Black Regrets

by C. J. Thomas

  “Kendra. Easy.” Alex squeezed my arm. “What’s going on?”

  Digging in my tote, I pulled out my cell. “I need to take this.”

  “Who is it?”

  I answered. “Mom you can’t just call me like this.”

  Alex quietly clapped her hands, proud I’d made the call to Mom just as she suggested I do.

  “I told you I would call you when I was ready.” I regretted calling Mom from my own phone, thinking she wouldn’t be tech savvy enough to know how to find the number I was calling from. Clearly, I had underestimated her abilities.

  Alex stepped away quietly saying that she was off to use the toilet and I nodded, more concerned with what Mom had to say next.

  “You may not be ready, but your father is.” Mom’s voice was crisp and straight to the point. “He’s not doing well, Kendra, and I would like for you to see him before it’s too late.”

  Dropping my forehead into my hand, I said, “Fine.”

  Even if this was Mom’s way to get me to agree to see her, I knew now that once the door was opened it wasn’t going to be easy to shut.

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  She gave me the address. It was the same one I’d always known—my childhood house—the one I swore forever ago I would never go back to.

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I felt my chest hollow and my heartbeat weaken.

  A shadowy figure sat down opposite me, taking Alex’s spot just as I was hanging up. “Can you believe Mom—” I glanced up and quickly snapped my mouth shut. The man who had eyed me only a few minutes ago now sat where Alex was supposed to be sitting.

  “You have something for me.” His words were casual. His demeanor calm, collected. But nothing about him was relaxing.

  Narrowing my gaze, I turned my head to the side and said, “What’s the magic word?”

  He looked toward the counter, then back at me with confusion crossing his face.

  “There is no magic word.” I laughed, turning to dig out the package. “I’m just playing with you. Geeze.” Sliding it over to him, I told him he wasn’t any fun and that he should grow a sense of humor before his next pick-up.

  Instead of reacting, he reached inside his jacket and exchanged the package for a white envelope.

  “What’s this?” I asked as he stood, leaving me with the sealed envelope.

  Peering down at me with black eyes, he said in gruff voice, “You’re next orders from Madam.”

  25

  Kelly

  I instructed Giselle to stay behind.

  I had to make this trip alone.

  Angel’s comments gave me enough to worry about and with two women already dead, I couldn’t risk having Giselle’s name get added to some arbitrary list just because she was affiliated with me.

  Marching up to the second floor landing I glanced down to the parking lot, watching the cars drive by on the street. The small condo building on the south end of town wasn’t in a horrible part of the city, though it wasn’t in the nicest, either.

  I pulled the address Angel had written down out of my pocket and double checked the door number. It was the next door down. Continuing my way down the corridor, I sucked back a deep breath, hoping that I wasn’t being led on some wild goose chase.

  Quietly knocking on the door, I held my breath and waited.

  My heart pounded in my chest.

  And a second later the door cracked open.

  “Oh, Jesus, Kelly.” Parker opened the door wider, surprised to see me. Looking over my shoulder making sure I was alone, he asked, “How the hell did you find me?”

  “Can I come in?”

  He glanced behind his shoulder, then nodded.

  As soon as I stepped inside the dimly lit condo I wanted to react and cover my nose. Looking around, it was just as I imagined it would be. With little doubt, I knew Parker had been living here for the last couple of days. There were empty pizza boxes, take out bags from other restaurants tossed in the trash, and the television was still flashing on mute.

  “You look like shit,” I said, turning back to face Parker.

  His shirt was stained at the armpits with lines a sweat extending to his breast. And if I had to guess, I would have said that he was wearing the same slacks as when I saw him at his office.

  “Please, Kelly,” he pressed the palms of his hands together, “tell me you know who killed Tonya.”

  The bags under his eyes were dark and heavy. His voice pathetic, weak. Everything about him was uncharacteristic of the business mogul I knew him to be.

  “Funny,” I said with hands in my pockets. “I was hoping you could shed some light on that for me.”

  He fell to the edge of the unmade bed and hung his head between his slumped shoulders.

  “I went back to your office as soon as I heard the news.”

  Parker lifted his head.

  “But you weren’t there.”

  Holding up his hand, I cut him off before he could say anything.

  “You know how that looks, right?”

  “I know what you’re thinking.” He barely got his words out without stuttering.

  “Where were you?” I asked, stepping forward. “And why so quick to disappear after meeting me?”

  He rubbed his hand on his thigh. “Sylvia Neil called as you were leaving. Told me to leave.”

  My brows drew together with intense curiosity.

  “It all happened so fast. One second I was on the phone with the DA’s office, the next I was wrapping my head around what it was she was saying—”

  “Was she threatening you?”

  He briefly glanced at me. “She said something bad was about to happen.”

  I inched closer, hovering over him on the bed, needing to know more about this call Sylvia had made to him the day Tonya died.

  “Sylvia said the media was on their way to my office and if I didn’t want my face printed on every news outlet across the state of California that I needed to leave right away.”

  I flexed my muscle between my ears, studying his body language. Looking for clues to whether or not his story made sense, I remained vigilant knowing that he could be lying. “Did she say what the story was about?”

  He looked away for a second. Then he turned his eyes back to me and said, “I thought it was about you. You know the article you threatened me with. The photos you blackmailed—”

  Holding my hand up, I closed my eyes. “Yes. I know what you’re talking about.” I wasn’t proud of my actions.

  “It made sense at the time. You weren’t exactly happy with Oscar pressuring me to press charges against you.” His eyes were red and bloodshot. “Then I heard what happened to Tonya.”

  Silence filled the room as we both took a minute to collect our thoughts.

  “It devastated me.” His chin quivered when he looked up at me. “I should have never gotten involved with Madam in the first place. But she was offering something I didn’t have in my life.” He licked his lips and whispered, “Companionship.”

  I looked around the apartment at the filth he was living in. The more he told me, the more I started to believe that maybe he wasn’t the one to have killed Tonya. With his reputation on the line, I knew that his latest business acquisition would most likely fall through, and it didn’t seem worth risking losing it all over some stupid sex photos.

  Then Parker started speaking again. “I ran, Kelly. Came here. Haven’t left. Too afraid that whoever killed Tonya,” he tilted his head up to look me in the eye, “also wanted to kill me.”

  “How did you learn of her death?” I asked, not wanting to make the assumption he learned the same way I did.

  “Tonya’s friend called me.” He glanced at me. “Angelina Davis.”

  A flush of adrenaline zipped down my spine. “Let me get this straight. First, Sylvia called. Then Angel?”

  Parker nodded.

  Turning around, I rubbed the back of my neck thinking that Angel and Sylvia were once again working t
ogether to conspire against me—against Madam—first killing Maria then Tonya. “Did you receive calls from these women before Tonya was killed?”

  Parker clasped his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. Shaking his head, he said, “I just started seeing Tonya. Angel was the one who set us up at Ty Lemon’s gala.”

  “She introduced you two?”

  He nodded, and I should have seen it coming. But I was preoccupied at the gala, keeping my mind on Kendra when it wasn’t consumed by Nash.

  “And, as for Sylvia,” Parker continued, “she’s always looking for a story to tell.”

  Moving to the opposite side of the small room, I peeked my head inside the bathroom. Nothing had been used except the toilet. The towels were still perfectly folded and there wasn’t even a toothbrush in sight. All the signs I would expect to see when a man was experiencing distress. “Did she say how she found out?”

  “Just like everyone else,” he called from the bed. “The news, I guess.”

  Standing, Parker shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, unable to stand still.

  Moving toward him I asked in a low voice, “Did you kill her?”

  He froze. “Kelly—” He looked at me with disbelief. “I know we haven’t exactly been friends lately, but you know me better than that.”

  I gave him an arched look. “Do I?”

  His neck stretched as his jaw dangled on its hinges. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  Stopping at the little round table he was using as a kitchen, I found a pen and pad of paper. Taking off the pen cap, I handed it to Parker, telling him to take it. “I want you to write down something for me,” I said, handing him the pad of paper. He looked at me like I was crazy but was ready to do as I said. “Are you ready?”

  He nodded, putting pen to paper.

  “Look what you made me do.” My lips popped as I said each word slow and steady.

  “What is this?” One side of his face scrunched in question.

  “Just do it.” My voice firmed up. “Write it down.” I repeated the phrase again. “If you’re innocent like you say you are, there is nothing to worry about.”

  “I’m innocent,” he reiterated. “I thought maybe you of all people would believe me.”

  I extended my arm and tapped the pad of paper with my finger.

  Then, as he did as I asked, scribbling each word without any thought attached to it, I asked, “If you didn’t kill Tonya, do you know who had reason to?”

  “Maybe Madam.” He peeled his eyes off the paper and up to me. “Tonya was her girl, you know?”

  Watching him write the next word, I moved the curtains aside and peeked out. He was hiding in here, but not because he was guilty. No, he was hiding out of fear.

  “Perhaps Sylvia. I don’t know. Hell, Tonya’s death could just be coincidence.” He pulled his pen away from the paper and pulled at his hair. I had never seen a man so stressed. His face puffy and his eyes so red they looked like they had been bleeding. “But it wasn’t me. She’s hungry for a good Hollywood story. Almost desperate, if you ask me.” He handed me back the scribble. “First it was about me pressing charges against you, and when that fell through she promised she would make sure a better story came her way.”

  “She told you that?” I glanced down at his handwriting. It wasn’t a match to the note I received on my car the day of Tonya’s death.

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “When she told me the media was on their way.”

  I stood there thinking about how quickly I’d returned to his office. There wasn’t any media to be found. It was business as usual with his secretary protecting his office like it was the gate to the White House. Either Sylvia needed him to leave to make him look guilty, or he was lying to delay his arrest.

  “Then my secretary called me yesterday and said something came in the mail for me.”

  Tearing the paper off the pad, I folded it up and asked, “Anyone else besides your secretary know you’re holed up here?”

  “Angel.” Parker watched me hide the paper away in my pocket. “But only because of our shared relationship with Tonya.”

  “So what came in the mail?”

  “This—” He moved to the closet and pulled out a briefcase. Dialing in the code, he popped it open and handed me the piece of mail.

  Give to Kelly Black when you see him, it said where normally the receiving address was written.

  “As if it was only a matter of time before you found out where I was.” Parker sighed.

  Flipping it over, it was sealed shut. “You haven’t opened it?”

  He shook his head. “I’m freaking out, Kelly. No one is going to believe what I have to say. Sooner or later the cops will name me as a suspect. I can feel it. The last thing I want to do is get involved.” His eyes fell to the envelope.

  When I looked at him next, it was the first time I thought maybe he was actually telling me the whole truth. “If you’re telling the truth, you have nothing to worry about as I can represent you if the police do make an arrest.”

  He gave me a skeptical look, and who could blame him? It was only last week we were enemies. Now I was offering to represent him? It was almost laughable, but I was sincere.

  Breaking the seal, I slid my thumb across the top. We both shared a glance of anticipation to learn what lay inside. Time slowed and I could feel the temperature in the room increase as pellets of sweat formed over my back. Peeking inside, I slowly pulled out the typed note.

  “What does it say?” Parker asked as he watched me read it.

  But before I responded, I read it again.

  “Kelly, you have to tell me.”

  Then I read it out loud so Parker could hear.

  Two down. How many to go? The choice is yours, counselor. Stop looking into the Maria Greer murder before another woman gets killed. The next one might be someone close to you. Watch your back and don’t believe everything you read.

  My abs clenched as there was only one face who could be behind this.

  Sylvia Neil.

  “What are you going to do, Kelly?”

  Fixing my gaze on Parker’s round eyes, I questioned the authenticity of the note. Parker could have made this up to make himself look innocent, too.

  Suddenly, my phone rang.

  Pulling it out of my pocket, I answered. “Kelly Black.”

  “Kelly, its Maxwell. She’s gone. Kendra is gone.”

  26

  Kendra

  Alex kept taking her eyes off the road, glancing in my direction.

  Giving her a weak smile, I turned my attention out my passenger side window, afraid to show her too much of what was actually going on inside my stuffy head.

  I never did tell her about my visitor at the diner. She was already too worried about me. And, lucky for me, he was gone by the time she came back from using the toilet.

  Alex drove and I retreated into my thoughts as I pinched my bottom lip.

  My brain scrambled to find a logical excuse as to why I agreed to keep my promise to Mom. But Alex was cheering me on, encouraging me to finally make my peace. And as much as I didn’t want to listen, she did a damn good job selling her reasons as to why I should.

  Plus, she offered to drive me herself—which made the decision that much easier.

  I tried to avoid the south side of the city at all costs. It was where I was from, close to family, and, until today, I certainly would have never found myself anywhere near the neighborhood I’d grown up in.

  “God, it’s weird to be going home,” I expressed out loud, wishing it felt more like a reunion than something I was forced into doing.

  Alex reached her hand over and closed her fingers around mine. She squeezed my bones but it did nothing to settle the nerves quivering my knees. “This isn’t about them. This is for you,” she reminded me.

  I nodded, knowing exactly what it was she was saying. And maybe she was right. If I wasn’t going to seek professional help to deal with
my triggers, then the least I could do was see if my parents were older and wiser to admit the wrong they committed all those years ago.

  Turning my attention back out the window, I kept thinking how it had been years since we’d seen each other. I was a grown woman now. And though I was confident with the decisions I’d made for myself, my only hope was that my parents wouldn’t resent me for leaving them behind.

  As we approached my old neighborhood, it was impossible to suppress the old emotions bubbling up inside me.

  I was mixed between wanting to sit up, proud of where I came from, and sinking down low into my seat, afraid that I might walk away from this feeling worse than I did now.

  Looking over at Alex, I said, “You would have thought I would have come back at least once all these years …”

  She took her eyes off the road and glanced at me. “Not all things are easy to move on from.”

  Staring straight ahead, I felt numb. “Too many memories that I wanted to forget.”

  “But, girl, I believe this is the right decision.” Her foot pressed on the brake pedal.

  Slowing to a complete stop, I could see me as a child riding up and down the sidewalks, racing my friends on our bikes.

  “What I wouldn’t do to be in your shoes.” Alex’s voice was light but full of absolute truth.

  “Really?” I snapped my head over to see if she was for real.

  Alex kept the car stopped, not seeming to be in any kind of hurry. And I loved her for that. Even if it wasn’t by design. Anything to delay the inevitable, I was for it.

  Nodding, she smiled. “I miss them, Kendra.”

  My vision blurred as her face puffed up with extreme sadness. And as if our two energies exploded, we wrapped our arms around each other, hugging the other as if our lives depended on the love we shared.

  “Your parents watch over you every day. I know they do,” I said into her ear.

  She nodded, and after a minute, Alex pulled back and dabbed her eyes dry.

  As soon as we crossed the intersection, I pointed to my parent’s house. “That’s it right there.”