by Amy Gamet
“Baby,” she whispered, a smile spreading over her face and a joyous giggle rising up in her throat. “Hi, sweetheart.” Then she was crying happy tears, so happy was she to feel her baby move. She didn’t know if she’d ever feel that again after her first baby died, and the sensation meant more to her than she could have imagined.
By the time she made it back downstairs, she was determined Jax was not going to ruin her newfound good mood.
“You’re sure it was him?” asked Jax.
Cowboy’s voice was deep and loud. “Ballistics confirmed the weapon was the same one used in a murder four years ago in Boston. Funny thing is, the defendant’s attorney works for Layton, Felder, Bach & Moore. The weapon went missing during the trial.”
She walked into the room. “What’s going on?”
Jax met her eyes. “It looks like Maria Elena may have been killed by someone from the law firm in Boston.”
“Or someone who worked on one of their cases,” said Cowboy. “The police. The legal staff. Opposing counsel.”
She leaned away from him. “How do you know?”
“Ballistics match from the bullet that killed Maria Elena to the one that was used on an old case handled by the law firm. The alleged shooter was acquitted of all charges.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” she said. “The lawyers wouldn’t want the heir dead. They don’t benefit.”
“Unless the person connected to the law firm is also Harold’s nephew. I’ll have Logan look into it,” said Jax, opening his cell phone and placing the call.
Cowboy turned to her. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, baby cakes. What do you say I take you to lunch?”
Jessa turned to Jax, who didn’t seem to notice. “Sure,” she said to Cowboy. “I’d like that, if my captor doesn’t mind letting me out of my cage for a while.”
Jax glared at her and she knew he was listening.
“I already asked him,” said Cowboy. “Seems I’m to treat you as an unfriendly and never let you out of my sight.” He laughed.
“I wasn’t kidding, Cowboy,” said Jax.
“Oh, I know it.”
Jessa stuck out her bottom lip.
“Still want to go to lunch with me?” Cowboy asked.
She nodded. “Anything to get out of here.”
26
Jessa picked at her salad while Cowboy took a bite of a big, juicy cheeseburger dripping with fried onions. The smell was appalling. Not that she had any appetite lately, anyway.
“I called you a few times,” said Cowboy.
“I know.” She eyed him sheepishly. “I wasn’t ready to talk.”
“Jax told me about the baby you lost. I’m real sorry, Jessa.”
“Thanks.”
“I hate to think you were going through that all by yourself.”
Her stomach threatened to reject the minestrone soup she’d just consumed, and she put her spoon down with resolve. “What about you, Leo? There anyone special in your life?”
“Always.”
She laughed. “Just one woman?”
He scowled. “Of course not, Jess. Have we met before?” He held out his hand. “I’m Leo Wilson.”
“I see.”
He picked up his mammoth burger. “What about you? Are you really having a baby with Jax?”
“I’m really having a baby, and Jax is technically the father.”
“You couldn’t do any better for father material than Jax.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s the greatest leader I’ve ever known, and I’ve known some. An honest man. I respect him, and I don’t respect a whole hell of a lot of people.”
He stared at her to the point of making her uncomfortable.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” he said, “how did you two end up together?”
“We’re not together. And just because he’s good at killing people and blowing things up doesn’t mean he’d be a good father. There’s an entirely different set of job requirements for those two positions.”
“Are you kidding me?” Cowboy asked. “Maybe you ain’t never seen him, but he’s great with kids. They run a crack right through that tough-guy exterior to the gushy middle inside. He wanted kids bad when he was married to Linda.”
“No, he didn’t.”
Cowboy turned his head and eyed her from under his brow. “Yeah, he did. But Linda was on birth control and hiding it. You should ask him about it.”
Coming from Cowboy, Jessa knew it was true, and she felt a pang of sympathy for Jax and his relationship with Linda. First his wife lied to him about having children, then she’d tried to take one away.
Don’t feel bad for him now!
She conjured an image of Jax in her living room, telling her Steele was dead, and the memory had the desired effect. She remembered why she hated Jax Andersson.
“I don’t care what happened between Jax and his ex-wife,” she said.
“Seems to me, you ain’t caring about the people you need to be caring about right now.”
She raised her head. “Excuse me?”
“I’m sure you think you’re doing what’s best, but you’re just watching out for yourself. Being a good mom might be more important to you than anything, but you have to realize you might not be the only person this kid needs in his life.”
“Jax has fewer emotions than a robot. What kind of parent will he be?”
“Your kid couldn’t do better. And if you don’t see that, you ain’t looking at things straight on like you ought to.”
“He’s holding me against my will, Leo. He tied me to the bed so I couldn’t leave. That’s why he jokingly insisted you not let me out of your sight. It’s not a joke at all.”
“He doesn’t want you to disappear with his son or daughter. Can’t say I blame the man for that.”
“He told you that.”
Cowboy nodded. “He did. Can’t say as I believed him at first, but it’s true, ain’t it?”
She looked at the tablecloth.
“It’s hard for me to see two people I care about tear each other apart,” he said. “Worst part of it is, I think if the two of you got your heads screwed on straight, you’d realize you’re the best thing for each other.”
“No way.”
“C’mon. I think it’s time for me to bring you back to Jax now.”
“So he can handcuff me to the bedpost and hold me hostage?”
“If that’s what he chooses to do, then yes ma’am.”
She stood up, raising her voice in the restaurant. “This is absurd. Inhumane.”
Cowboy leaned in close, taking her elbow in his hand. “If you’ve got any sense left in your mind, you should love that man.”
“What?”
“You could do a hell of a lot worse, Jessa.”
Over Cowboy’s shoulder, she saw Jax walk into the restaurant. Cowboy must have seen from her expression that there was something worth turning around for.
“What is he doing here?” she asked.
“I don’t think he trusted me with his prized hostage. I’m going to say goodbye now, kitten,” he said, moving forward and planting a kiss on her cheek. “It was good to see you doing so well.”
Jessa was left stammering in her old friend’s wake as Jax crossed the room. “We need to stop at HERO Force while we’re out,” he said.
She shook her head quickly. “No. I’m not going back there.”
“We have to, Jessa. There are things that need to be done to make sure you stay safe.”
She couldn’t take much more of this. She was at her breaking point, completely out of the emotional energy it would take to go into that building, but also not prepared for another fight. “Fine. One stop at HERO Force, and I’m done.”
27
The elevator shot upward and Jessa’s stomach lurched. This time her discomfort had nothing to do with morning sickness and a whole lot to do with the building they were in. The Alpha squadron headquarters of HERO Force looked li
ke any old building from the outside, but once they went inside those front doors, it could only be likened to itself, with long governmental hallways, retinal scanners beside every other doorway, and overhead lights that gave everything an omniscient glow.
She hated this building. She had always hated this building.
Cowboy shot her an understanding look, but Jax seemed oblivious to her distress.
She hadn't been here since Ralph was alive, and even then her visits had been infrequent. There was no reason for her to come to HERO Force, and it wasn't a building that was easily accessible for people who weren’t part of the team. The elevator came to an abrupt halt, the doors opening to an area lit by a blue security light.
Oh God, I hate this so much.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Andersson. The team is waiting for you in conference room three."
Jax nodded almost imperceptibly. "Thank you."
The receptionist eyed Jessa with obvious curiosity, and Jessa wondered if the other woman remembered she was Ralph's wife or if she was simply shocked to see another woman inside the hallowed walls of this testosterone castle.
Jax bent at the waist and stared into a scanner, the doorway beside it sliding open with a whoosh, and he stepped back for Jessa to enter before him.
Her legs were quaking as she walked, memories flitting through her consciousness. A memory of her husband teased the edge of her mind, Ralph explaining why they were going wheels up just days after returning from a mission.
We have to extract the girl as quickly as possible.
Extract the girl, and easy euphemism for the type of mission she knew well. You couldn't be married to a Navy SEAL for long without understanding extraction was a fancy word for going after the bad guys, guns blazing, your life on the line for someone else's in the dark of night.
The last time there'd been an extraction, Ralph had come home with a shiny new bullet hole in his leg. Jessa might have hated this, but she’d loved the man, and God knew the man loved the job.
They rounded a corner and several desks came into view. A young man stood up and bent his head in recognition. "Mrs. McConnell, it's good to see you again."
"Thank you." Her stomach rolled, and she wished she could vomit. Perhaps then she would feel better, purge herself of this awful feeling that HERO Force instilled in her to this day.
She met the empty stares of the others around him, people she once knew casually who now seemed to see straight through her.
I’m a reminder of everything that could ever go wrong.
Jax stopped walking and turned to her. "Why don't you wait in my office?"
She didn't know where that was, which in and of itself was a reprieve. She nodded.
He lowered his voice. "I'll have someone stationed outside the door."
"In case I try to leave."
"Yes."
She narrowed her eyes. "I wonder what your loyal HERO Force subjects would think if they knew you slept with Ralph's wife?"
His eyes narrowed. "Ralph is gone, Jessa. Dead men don't have wives."
"You son of a bitch." She stole a glance at Cowboy, who had moved several steps away and was pretending he could not hear. "You can be as much of an asshole as you want to be, but don't you ever say that about my husband again."
"What? That he's dead? Or that I shouldn't have to act like he's alive when his widow is carrying my child?"
She reached up and slapped him across the face. For a moment, he registered no reaction at all, then he grabbed her by the elbow and marched several yards down a hallway, pulling her inside a dark room and turning on the lights.
He bit out his words. "You do realize the irony here is that nothing I said is untrue. Ralph is dead and gone. He is no longer married to you, remember? Till death do us part. Now you might miss him, but that does not mean we did anything wrong when we slept together. So don't imply I have something to be ashamed about in front of my coworkers, or even God himself, because I don’t—”
"Let me go."
"And you don't, either. Even though you planned all this, and right now you can't forgive yourself for doing it, you did not betray your husband."
She yanked her arm away from him. "I don't need your absolution."
Jax stared at her, his hard eyes giving nothing away. "Suit yourself." He walked out of the office, closing the door behind him.
28
Jax looked around at the members of HERO Force Alpha squadron. "Whoever killed Maria Elena had access to the gun from the trial. We need to find out who that is. We also need to check out the nephew. He inherited the bulk of Harold Hopewell's estate, and near as I can figure, he's the only one with something to gain from Maria Elena's death."
Cowboy leaned forward in his chair. “Find out how the law firm is connected to the nephew, and we’ll find our killer."
Red spoke up. "We got a positive ID on the tango you took down, Jax. Albert Volcht, a German nationalist who made his living as a professional hit man."
"I was afraid of that,” said Jax. "Who's he work for?"
"More or less, a freelancer. Hasn't had any known associations in almost twenty years."
"So whoever contracted the hit is still out there."
Red nodded. "Looks that way."
Jax’s mind was racing. "There was someone in my house. Two, maybe three days ago. They went around the security gate. Nothing was amiss inside. I want upgrades to the security system at my house, starting with a secure perimeter and cameras all around.”
He looked to Matteo. “Red, take Hawk and some of the guys from tech and take care of it. As long as Jessa’s staying with me, I need to know when someone's there."
"All due respect, Jax, what if there’s trouble?” asked Cowboy. "You’re too far in the boondocks for anyone to get there in a reasonable amount of time."
Jax ran his hand over a thick scar on his chin. Normally he was confident in his ability to protect himself. But this was Jessa’s security they were talking about — Jessa and his child — and that changed things.
That changed things a lot.
He nodded. “Cowboy, you and Logan set up in the bunkhouse until we’re through with this mess.”
Logan sat up straighter in his chair and looked from side to side. "What's the bunkhouse?"
“A cabin on my property,” said Jax. "I want you there within the hour. Help Red supervise the upgrades."
"Uh…" Logan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I'm sort of having a party tonight. I mean, I know this is more important, and if you need me there I’ll go, but—"
"A party?" snapped Jax.
Logan cleared his throat. "Yes sir. You said you'd be there, actually. Sort of a housewarming party for my new condo."
Jax furrowed his brow. "I don't give a rat's ass about—"
"Hawk can stay at the bunkhouse with me," interrupted Cowboy. “Once Red's got the security perimeter in place, we can all stop by the party for a bit."
Jax and Cowboy exchanged a look. "Fine," said Jax.
Logan smiled. “Glad you can make it, sir.”
Jax showed his teeth. "Let's get started. We only have two or three hours before dark."
29
If Jax was the Tin Man, then this office was the inside of his big, empty chest.
The walls held pictures of Jax with five star generals and two US Presidents. There were two degrees, one from Harvard and one PhD she never knew he had, but it failed to give him personality or actual flesh and blood.
Jessa's eyes drifted over shelves of books about history and tactical decision-making, and it occurred to her that even with good decisions, history was still bound to repeat itself unless people learned, but that never seemed to happen.
That was why people like Jax and companies like HERO Force had something to do, lest they sit around here twiddling their thumbs.
She sat down at his desk with a sigh. She didn't know what she was looking for, she only knew she had not found it. She started opening drawers, unconcerned with
Jax’s privacy. He’d gone through everything she owned. If he didn't want her going through his things, he shouldn't have left her in here alone.
The first thing that surprised her was the gun. In a place like this, everyone had a weapon all the time, but to find one in an unlocked drawer was alarming. She checked the chamber. It wasn't loaded, and she slipped it back inside the drawer and opened the next one.
Whiskey. Arguably, Jax’s best friend.
No surprise there.
She pulled open the bottom drawer and her heart fell out of her chest. There, next to a few cigars, was a small framed picture of Ralph and Jax laughing.
Her chest tightened as she brought the picture close to her face. They were wearing fatigues, and she recognized it must have been taken in their navy days. From the obvious youth on their faces, it was likely shortly after they met and before Jessa was even in the picture.
Those two were always laughing together. Come to think of it, the only time she’d seen Jax really laugh was with Ralph. They were friends — good friends — and finding this little piece of her heart tucked away in Jax’s desk drawer seemed like the only thing in the entire space that showed he was capable of feeling.
30
Jax walked back to his office wondering what he would find. He never knew how Jessa was going to respond, never knew if she would be happy or sad, angry or glad. It should have driven him crazy. Instead, it just made her fascinating.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he found. She was sitting at his desk, the framed picture of Ralph and him in her hands, crying.
He stopped short, and she looked up to meet his stare. “We both loved him, didn’t we?” she asked.
Jax ground his back teeth together as he moved to her and perched a hip on his desk. He could think of a thousand things he’d rather talk about, but he only said, “Yes.”
She nodded. “I’d forgotten how you two used to laugh together.” She wiped at her cheek. “I think it was easier if I forgot you were his friend.”
