Fractured & Formidable: The Sacred Hearts MC Book V

by Downey, A. J.

  I’d been in my early, twenties. Young, dumb and pissed off at the whole fucking world. A high school buddy of mine had stumbled into the area’s illegal fighting world. He’d got dollar signs in his eyes and me, I was all about a good fight. Wrestling team all-star in three counties, state champion in my class two years running in High School. After I’d managed to graduate I’d had little or nothing to keep me grounded so it hadn’t taken a fuck of a lot to talk me into doing it.

  I’d risen in the ranks pretty quickly and gotten the reputation of being pretty hard core. I’d started at the bottom rung and won a couple of fights by pure happy accident and brute strength alone. That’s how Unkind had spotted me. He was the old Sergeant at Arms for The Sacred Hearts. I didn’t want much to do with the club, but Unkind, well, he was an all right dude. He’d offered to train me, which I’d pretty much had thought I was hot shit and spit on that. He’d whooped my fucking ass and that had changed my mind in a big damned hurry.

  Dude was as his name implied. A surly, nasty, bastard that didn’t do nice. After he’d whooped my ass, he’d then whooped my as into shape. Hard workouts was just the beginning. Unkind taught me the meaning of discipline, taught me what it was to fucking focus all that hate and rage burning me up inside. I was pretty much unstoppable after that. I went on like that for a few years. That’s how I met Trig, it was Trigger, a prospect at the time who convinced me that there was more out there to blow my money on than nameless, faceless pussy and tying one on every night of the week. I’d mostly been spending my money on my car, and alcohol and keeping a roof over my head up to that point. I was twenty-three when Trigger showed up.

  It’d turned out the both of us had a talent for drawing. I’d started apprenticing for a tattoo place right out of high school. My dad’s place actually, and when I caught Trig drawing and shading on a napkin I asked him if he’d ever thought about tattooing. He helped me and I helped him. I was pretty fucking devastated when Unkind caught a bullet the same time Dragon’s Ol’ Lady Tilly did.

  I crawled into a fucking bottle and stayed there for weeks. Trigger stuck with me, and helped me crawl back out and rejoin the land of the living. It was about time that I grew the fuck up and stopped playing at life and started actually living it, putting my mind towards something. My pops kicked it around two years before Unkind was murdered, at least that son of a bitch had taught me some kind of useful skill that I could live straight with before he went.

  After Unkind, Tilly, and Rascal, the club had been in shambles. I was just a friend and affiliate up to that point and then I got too busy trying to build my business with Trig. We opened up shop when Dragon decided to go legit.

  Trig had convinced Big D that fronting the money for our own tattoo place was as good a place as any to start down the road of getting out of gun running. By then, Trig had been voted in as the new Sgt. at Arms and me? I was suddenly busy as fuck getting the shop up off the ground. Too busy to prospect just then, even though I’d been meaning to do it. It just took everything I had to make Open Road Ink a raging success along with Trig. And Trig? Well he had been double timing it. Building ORI up right along with me while at the same time rebuilding the MC with Dragon, Doc and Reave in a legit direction, butting heads with Dray all along the way.

  Now all of that hard work was threatened. Hell, past threatened. The shop was nothing but a pile of wreckage and the club and everybody in it was in danger and I would be damned if I was going to watch both go down the drain because of these fucking cock suckers. I’d put a lot of shit on hold in order to reach my goals and it felt like the wheel hand turned and come full circle and I was sitting here marginally more successful but at the same time… right back where I’d started.

  I growled inwardly and with a scowl jerked my wheel to the left, powering up the drive and into the club’s lot. I backed into a stall and shut her off. I’d never minded getting my fucking hands dirty to get shit accomplished before and I really didn’t mind doing it now. Not for me, not for Trig, not for Dis and not for my club which had shown me throughout these long years what real family was supposed to be. Still, I wanted something more for myself. I wanted Red, and if I was going to be starting a bunch of shit over? Well then I was going to do it better than before, and that included having a good woman by my side that would be my partner in crime, not just a convenient piece of pussy to nail at my leisure. I had my sights set squarely on Red for the position. She’d aced the interview with one look from those autumn colored eyes of hers.

  “You know it’s not your fault,” Disney said over the roof of my car.

  I looked across and up at the tall as fuck, lanky kid. I’d almost forgotten he was with me, chasing thoughts one after the other like I’d been. I shook my head as much to disagree with him as to clear it. It’d stopped raining and was just a fine misting drizzle now.

  “I sent you over there,” I said, coming to grips with the conversation that’d been initiated.

  “You had no way of knowing man, and I’m fine. Trust me, you letting my ass move in has more than made up for it.” He grinned at me. I shrugged back into my cut and hunched my shoulders, making for the club house door. He opened it and I stopped.

  “It’s great that you forgive me, but Dis, I still ain’t forgiven myself man. I don’t know if and when I’m gonna. It was a shit thing I did sending you in there.” I looked up at the faded bruising on his face in the watery parking lot light and he smiled, a sad and ghostly thing.

  “Fair enough man,” he said and we went in to the much warmer and drier club.

  I immediately scanned the dim interior for the bright copper curls that had been on my mind daily since the day I first saw her. I felt a surge of disappointment when I saw nothing. She didn’t come around the club very often, if at all, but still, just because she wasn’t in the main common room didn’t mean she wasn’t here. Where Everett was, that’s where Red would be, and I didn’t see Evy out here.

  “I’ll catch you later,” I said and gripped Disney by his narrow shoulders, giving him an easy shake.

  He went a little off balance and nodded absently, finding his feet. I let him go and went for the back, for the new media room, where the girls liked to hang out. The club’s meeting that had been called was going to start in about a half hour, so I was pretty sure the girls were going to be settling in back where the heavy wooden doors could be closed and we could be sure they couldn’t hear a damned thing. It was even darker in the large room made for watching the big screen TV. I let my eyes adjust and swept my gaze across the seated girls and women looking for my Red.

  “Hey,” Trig said from where he lazed on the huge couch. Ashton was artfully draped across my big friend’s chest, her long and straight auburn hair tucked behind her ears. She faced the television but her dark lashes rested against the pale skin beneath her eyes, which when open were golden like the sun. She looked angelic and so peaceful. When I’d first seen her, I thought she was so beautiful in an ethereal sort of way. I’d had some empty space on my arm just waiting for the right face to complete an angel on my right side and as soon as I laid eyes on her I knew it was meant for hers.

  The deep bass of my friend’s greeting caused her eyes to flick open. She sucked in a tremulous breath and glanced sideways. She smiled sweetly when she saw me and it made me smile too. I reached out a hand and she took it with the hand that she didn’t have trapped between her and Trig.

  “Hey man, hey Sunshine,” I kissed the back of her hand, “What’re you guys up to?”

  “Mm, relaxing before I have to let him go,” she murmured. Trigger chuckled.

  “Only for a little bit,” he chided.

  “I know, I still miss you even when you’re only two doors away,” she said. She looked exhausted, which given the amount of time and frustration she’d been expending in my garage, trying to slog through years of water logged and half crisped paperwork to reconstruct ORI’s books. Books that hadn’t made it out because the computer had burned… Shit! W
ho could really blame her for being so wrung out? Trig and I exchanged knowing looks. We needed to get his Sunshine girl some help.

  “Up you go baby. Come hang with us ‘til you can’t,” Trig said and sat up with Ashton in his arms. She giggled and finished getting up off of him on her own. We went out front and they grabbed a spot at Reaver and Hayden’s table.

  “Be right there. Grab me a water,” I told Trig.

  I hit the head and when I came back out, Sunshine and Doll were laughing at something Reaver said. I plucked the waiting bottle of water off the table, cracked the seal and downed it in three gulps. I crushed the bottle between my hands and screwed the lid back on setting it back on the table. Hayden and Ashton both gave me wide eyed looks.

  “What?” I asked. They burst into a fit of giggles and I grinned.

  “It’s impressive no matter how many times you see it,” Everett said and Dray pulled out a chair for her. She smiled and leaned over to kiss him, which he returned enthusiastically. She sat down, missing it when he shook his head behind her in that way that said, God damn I scored and I fucking know it! Reaver and Trig broke out into grins to match my own. Yeah he had. Everett was both a looker and had a good head on her shoulders, that and she’d brought Red into my life.

  “You want your usual Babe?” he asked her. Everett nodded but she was looking at me. I looked back. Dray smirked at me like I was in for it and stalked off in the direction of the bar, stopping to talk to a member on his way and I saw it for what it was... Ambush.

  Since when did the VP of this club get his own drink, let alone a drink for his Ol’ Lady? Usually it was Everett bringing him a beer or whatever with that sexy as hell walk of hers, sashaying that tight ass through the tables. Well, all right, might as well cut to the fucking chase, only one thing this could be about.

  “No Red?” I asked mock innocently.

  “Mm-mm.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me and disapproval radiated off her, couldn’t really say I blamed her. She protected that girl like a mama tiger protected her cub.

  “Why?” she asked and her tone was icy at best.

  I shrugged a shoulder noncommittally. Everett rolled her eyes and shook her head.

  “You know, I would much rather see my best friend get involved with a guy who was serious about her,” she blurted. I leaned back in my seat, tipping the two front legs off the floor. Trigger, Ashton, Reaver and Hayden all sort of rose as one.

  “On that note!” Reaver crowed, and Trigger clapped me on the shoulder.

  “Later Partner, good luck.” he said and both men ushered their women away from the potential conflagration about to erupt at our table. I ignored them, my eyes square on the pissed off woman across from me.

  “Oh I’m serious, Irish. Serious as a fuckin’ heart attack,” I said, which ironically was what my pops and I think hers had both died from. I winced on the inside at my poor choice of words, but didn’t let it show or back down. Everett crossed her arms and I couldn’t tell if it was to hold the anger or the hurt in. Yeah, low blow, unintentional as it may have been.

  Her tone, when she said the next, told me all it needed to, I’d indeed hit her where it hurt.

  She said to me, “You hung around for a minute, I’ll grant you, but then what? You stood her up. Not a call, didn’t even give her the time of day. You hurt her feelings Zander, she thinks you pretended to be interested in her to get on Dray’s good side since he was your mentor.” Everett’s face crumbled into lines of sadness for her friend and I fought down a surge of fury. Touché. One low blow for another. I sighed and stopped the verbal sparring match in its place.

  “You know that’s bullshit,” I told her flatly, and she nodded, the simple gesture saying clearly, yes, yes it was.

  “I know, I get that now, but Mandy doesn’t know, and that’s really all that matters isn’t it?”

  She had me there and with that, truce had been declared. No clear winner when it came to this match, unless you counted Red.

  “Prospecting ain’t no joke, I couldn’t start anything with her; not when I wasn’t ever going to be a-fucking-round,” I said and winced inwardly at what a whiney defensive cunt I sounded like.

  “And now?” Everett asked pointedly.

  “Now my damned shop’s been blowed the fuck up, and I’m stuck between wondering if I should try, and if I should leave her alone for her own damned good,” I said truthfully.

  It was something that had been weighing on my mind but at the same time, I was definitely leaning towards trying. I was pretty damned sure this interrogation was stemming from me asking Dray if Red was still single while we were hauling shit out of the burned out shell of Open Road Ink week before last. Everett searched my face, carefully looking me over. Whatever she saw there must have satisfied her because she nodded carefully, more to herself than at me I think.

  “You embarrassed her,” she said almost too softly to hear, “When you didn’t return her calls, and now you’re asking Dray if she’s single? What is that? It’s been over a year.” I nodded, everything she was saying was absolutely correct.

  “Sounds shitty and sounds lame, but I was busy with prospecting, and you guys were busy with the shop and now, well now I’m completely out of fuckin’ excuses.” I tipped my chair forward with a hard bang. Everett wasn’t phased in the slightest. She stared me down, willing me to say more but I had nothin’.

  Well nothin’ except, “So is she single?”

  Everett let out an exasperated breath and told me exactly what Dray had told me.

  “Yes,” then added something I really didn’t want to hear, “But you have some competition. I think some of the guys coming around this last week on your little protection detail,” she rolled her eyes at that and I crooked a half grin, “are sweet on her. Which, who can blame them?” she raised her eyebrows.

  Dig the knife a little deeper why don’t you Sweetheart? I thought to myself. I sighed and leaned my forearms on my knees and contemplated her.

  “Okay, Sister. What’s your end game? Why we talking about this?” I asked. She let out a breath and sighed and threw up her hands. Her gaze, hard as steel and the color to match, pinned me to my seat.

  “I see the way you look at her when she’s around and she’s not looking. It’s the same way Dray looks at me when I am. Why do you hide it from her?” she asked and she was genuinely curious.

  “Because I didn’t want to get her hopes up when I was so fucking balls to the wall busy with the club. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings,” I swore under my breath and kicked my anger at myself back down into the deep dark hole it crawled out of.

  “Mission fucking accomplished,” I groused, my tone dripping with caustic sarcasm.

  “Well, she’s pretty well had it with waiting around and the shop is pretty well in order once we get the numbers side of things handled…” She contemplated me for like a full minute.

  “I’m not going to help you,” she said and I felt myself deflate a little on the inside but damned if I’d show it.

  “Nor am I going to dissuade you from trying,” I guess I could be grateful for that at least. She pressed on, “Just know, I am, and always will be on Mandy’s side,” she motherfucking smirked, “If she calls you a son of a bitch, then you’re a sorry S.O.B. you get me?” she asked and I couldn’t help it, I smiled. It was so something Dray would say… ‘You get me?’ He was rubbing off on her just as much as she was rubbing off on him.

  Something flitted across Everett’s face, something undefinable that wiped the smile off my own. It looked like a flicker of concern with a chaser of fear and I wanted to know just what that look was for where my Red was concerned but just as soon as I opened my mouth to ask, Dray was back and setting shots down on the table.

  “No thanks man, I’m training, remember?” Dray looked at me and a flicker of dark humor slid through his equally dark eyes. He seized on the opportunity.

  “The fuck says I brought one for you?” he asked and downed first
one shot and the second in rapid succession. I smiled and laughed.

  “My bad man, my bad.” I stood up and looked down into Everett’s lovely face and tried to communicate with my own expression that I wanted to do right by Mandy and fix whatever was busted. Maybe even break something of my own, whatever had Everett scared for Red was a good start.

  “I get you,” I told her and she nodded carefully and looked relieved.

  I had a pretty full week this week, what with Trig and I finalizing shit with the insurance company, as well as staying on a regimented training schedule. I was actually pretty amped about returning to the fighting circuit but I swore I would make time for my Red in the middle of this cluster fuck too. It sounded like if I didn’t, that I had the potential to lose her all together and I wasn’t about to do that.

  “I’m glad that you do,” Everett said softly and raised her glass before downing the shot and something told me that something had happened. Something was really bothering her where my Red was concerned, which made me instantly redouble my efforts to get to and get Red talking to me. This shit, this fucking hardcore attraction between me and her had waited long enough, which was no one’s fault but my damn own.

  Chapter 2

  Mandy…

  “Mornin’ Mandy-girl!” Zeb called from the kitchen doorway. I looked up and smiled at the New Zealander.

  “Good morning!” I called back. He was sweet and had been telling me all about his home country which sounded green and lush and beyond beautiful. I had made the mistake when we’d first met of asking if he was Australian. He’d frowned at me hard and harder before saying with distinction that no, he did not indeed herald from “that country full of Gormless Bastards” which had left me blinking stupidly at him. He’d grinned after he’d said it and then informed me that he was something called a Kiwi which had left me blinking even more stupidly.

  Zeb had laughed and then had begun to fill me in on all things New Zealand and we’d pretty much made fast friends after that. It was almost easy to forget why he was here, that he wasn’t just a new and usual customer, but that he was a member of The Sacred Hearts and here to protect mine and Evy’s business because of some faceless, at least to me, threat called The Suicide Kings.