365 Days Alone

by Nancy Isaak

  Lily responded by turning her head into Jude’s chest, hiding her face from Tray.

  “And you?” Tray nodded to Jude. “What do you want?”

  Jude put her arms around Lily, holding her close. “Get Lily out of here,” she said, quietly. And though it must have killed her to say it, Jude added—“Please.”

  Tray was quiet for a moment, as if considering it.

  Then, she grinned. “Nah…I really want to shoot her. I want to shoot all of you.” Tray looked over at me. “But as a favor to Blondie—I can always do Lily first.”

  * * * *

  Our ‘last supper’ was amazingly good—vegetable lasagna, salad, and chocolate cookies. Sophia watched us as we ate; she was pacing back and forth on the far side of the field—wringing her hands, muttering under her breath.

  “Do you think Sophia’s conscience is finally getting to her?” I asked Cherry. “She looks upset.”

  “Who cares?” Cherry responded, taking a big bite of cookie. “I’m so done with her it isn’t even funny.”

  Over at the gate, Sophia wiped at her eyes.

  That intrigued me—was she actually crying?

  “Lily,” I said, quietly. “I want you to get up and walk over to the edge of the cage—the side that’s facing Sophia. When you get there, I want you to wave at Sophia and call her name. I’m going to tell you some things to say. You do that, okay?”

  “Okay.” Lily got up and walked to the bars closest to Sophia. “Hi, Sophia!” she called out, waving.

  At the gate, Sophia stopped her pacing. For a moment, she appeared frozen; then she gave a tentative wave back.

  “Tell her how much you liked the meal,” I whispered.

  “I liked the meal!” Lily yelled. “Especially the cookies!” she added. “You make the best chocolate cookies ever, Sophia!”

  “Thank you, Lily,” Sophia called back.

  One of the 12th graders guarding us started walking toward Sophia—no doubt to shoo her away. Quickly, I told Lily the rest of what I wanted her to say.

  “Sophia,” Lily yelled, “I’m going to be dead tomorrow, so I just wanted to say thank you for cooking such good meals just like my mom did. I love you, Sophia!”

  Even from here, I could see the tears falling down Sophia’s face. “I love you, too, Lily,” she sobbed.

  Then—the 12th grader was there and pushing Sophia away.

  * * * *

  “What was that all about?” asked Jude.

  I shrugged. “Probably nothing…but maybe a chance for Lily.”

  “You think Sophia might save her?”

  Looking down at the ground, I kicked at the dirt, frustrated. “Listen…I need to say something…to everybody. It’s important.”

  The girls all gathered round me, forming a small huddle.

  “What is it?” asked Jay, concerned by my seriousness.

  “First…I want to apologize…for being such a bad leader.”

  Jay shook her head. “You’re a great leader, Kaylee.”

  “We’re in a cage, Jay.”

  “But that’s not your fault—that’s just bad luck.”

  I didn’t want to debate it, so I just moved on. “There’s something I’ve been thinking of…I can’t save all of us…but I think that I might just have a way to at least save Lily.”

  “Does it have anything to do with what just happened with Sophia?” asked Jay.

  “It has everything to do with Sophia,” I nodded.

  “If it will save Lily, I’m all for it,” said Jude.

  “You haven’t heard my plan, yet,” I warned. “We’re going to have to do something very, very terrible.”

  And, as I began to explain—their mouths opened wide in horror.

  * * * *

  According to Jay, there was going to be a gibbous moon in the sky that evening. Apparently, that meant that—at midnight—the moon would rise up from the horizon—heralding in Halloween.

  October 31st—which was also…Jude’s 18th birthday!

  * * * *

  Because of the angle of the stadium, there was only one side of the cage where we could stand and look at the horizon of the sky. That’s where Cherry stood, for more than an hour—watching for the gibbous moon—waiting.

  Meanwhile, Lily sat right in front of Jude. Resolute, stubborn, she held onto both of Jude’s hands, refusing to look at any place other than the older girl’s face. Lily was utterly convinced that—if she didn’t look away—Jude wouldn’t be able to disappear.

  The rest of us wandered the cage nervously—stopping to touch Jude’s shoulder now and again, more to reassure ourselves than her.

  “Guys,” Jude finally complained, “you’re all making me major league uncomfortable. Like I’ve got a massive booger hanging from my nose or something.”

  “We don’t want you to go away,” said Lily, simply. “So, we’re gonna’ keep you right here in front of us where we can see you.”

  “I already told you. I was born at 7:05 p.m. on the 31st,” said Jude. “Since we’re getting knocked off at ten in the morning, I think you guys can relax.”

  “It’s up!” Cherry pointed excitedly to the horizon. “The moon’s risen!”

  We all raced over to take a look.

  Even Jude.

  “Okay,” she said, looking relieved. “It’s Halloween. So, can you guys all give it a rest now?”

  Lily hugged Jude. “You’re still here!”

  “I’m still here, Sailor. Now, go get some sleep. You’ve got a big acting job in the morning.”

  “You come sit with me.” Lily ordered, tugging at Jude’s hand.

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” Jude said, pulling her hand free. “I just need to talk to Cherry for a moment.”

  Jay and Peyton took Lily and led her to the other side of the cage. They sat down, murmuring quietly to each other.

  I was about to follow, but Jude put out her hand and stopped me. Looking down, I realized that Jude’s hand was shaking.

  Big faker—she had been scared.

  Jude saw where I was looking and quickly pulled back her hand. “Shaddup,” she said, quietly.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  Cherry moved in close. “What is it, Jude?”

  “Back in the basement, when it was just the three of us…well, I want you guys to know that I didn’t sleep through it all,” Jude said, quietly. “So, I know what you did for me, Cherry…you saved my life…and I just wanted to say thank you.”

  Cherry shrugged. “I did the same thing any one of us would do.”

  Jude looked around at our sad group—then she nodded. “True that.”

  “So, is your wuss-out over?” asked Cherry, teasing.

  Whack!—Jude’s hand shot out and connected with the side of Cherry’s head.

  * * * *

  Not one of us slept during the night—not even Lily.

  As the first rays of sun breached the edge of the stadium, I reached over and tapped Jude on her foot.

  “You’re eighteen,” I told her. “You’re old enough to join the army now.”

  “And vote,” added Cherry—yawning.

  “But still too young to drink,” teased Jay. “Which is kind of ironic, considering how we first found you.”

  “I wish we could give you a party,” I sighed. “Sorry, Jude.”

  “It’s okay,” she said. “Parties aren’t really my thing, anyways.”

  Lily suddenly sat up straighter. “We can still give Jude presents,” she declared. “Okay! I’m going to give Jude a boyfriend…and his name is going to be—Porter!”

  We all laughed.

  Jude tapped Lily on the head, gently. “Silly girl,” she said, fondly.

  “You go, Peyton,” ordered Lily. “What will you give Jude for her birthday?”

  “That’s easy,” Peyton said. “A machine gun.”

  Jude nodded her approval. “Good choice. I can put that to use immediately.”

  Lily looked at Jay, who thoug
ht about it for a moment. “Well…I suppose I’ll give Jude a really good set of tools, so that she can build stuff or make jewelry—whatever she wants.”

  “Nice.” Jude reached out and pulled on one of Jay’s four braids in gratitude.

  “Sheesh,” said Jay, pushing her hand away. “Try saying ‘thank you’ like normal people, why don’t you?!”

  “Your turn, Kaylee,” said Lily.

  “No problem…I’m giving her six tickets to Disneyland.”

  “So, we can all go together!” squealed Lily, clapping.

  “Together,” I nodded—trying to ignore the sadness building in my heart.

  “Your gift sucks, Barbie,” said Jude, frowning.

  My face fell—the sadness growing exponentially larger.

  Jude punched me lightly in the arm. “Dude, grow up! I simply need seven tickets. Didn’t you hear?” she chuckled. “I’ve got a boyfriend named Porter that I have to take now, too.”

  HOW IT ALL ENDED

  It was almost time—for our deaths, our executions…our murders.

  Tray and Orla entered the field—surrounded by their Protection Detail. There was a tiny bandage on the bridge of Orla’s nose and she was sporting two black eyes.

  They stopped, just outside of our cage—staring in at us.

  We were all sitting in a circle, quietly enjoying a non-existent birthday cake and drinking invisible fruit punch—our pinkies extended, our souls intact.

  “What a bunch of freaks,” said Tray, shaking her head.

  I rose, dusting off my clothes and walked toward them. “You really going to do this?” I asked Orla. “Because it’s going to be a heck of a body count. A lot of crosses going up on that hill today.”

  Orla grinned at me. “Who says that you’re going up on the hill? Like Cherry said, the girls are hungry these days. A little meat in their soup pot might just hit the spot, don’t you think?”

  I tried not to react to her words—although I was reeling inside with disgust and horror.

  Was Orla truly considering cannibalism?

  Even more horrifying—had she already?

  Ignoring the sickness I was feeling, I attempted to appeal to Orla’s compassion. “Will you please let Lily go? She’s just a little girl. I know that Sophia will want to take her.”

  Orla said nothing, just moved around the cage toward Peyton. “Last chance, bitch,” she said, punctuating her words by grabbing the bars and giving them a good shake.

  Peyton didn’t even look at Orla.

  Instead, she just waved her hand—as if she was swatting away an annoying fly.

  Irritated, Orla came back to me.

  “Bang, bang,” she snarled. “To all of you.”

  * * * *

  The stands filled up with girls a little while later.

  Although I saw a solemn face here and there—for the most part—the atmosphere seemed almost festive. Girls laughed and joked with each other—pointing at us, whispering in each other’s ears.

  I noticed that many of the girls were eating chocolate. Others had candy bars held in their hands or sticking out of their pockets. It appeared that Orla had opened up the food stores for the event.

  Chocolate as the new popcorn.

  In the front row, I was pleased to see Sophia seated beside Reena. Both girls were quietly reading from their bibles.

  “Jude,” I whispered. “Do you see them?”

  She nodded, then turned to Lily—who was seated beside her and holding tightly onto Jude’s arm. “You have to go now, Sailor Moon.”

  Lily didn’t move; instead, her lips began to quiver. “I want to stay with you guys,” she pleaded, in a tiny voice.

  “Please, Lily,” I urged. “You know how important it is that one of us gets out of here…to tell our story. So, you have to do this for us. You have to be our hero.”

  She nodded—tears falling down her cheeks.

  Then, slowly, she let go of Jude and moved away from us.

  * * * *

  Cherry, Jay, Jude, Peyton, and I were seated against the bars on the far side of the cage. Lily, meanwhile, began walking slowly forward—to the side of the cage closest to Sophia and Reena.

  “That’s right,” I told her. “Go right up to the bars, Lily.” I kept my voice low, afraid that the Protection Detail might hear. “Now position yourself right across from Sophia. And if she looks up at you, make sure that you wave.”

  “…okay.”

  Lily knelt down on the far side of the cage, rubbing at her tear-filled eyes. As she did, a rumble flowed through the girls in the stands.

  What is Lily doing? Why is she kneeling?

  “Please look up—please look up,” I chanted, under my breath.

  In the first row, Sophia turned a page of her bible. At the same time, she looked up in our direction.

  “Now, Lily!” I hissed. “Now!”

  Still kneeling—Lily bowed her head. Then—she put her hands together and began to pray.

  The agitated rumble from the stands grew louder.

  Lily is praying! Why is she even in that cage?

  Down on the first set of bleachers, I could see that Sophia and Reena were both watching Lily closely now.

  Meanwhile, Orla and Tray had finally arrived.

  They were both dressed in designer black and looked immaculate. As they stopped to talk to some of their friends in the stands, I reluctantly stood up.

  And began to tremble.

  Jude reached out and placed a comforting hand on my arm to steady me. “Do you want me to do it?”

  I shook her hand off and moved forward.

  One step, then another…straight toward Lily—a tiny, fragile 8-year old girl who was on her knees, praying.

  “Please forgive me,” I begged Lily, struggling not to cry. “Please, please forgive me for what I’m about to do.”

  Her head still bowed, I heard Lily say quietly. “It’s okay, Kaylee…I love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby,” I cried. “I’m so very sorry.”

  And then I ran for her—screaming!

  * * * *

  “You stupid bitch!” I screeched. “I have fracking had it with you and your damn prayers!”

  In front of me, the girls in the stands immediately went silent—obviously shocked and horrified—especially when I pulled Lily to her feet and hit her—hard!

  Lily’s head snapped back—her lip splitting open.

  She began to cry, her tears mingling with the blood running down her chin. Swinging her around, I tossed her small body to the other side of the cage. She fell to the ground and I lunged for her, kicking at her legs.

  Outside the cage, meanwhile, girls began yelling from the stands—crying out to Orla to—“Help Lily…get her out of there!!”

  Inside of the cage, I continued to scream at Lily. “I will kill you! Kill you!”

  On the ground, Lily curled her body up into a fetal position, trying to protect herself from my attack. She was sobbing now, calling out the one name that we had given her.

  “SOPHIA!!...SOPHIA!!...SOPHIA!!”

  Off to one side, I could sense Cherry and Jay holding Jude back.

  I didn’t want to look at them—was afraid of the murder I would see in Jude’s face. Instead, I reached down and pulled Lily up by the front of her dress. Lifting her off of the ground, I pushed her up against the cage.

  My face was inches away from hers, and I screamed in her terrified, tear-streaked face. “You were never a part of us, Lily! You were never! I hate you—you whiny, annoying little brat!”

  And I slapped her again…and again.

  “SOPHIA!!” Lily continued to sob, turning her face toward the bars.

  * * * *

  Then, suddenly—there she was!

  Sophia—in all her religious wrath and righteous fury.

  Even as the Protective Detail was racing forward, Sophia was reaching through the bars, scratching at my face.

  “You leave Lily alone!” she screamed at me. �
�You do not dare touch this innocent child, this gift from God!”

  I immediately fell back—dropping Lily as if burnt.

  Sophia, however, reached through the bars and grabbed Lily, pulling her close. “I am here, Lily…I am here!”

  From over near the stands, I suddenly heard Reena’s voice cry out. “Let Lily go!”

  Moments later—another girl’s voice joined in.

  “Let Lily go!”

  Then it was three voices—then four—then many. “Let Lily go...let Lily go!”

  On the far side of the cage, Lily continued to sob in Sophia’s arms—her face swollen and bleeding from my attack.

  Horrified by what I had done, I slowly backed up, until I was crushed against the opposite bars. Jay, Peyton, and Cherry immediately moved to stand in front of me—a barrier against the crowd’s fury.

  Meanwhile, Jude stood to one side, torn, shaking—wanting to go to Lily—knowing that she couldn’t.

  “Let Lily go…let Lily go!”

  Suddenly—SILENCE.

  It was Orla, holding up her hand. The girls in the stands turned toward her, waiting eagerly for her decision.

  Even Sophia stood up—although she continued to hold onto Lily.

  “Your call for mercy has not gone unnoticed,” Orla announced. Then, she turned toward our cage, pointed, and spoke loudly. “Let Lily go!”

  * * * *

  It was Tray who ultimately unlocked the cage door and pulled out Lily.

  Sophia immediately ran to her, enveloping Lily in her arms and leading her away. As they walked by the stands, the girls there cheered, congratulating both Sophia and her young charge.

  Moments later, both Sophia and Lily were gone—disappeared behind the bleachers.

  Suddenly—I sensed movement.