The Moment Keeper

by Buffy Andrews

  “What do you want?”

  Olivia looks down at the floor. She’s been thinking about this since she learned she was pregnant. Her mind’s been on overdrive. Giving the baby up for adoption is an option she’s considered, but she just can’t bring herself to do that. Still, she knows she needs help and wants Cole to go to school and would still like to go to school herself. Maybe be a dance teacher, open her own studio one day. So she tells her parents all of this and waits for their reaction.

  Tom looks at Elizabeth and she gives him a nod of approval. They’ve been together so long that she knows what he’s thinking and agrees with what he’s going to say.

  “If you let us, your mom and I will raise the baby. You’ll always be his or her mother, but we’ll help to provide a loving home, one that will allow you and Cole to continue your education. That is, if that’s OK with you and, of course, Cole.”

  Olivia’s eyes are as big and bright as headlights. Again, the words get tangled on her tongue and she can’t get them untangled enough to make them come out straight.

  “You don’t have to say anything now,” Tom says. “Course we’ll have to talk to Cole, too. And there’s something else I want you to know about. Something important I’ve been waiting your whole life to share with you. It’s about the day you were born.”

  Tom looks at Elizabeth and she leaves and returns with a plastic, brown storage bin. She pulls the leather hassock in front of the couch where Tom and Olivia sit and they join hands so that Olivia is holding both of her parents’ hands and Tom and Elizabeth are holding hands. A perfect triangle that will never be broken.

  Tom clears his throat. “A day hasn’t passed that I haven’t thought about the day you were born. It plays over and over in my mind, every detail etched in my brain forever. You see, Lib, I was there. I delivered you.”

  Olivia’s eyes pop. Never in a million years would she have guessed that her adoptive dad had actually delivered her.

  Elizabeth squeezes Olivia’s hand and a tear sneaks out of the corner of Elizabeth’s eye, slides down her cheek and slips into her mouth.

  “You know, Lib,” Tom says, “life can be crazy. Sometimes we’re put in a certain place at a certain time for a certain reason and we just don’t see the why right away. That’s what happened to me the day you were born. I had finished working at the hospital and decided to take the long way home, something I had never done before. I was always in a hurry to get home to your mom, but on this particular day, for some odd reason, I had an urge to take the longer route. On my way home, I saw an ambulance pull in front of an apartment building and I had this feeling that I should stop, see if I could help. But I ignored the thought because I wanted to get home to your mom. And just as I passed the ambulance, the car radio, which was turned off, screamed in my ears. The windshield wipers, also turned off, flicked as fast as they could. The four-way blinkers started to flash and the horn sounded. I’ve never been a real praying man, but I knew the guy upstairs was trying to get my attention. So I pulled over and ran as fast as I could up the street to where the ambulance was parked. I sprinted up the steps and entered the apartment a few steps behind the paramedics.”

  Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! This can’t be happening. This can’t be for real. I remember that day. This is my death. This is my moment. And Tom’s moment. And Olivia’s moment. I feel like I’m going to suffocate. I never saw this coming. Never. I knew there were three men, but I never got a good look at the guy standing behind the paramedics; he arrived a few seconds after the paramedics got there.

  I was in the bathroom, holding the gun I found in Gram’s closet, the one she never got around to getting rid of. I yelled for the paramedics to come into the bathroom and when they came around the corner and opened the door, I told them that I was pregnant, and to please save my baby. Then I pulled the trigger and thudded to the floor, sinking in a pool of blood.

  “So what happened?” Olivia asks, tears streaking her face once again.

  “Are you sure you want to hear this?” Tom asks.

  Olivia nods.

  “The girl called out that she was in the bathroom. When we got there, she said that she was pregnant. She asked us to save her baby. Then she shot herself and fell to the floor. I’ll never forget there was an Ace of Hearts lying in the pool of blood. I pushed through the paramedics, told them that I was a doctor and that I could perform a C-section. And I did. I got you out of your mother’s womb as quickly as I could. Your mother didn’t live long enough to hear your cry.”

  Tom and Elizabeth and Olivia are crying, no longer holding hands but hugging one another all at once.

  I can’t move. I can’t begin to explain what I’m feeling. To realize that the child I have been keeping moments for this entire time was my baby. To realize how close Olivia was to making the same mistake I had made but by the grace of God was saved by a loving and supportive family, the kind of family I had prayed my child would find. And I thank the matchmaker for assigning me to Olivia, for allowing me to be a part of her life and for giving me the peace I never had while living.

  I’m so overwhelmed that while I keep recording this moment I can’t help but remember all the others that preceded it. They wash over me, from the day Olivia was named to the day she gave herself to Cole. And then I notice, really notice, how much we look like one another. I hadn’t seen it before, probably because I wasn’t looking for it. And probably because I always envisioned that my baby was a boy and that he looked like Bryan. But now I see it so clearly that I don’t know why it took an earthquake of a revelation to shake some sense into me. The blonde hair, green eyes and dimples – just like me.

  “There’s more,” Elizabeth says. “Your dad found this.”

  Elizabeth opens the brown bin and takes out a white shoe box with a size seven sticker on the side. “For my baby” is printed in black marker on top.

  Olivia opens the box and takes out a letter – the letter I wrote. She reads it out loud.

  Baby,

  I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. I’m sorry that I won’t be here to watch you grow up. Too many bad things happened to me that I could never explain in a letter, but I want you to know that you were not one of them. I loved your father. He was the only man I ever loved. I hope that if all goes as I’ve planned, you will live and have a wonderful life and be raised by a family who loves and cares for you in ways I never would have been able to. I could never be the mother you deserve or give you the life that you deserve. I hope that someday you will be able to forgive me.

  Love, Mom

  Olivia closes her eyes and whispers, “I forgive you, Mom.”

  Olivia finds the heart pendant Bryan had given me and the Ace of Hearts Tom had retrieved from the pool of blood. Then she lifts out the black Bible and runs her thin fingers over my name embossed in gold on the front. “My mom’s name was Sarah,” Olivia sobs. She flips through the Bible and finds the red carnation tucked between pages at first Corinthians, chapter thirteen, verse thirteen. She reads the verse that I highlighted in pink so many years ago. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

  The last thing she finds is a faded fortune – wrinkled, torn and taped. She reads it out loud. “Your dreams will come true.”

  And for the first time in a long time, Olivia has hope that they will.

  I want to do something to show Olivia and Tom and Elizabeth that I’m there, so I focus on surrounding them in a blanket of warmth. I concentrate on wrapping them in my energy and hold it as long as I can.

  They glance in my direction all at once and I see their surprised looks and I know that they feel my presence. That they know that I’m there.

  “Do you see that?” Olivia asks. “That sort of glow over there.”

  Elizabeth and Tom don’t take their eyes off of where I stand. “Yeah,” they say in unison. “We see it.”

  And I know that it’s me they’re talking about. That it’s me they feel. That it’s
a moment they will never forget. And neither will I.

  Epilogue

  7 months later

  Cole bends down to tie his shoe and spots a dime heads up on the parking lot at the club. He picks it up and slips it into his pocket. They are going to dinner to celebrate Cole’s graduation and acceptance into the local university. The past seven months have been a tornado of action, from dealing with Cole’s pissed off parents — who refused to join them for dinner — to Olivia coming to terms with her future in dance.

  To be honest, the moments haven’t all been happy. Some have been extremely difficult and challenging. Others heartbreaking.

  There’s Cole’s acceptance that he doesn’t have his parents’ blessing and probably never will. They can’t get past their anger even though he’s going to college, just as they’d always hoped he would, to study medicine. He wants to be a doctor like Tom.

  Olivia has had to rethink her plans too, but she finally feels good about her new path. She plans to earn a bachelor of arts in dance education and hopes to open a dance studio one day. Both she and Tom can get their degrees locally while living with Olivia’s parents, who will help with the baby.

  Olivia’s year has been full of whispers behind her back, people pointing when they think she isn’t looking and judging her without knowing anything about the situation. But she’s been strong and has discovered that true friends, like Lexie, don’t abandon you.

  Tom and Elizabeth have spent the last seven months making plans, turning the spare bedroom into a beautiful nursery for the grandson they can’t wait to hold. Now, it’s a matter of waiting for that moment when the new little life will join theirs. And me, well, I’m recording the moments, more anxious than ever to meet my grandson for the first time.

  Cole wraps his arm around Olivia as they sit on the couch and touches her belly mountain with his other hand. “Think Zach will like playing baseball?”

  Olivia smiles. “Maybe he’ll be a dancer.”

  Cole squirms. “Uh, I’d rather have him play baseball. Or football.”

  Olivia jabs him with her elbow. “Hey. There are a lot of football players who take ballet in the off season. Helps them maintain their balance, strength and flexibility. So I wouldn’t knock it if I were you.”

  “Maybe, but…”

  “Uh!” Olivia sits up. “I felt something.”

  “Omigod! Is it time? Do you think it’s time?” Cole gets up.

  Olivia bends over. “Get Mom.”

  Cole finds Elizabeth and Tom sitting on the patio and when they return Olivia is in a fetal position on the floor and moaning.

  Tom examines Olivia while Elizabeth times the contractions.

  “I felt water trickle down my leg,” Olivia says.

  “Is she going to be all right?” Cole asks.

  “Get the bag, Cole. We’re going to the hospital.”

  I’ve never been so afraid for Olivia. I know she’s in a lot of pain because I feel it, too. I remember how my mother died giving birth to me and I pray that God will bring Olivia through childbirth and that her son will be healthy.

  “Can’t we just go through the red light if there’s no one at the intersection?” Cole asks. He’s sitting in the backseat with Olivia and she’s doubled over in pain. “If a cop stops us, we can just tell him we’re having a baby.”

  Tom glances back at Olivia, looks every way to make sure no cars are coming, then puts his four-way flashers on and speeds through the red light. When they get to the hospital, Olivia is whisked away and the moments come so fast I have to really focus on capturing them and not getting distracted.

  “When I say ‘push’, Olivia, push,” the doctor says.

  Elizabeth is on one side of Olivia and Cole is on the other.

  Tears stream down Cole’s face. “I’m so sorry, Lib. So sorry I put you through this.”

  Olivia looks at him and manages a smile. “Go ahead. Watch your son being born.”

  Cole kisses her hand and goes down to the end of the bed.

  “Now, push!” the doctor says.

  “I see his head, Lib. He’s almost here,” Cole says.

  Elizabeth squeezes Olivia’s hand and I send all the energy I can, wrapping them in love and warmth.

  “Push,” the doctor says again. “Just one more big push and that’s all we need.”

  Olivia bears down and pushes as hard as she can and a beautiful bloody body with ten fingers and toes — none of them webbed — slides out into the doctor’s waiting arms.

  “Is he all right?” Olivia cries.

  “He’s perfect, Lib,” says Cole as he cuts the umbilical cord.

  It’s then that I notice the strawberry-blond hair glued to his tiny head and I wonder.

  I feel him before I see him. Bryan’s beside the baby, looking down. A loving warmth radiates from his moment-keeper body. And I know that he didn’t abandon me. That there was no way for him to reach me – until now.

  CARINA™

  ISBN: 978 1 472 05477 7

  THE MOMENT KEEPER

  Copyright © Buffy Andrews 2013

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