Fractured & Formidable: The Sacred Hearts MC Book V

by Downey, A. J.

  The congregation was lined up out in the cold as we swiftly shook hands and smiled and said hello, ushering them into the warmth of the church. Everett stood beside me, smiling and saying hello, my mother and then father bracketing me in on the other. I had talked for a long, long time with Everett the night before and had made the decision for myself to make a valiant effort to let the anger go. To tell my parents outright what I thought, how I felt and to tell them I would be living my life my own way from now on and would not be taking anymore admonishing remarks from them. To tell them that if my father did indeed ever lay a hand on me or my mother again? Well… They would never see me again.

  I looked up startled at the roar of pipes.

  “Oh my!” my mother exclaimed. I looked over to Evy who had a satisfied smile on her face, like the cat who had gotten the canary. The parishioners all turned, some open mouthed, some with wary expressions and some with open hostility as The Sacred Hearts streamed into the church’s parking lot, and I mean almost all of them. I did a head count… only three were absent that I could see.

  The men of the club got in line with the rest of the congregation and Everett slipped behind me and my parents taking up post beside my dad, making it so I would be the first in line for the greetings. Dragon came up to me.

  “How you doin’ Red?” he asked with a wink and gave me a hug.

  “Fine, um it’s good to see you!” I said weakly, at a complete loss.

  Next was Dray. Then Doc, then Chandra, Trigger and Ashton next, followed by Reaver with Hayden and Zeb, Data, Blue! One after the other after the other, each one of them with some of the sweetest things to say. ‘We love you’, ‘we support you’, ‘you’re beautiful’… an endless parade of positive things but what’s more, they told my parents these things.

  More than once I heard one of the men say to my mother, “You have a very special girl,” and when they reached my father they each looked him in the eye and said things like “You don’t have anything to worry about, Sir. We like/love/have your daughter’s back.” It was all a little overwhelming and then Zander was in front of me, his eyes sliding over me in careful consideration and I didn’t care that half the church or my parents were watching. I hugged him and kissed him, a chaste press of lips compared to what we’d done yesterday, and with a final look, thumb caressing the side of my neck in a secret, loving touch, Zander let me go and went to my mother.

  “Doing okay?” he asked her softly. She smiled at him and nodded. I swallowed a bit apprehensively as he stepped up to my father.

  “Good to see you sir.” Zander stuck out his hand and my father shook it, all smiles that didn’t even come close to reaching his eyes but instead of hostility, like I expected to see, my father’s eyes were carefully considering. Zander’s were flat and cold by comparison.

  “And you,” my father said shortly, following up with, “Please make yourself comfortable, and thank you for coming.”

  My dad smiled and I was surprised to see that he meant every word that he was saying. Zander gave Everett a quick hug and followed his brothers into the church. My father didn’t spare us a glance as he went inside and Everett and I bracketed my mom as we headed up to our places in the very first pew.

  My father settled behind the lectern at the front of our church and looked out over his flock. He spared a look for my mother and I almost gasped, it was a look of sadness but at the same time held such warmth and commitment. I can’t ever remember seeing him look at either of us in such a way.

  “I have stood up here and spoken about judgment countless times over the years. Specifically, about how we should not fear being judged except by one being and one being only… God.” My daddy paused and bowed his head, collecting his thoughts and I realized that he was completely off of his planned sermon, that this was new, that this was something unplanned and completely improvised. Something that he never did.

  “I am guilty of being a judgmental fool,” he said plainly as he stared out over the congregation. Murmurs swept through the crowd.

  “Many of you, I’m sure, have noticed our guests this morning.” A slight nervous chuckle and some good natured ones from The Sacred Hearts.

  “They are here at my daughter, Autumn’s, invitation. Let us take a moment now to greet them.” Murmurs and handshakes, and even a hug or two from some of the older ladies went around. I smiled, and people retook their seats.

  “Our Good Book has plenty to say about judgment, and the passing of judgment that we have on our fellow man. Most popularly we remember the book of Matthew, chapter seven, verse one which states; ‘Judge not, that you be not judged’. Let us look beyond the first verse of that chapter and read the entire passage, which goes on to state ‘For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.’ Matthew, chapter seven verses one through five.”

  “Brothers, sisters all, what do you think Matthew is trying to tell us?” he asked, which of course was a rhetorical question but Duracell, pushy as ever stood up and answered it anyways,

  “He’s sayin’ don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you!” his pronouncement was met by laughter and Blue pulled him back down into his seat beside him in the pew. “What? He asked!” Duracell cried and this was met by yet more laughter. My father even cracked a smile.

  “Well, yes, that is one way to look at it,” my father agreed, “And you put it quite succinctly brother…”

  “Duracell!” Duracell called up and there was more laughter. Duracell gave a cheeky grin and I couldn’t remember a time that a service had been more informal and fun. It was quickly turning into an almost Sunday school for grownups with the addition of the MC. Well some of them. Dragon reached forward and smacked Duracell in the back of the head and with a grin muttered something to the younger man. Probably about having some respect. Blue was smiling, which he almost never did and I caught Zander’s eye, who winked at me and puckered his lips in a kiss in my direction. The lot of them were incorrigible!

  “Yes, well, you’re correct brother Duracell,” my father seemed a bit flustered and my mother blushed faintly. I squeezed her hand.

  “Let us now turn to Romans, chapter two verses one through three for a better understanding of what brother Duracell is saying. It states, ‘Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?’” My father paused in his reading and took his glasses from his face, folding them neatly and setting them above his bible.

  “Now, I didn’t know that my daughter’s friends were coming today, and no offense to our guests, but I have to ask, how many of you thought something negative upon their arrival? Be honest now…” hands went up in the air, tentatively.

  “What if I told you that they were here in defense of my wife and daughter, that the man I have presented to you; that I, am in fact, a deeply flawed individual?” the church was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

  He confessed the whole thing, his jealousy, his hurt and his rage, his controlling nature, how he let his hand fly entirely too much and too often and how he was not the man the church thought he was, just all of it. We all sat in stunned silence as he brought his sermon full circle, back to the scriptures that he had initially quoted.

  “And so with a heavy heart I confess to you my guilt. I have been a judgmental fool. I have spent years judging my wife, even after I
spoke to her of forgiveness. I have spent years judging my little girl…” he sobbed, he actually sobbed, “for a mistake that she didn’t even make and I cannot apologize enough to her and to my beautiful wife. It took these men, my daughter’s guests, to show me just how wrong I’ve been. Specifically you, young man,” he gestured to Zander, “And I don’t even know your name.”

  Zander stood up and with that smile, that endearing grin of his that made butterflies take off in my stomach every time I saw it he said, “John Alexander, most folks just call me Zander but my brothers here call me Rev or Revelator. Out of all the names and titles I got though, really, I’m just the guy that loves your daughter.” He looked at me when he said the last and I think it was honestly, in that moment right then and there, that I fell completely and endlessly in love with Zander.

  My father brought the service to an end after requesting to speak with the deacons and other leadership of the church directly after. As always, there was a social in the church’s basement which all were welcome to attend and my father asked ‘his daughter’s friends’ to please stay for refreshments and the congregation to welcome them.

  I think nearly everyone stayed, as much from being rattled to the core by my father’s pronouncements, as out of just sheer curiosity when it came to the bikers in their midst. Everett, my mother and I, did our best to play gracious hostess to everyone, none of us having the faintest idea what was going on behind my father’s closed office doors. My mother and I exchanged worried looks and remained silent. My father would do, and always did, whatever it was he did, and we were almost always along for the ride in some capacity or another, and this was much the same.

  Zander found me in fairly short order and I stared at him for long moments and tried not to think the worst of things. Still, a small voice in the back of my head wondered… did they threaten my father into his confession? Zander grinned at me.

  “It’s written all over your face, Sugar, and no… I just asked my brothers who wanted to come with me today. I wanted to show my support for my best girl, my only girl and wouldn’t you know it? Just about all of them thought it would be a fine idea. Ghost wanted to be here, he just couldn’t make it on a kind of movin’ Shelly into his place.” I nodded dumbly.

  “Thank you,” I said finally and hugged myself to him. Zander’s arms curved around my body and he held me tight.

  “Anything for you, Red. You should probably know I did initially talk it over with Dray and he sent Duracell to kick your dad’s ass, but then I thought about you. You’re sweet and forgiving and all the things that are right and good in the damn world and I got to thinkin’ and well, this, showing up here… I thought it might be a better way of handling things this time so I called Duracell off and asked the club and here we are.” He drew back to look at me and I couldn’t stop my smiling. I grinned and touched the side of his face reverently and said,

  “Good call.”

  Zander barked a laugh and hauled me in to a tighter hug than before, smacking a kiss on my lips that made me blush, before letting me go enough to introduce my boyfriend to some curious parishioners.

  It was a good day.

  Chapter 17

  Revelator…

  Taking the long road, doing the right thing, and using your words and actions that didn’t involve letting fists fly, was harder and way more time consuming than just punching a dude in the face a few times and going out for a beer after. Still, I couldn’t argue the result in this case. My Red had fuckin’ glowed with happiness as she’d moved around first the church basement, then her parent’s kitchen.

  Her dad had pulled the church folks aside and asked if they wanted his resignation. They’d said no, but had put some decent stipulations on his staying. I guess one of their deacons was a retired cop. He had a good head on him and had suggested some anger management classes, said they’d helped him some years back when his temper had got him in hot water. Red’s dad had agreed and when they all came downstairs, the deacon-cop had wandered on over to our Pres. and they’d started talking. There seemed to be some history there. Small world.

  It was just me, Dray, Ev and my Red at dinner. The rest of the guys had split off at the church after all was said and done and gone on to do their own thing. Not before I’d caught Zeb taking my girl aside though. I’d shamelessly listened in while he’d told her that he was happy for her, but that he was sorry he’d missed the bus when it came to getting with her. He was a stand-up brother. He’d kissed my girl on her cheek and said they’d be friends forever, and when he’d caught me lookin’ and listenin’, said to take care of her.I could fuckin’ respect that. At the same time, I found myself sending out a little something or other into the ether, thanking my lucky stars I’d pulled my head out of my ass when I did. Everett sure wasn’t lying about other guys taking interest.

  “You ain’t going to be expecting me to go with you every Sunday now are you?” I asked.

  We were laying on the couch at my place, fire burning brightly in the hearth. The wind and rain sweeping violently outside. It’d gotten downright stormy out there, but then again, it was the time of year for it. I’d ridden home in the rain and the wet while she’d taken Everett home. It surprised me when she’d shown up at my place. I’d answered the door fresh out of a hot shower and she’d fallen on me, kissing me with this wild abandon that I was all fucking for. I’d made love to her right there on the entryway floor. Classy, I know, but when it was right it was right and it was right fucking then, so…

  Red giggled and answered my question, “No. It was so amazing, what you guys did for me today.” She snuggled against my chest and I tucked the comforter from the top of my bed closer down around us. I’d gotten it after we were through, pulling Mandy down on top of me as we lay in front of the fire on my couch. If only she realized how amazing she was.

  “Anything for you, Sugar,” I kissed the top of her head and felt her smile against my chest. She kissed me, over my heart and laid her head back down.

  “What happens now?” she asked softly.

  “Now, we get into some kind of new routine. Trig and I keep lookin’ for a place to set up shop, I keep training, we figure out how to fit into each other’s lives.” I shrugged and she laughed.

  “Listen to you! Deep thinker. I mean what happens right now! Do you want me to stay tonight or..?” I laughed.

  “You got tomorrow off?” she nodded. “Sweet. Then yeah, you stay here tonight. Tomorrow, well shit, we’ll figure that out when we get there, sound good?” she nodded again and settled against me, more relaxed, more at ease.

  “Don’t gotta plan everything down to the nth degree, Sugar,” I murmured gently.

  “I’m just so used to that being the way things are,” she said gently.

  “I know,” I smoothed my hands up and down her body beneath the comforter.

  “I wasn’t sure before,” she said suddenly, out of nowhere after some time had gone by with nothing other than the wind and the rain in the eaves and the warm crackle and hiss of the fire in the fireplace to fill the comfortable silence.

  “Before what?” I asked when she trailed off, I looked down my chest where she stared off into space, her autumn colored eyes staring fixed into the leaping flames. She blinked slowly as if hypnotized by the fire and propped her chin on her hand which rested flat and warm against my skin. God, I couldn’t get enough of her skin on skin!

  “When you showed up with everyone today… what you said in front of the whole church… I think I love you.” I gave her a squeeze and smiled as I bolted forward and kissed her nose.

  “You think?” I said, teasingly. She smiled.

  “I’ve never been in love with anyone before, but if this is what it’s like then I’m happy it’s you.” I chuckled and felt suffused with warmth.

  “I love you, Red. Never told any woman that. Not a one, so you’re pretty fuckin’ special.”

  She reared up and wiggled so she could kiss me on the mouth, which turned from a quick kis
s to something much deeper and laced with some serious emotion. The kiss we shared had weight and when I’d kissed her damn near breathless and let her go gently, she leaned back from me and searched my eyes with hers.

  “I love you,” she said, and I could see plain as day that it frightened her a little what she was feeling for me, and that made me hold her tight and tighter.

  “Y’know, I used to know this dude, he was a part of the club a long time ago. They called him Unkind, because he was a surly bastard if ever there was one,” Mandy tipped her head to the side, her look considering. “He said to me once, ‘It doesn’t matter who hurt you or broke you down. What does matter is who made you smile again.’ Of course he was drunk as fuck when he said it, but it stuck with me.” I could feel the smile on my face fade as I stared into Mandy’s too serious one.

  “Why are you telling me this?” she asked softly.

  “Because in some ways you were that girl for me. I was working so damned much, busy as all get out…” I sighed, “You made me want to stop… and after Open Road Ink and a bunch of the other shit, you made me smile again and I just hope that in some way, big or small, that I’m that guy for you too.” My Red climbed my body and straddled my hips, kissing me deeply. I sat up and she squealed, laughing as I took her along for the ride.

  “If we’re gonna do this, I’m taking you to bed,” I said and nipped her shoulder.

  “Oh we are most definitely going to do this,” she murmured, and damned if it wasn’t the most seductive thing I’d ever heard her say, her voice low and husky and yeah. We were definitely going to do this.

  I stood up and set her on her feet. I picked up the comforter and threw it over my shoulder and followed her down the hall to my room. God she had the most gorgeous heart shaped ass and no matter how much I told myself I could get used to this, I knew I never would. And you know what? I was totally cool with that. Like completely cool.