Dubious

by Charmaine Pauls

  It’s almost eleven before the headlights of a car illuminates the gates. It can be Magda, returning from her dinner party. Relief washes over me when the Jaguar pulls up to the door. A haggard-looking Gabriel gets out and limps around the car to help Carly from the passenger side. With his arm around her shoulders, he leads her up the steps.

  I rush to meet them in the entrance. “Carly! Are you all right?”

  “She will be,” Gabriel says, moving past me.

  “I kept the dinner warm.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Carly says.

  “You need your strength, honey. Bring it up to Carly’s room.”

  He doesn’t spare me a glance as they make their way upstairs. I prepare a tray and knock on Carly’s door before I enter.

  Gabriel sits in a chair next to the bed, Carly’s hand clasped in his. He turns his scars away from me. “Leave it on the table. We’ll serve ourselves.”

  I obey and escape to the false safety of my room. I’m petrified Gabriel won’t believe me, but even more terrified that my mistake will cost Charlie’s life. ‘One wrong move,’ Magda said. I don’t get why Carly would do something like this.

  For another hour, nothing happens. Eventually, my tiredness wins over my anxiety. I have a quick shower and get into bed.

  * * *

  Gabriel

  In the solitude of my study, I sit down at my desk to contemplate my options. It’s a difficult decision. I watched a playback of the security feed from the cameras in the kitchen. Carly’s voice was clear when she asked for a cake with coconut. Valentina told the truth. With a sigh I feel all the way to my bones, I pour a shot of whisky and down it in one go.

  I don’t understand my daughter. I failed her. There’s a gorge so wide between us I’m afraid I’ll never bridge it. When the crack started, I can’t say. Was it during Carly’s toddler years, when I was always absent from home, the family business taking up my days and nights? Is it because Sylvia and I couldn’t make things work? If I can pinpoint when it started, maybe I’ll find the reason. Carly and I both know there’s a problem. We don’t acknowledge it, because it’s easier to skip the drama. If I believed Carly has a better relationship with her mother, I’d encourage her to stay with Sylvia, but she’s old enough to choose, and the fact that she lives here tells me enough.

  Despite being scum, I try to be fair. It’s the only shred of humanity that stands between the man and the monster, but in my business, fair only applies to family. Putting any staff member above family, right or wrong, won’t be tolerated. Such an act could get said staff member killed. Innocent or not, actions have consequences, and Valentina can’t escape taking responsibility for hers. Sylvia expects me to inflict suitable retribution. She’s not going to forget or let it go. If I don’t do it before Magda comes home, Valentina will die for what happened tonight. I don’t feel like punishing Valentina for something Carly should pay for, but I don’t have a choice.

  I refill my glass and shoot back another shot before I pick up my phone and dial Rhett. “Come to my study,” I say when he answers.

  The fact that something ignites in me, making me hard, when I think about what I’m about to do is proof of how far gone I am. It could be that the alcohol is fuel on my rusty inhibitions. Maybe it’s heredity, and it’s in my genes. I’m not a made monster. I was born one.

  The door opens, and Rhett enters. “You called for me, boss?”

  “Take Valentina to the gym.”

  The twitch that wrings his lips into a smile makes me want to break his nose. I add it to the mistake he made of shooting the dog. Deep down, I know it’s not Rhett’s fault. He never expected me to let the Haynes’ live. He did what he believed was right, but he caused Valentina suffering, and he’ll have to pay. Lucky for him, he leaves without question. I could do with another drink, but I won’t risk it. I have to be sober. I’ll need utter control.

  The house is dark and quiet as I make my way downstairs to the basement. It’s a windowless room where my guards and I work out, but it also serves as interrogation room when the need arises. For this reason, it’s soundproof. Carly can never know what happens in the depths of the house when she’s fast asleep upstairs.

  5

  Gabriel

  I flick on the lights and walk around the room, trying to still the upsurge of regret that’s not powerful enough to wash out my excitement. The exercise mat absorbs my steps, not giving sound to the unequal harshness of my soles.

  Regret makes me weak. Excitement makes me cruel. Anger makes me dangerous. I assess my state carefully. Anger is not part of my repertoire tonight. That’s a good thing, or I wouldn’t be able to do this. It would be much too hazardous.

  Rhett enters the room with Valentina, his hand folded around her upper arm. She’s wearing her nightgown, which exposes her toned legs. Rhett’s fingers leave white indents on her skin. It shakes up all kinds of sentiments in me, but they’re like shredded pieces of paper. I can’t make sense of anything, except that I want to chop off his hand and poke out his eyes.

  With a flick of my head, I direct him to the back wall. He knows what to do. Her eyes hold mine as he drags her past. The quiet kind of anger I often recognize in myself makes the brown of her irises sizzle with sparks. Within seconds, Valentina is strung up by her arms on a rope knotted to her tied wrists, facing the wall.

  “Go,” I say to Rhett.

  He gives me a questioning look. The surprise and disappointment on his face threaten to unleash my rage. I’ve never dismissed him when punishment or interrogations are executed, but this isn’t a goddamn show for his entertainment. Rhett knows me well enough to read the signs. With a last, confused glance in Valentina’s direction, he walks from the room, shutting the door behind him.

  When there are just the two of us, I breathe easier. The violence dissipates. It becomes something different, something that turns my already erect cock into a raging hard steel rod. I adjust the rope, stretching it gently through the eye in the ceiling until she’s barely touching the mat with her toes, and secure the cord to the hook on the wall. I don’t want her to struggle or move. It’s safer this way.

  She peeks at me from over her shoulder, her eyes big and her cheeks pale. “What are you doing?”

  It’s not an easy question. There are many layers to it. I unbutton first one, then the other shirt cuff, rolling the sleeves back as I contemplate the answer. I don’t lie if I can prevent it. I decide to give her the simple truth.

  “Punishment, Valentina.” I let her name roll over my tongue, loving the sound of it. Such a pretty name. Valens. Strong. It suits her.

  She twists in her constraints. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

  I reach up from behind, grabbing her arms to still her. “I know.”

  She stops struggling, and her body freezes. “Then why are you doing it?”

  I sweep her silky hair over her shoulder and brush my lips down the curve of her neck. “Because I get off on this.” Another layer of truth.

  A sob tears from her throat. “Please.”

  My cock twitches. There’s begging in that word, but also acceptance. She knows there’s no turning back. Even if there weren’t Sylvia’s expectations or my mother’s threat, I can’t stop myself. Not anymore.

  I kiss the shell of her ear.

  “Gabriel…”

  She should call me sir or Mr. Louw, but the sound of my name on her lips is a treat I’m not going to deny myself. Already battling to carry her weight, she tips back. I catch her around her waist. My hands dip under the hem of her nightgown, gliding up her soft thighs. Hooking my thumbs into the elastic of her underwear, I pull it down over her hips and calves, leaving it around her ankles.

  She shivers under my palms, but wisely doesn’t speak. There’s nothing she can say to stop this. When I step away, her body sways backward. Like a ballerina, she dances on her toes to regain her balance. A cry leaves her lips when I grip the collar of the nightgown and rip it down the middle. The fabric han
gs loosely down her body, giving me a glimpse of her smooth back and the curve of her ass, but I’m greedy. To save time, I use one of the combat knives from the weapon counter, cutting open the arms to free her from the constraining clothing.

  I step back to admire the view. Fucking hell. Restrained, with only her panties around her ankles, she’s an erotic image that will haunt my dreams. Her frame is a flowing portrait of S-lines, from the slender curve of her neck to the sides of her plump breasts and the narrow diameter of her waist to the swell of her hips and the rise of her firm ass. My eyes follow the trail of her legs from her quivering thighs to the dip of her knees and from the gentle expand of her calves to where they taper to her delicate ankles. My fingers ache to bury themselves in the cheeks of her buttocks and in the warm, wet depth of her cunt. I expel those thoughts almost violently, knowing I can’t enter her there. For now, I’m content to have her naked and bound, and if I’m honest, I’ll admit this isn’t about retribution or proving to my mother I’m not weak. This isn’t even about saving Valentina’s life. This is all for me.

  I cup her breasts from behind and search the soft sweetness of her skin, dragging my lips down the elegant curve of her neck. “If I don’t do this, Magda will kill you.”

  She turns her head to the side, away from my caress and voice.

  So be it. She won’t defy me much longer. I can never have my fill of looking at her like this, but her arms can only hold her weight so much longer before I risk tearing them from their sockets. I shake my fingers to loosen them and breathe in and out a couple of times to find my control. It’ll be easy to go over the edge with her. Too easy. There’s something about her that shatters every ounce of willpower I possess, a new experience I’m not sure I like.

  I loosen my buckle and pull the belt from the loops of my waistband. Only then does she look at me again. Finally, she understands my intention. Her eyes grow large, and her lips part.

  “Eyes in front.” I don’t mind seeing her tears or hate, but I don’t want her to see the lust in mine, the darkness that makes me the monster.

  Stepping so close I can smell the raspberry fragrance of her skin, I smooth my hand over her ass. When she clenches her muscles, my cock pushes painfully against my zipper. I knead her ass cheeks, playing with the firm softness of her flesh. Parting them, I can glimpse the pretty pucker of her ass. I draw a finger down her crack, teasing the dark entrance before running the tip down to test her pussy. She’s dry. Good. I love the challenge.

  I take a step away, widen my feet and find my stance. Drawing my arm back, I practice careful control with my strength, letting the leather collide with her ass hard enough to sting, but not forceful enough to bruise.

  Whack.

  The red line that welts over her golden skin makes my cock twitch. A drop of pre-cum heats the tip of my shaft.

  Whack.

  She cries out softly and jerks in her restraints. She’s holding back.

  Whack.

  “Let me hear you, Valentina.”

  Fire simmers with tears in her brown eyes as she glances back at me. “Fuck you.”

  “Very well.”

  The next lash falls over her thighs, just under the curve of her ass. She squirms and whimpers, grinding her teeth so hard I can hear it. The next smack is gentler, aimed higher to heat her pussy.

  Her cry comes involuntarily. She tenses up as the sound escapes. I let the lashes go higher, leaving a crisscross pattern over her back and shoulders. Allowing the tip of the leather to fold around the sides of her breasts, I keep well away from her nipples. My lashes are not hard enough to draw blood or break skin, but before long she’s grappling for air, moving as far away as the position allows, which isn’t much. I let the belt curl around her waist, letting her feel the bite on her stomach, and move back down to her ass and thighs.

  I give her a break to catch her breath, using the time to free her underwear, spread her legs, and tie each ankle to a cuff on a chain extending from the wall. She can move her legs forward or backward, but she can’t close them.

  I walk around to face her. Grabbing her jaw, I kiss her hard. She’s crying into my mouth, her lips defenseless as I sweep my tongue over hers, devouring her like a starving man. Forcing myself to pull away, I steal a last, chaste kiss before taking my place behind her again.

  “Ready?”

  I test my strength by swinging the leather under the curve of her ass. When her golden skin is left unmarred, I twist the belt one more time around my hand, leaving a shorter bit at the end, and let a succession of soft but fast swats rain between her legs, aiming the leather to heat both her labia and clit. She fights it at first, flinging her head back, and pushing her breasts forward.

  “Let me hear you.”

  I don’t stop until she finally breaks for me with a scream. The breath she’s been holding escapes, allowing her shoulders to rise and fall with violent sobs. At her surrender, I cast the belt aside and grab her to my body.

  I want her. I want her so fucking bad I can’t think. For all of my intentions to be gentle, I can’t help the rough way my fingers feel between her legs. A groan is trapped in my chest when I find her wet. I need to be inside her. Now.

  My hands shake as I undo my pants and let them fall to my ankles to free my cock. My shaft aches with need, the root pulsing as I grab it in my fist and guide it to Valentina’s wet pussy. Bending my knees, I spear through her thighs and drag the head of my cock through her folds. I shiver in anticipation as her moisture slickens me, and the heat emanating from her core invites me deeper. Driven by primal hunger, I place the sensitive head against her opening. My only instinct is to impale her, to take her as deep as I can, but it’s her frightened whimper that pulls me back from my dark lust.

  Barely holding onto reason, I coat my dick in more of her arousal before slipping free from between her legs. I’m too far gone to back off completely, and as much for my sanity as her chastity, I carefully open her ass cheeks, and wedge my slick cock between them.

  “Please,” she begs, arching her back away from me.

  My voice is guttural. I don’t recognize the sound. “Relax. I won’t fuck you.”

  She stills at that, but only until I start gliding up and down, folding her ass cheeks around my cock with my palms. I have to push her body against the wall in front for leverage. When I move faster, she starts squirming in all earnest, twisting to the left and right.

  “Keep still,” I hiss, “or I’ll accidently penetrate your asshole.”

  Again, she goes slack, allowing me to find my release by grinding my cock up and down the crack of her welted ass. I find her breasts and hold her to me as I come, shooting my seed up her spine, the hotness of my release dripping down between our bodies. When there’s nothing left to give, I let go, stumbling back a step to look at her. She’s marked with the imprint of my belt, and my sperm running between her ass cheeks over her pussy and down her thighs. Intense satisfaction surges inside of me, overriding even the physical high of ejaculating on her skin. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen, and that fucking scares me.

  Coming to my senses, I pull up my pants and unlock the cuffs around her ankles. I loosen the rope from the hook on the wall, releasing her arms. Valentina falls backward, but before she hits the floor, I catch her around the waist and use the same knife I used to cut off her clothes to cut through the rope around her wrists. She’s crying and shaking, her body limp in my arms. I use her nightgown to wipe her back and between her legs, getting rid of most of the semen, and then I pick her up in my arms and carry her to her room.

  Placing her inside the bath, I run a cool shower and sponge her down. She doesn’t object to anything. Her pretty eyes are closed, but tears are leaking from under her long lashes, and I have to look away. I find them way too appealing. She’s like a ragdoll in my arms when I towel her dry, taking care not to press on the marks of my belt. They’ll be gone in a day, but she’ll hate me much longer. No marks will be left on her body, but not
everyone carries their scars on the outside.

  I put her to bed on her stomach, naked, and don’t pull the sheet over her. She’ll want nothing to touch her skin for a while. Going down on my knees between her legs, I make her come with my mouth until she begs me to stop. Through her begging, I wring one more orgasm from her before I’m satisfied. Then I get onto the bed next to her and pull her onto my chest so that she’s stretched out on top of me. I kiss her head and stroke her hair, holding her until her breathing takes on the even rhythm of sleep.

  It’s after midnight. Magda will be home any minute. Valentina doesn’t wake up when I ease out from under her. Looking down at her slender back marred with red welts, I’m filled with the devastating affirmation that I can’t play with a perfect, new toy without breaking it.

  * * *

  I wait in my study for Magda to return. I prefer to relay tonight’s events to her myself, before she hears the news from Sylvia or Carly. I can still taste Valentina on my lips. Her arousal is a powerful aphrodisiac that twists my balls into rock hard knots and feeds my lust. There’s peace in knowing I own her pleasure and discord in not being able to take her. Until she’s no longer a virgin, I can’t bury my cock in her soft body, and I want nothing more than to train her to come with my dick until she gets wet from the mere sight of me. It takes everything I have not to go back to her room and fuck her raw. I drag my tongue over my bottom lip. Savoring Valentina’s womanly scent one last time, I pour a drink and down the liquor, drowning the perfume of her skin in alcohol.

  Magda is pissed as hell when I give her a brief summary of how the night turned out. It’s when I assure her Valentina’s been punished, and she watches the video feed of Carly asking for a coconut cake that she calms.

  “You have work with Carly,” she says. “That girl has issues.”

  “I know.” I rub my eyes.

  “Do something about it, before it becomes a disaster we can’t fix.” She walks from my study without saying goodnight.