365 Days Alone

by Nancy Isaak

“That’s how you’re threatening us?” I asked.

  “No,” she grinned. “That’s just the ‘carrot’…here’s the ‘stick’. You stop doing what you’re supposed to in the Community, or start flapping your gums to the other girls, telling tales out of school, let’s say…well, that’s when Lily’s fun stops…when she goes somewhere else.”

  “Where?” I asked.

  If anything, Orla’s grin got even bigger. “Why, I give her to Tray, of course.”

  * * * *

  For a moment, I thought that Jude would pull out her gun.

  With all the 11th and 12th graders surrounding us, there was no doubt in my mind that that action would result in, at the very least, one fatality—Jude’s.

  And she was straining hard to pull her hand free from mine.

  I held on even tighter, my fingers twisting to hold hers in place.

  “Trust me,” Orla continued. “You really don’t want Lily with Tray.” She turned suddenly and punched Tray slightly on the arm. “No offense, bitch.”

  Tray punched her back—just a little bit harder. “None taken…bitch.”

  Meanwhile, the growling beside me was growing even louder.

  I didn’t know about Jay’s, but I was losing sensation in the hand that was holding onto Jude’s—she was squeezing me so hard, I felt that my fingers would eventually break.

  “Even if we don’t say anything,” I said—my words tumbling out—a rushed mixture of fear and pain, “you know that the other girls will eventually figure it out—the visas, the beasts, all the lies—everything.”

  Orla snorted out a laugh. In the circle surrounding us, the 11th and 12th graders all smiled.

  “Were you not paying attention during Social Sciences?” Orla asked me. “Like, those girls out there in the Community—they aren’t big thinkers. They’re the masses. They’re the peasants. Give them food in their bellies, a roof over their heads, and the threat of a bullet if they misbehave—they will follow their leaders anywhere. History has proven that again and again.”

  “And the ones who don’t,” said Tray, ominously, “can always spend time with me.”

  Orla motioned to the girls from the Protection Detail. “Come on. This is just getting boring now. Brews and chips at my place, Ladies.”

  The circle immediately began to fall apart—girls backing away, slowly lowering their guns—until only Tray remained.

  “Come on, Tray,” called Orla, from the side of the house.

  “Give me a sec,” Tray called back, her eyes never leaving us. She was holding her gun down at her side, tapping it against her right leg—as if trying to decide whether to actually use it or not.

  “You heard your master,” taunted Cherry.

  “Seriously,” said Tray, amused. “You’re going there?”

  “Just go, Tray,” I urged her. “You did what you came to do. You ruined everything. So get the hell out of here!”

  “Absolutely,” she nodded.

  She turned and took a step. Then, as if she’d just remembered something, she turned back around—grinning.

  “Two words for you,” she said. “Well…for Cherry, actually.”

  “What?” sighed Cherry.

  Tray grinned even wider. “Where’s Wandy?”

  * * * *

  Cherry spun around. We all did.

  But—there was no one there.

  Wandy was gone!

  JUNE

  JOURNAL ENTRY #28

  It’s Lily's eighth birthday today.

  None of us have seen her since the Foxes took her away.

  The house seems so quiet and empty without her. We all miss her smiling face sooo much.

  * * * *

  Jude carved Lily a miniature Pugly out of a piece of wood that she found in Chumash Park. Then Jay and I made Lily a ‘care package’, and put in some of her toys and clothes. And—of course—I added a couple of Barbies, while Jay snuck in a “Doctor Who” paperback.

  In our own way, the presents are us saying—‘We’re still here, Lily! Please don’t forget us or think that we’ve abandoned you.’

  Needless to say, it would have been a bad idea for Jude to take the presents to Lily. And—since Jay was training Belinda at the Medical Center today—I became the designated ‘present-giver’.

  The Protection Detail, however, didn’t agree.

  * * * *

  I made it as far as the first driveway of the first house on the hill of the Foxes Compound before they showed up—with their guns out.

  “What do you want?” barked Alice, coming toward me. There was a group of five or six 11th and 12th graders right behind her.

  “I just brought some presents for Lily,” I said, holding up the box filled with our wrapped gifts.

  “So?”

  “So…it’s her birthday.”

  “And you thought that would get you inside?” Alice scoffed.

  “Honestly, I could care less about going inside,” I said, truthfully. “So just call Lily. I’ll give the gifts to her standing on the sidewalk. I just want to make sure she has a nice birthday.”

  “She’s not here,” said a quiet voice.

  The Detail immediately parted, letting Tray through. She stopped beside Alice and gave me a very slow ‘up-down’ look.

  “Give your presents to Alice,” Tray told me. “She’ll put them in Lily’s room for when she returns.”

  “Should I go through them first?” asked Alice. “Make sure there isn’t any contraband in them.”

  Tray smiled at me. “Anything we need to know about in the gifts, Blondie?”

  I shook my head. “Just toys and clothes.”

  She motioned Alice back toward the compound. “Put them in Lily’s room.”

  “You’re going to trust her?!” Alice seemed surprised—and a little offended.

  Tray shrugged, her attention all on me now. “This one’s honest, I think,” she said, quietly. “I like that about her.”

  Mumbling under her breath, Alice took the box of presents from my arms. A moment later, she and the 11th and 12th graders had disappeared up the hill.

  Tray remained on the sidewalk, however, standing in front of me. “You’re really pretty,” she said, studying me. “Not even wearing make-up, you’re very pretty.”

  I decided to ignore her words. Instead, I asked, “Where’s Lily?”

  “Peyton took her out for a birthday trip. They went shopping.”

  “They went shopping?!”

  I was stunned and must have looked it, because Tray burst out laughing. “Over at the Antiques Mall, across the 101,” she explained. “Peyton thought it would be fun for Lily to choose some knick-knacks, that sort of thing.”

  “She’s okay—Lily?”

  “Peyton’s good with her,” Tray nodded. “Actually, truth is—Lily is good for her. It’s been helping Peyton a lot, having Lily around. Because of Amelie, you know.”

  I nodded. That, I could understand.

  Tray looked down at the ground, drawing her foot along the edge of the sidewalk—as if considering her next words.

  Finally, she looked back up again. “I can get her back for you. Lily—if you want her.”

  “Of course we want her. She’s our family.”

  “But…well…I’d want something in exchange.”

  The hackles rose up on the back of my neck. “What?”

  She looked directly at me with her way-too-beautiful amber eyes. “I like you, Kaylee…and I think that you maybe like me a little, too.”

  Not a chance in hell—but I wasn’t about to tell her that.

  “What do you want, Tray?” I asked carefully. “How do we get Lily back?”

  “Not ‘we’,” she said. “You.”

  Crap—this was going to be tricky.

  “Um…I kind of like this boy,” I squeaked.

  “Jacob Riker.” She nodded, as if she understood. Then—as if she was speaking to herself—Tray said, “And now I like this girl even more, because she’s being
faithful to a guy that doesn’t even exist anymore. How weird is that?”

  “Pretty weird,” I agreed.

  “Tell you what, Kaylee.” Tray reached out and touched my hair.

  I wanted to pull back—I was so repulsed. Because of what was at stake, however, I held my ground.

  “I want you to think about it, okay?” she said. “We don’t have to be roomies or anything like that. Just friends with benefits every once in a while.”

  “And you’ll give Lily back?”

  Tray grinned. “Oh, I will give you so much more.”

  * * * *

  I’m still trying to decide whether or not to tell Jay and Jude about what happened. But it’s all so…icky.

  No matter how beautiful Tray is physically—to me—she has to be one of the most ugly girls that I have ever met.

  The world might have changed.

  One day I might even kiss a girl.

  But I promise this…it will never be Tray!

  CHANGING DETAILS

  Summer came early to Agoura Hills.

  The heat rose with the sun—rising to an intensity that drove us indoors for most of the day. Grass that had grown to knee-length during the last few months, suddenly shriveled up, turned brown, and died. The smell of distant fires we couldn’t see ebbed and flowed in the air, causing us to search the skies for life-threatening billows of smoke.

  Those of us who worked outside came home each afternoon sweaty, sunburned, and exhausted. Those who worked inside sweltered in temperatures that easily hit well over a hundred degrees.

  We all desperately missed air-conditioning and swimming pools.

  And ice cream.

  * * * *

  If anything—the Foxes became even more imperial.

  We saw less of them now, but—when they did emerge from their Compound—it was with a royal retinue. Like ladies-in-waiting, some of the younger girls had either been drafted to the Foxes ‘royal court’ or—even more scary to us—joined of their own accord.

  The group moved as a solid block when they traveled now—Protection Detail on the outside, ladies-in-waiting in front and behind—the Foxes in the middle.

  Jude said (only half-joking)—that this was probably the Foxes’ way of making it near impossible for us to assassinate them.

  * * * *

  And the saddest thing of all—Orla had been right.

  The other girls in the community didn’t see anything wrong with what the 11th and 12th graders were doing.

  Whenever the Foxes appeared, it would be like a queen and her royal court had chosen to venture among the lower classes. The girls would duck and weave, pushing each other aside to get a better look.

  Some would even applaud.

  * * * *

  Each Wednesday, either Jay or I would petition the Tribunal to have Lily returned. And—each Wednesday—our petition would be denied.

  Shelton would hand our paper to Alice, who would then take it to Orla, who would then take one look at it and inevitably shake her head.

  While this was happening, Tray would always look over and give me a smile that was more invitation than anything else.

  And—seated beside Tray—Peyton would not even look at us at all.

  * * * *

  Lily, of course—was nowhere to be seen—as if the Foxes had swallowed her up and eaten her whole.

  It was hard on all of us but—it was killing Jude.

  In some ways, that little girl had civilized her.

  Where Jay and I had been Lily’s older sisters, Jude had become Lily’s substitute-mother. And now—like a mother—Jude was sick with worry about her little girl.

  (Of course, it didn’t help that Pugly was always mooning about the house—whining and farting—pushing his nose through Lily’s things, as if that would make her suddenly appear.)

  * * * *

  Shawnee and Cherry, meanwhile, were still dealing with the loss of a member of their own household—Wandy.

  We’d still sit with them during meal times, but they spent more and more time alone, up in their house on Driver Avenue.

  I worried about both of them but—frankly—I had absolutely no idea of how to help them through their grief.

  * * * *

  Meanwhile, Jay couldn’t prove it, but she was pretty sure that Shawnee had started stealing again. While the rest of us continued to lose weight—Shawnee was actually getting heavier.

  There were times when Jay swore that she could even smell the chocolate on the young girl’s breath. And—once—I caught Shawnee coming out of the supply room with bulging pockets.

  Before I could question her, however, she ran away.

  Neither Jay nor I knew how to bring the subject of Shawnee’s thievery up with Cherry while she was still grieving over Wandy’s loss.

  But we should have tried.

  * * * *

  Sophia was—of course—still living with Cherry and Shawnee.

  While it bothered us to see her with them, Jay and I agreed that it wasn’t any of our business. Jude’s distaste for Sophia, however, had continued to grow.

  And Sophia returned the favor.

  She started making the sign of the cross whenever she came across Jude—as if warding herself against some demon. She spoke of Jude as being in ‘league with the devil’ and soon to be ‘called to Judgment’.

  With Reena by her side, Sophia often walked the perimeter of the high school, just before dusk. They would recite verses of the bible or sing church hymns—encouraging other girls to join them in this nightly ritual.

  I often wondered if it had been Sophia who had told the Foxes that we were planning on leaving the Community on the night of Wandy’s birthday. When she was asked this directly by Cherry, however, Sophia adamantly denied it.

  She even swore on her bible—which was why Cherry believed her.

  But—I still wondered.

  * * * *

  The second week of June—new Work Details were given out.

  Despite Jay’s objections that I was still needed in the Medical Center, I was sent to work in the field. It was hot, hard work, but I liked seeing the tiny seedlings struggling to find their way out of the ground.

  Like us, the plants burned in the sun. It took myself and the other farm-girls a week to figure out that we had to cover the seedlings with a fine mesh to protect them from the glare.

  Wandy—of course—would have known immediately.

  * * * *

  Cherry, meanwhile, remained on Laundry Detail.

  Shawnee, however, was transferred to the Foxes Compound. She became one of a number of the younger girls who were chosen to work as chambermaids. In the mornings, they would clean the rooms of the Foxes and their followers. Then, at lunchtime, they would go to the cafeteria and bring them back their meals.

  At first, Cherry was incensed that Shawnee was chosen for this duty. Not only did she not want Shawnee working anywhere near the Foxes, she was also offended that her younger sister was being treated like a ‘house slave’.

  “It’s just because she’s black!” Cherry insisted.

  Jay tried to reason with her. “It’s not,” she said, carefully. “If anything, it’s because she’s your sister.”

  “Then that’s even more reason why Shawnee shouldn’t do it. I won’t allow it!”

  It was Jude who eventually made Cherry change her mind.

  “She might see Lily,” Jude told her. “Shawnee might be our only chance to get Lily back.”

  * * * *

  So—Shawnee became our eyes and ears in the Foxes Compound.

  Truthfully, she hated working there in the beginning. She was assigned to a house belonging to three of the 11th graders on the Protection Detail. Shawnee said that the girls who lived there made her empty their ‘chamber pots’ every morning. Then, she had to make all the beds and do whatever other menial chores they had waiting for her.

  Plus, the three older girls often teased her—sometimes about her weight, more often about her
‘wacko-sister’.

  But one day—after about a week and a half—Shawnee was reassigned; she was now to work in the Foxes’ giant house.

  Shawnee had just become Peyton’s personal maid.

  JOURNAL ENTRY #29

  Jay and I took lunch to Jude today.

  She’s just started work on the new project for the Construction Detail. They’re making a big container in the middle of the football field. Jude said that the Council wanted a safe place to store things ‘in a secure manner’.

  Honestly—it’s just a big cage with a locked door—there are bars on all six sides.

  Jude had to learn how to do welding the old-Pioneer-way, from a blacksmithing book we got from the library. It’s called ‘forge welding’ (kind of neat), and doesn’t use any electricity.

  The last three nights, I’ve stayed up with Jude—helping her memorize the manual.

  It’s a dyslexia thing.

  * * * *

  Jude was welding when we arrived—sticking something shiny to something else even shinier. So, Jay and I decided to wait in the football stands and eat our own lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, with four Oreo cookies for dessert.

  Jay went for the cookies first, of course, twisting one after another open and licking out the icing.