Fractured & Formidable: The Sacred Hearts MC Book V

by Downey, A. J.

  “Move in a minute, Sugar, just give me a second,” he panted.

  “No rush,” I said gently, voice husky from my cries, “I like this.”

  He pressed his lips against my shoulder in a reverent kiss that made me smile.

  “We are definitely doing that again and soon. Christ woman!” he propped himself up on his brightly colored arm depicting all the scenes of Hell, and I looked down between us. Zander grimaced and tipped my chin up, capturing my eyes with his.

  “No don’t look,” he said.

  “Why not?”

  “There’s a decent amount of blood, Baby,” I nodded.

  “Um, it was my first time. Isn’t that normal?” he smiled.

  “Speaking of your first time, c’mon, up you go! You gotta go pee,” I laughed and raised my eyebrows incredulous.

  “Wait, what!?”

  “I’m serious, come on Sugar, let’s get you cleaned up,” he plucked his briefs off the floor and tugged them on and I managed not to grimace, he was right, there was definitely blood. He grinned at me.

  “How did we go from amazing first time sex, to I need to pee?” I frowned and Zander laughed.

  “It’s a girl thing, figure no one told you,” he shrugged, “Either pee right after sex or run the risk of a real nasty UTI,” my mouth dropped open and I made an incredulous sound.

  “And just how do you know that Dr. Zander?” I asked amused. He opened the closet and held out a robe for me to shrug into, but not before he wiped the worst of the mess off with his discarded black shirt which he then pitched into a laundry bag in the closet.

  Zander had the grace to look embarrassed, but he was honest with me, “Was your first time Baby, but not mine. Not by far and aside from loving you, I’ve fucked some real classless chicks,” he shrugged, “I’ve also fucked some real honest ones.” I swallowed and nodded. I didn’t really want to think about him with anyone else but Zander was a gorgeous man, it would be silly to think he was… inexperienced. I peeked into the hall and followed him quietly into the bathroom, he shut the door behind us and locked it.

  “You are too fucking cute,” he said with a laugh.

  “Why!?” I asked grinning.

  “Sugar, nobody cares that you just had sex,” he said shaking his head. He took the robe from me, it was gray and warm and made out of this sweatshirt material. It had a hood on it and looked like something a boxer would wear and with his wide breadth of shoulders I simply swam in it.

  “Besides that, with how you came, I’m pretty sure everyone already knows.”

  I felt myself color and he pulled me tight against him laughing. He kissed my throat and smacked me on the ass which made me give an indignant yip.

  He started the shower and got in saying, “Go pee and get in here,” before snapping the black shower curtain closed. I did what he asked and was surprised that I didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable about it. I mean, it was kind of hard to feel embarrassed when we’d just done what we’d done right? I slipped into the tub behind him and he grinned at me, the water cascading over his shoulder and down his chest.

  I reached out and traced a line of black flowing script with curious fingers. It was tattooed along his ribs beside the arm covered in demons and hellfire.

  “What does it say?” I asked softly. I couldn’t read it with him moving as he was. He stilled and turned so I could read it. “Through me you go into a city of weeping; through me you go into eternal pain; through me you go amongst the lost people.” I murmured aloud. I looked at him.

  “It’s Dante,” he said with a shrug.

  “Why this particular line? Why here?” I asked tracing the small, delicate script with my finger.

  “I’m a southpaw, you know what that means?” I gave him a blank look and shook my head. “It’s a boxing term, means I’m left hand dominant,” he sniffed and turned me under the shower spray which ran hot and delicious down my back.

  “Okay…” I said slowly, not quite understanding.

  “It’s the kind of fighter I am, Sugar,” he said softly. I read the line again, ‘Through me you go into a city of weeping; through me you go into eternal pain; through me you go amongst the lost people.’ I swallowed hard and suppressed a shudder. When he put it like that, well… I think it was one of the most formidable things I’d ever seen or heard.

  I focused on his right side, tracing a curve of an angel’s wing near the crook of his elbow. “And this?” I asked letting my finger trace another line of script along his ribs on this side.

  “Milton from his book Paradise Lost.”

  I read it aloud, “I sung of Chaos and Eternal Night, Taught by the heav'nly Muse to venture down the dark descent, and up to re-ascend...” I smiled, “It’s beautiful,” he pulled me tight against him.

  “No, you’re beautiful,” and he kissed me, drowning any further thoughts or questions with my body’s very visceral reaction. We stayed in the shower for a long time, washing each other clean, kissing and touching, just generally exploring one another for a time.

  “Come home with me tonight,” he said as he dried my body, and giggling I tried to return the favor, when really all we were accomplishing was getting in each other’s ways.

  “Oh I wish I could,” I said regretfully, “Tomorrow is Black Friday. It’s all hands on deck at the shop. I’ve spent weeks getting ready for it.” He stopped toweling me off and pulled his robe off the hook, holding it for me.

  “Then your place it is,” he said with that endearing devilish grin. I laughed and wrapped the robe around me. He wrapped one of the towels around his lean hips and tucked one end. The other he threw over his broad shoulders.

  “I need to sleep you know!” I cried as we padded barefoot across to his room.

  “I know!” he smacked me on the ass and I jumped, another girlish yip coming out of my mouth, which I clapped my hands over.

  “Why does it matter so much?” I asked suddenly.

  “Red, I just made love to you for the first time. I don’t want or need you thinking, that it meant anything less than the world to me. You tell the guys I’ll deny it but my sappy ass wants to sleep with my woman in my arms tonight. That cool with you?” he raised his eyebrows and rubbed the towel he had over his shoulders over his black hair briskly.

  I rocked back on my heels and looked him over and finally nodded. “Okay,” I agreed. I turned the possibilities and implications of what he was saying over in my mind. Finally, I couldn’t help myself, I blurted, “Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” I immediately colored at how incredibly and humiliatingly junior high I just sounded, but it was out in the ether and there was no taking it back so… I shifted on my feet and waited until Zander finished howling with laughter at me.

  “Yeah, Sugar, yeah it does,” he said and immediately started howling again, with great side splitting laughter that he couldn’t breathe through, and that I couldn’t help but join with a titter of laughter of my own.

  Okay, I was a dork, but apparently I was his dork now. I kind of liked the sound of that.

  Chapter 9

  Revelator…

  Mandy’s bed sucked. I couldn’t get comfortable but it didn’t much matter to me when we were pressed close and warm between her crisp cotton sheets, her head cradled on my shoulder and her delicate fingertips tracing patterns on my skin, well, tracing the letters of some of the script across my ribs. It was dark but it was still early yet. Only like seven, which I guess was late for my Red because she had been fighting back yawns for like twenty minutes now.

  “What’s your real name?” she asked me quietly. I smiled into the dark.

  “John Marcus Alexander.”

  I felt her lips curve against my chest before she said, “I knew it was a nickname too, Zander I mean, Mandy isn’t my name either,” she confessed.

  “No?”

  “Mm-mm. Autumn Amanda Price.”

  I laughed softly and she smiled wider, I could hear it in her voice when she asked, “What!?”


  “That’s how I’ve always thought of you,” I admitted, “Between your eyes and hair, I always kind of thought of you as the embodiment of the season, my goddess of Fall. My girl with eyes the color of turning leaves and hair to match.” I kissed her forehead as she laughed at me.

  “Really?” she asked when I didn’t join in.

  “Really.”

  We were silent for the longest time and I thought she may have fallen asleep but then her voice crept out into the dark.

  “Not sure I deserve that,” she said, but her body told me how much the sentiment meant to her. Her leg coming over mine, her soft form pressing closer in the dark. I put my hand on her nude thigh just above her knee, and brought it up higher to rest more comfortably on my body. I loved how she twined around me like ivy.

  I didn’t dignify what she’d said with a response, instead I simply smoothed my hand over every place on her I could reach; stroking over her satiny skin until her breathing fell off, deepening and evening out with sleep. I didn’t think I would be getting much, her bed was a serious piece of shit, something meant for a guest room, and not for a grown up. I mean shit it was a Full, for one and a coil mattress for another. My bed back at the club was too but at least I threw a memory foam pad on it which did a hell of a lot more than I realized.

  She’d tried dressing for bed but I’d won that veto and her nude body against mine… damn I wanted her all over again but I was betting she needed a day or two before I took her. I tried not to think too hard about the blood. There had been more of it than I remembered from the last time I’d popped a girl’s cherry. Everybody was different I suppose. I still couldn’t believe she was mine, and only mine. There was something incredibly appealing about that when it came to my caveman brain. That mine was the only cock that’d been in her.

  I drifted off eventually, the cadence of Red’s breathing a soothing sound, like waves on a shore, or rainfall from the sky. I jolted awake to her moving around in the dark the next morning.

  “What the hell!? Come back to bed Red,” I groaned. She giggled.

  “I can’t, I have to go to work,” she bent over the bed and zipped up her boot. She kissed me a quick press of lips in the dark and I reached for her but she dodged. I sighed and it wasn’t at all happy.

  “Fucking retail holiday,” I cursed and she huffed a quiet laugh in my direction.

  “Sorry I woke you up. Go back to sleep and come see me later?” she asked.

  “I’ll bring you lunch,” I promised and she made a soft noise of agreement. I’m glad she liked the idea of it. I turned over in her bed and closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep but her bed sucked and it was weird being here without her. I lay still and I guess it hadn’t been as weird as I thought, or I was just that tired because the room was lit with a watery gray light through the curtains the next time I opened my eyes. I groaned and got up, stretching.

  I pulled on my boxer briefs and some cargo shorts. I wore shorts year round, even in the snow. At most I would put some long johns on under ‘em. Don’t ask me why. Just been doing it since I was a kid. Once I figured I was decent I went to take a leak. I ran into Dray in the hall when I came out of the bathroom and he eyed me blearily, rubbing the sleep from one of his eyes.

  “You fuckin’ Mandy?” he asked by way of greeting. I grinned and he frowned, “Be out in a minute. Go make some coffee or something.”

  I went into the kitchen. Not because he’d told me to but because I needed a hit of caffeine myself. I listened to Dray take a piss and the toilet flushed and shook my head at how paper thin the walls were in his old, but well-kept, house. He washed his hands, the blast of water from the sink taking a while, probably waiting for it to heat up some.

  While he went about his business, I went about mine. Measuring out coffee from the canister into the French press next to it, all the while looking around for the coffee maker. I figured it must be an Everett thing because there wasn’t one in sight even though I knew he’d had one. I started up the burner on the gas stove and filled the old fashioned whistling teakettle at the sink. Dray came around the corner as I put it on the cooktop over the licking blue gas flame.

  “What happened to the coffee maker?” Dray made a face.

  “My woman. Don’t change the subject.” He placed palms flat against the countertop and leaned in, fixing me with his dark eyes. I raised an eyebrow and a funny look crossed his face.

  “What’re you looking at me that way for?” he asked.

  “Did you know she was a virgin?” I asked him and he looked surprised.

  “No shit!?”

  “No shit.”

  “I knew she didn’t get much play but I thought she had at least had some. Now I really want to know what you’re gonna do.” He crossed his arms.

  “Dude, relax. I know you’ve known me a long time and I know I haven’t exactly been the committed type either, but Red’s different. She’s not the kind you love and leave.” I crossed my arms too, which was a bit awkward with how big I’d gotten.

  “She’s like a sister to Em and I’m not gonna lie, after her bein’ here almost a year, she’s like the little sister I never had. She’s a sweet girl and deserves good things,” he fixed me with a hard stare as he spoke and held it long after he’d finished. I didn’t intimidate easy so the whole hard assed routine was sort of lost on me. In this particular case it was a totally wasted effort. We were on the same page.

  “I didn’t know about the whole virgin thing; had I known I would have done a hell of a lot better than my fuckin’ room at the club. I have no intention of one and done with Red, she’s not disposable pussy man. Never was ‘n never will be. I’m surprised she let me, to be honest.” I shook my head and ran my hand back through my hair.

  We had a tense standoff for a few seconds, well, Dray did anyways. The teakettle started shrieking into the silence. I was caught between wanting to reassure my friend and VP that I had nothing but the best intentions where Red was concerned and wanting to knock his teeth in for suggesting anything otherwise. I settled for taking the damn kettle off the stove and pouring the hot water into the damn glass carafe of the French press.

  “Got any plans for tonight?” Dray asked and the tension eased marginally. The subject changing.

  “Promised Red I’d bring her by some lunch. I figured I would see if I could get her to come home with me tonight. I want to spend some time with her,” I rolled my eyes at the look he was giving me, “I want to get to know her asshole! Talk about what happened at her folks.”

  “Yeah. Had a talk with Em about that last night. She filled me in, reluctantly and only a little bit but it was enough,” Dray sighed. I pressed the coffee and poured two cups. Something about using a French press made it come out richer, the coffee taking on a velvety texture and whatever the shit was that Irish bought, it was fuckin’ good! It was also a kick in the pants. I was awake. For sure.

  “What do you eat for breakfast? Ain’t you training?” he asked. I nodded and rattled off my morning diet.

  “You’re on your own. That’s disgusting,” he stated flatly.

  “And that’s why you’ll never be as cut as me,” I said saluting him with my coffee. He snorted and I sat in long contemplation of the flowers I’d bought Red which rested on the kitchen counter between us. We’d forgotten them at the club all together the night before. I felt a wicked smile curve my lips as I went back to why it was so easy to forget about ‘em.

  Dray’s voice interrupted my thoughts, “We got something going on tonight. Take Red home with you, keep her at your place,” he said I felt an eyebrow go up.

  “The way you say that sounds like an order from my VP.”

  “It is,” he said and took another swallow of his coffee, “Me and some of the guys are going out for a little retribution for your place of business.”

  “In that case, oh Hell no you ain’t going without me!” the coffee mug in my hand made a sharp sound against the counter when I set it down.


  “You need to stay clean for the fight next month. Trigger is in on this, you stay home with your woman where she can front you an alibi if the cops happen to come sniffin’ around. We both want and need you in that ring,” Dray gave me a pointed look and I felt suspicion take hold.

  “Why? What you got riding on this fight?” I asked. Dray grinned.

  “Club needed some revenue after membership was on life support for so long, Dragon took a vote. We’re placing the last few months of dues on a bet on you my man,” I looked over, amused.

  “That so?” I asked.

  “Yep. So stay clean, fight hard and don’t fuck up. Whole club is counting on you,” he gave me this shit eating grin.

  “No pressure,” I grumbled but felt a matching grin of my own take over my face. “So what’re you guys up to tonight anyways?” I asked.

  Dray shook his head, “Plausible deniability bro,” he said and I nodded. Yeah I knew the drill. I didn’t have to like it though. My memory shifted, drifting back to the summer lake run and of Shelly’s pale and haunted face, lip busted wide open, lap draped in a random sheet as she shivered with shock in the cabin’s small dining room. Of the tortured and torn look on Ghost’s face as he realized what was what and the incredible guilt that had swamped him as he’d taken the blame all on himself. I shook my head to clear it.

  “Whatever you do, make it count,” I said and locked eyes with Dray, “Make it hurt.” He nodded and nothing else needed to be said. I went back into Red’s room and felt a fine burning rage take hold in my chest. I ripped my shirt over my head and onto my body and pulled on my All-Stars. I needed to hurt something. My anger was out of its box and burning me up from the inside out and only one or two things would take the edge off it at this point.

  I needed to plow my fist into another dude’s face or work myself out so hard my limbs felt like overused rubber. There was a third option back in the day and that had been some hard and punishing sex, but I wouldn’t do that to Red and I wasn’t ever going to be the man to satisfy that particular urge with anyone else ever again. The nameless faceless parade of sluts and the occasional hooker was a thing of the past now that Red was in the picture. I just didn’t want ‘em anymore. I just wanted her. Her, and to hurt every last motherfucker in a Suicide Kings cut that wanted to beef with me or any one of my brothers.