Destined

by Gail Cleare

  Tony picked up some tennis balls and started to juggle them, throwing first one then the next up in the air, catching them carefully when they fell. He was slow, but really pretty good at it. Just another in the series of surprises for me about this man, who had turned out to be so different from my first impression. It was a lesson in the danger of jumping to conclusions. I might have missed all this, had I gone with my first instincts.

  He seemed as happy as I was, maybe not quite as inebriated but enjoying himself immensely. There was a big grin on his face as he concentrated on the tennis balls, showing off for me.

  “Where did you learn how to do that?” I demanded to know.

  “I taught myself,” he answered, dodging to the left.

  “Just one of your many natural talents?”

  “Exactly!” he said, dodging to the right. “I keep telling you how wonderful I am, Emily! When are you finally going to believe me?” He threw one of the balls over his shoulder and caught it behind his back. I applauded, to his obvious delight.

  “And how many of these amazing natural talents do you have?” I asked.

  “Oh, quite a lot of them!” Tony said, catching all the balls in his hands, one at a time. He tossed them back into the empty tennis court and came over to me where I sat on the swing.

  “Shall I show you a few more?” he asked, pulling me up from my seat. Not to kiss me again as I expected, but to steer me further down the path.

  I started to wonder what he was doing, and where he was taking me. Down the garden path, it seemed, in more ways than one. But the moonlight was gorgeous and I was full of excitement, so he propelled me along.

  On the other side of the tennis courts there was a fragrant rose garden, but he marched me right through it and out the gate onto the sidewalk of the street that ran along the back edge of the park. This was where some old single-family homes had been lovingly restored and painted interesting historically accurate colors. They had beautiful gardens and little yards in the back, some with front porches featuring swinging benches and rocking chairs. I had driven past here several times and adored this street.

  “Come on,” he said, pulling me along, “I want to show you something.”

  We walked briskly down the sidewalk arm in arm, past gracious homes whose lighted windows showed cozy, comfortable rooms where people were visible living their lives. One such scene showed us an older man playing backgammon with a teenaged girl, another revealed a mother with a pile of sewing in her lap, watching television with a group of children tussling on the floor in front of her. As we approached a pretty plum-colored Victorian I waited to see what would be spotlighted in this family’s windows. The draperies were drawn shut, but I noticed that a cat had slipped underneath them and was sitting in the front window looking out. It looked sweet, homey. There was a For Sale sign on the lawn and I wondered where the cute kitty would be moving to when his owners sold their home. A new-looking silver car was parked in the driveway. It was a Prius, in fact. Ahoy there, I thought, another ecologically aware fellow traveler! I glimpsed the license plate number and was astonished to discover that I recognized it.

  “Isn’t that your car?” I asked, frowning, as he silently steered me up the front steps of the house. The front door opened when he turned the knob.

  “And, isn’t that my cat?” I demanded, as Tree jumped down off the windowsill and came rushing over to me, purring frantically. He rubbed himself madly back and forth against me as I squatted to pat him. Tony closed the door behind us and stood watching with his arms crossed and a satisfied smirk on his face.

  The house was nearly empty, with just a few pieces of furniture sitting on the gleaming wood floors. There was a large room to the left with a fireplace, in front of which a dark brown leather sofa and two lamp tables had been positioned. Tree suddenly abandoned my stroking hands and stalked away toward the back of the house in that “follow me!” way of his, tail held high, turning to see if I was coming and saying, “Mmrrr?” He wanted to be fed.

  I laughed. “Well, I guess he knows his way around, huh? What have you been up to, Tony Novak?” I asked, shaking my finger at him. “Breaking and entering?”

  “It’s not breaking and entering if you have a key, it’s just entering,” he answered.

  “And, how did you get this key?” I demanded, starting to wander through the rooms and look around, vaguely following my cat. My voice echoed in the empty space.

  “My realtor gave it to me,” he replied innocently, walking past me and going into the kitchen, where the large greenish-gray granite island in the center of the room showcased an impressive six-burner gas range. Tree was crunching dry cat food in the corner on the floor, where two small bowls sat on a newspaper. Tony opened the stainless steel refrigerator door and pulled out a bottle of our favorite champagne. An ice bucket and two tall, narrow glasses stood on the granite counter next to the fridge. I slipped out of my sandals and stood barefoot on the cool tile floor.

  “Your realtor?” I asked.

  “Yes, Emily,” he said, popping the cork and pouring two glasses of the bubbly elixir. “Welcome to my new home!” he announced, handing me my glass. “You are the first guest. Well, except for Henry of course. He’s been helping me move in.”

  “Mr. Paradis? He was here today?”

  “I told you he was with a friend.”

  “How on earth could you find this place and complete the purchase so quickly?”

  “I’m renting until we can have the closing,” he said, “What do you think of it?”

  “I love it!” I said, and meant it.

  The big kitchen was fabulous, with its cherry cabinets and stainless steel fixtures. There was a double sink with a graceful, curving faucet, and a spacious nook surrounded by windows was in the far corner, where the kitchen table would eventually stand. The island had room for four bar stools on the side opposite the stove. The walls were painted an appetizing café au lait color. I liked it very much and it would be very convenient to cook in, the way it was laid out.

  “Want to see the rest?” Tony invited, hooking his arm through mine. We brought our champagne and wandered through the empty downstairs rooms. Everything was spotless and the woodwork was beautiful.

  “My furniture is coming from England in two weeks,” Tony said as we stood and looked out the window at the backyard, bathed in moonlight. “I already bought a few new things though, just what I’ll need until then.”

  He took the empty champagne glass out of my hand and put it next to his on the windowsill.

  “Come upstairs,” he said quietly, and led me up the winding staircase.

  At the top of the stairs he turned toward the back of the house where the master suite looked out over the garden. A dim light flickered from inside the bedroom as we approached the door and entered. A circular brass table covered with lighted votive candles occupied the center of a plush dark red Oriental rug, and a ceiling fan spun lazily above. In the back of the room near the bamboo-shaded windows was a very large brass bed swathed in white linens, with big white pillows and a fluffy throw of white synthetic fur.

  “Very inviting!” I walked across the rug, enjoying the feel of it between my bare toes. I knew he had done all this for me and I was getting the message loud and clear, but I wanted to tease him a little bit more. “You didn’t leave those candles lit over here all evening, did you?” I demanded sternly.

  “Don’t be silly, do you think I want to burn my house down before I even own it?” He spoke impatiently. “Henry lit them a little while ago, right before he went home.”

  “Oh, so he is in on this too, eh? I’m not sure how I feel about that, it might be illegal you know, with the labor laws and all!”

  “Emily, don’t be ridiculous. Henry is a romantic, you know that.”

  I walked over to the bed, inspecting the elegant pattern of the brass head and footboards, with its knobs and curlicues.

  “So Henry approves of you getting me drunk and seducing me here to
night, is that what you’re saying?” I smiled at him in a friendly way, as he followed me, looking worried. I wandered to the side of the bed and suddenly hopped on, flopping down backwards and sinking deeply into the clean crisp white cotton duvet. “Mmmmmm…Very comfortable!” I patted the bed next to me invitingly. “Come and see!”

  He flopped himself down too, and then his warm, dark eyes were looking into mine as he lay next to me, propped up on one elbow.

  “I’m glad you like it,” Tony said. “And now, I am going to say something to you and you want to hear it, so stop wiggling around and torturing me!”

  “Yes, Master!” I couldn’t stop smiling, enjoying every minute of this. I already knew what he was going to say, and he was right, I wanted very much to hear it.

  “Emily, I want you to know that when I make love to you tonight, that’s exactly what it will be, do you understand?” He leaned over and kissed me firmly, finally capturing my full attention. “I’m not interested in an affair, either. I’m interested in you.” He kissed me again, and looked deep into my eyes.

  “Last time you said you were ‘obsessed,’” I said. “And now you’re just ‘interested?’ What’s the matter, don’t you like me any more?”

  I started to unbutton his shirt, slowly, deliberately, one button at a time. First his chest, and then his neck, and then his face flushed a deep red. He put his mouth over mine for a longer kiss, filling me with his soft tongue and its spicy-sweet taste. He covered me with his body and pressed me into the mattress, our hips fitting together like they were made to be joined, my breasts crushed against his strong chest. My arms twined around his neck and I answered his questing tongue with mine, my head spinning as I lost myself in the moment.

  We kissed, and kissed, and kissed. The layers of protective reserve dissolved and fell away. My heart floated right up to the surface, its brittle shell opening like a flower in the sun. I was ready to be vulnerable now, ready to let him in. The past was behind me and my fear of being hurt again had no place in this new world.

  When we came up for air I pulled his shirt off his shoulders, slipping it down his arms to drop it on the floor. His skin was hot and silky smooth, and his curved muscular chest was softly furred. He kissed the tops of my breasts where they swelled above my sundress and used one hand to open the buttons, peeling the fabric back with the other. All I had on underneath was white lace bikinis and by the time he had revealed them I was panting.

  My back arched as he took my breast into his mouth and sucked it, nibbling the tip. My nipples were on fire and I reach down myself to pull my panties off, impatient to be naked and to feel his body against mine. He grinned as I rolled him over onto his back and straddled him, unbuttoning his khaki shorts and pulling down the zipper as he watched me approvingly, arms crossed behind his head.

  I stepped off the edge of the bed for a moment to slide his shorts down his thighs, snagging the elastic waistband of his underwear with my fingers and quickly stripping him. I lay beside him and ran my hand down his body from the hollow below his neck to where he swelled against my palm with a warm pulse.

  His breathing hesitated for a moment and we both smiled, our eyes locked. Then I reached my mouth up to kiss him, lightly running my tongue across his lips, and he responded like a man in the desert who finally finds water, ravenously devouring me, and we were swept away on tingling waves of soft smooth stroking and erotic glimpses of pink and reddish-purple swellings.

  Our movements flowed together like a graceful dance. He tasted every part of my body with his lips and tongue before he finally slipped between my legs to push inside me, looking into my soul as I gasped and wrapped my legs around him tight.

  Tony closed his eyes and moaned. His handsome face filled my view, inches from mine, dark with suffused color. He opened his eyes and we reconnected, more than naked now. We had stripped right down to beyond the bone, and our spirits touched while our bodies moved together, the ultimate yin and yang.

  The coiled spring tightening inside me started to quiver. Then I kissed him hard with my tongue and he immediately reacted, pushing into me and shifting in a subtle way that created intense dizzying sensation. We gasped for air and I saw his eyes flutter and I let go completely and surrendered to the pulsing shudders that swept over us both, perfectly synchronized, perfectly matched.

  A rush of blissful gratitude washed over me, and tears spontaneously ran out of my eyes. All my stress, my fear, my pain and my anger were released. He lay beside me and held me encircled in his arms, perfectly at peace. It felt like home to me, the place where I was supposed to be.

  When our lovemaking finally came to an end, or should I say a pause, I had a raging thirst. Naked, I went into the bathroom and drank right from the tap. Tony’s shaving gel, razor and toothbrush were on the back of the sink. I noticed there was a huge double Jacuzzi tub next to the big double shower. A container of lavender bath salts sat on the edge of the tub near the faucets, and four fluffy white towels hung from the racks. More candles were lit nearby.

  This man had thought of everything! Or, was it Henry? Had he once bought lavender bath salts for her, for Margaret? Did he hope for the same happiness for us that they had found together? It was very endearing. This must be why Henry had been so excited this morning, and why he had behaved so affectionately. He wanted Tony and me to be together. He had hinted as much, several times.

  Tony was eagerly waiting for me in bed. Very eagerly! We were starved for each other, seemingly insatiable. I had not made love like this with a man for many years, not since my early college days when I met a boy named Tristan, my first lover, who eventually dumped me. At four in the morning when we were sitting next to each other in the Jacuzzi, soaking in lavender bath salts and feasting on low fat yoghurt and Veuve Cliquot, we talked about Tristan.

  “He was a fool!” Tony said comfortingly, raising my hand out of the water to kiss it.

  “Thank you, but actually he was a genius,” I said. “He studied social psychology with Jean Piaget in Switzerland during his junior year abroad, and then he kept going back there every few months for the next couple of years to finish some project they were working on together.”

  “And he kept leaving you behind?” Tony asked, satisfyingly indignant.

  I nodded, still feeling vulnerable when I thought about it.

  “He carried my photo in his wallet and told everyone I was his girlfriend, but he only wrote me one letter in three years and when he was home he’d say that while he loved me, he wasn’t ‘in love’ with me. We’d have wild sex constantly for days, and then he’d go away again.” I took a sip of champagne and stared into space. “He accused me a being a ‘physicalist.’ He seemed to think it was a bad thing. I tried to talk to him about it, but he wasn’t really interested in listening to what anyone else had to say.”

  “What is a ‘physicalist?’’’

  I shrugged my shoulders. “He wouldn’t say. I guessed he meant I liked having sex too much.”

  “No, that can’t be right!” Tony looked at me doubtfully. “It’s impossible!”

  “What’s impossible? Having too much sex?”

  “No, liking it too much is impossible.”

  “What about people who are addicted to sex?”

  “That’s different. If they are addicted to it, they aren’t really enjoying it any more. It has become a negative thing.”

  “I might get addicted to having sex with you, would that be a negative thing?” I ran my big toe up his leg and slipping my foot between his knees.

  “Emily!” He gasped happily. “You are a very naughty girl!”

  “I am?”

  “Yes,” he said firmly, “Come over here immediately!” He pulled me up over his wet, slippery body, sliding me across his chest.

  “Let me show you what I do with sex addicts!” he said in a low growl. He slapped me on the rump and whispered in my ear, “It’s time for your spanking now…”

  The demonstration lasted for quite some tim
e.

  We watched the sun rising from the kitchen windows while we waited for the coffee to brew. I was wrapped in a rumpled bed sheet, and Tony was wandering around the house stark naked. He came up behind me, reaching to unwrap the sheet and put it around both of us, our bodies pressed together underneath. We watched the sky change color as the sun rose.

  I felt a little sore and even bruised, but totally balanced and serene. I actually thought I might know now what that boy had been talking about, the difference between “loving” and being “in love.” Because there was no doubt about it, I was in love with Tony. Absolutely head over heels, madly, utterly.

  We drank coffee and Tony went upstairs to get dressed in his gym clothes, taking my car keys with him to jog through the park and fetch my car from where it was parked in the alley behind the store. My luggage from the trip was still in the trunk. While he was gone, I wandered through the house in my sheet toga, imagining what it would look like furnished.

  When he came back very soon he had bagels and cream cheese in a paper bag for our breakfast. We ate them sitting side by side on the back patio while we watched the local bird population fight over the water in the birdbath at the edge of the yard. Apparently it had rained last night, as there were puddles here and there. I hadn’t noticed a thing, and Tony laughed and admitted he hadn’t either.

  He brought my suitcase upstairs and left me there to shower and dress. When I came down the stairs, he was sitting on the brown leather couch reading a newspaper.

  “I’d better go to work now,” I announced to the room. His eyes lit up to see me standing there, and the color began to rise into his face again. I recognized that look by now.

  “Oh no,” I said, taking a step backwards and waving my hand, “I mean, I really have to go now!”

  He laughed at me, and got up to kiss me goodbye.

  “But, you’ll be back?” he asked, hopefully.

  “Try and stop me.”

  “I’ll never do that!”