Donut Be Easy

by Kristen Hope Mazzola

  I sat down at the bar and Marty greeted me with, “Hey Jack, the usual?”

  “You do make the best old fashions in town.”

  “I’ll take that compliment proudly.”

  “Hello, sir. Come here often?” Tina giggled as she hopped onto the barstool next to me.

  “You look gorgeous as always.” Her long blonde locks were curled, she had a least a pound of makeup on, and she was rocking a little black number that left nothing to the imagination. Suddenly, I felt completely inadequate.

  “What’re you drinking?” I asked after shamelessly checking out my former secretary.

  “White wine, please. Something sweet,” Tina responded.

  “Coming right up, little lady.” Marty had a wine glass in front of her within seconds.

  “Thanks.” Tina smiled before turning to me. “I’ve been hoping you’d ask me out since day one, if I’m being honest.”

  “Really? I always pictured you with an Abercrombie model or some shit like that.”

  She took a sip before laughing. “Guys like that have the personality of a wet paper towel.”

  “So, Tina, I feel like we worked together for months and I know so little about you.”

  “Well, I am really into celebrity fashion and makeup. I follow all the trendiest blogs and try to replicate the looks.”

  “Cool. What do you do for fun?” I felt like I was embarking on a round of twenty questions.

  “What do you mean? I just told you.”

  And there ya have it folks, the end of the riveting conversation for the night. Tina really had nothing to talk about other than gossip about Kim Kardashian and other celebrities I couldn’t have cared less about. It was a painful hour of me sitting there, nursing my drink as she went on and on about the sex tape scandal and how it really helped the Kardashians break into fame.

  I forced a yawn and pretended to check my watch. “I feel like it’s two in the morning,” I joked.

  “The night is still young. We should go dancing. I love dancing.” Tina slurped down her fourth glass of Riesling.

  “I think it’s time for this old dog to head to bed.”

  “Oh, come on,” she complained.

  “Sorry, sweetheart.”

  “Only if you promise me a rain check.”

  “I can do that.” I’ll just never take you up on it.

  Walking her out, I was thankful a car was already waiting to whisk her away. I couldn’t get her in the taxi fast enough. As I held the door for her, Tina reached up for my cheek and planted the most slobbery kiss I had ever felt in my life.

  “This was so fun. Can’t wait to see you again, hot stuff.”

  “Right back at you. Get home safely.”

  I shut the door and wiped her drool off my face with the back of my hand.

  Dating fucking sucks.

  Chapter 6

  Jack

  It was finally the first day of class for me. Standing in my white chef’s coat, surrounded by people half my age, I felt older than I ever had in my life. Everyone was just awkwardly avoiding eye contact as we waited for our pastry teacher to make an appearance. Nothing could have prepared me for what I heard next.

  “Hello, students. While the newly Mrs. Fischer is chugging mimosas poolside on her honeymoon, I’ll be filling in. I’m Kelly O’Donnell, and please call me Kelly. Mrs. O’Donnell is my mother, and I do not want to confused with that insane old bat.”

  I stood frozen in place as she started handing out recipes. As we made eye contact, Kelly gave me a quick wink and held her finger up to her lips.

  “Class, we’re going to have some fun today. We’re making glazed donuts.” Kelly didn’t miss a beat as she started to explain that everything we needed was already portioned out for us and waiting at our stations. “I am going to be walking around in case anyone has any questions. I want to see what I am dealing with as far as your raw skill level, so try your best to do all of this on your own. It should be simple enough.”

  I went right to work. Step one: sprinkle the yeast over the warm water and let stand for five minutes, or until foamy. Baking had never been my strong suit, but there was no way I was going to look like an idiot in front of Kelly.

  After I beat the flour in and put my dough in a greased bowl as instructed, I sat with my eyes glued to the rising concoction.

  “Nice job, Jack,” Kelly whispered as she looked around me to check my work.

  “Thank you,” I muttered as she walked over to the girl next to me, who had tattoos up and down her arms.

  Kelly shot a sweet smile over her shoulder, and I couldn’t help staring at her plump round ass as she walked away. Flashes of her bouncing on top of me assaulted my mind as Kelly started to explain how to make the glaze icing.

  I painfully fought through the tantalizing memories of the night we had spent together as I fried my donuts for a little longer than I should have.

  “Shit!” I exclaimed as I hastily retrieved the dark brown circles from the hot oil.

  “It’s okay. These will just be a little crispy. Some people like their donuts that way.” Kelly did her best to make me not feel like the failure I was turning out to be.

  “I was a little distracted,” I admitted.

  Kelly leaned in close and murmured, “Keep it professional—I’m your teacher now.”

  I had to adjust myself. That was one of the hottest things I had ever heard, and the half-chub I was rocking was going to give away my dirty student-teacher thoughts in no time.

  I waited for the class to end and all of the other students to leave.

  “Well, isn’t this an awkwardly fun second date.” I tried to play it cool but knew I was failing miserably.

  “Very small world,” Kelly remarked as she took a bite of one of my donuts. “That might be the worst donut I have ever tasted.”

  I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Why did you leave like that the other morning?”

  Kelly held up a donut at me. “Donut be easy.” She snickered as I stood there, slack-jawed in the empty test kitchen.

  “Did you really just call me easy? Hello kettle, meet pot.” I crossed my arms, leaning against the counter next to my one-night stand turned teacher.

  “I got you to take me home after about an hour of talking, so yes, you were easy. I was horny, and you seemed like a nice enough guy.” Kelly rolled her eyes when I neglected to respond, at a loss for words. “Look, women have needs that have to be satiated just like men, and sometimes one-night stands are the chick’s idea. At least I didn’t chat you up all night, run up the bar tab, and then not put out—then you might have been used. I paid for all of my drinks that night and then we had some adult fun. Don’t hate the player.”

  “Do women really think this way?” I hadn’t been single in over a decade, and apparently the rules had changed dramatically.

  Kelly shrugged. “I think most women are just scared to admit it.”

  “Holy fuck.” I didn’t know what to think, but I knew the dating world had turned more intimidating than I’d thought imaginable.

  “Here.” She handed me her card. “I should have left it the other morning.”

  “Is this a pity number?” I thumbed the card in my hand.

  “I do think you’re going to need extra tutoring after that donut display but, no, it’s not a pity number. I’d like to see you again.”

  “There’s an open mic night tonight at Mountain Breath.”

  “Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

  “Pick you up around six?”

  “You’re getting better at this whole dating thing. I’ll meet you there. I have to run and catch up on the work I missed teaching your sorry ass how to burn a donut.” She playfully shoved my shoulder.

  “I’ll see you tonight.”

  “One hint: text me when you’re on your way to the bar.”

  Me: Leaving my place now.

  Kelly: Jack?

  Me: Have multiple dates scheduled for tonight?

&nb
sp; Kelly: Just making sure I didn’t double-book myself. See you soon.

  I couldn’t believe how anxious I was. Kelly was willing to hang out with me after I had already embarrassed myself in front of her at least twice and licked her to the point of orgasming so the hard part was over, but still, I felt shaky.

  I got to the bar at the perfect time, snagging a table right in front of the stage.

  Me: At a table close to the stage.

  Kelly: About ten minutes away.

  Marty came around to my table. “Seeing a lot of you lately.”

  I shrugged. “Open mic night, for old time’s sake.”

  “Old fashioned?”

  I nodded. “And a Manhattan.”

  “Should I put extra cherries in it?” Marty winked at me as I laughed.

  “I don’t know how you have as good of a memory as you do.”

  “Years of practice.”

  Just as the first singer got up with her guitar, Kelly took a seat next to me.

  “Damn, Marty is good.” She chortled as she took a sip of her drink.

  “That he is. It’s nice to see you again.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek as her Cupid’s bow shifted with the cutest smile.

  “Thanks for not thinking I was a jerk.”

  “The jury is still out on that one, but you’re starting to redeem yourself.”

  “I guess that’s fair.”

  The woman finished her awful, screeching rendition of “Up On Cripple Creek”.

  “Gah, The Band would have burned their ears off if they had heard that,” Kelly whispered as her jaw dropped.

  “What?” I asked, following her staring eyes up to the stage where Maverick Steele was taking a seat with an acoustic guitar resting on his knee.

  “Holy shit, is that Fallon Dunbar?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. As I looked to the table next to us, I recognized the other members of the band as Dane, the drummer, stood while clapping and hollering, “My wife is so hot.”

  “Guess it is. I can’t believe they showed up tonight. This is so cool.”

  Fallon tapped the mic. “You guys are witnessing a little bit of history. If I suck, blame it on whiskey and my accompaniment. This is one I wrote with my stud of a husband and will be releasing as a single next month.”

  We were then serenaded by one of the most famous drummers of all time. It was incredible to hear her sweet, sultry timbre voice the sad words.

  Her silence screams liar

  But her words cry ‘I’m sorry’

  Her kiss says lover

  And her blushing cheeks bleed ‘I don’t love you’

  Her touch pulls toward him staying

  But her eyes long to see him walk away

  Her smile fades into ‘This is not enough’

  And her tears fall on ‘This was too fast’

  Her lips trembled with passion

  But her hair blows in the other direction

  His silence screams ‘I forgive you’

  But his words cry ‘No you don’t’

  His kiss says ‘Lust’

  And his blushing cheeks bleed ‘You’re not good enough’

  His touch pushes toward the open door

  But his eyes long to see her more

  His smile brightens into ‘This is going well’

  And his tears fall on ‘This is great’

  His lips trembled with passion

  And his hair blows in the same direction

  “How fucking incredible was that?” Kelly asked as we scrambled to our feet for a standing ovation.

  “There’s nothing better,” I responded as Dane looked over at us.

  “Jack?” Dane hugged his wife to him before leading her over to our table.

  “Dane, it’s been a long fucking time.”

  We hugged as Dane yelled to Fallon, “This dude used to be a regular here. I think his tips alone bought me that DW set in Colt’s basement.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Fallon took my hand before they joined us at our table.

  “Dane, Fallon, this is Kelly.”

  Her mouth was still hanging open as she stammered, “H-Hi. It’s so nice to meet you.”

  “I thought you guys were taking Britain by storm.”

  Dane took a swing from his beer before replying, “We decided to come back stateside for our daughter’s ballet recital. She’s been staying with the Steeles while we’ve been on tour and we thought it would be a nice surprise.”

  Fallon pulled out her phone to show us her little girl in a bright pink tutu. “I have no idea where she got her grace because we’re both clumsy as hell.”

  “She’s too precious.” Kelly stared down at the phone as her hands shook.

  “Well, we don’t want to crash your date. It was good to see you man.” Dane helped Fallon up from her chair as she waved goodbye to us.

  “You know The Hysterics?” Kelly slapped her hand on the table as she started hyperventilating.

  “Been coming here for a long time. Dane used to be my regular bartender.”

  “No fucking shit.”

  “Wanna get out of here?” I asked as Kelly’s hand gripped my knee.

  She bit her lip. “Fuck yes I do.”

  Hunger consumed me as I pushed Kelly against the wall in the foyer of my house. She moaned as I kissed down her neck, and it was like a green light went off for me.

  “I haven’t stopped thinking about how good you taste,” I admitted.

  “I haven’t stopped thinking about how fucking talented you are,” she said eagerly, moaning as her fingers pulled at my shirt.

  We left a trail of clothes on the way to the bedroom. With one hand, I held Kelly against the shut door of my room. Kissing down her chest and stomach, I got on my knees in front of her. Holding her ass with both of my hands, I let my craving be satisfied by her sweet nectar. I loved the way her body shook in response to every slide and lick. Her nails dug into my shoulders as she cried out my name.

  “Is that good?”

  “Uh huh,” she groaned as her knees trembled. “Holy fuck.”

  “I need to feel you.” I picked her up and threw her on the bed.

  As I was reaching for a condom, Kelly stopped me. “You said you wanted to feel me. I haven’t been with anyone without one in years and I’m on the pill—just fuck me.”

  I wasn’t going to ask questions. I closed the drawer and scrambled on top of her. Locking my lips to hers, I fumbled for a bit before I finally aligned the head of my dick with her opening.

  “Go slow,” she instructed before kissing me again.

  “As you wish.”

  Gently, I let my cock fill her as her walls hugged and pulsed around my shaft. Every nerve in my body buzzed as I fought myself to keep it together longer than a few minutes. Her back arched. Her hips bucked. She moaned. It was fucking sexy as hell. I wished I had left the light on so I could take in all the sights of Kelly being pinned under me, but that was probably my only saving grace in the hopes for longevity.

  “Wrap your legs around me,” I demanded.

  She did as I asked and I shifted us to the edge of the bed. Standing up, I held on to her toned thighs as I pounded into her. Watching her gasp while biting her lip and gripping her hair in the soft moonlight was my undoing. Add in the fact that she started to cum without warning and I was a goner.

  Quickly, I pulled out of her and let my hot cum pepper her perfect tits.

  Looking up at me, Kelly had the goofiest smile on her face. “That was simply amazing.”

  I grabbed my dress shirt off of the floor, cleaning her up. “Did I miss any?”

  She shook her head. “I think you got it all.”

  I pulled open my dresser drawer grabbing boxers, a shirt for Kelly to borrow and something she had left behind the last time that she was at me place.

  “Here.” I handed her the clothes.

  A playful smirk played on her lips as she gripped the lace thong in her hand. “These aren’t mine.”

&nbs
p; Wide-eyed, I cooled the panic that was building. “They have to be.”

  “I’m just giving you a hard time. Thanks for washing them for me.”

  “They found their way into my laundry. Glad I didn’t throw them out like I had planned.”

  After Kelly got dressed, I got both of us much needed water. Climbing into bed, I pulled her into my arms. “I could get used to this.”

  “So could I.”

  Epilogue

  Over a year later

  Kelly

  We did get used to it; we got very used to dating and fucking constantly. It didn’t take long for Jack Robertson to make me fall in love with him and before I knew it, he was down on one knee proposing one morning over donuts. I’d never pictured myself married, but I had never met someone like Jack before.

  I used my favor with my former boss, Barry, to get Jack a job as the front of house manager for one of his steak houses. After knowing how badly Jack could screw up a simple donut, I was easily able to convince him that he wasn’t cut out for the kitchen. I still let him cook dinner for me from time to time, with one rule: I handled all of the desserts. It was a compromise that he gave into without protest.

  Standing in the middle of our wedding reception, I couldn’t fight the stupid grin that was plastered on my face.

  “Do you like it, Mrs. Robertson?” Jack cooed in my ear as his arms wrapped around me from behind.

  “How could I not love the fact that you surprised me with a donut bar instead of a wedding cake?”

  “Well, to be fair, Eddy helped a lot.” He laughed a little.

  “Please tell me he made them.” I spun in his arms, searching his dark eyes for the truth.

  “No donuts were harmed in the making of that buffet. He wouldn’t let me help at all.”

  I kissed him quickly. “Thank God!”

  “I love you even though you have no faith in my baking abilities.”

  “I love you even though you don’t have any baking abilities. Now feed your bride a damn donut already.”

  “As you wish, babe.”