. Timothy took himself off somewhere without another word to me.

  Nathan gave me a nod. I knew he couldn’t hold me again in front of everyone, so I disappeared to the library, where I thought I would be left alone.

  I curled up in one of the big chairs and couldn’t stop shaking, no matter how many deep breaths I took, revisiting the moment when Kenneth grabbed me.

  The scent of lavender wafted through the haze. Aunt Alice sat next to me and took my hands with such gentle movements that I started to cry.

  “Caroline, I’m so sorry.”

  Her eyes were very blue and I thought that perhaps if I didn’t look at the rest of her face, she could be my mother, just for a moment, while I needed her.

  “Nathan told me what happened. He said…” She paused, but I sensed she needed me to know. “He said you were lucky it didn’t go further.”

  “You believed him?”

  “Of course I did, Caroline.” Her head dropped. “I want you to have a future. That’s all I’m trying to achieve for you. I had no idea the Bucklands had money troubles and I certainly put too much trust in the integrity of that boy. He may have fallen far from the tree, but the older Mr. Buckland must wear some of the responsibility.”

  I was quiet as she raised her head.

  She said, “You must hate me for forcing this on you.”

  I cried. “Why do I have to leave? Why is it so important for me to move away? To find someone. You’re not married.”

  Her hands trembled in mine. “No, but there was once a man. I ran off with him. This was at a time when that kind of thing was a big scandal.” She looked down at both our hands as I stared in surprise. “Fortunately, my parents were forgiving, so when it ended badly—very badly—they let me come home, as though nothing had changed. But your poor mother…”

  Alice wiped her eyes. “She was already engaged to your father and his family were very traditional people. Very strict. They hated that he was about to marry someone with a wild sister. Your father convinced them to allow the marriage, but they wanted nothing to do with your Mom. So your parents got on a plane and came out here away from everything she knew. Away from everyone she knew.” Her voice broke. “Away from me.”

  Her voice became a whisper so quiet that I could hardly hear it. “I was too ashamed of myself to see her after that. I never visited, not even once.”

  “Aunt Alice…”

  She looked at me with glassy, swimming eyes and I couldn’t tell her what Edith had said about our mother. I couldn’t tell her that my mother’s life had eventually broken. It would only add to Alice’s guilt.

  Instead, I said, “Please don’t make me leave. I know I can’t stay here forever, but I know… I just know that I’m not meant to leave. Not yet.”

  She nodded, and then we were silent, until she sniffed and said. “Rebecca’s going for afternoon tea in town with the McKenzies. I’ll have Mrs. Drew prepare something simple for dinner.”

  She patted my hand and wobbled to her feet. I noticed for the first time the hints of gray in her hair and the fine crease in the middle of her forehead. I thought about her coming home to her parents and how she’d never found someone after that.

  When the scent of lavender lifted, I slumped in the chair and stared at the unopened book in my lap. Aunt Alice’s voice rose as she left the room and paused in the doorway, calling to Edith. I tilted my head, watching over the top of the braided decoration on the plush seat. Alice leaned against the side of the door, reaching toward my sister.

  “Would you go with Rebecca to town, please, Edith? The McKenzies are waiting for her there, but I really don’t think I’m in a fit state to go myself.”

  Edith exhaled loudly enough for me to hear. “I’m supposed to be helping Jack with that new pup. It’s ready to start workin
g the ranch…”

  Alice straightened. “I’m sure he can spare you for a few hours at least. Your father wants Rebecca to be given every chance—”

  “Yes, fine.” Edith’s angry gaze fell on me for a moment. “Jack will be too busy to drive the car for us, so we’ll have to go on horseback.”

  I frowned at that—why couldn’t Edith drive the car herself?—but Alice slumped again, pressing her fingers to her temples. “Yes, yes. That’s fine.” She detached herself from the doorframe with a dismissive wave.

  Edith planted her hands on her hips, raking Alice’s back with irritation. “We’ll get soaking wet.”

  She glanced again in my direction, and I realized that she wasn’t looking at me but at the sky through the big windows. I followed her gaze to the graying clouds in the distance and was glad I could stay with my book.

  I surfaced hours later to find that I’d fallen asleep and now the room was dark. A chilling breeze washed over my arms. It had an edge to it that was strange for a new spring day.

  I shivered and fumbled with my wrinkled dress, trying to blink myself awake as I stumbled across the floor to the library window and the billowing curtains. I slid the window closed, glancing at the clock—it was late afternoon already.

  In the distance, lightning broke through the black clouds, illuminating the horizon. Awake now, I made for the door and headed to the living room.

  Alice was painting while Mrs. Drew talked through the weekly shopping list. The wide doors were closed against the weather, but the storm was visible through the windows. Mrs. Drew stopped speaking when she saw me.

  Alice gave me a quiet nod. “Hello, Caroline.”

  The room flashed bright white as another bolt of lightning streaked across the sky, closer this time. I fought the impulse to run to the horses to make sure they were okay.

  “It looks like we’re in for a bad storm,” I said.

  As I spoke, the storm broke, bashing down on the roof. I flinched at the sudden din. “Is Rebecca back yet?”

  Alice paused with the paintbrush mid-air. A drop of yellow paint slid down the tip toward her fingers.

  “Uh, Rebecca…” She turned to Mrs. Drew and yelled over the sound of the rain. “Didn’t you say you saw Edith just before?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Right before the storm broke, she came up from the stables, but Miss Rebecca wasn’t with her.”

  “Not with her? But they went in together.”

  Alice dropped her brush and wiped her fingers on an old rag. She hurried from the room while I trailed behind her, calling for Edith until she spotted my sister at the back door.

  “Edith?”

  Edith handed Samuel a towel and scolded him as he dripped a puddle onto the floor. She looked up with an expression of eternal patience. “Yes, Aunt Alice?”

  “We’re looking for Rebecca. Didn’t she come back with you?”

  Edith pursed her lips. “As a matter of fact, she did not.”

  “What?”

  Edith scowled. Her hands shot to her hips. “She came all the way back past the river with me and said she’d forgotten her purse. I don’t know why she couldn’t wait to get it another time. It’s not like those people would steal it. I told her there was a storm coming. But no, she had to turn her horse around and go back for it.”

  “Then she’s back in town?”

  “Well, of course. She would have reached it by the time the storm broke. I hope she has the good sense to stay there. She’ll be as soaked and muddy as Samuel if she hasn’t. Worse, probably.”

  Edith glared at Sam, who was smart enough to stay quiet.

  “Very well, then.”

  Alice frowned. As I followed her back to her painting, she shook her head. “It’s very unusual of Rebecca to go back on her own—especially after what happened this morning.”

  She glanced at me. “I know you girls used to do that sort of thing all the time, so no doubt old habits kicked in, but I’m not happy about it. We don’t know those people well enough. And with this weather, it was a silly thing to do.”

  It was the first time I’d seen her angry with Rebecca. When Alice picked up her paintbrush again and slapped at the canvas, not looking at me, I backed out of the room and headed to the front veranda.

  Timothy startled me by appearing from nowhere and shook his wet coat in my direction, showering me with water.

  “Timothy, you’re soaked.”

  “I know. I don’t care.”

  With a grim face, he sat beside me, removing his waterlogged boots and draining them next to my toes. I picked up my feet and tucked them under my bottom as the water ran along the wooden boards and trickled through the cracks.

  I wanted to ask him about what had happened earlier when he hit Kenneth Buckland, but the expression on his face stopped me.

  “What a downpour, eh?” He nodded his wet head at the water pouring over the edge of the awning. Strands of his black hair were plastered across his cheeks. “Nathan said the bridge is down. He went out that way—couldn’t get across.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. One minute it was there, the next it wasn’t. Well, he didn’t actually see it happen, but you know what I mean. It was gone.”

  I sighed. “Rebecca will have to stay in town and Aunt Alice will be really mad.”

  “Huh?”

  “Rebecca. She was supposed to come back with Edith, but she went back to town.”

  “What?” Timothy looked puzzled. “You’re sure she hasn’t come home?”

  “Edith said she went back. Why?”

  “Well… Nathan said he saw her horse—you know, that black mare she rides lately. He thought it was a bit strange, because he didn’t pass her on the way to the bridge.”

  I shook my head. “Timothy, you’re not making any sense. Where was the horse?”

  “On this side of the bridge, Caroline, that’s what he said. He got to the bridge and it was down. So he turned to come back. That’s when he saw Rebecca’s horse. It was already ahead of him, but he didn’t catch up to her on his way back. I guess the rain was pelting down by then, so it could have been a mistake—”

  “But, if he saw her on this side of the bridge, then she should have come home already, because she would have beat him back, and she’s not here. She’s not!”

  “You don’t think she’s still out there, do you? With all this rain, she could have lost her way, headed off track…” His eyes widened. “It’s a bad storm, Caroline.”

  “I don’t know.” I scooped up Timothy’s raincoat, pulling it on. “Where’s Dad?”

  “He’s still down at the stables.”

  “All right. Go tell Aunt Alice.”

  I ran down the slippery steps and sped toward the stables, attempting to shield my face from the needles of rain. The raincoat was much too big for me and it flapped around me as I ran.

  I catapulted straight into Nathan at the stable doors. “Where’s Dad?”

  “He’s down—” Nathan took another look at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Timothy said you saw Rebecca. He said you went to the bridge and you saw Rebecca.”

  “Yeah. I mean, I saw her horse. It was—”

  “She’s not here, Nathan. She’s not back. But if you saw her, she should be back. She should have come home ages ago.”

  He shook his head, frowning. “It was raining really hard, Caroline. I saw a horse that looked like hers, but it might not have been. I mean… if she was coming from town, then why would I turn around and see her horse? We should have crossed paths before that.” He took hold of my shaking arms. “I must have been mistaken. I saw… a horse, at a distance, but it might not have been hers. It could have been a wild horse, even. Your father told me there’s a wild stallion around here.”

  “But what if it was hers? What if she’s out there in this storm?”

  “I… Caroline, your sister’s not as fragile as all that. What would you do if you got lost in a storm?”

  “Well, I’d t
ry to find shelter or failing that, I’d stop somewhere, stay put, and not get more lost.”

  “Okay, so that’s what she would do, too, right? She might have become a lady recently, but she’s a country girl to her bones. So, I’m going to get your father. We’ll head out and look for her. Go back up to the house and tell your aunt.”

  “I want to come with you.”

  He paused. I could see him thinking about it. “I know you can handle yourself on a horse but…” He shook his head. “Your father won’t let you. He’ll be too worried about you.”

  My blood boiled. “You mean I’ll get in the way.”

  “No, Caroline, that’s not what I’m saying. Look, I’ll be worried about you, okay?”

  He flung open the stable doors. “Look at that. I came back in it before. It wasn’t this bad and I struggled to make it. I’m not taking you out in that, all right? I love you too much to let you go out into the eye of a storm. And you can hate me for it, but I’m sending you back to the house.”

  He glared at me.

  I smiled for a spinning moment. “You love me.”

  His anger cracked.

  I thought he was going to kiss me—I wanted him to—but he leaned toward me and whispered that he loved me into my ear, and for a second, there was nothing but his voice and the brush of his hand on mine.

  Then he tugged the hood back over my head and turned me back the way I’d come.

  Five hours later, Dad loomed in the living room doorway, dripping wet. Nathan stood behind him in the darkness of the hallway. I couldn’t see the expression in his eyes.

  Aunt Alice jumped up in a flutter of lavender shawl. “Well?”

  “The bridge is down, just like Nathan said. The river’s flooded. There’s no getting across.”

  “Isn’t there another way to reach the town?”

  “There’s another bridge, but it’s two hours north and there’s no telling whether it’s still intact.”

  Alice sank back into her chair as Dad ripped off his sodden boots and turned to Nathan.