Summer According to Humphrey

by Betty G. Birney

  Or had he heard a skittering noise in his cabin, too?

  Our conversation was interrupted when Katie and Ms. Mac came into the room, even though breakfast was still loudly going on in the dining hall.

  “I know I saw a stack of blank notebooks in here the other day,” said Ms. Mac, looking through some boxes on a shelf. “Maybe it was this box.”

  She set the box on the table right next to my cage and began to check what was inside.

  “Oh, these are fun,” she said, holding up some papers.

  “What are they?” Katie asked.

  “Stickers. Fun, cheery thoughts to encourage kids. Here’s one with a frog on it.” Ms. Mac read it aloud. “‘I’d be hoppy to be your friend.’”

  “It looks like you!” I squeaked to Og, who cheerily BOING-ed.

  “Maybe we can find a use for these,” Ms. Mac said.

  Katie rummaged through another box. “Here they are. They’ll be perfect for our nature notebooks.”

  Then it came: a shrill blast from the whistle.

  Katie and Ms. Mac quickly got up. “Uh-oh! It’s Ruth Wright. Better go,” Ms. Mac said, putting the stickers down on my table.

  “Yes,” Katie answered with a giggle. “Because everyone is wrong except Ruth Wright!”

  The two counselors hurried into the dining hall, carrying the notebooks with them.

  Mrs. Wright not only had a whistle, she had a first name. Ruth. Maybe she annoyed the humans a little bit, too.

  I knew what would come next. Morning announcements from Hap Holloway, followed by the camp song and team cheers from each cabin group.

  I could hear all that happening in the background, but I was thinking about something else. Fun, cheery thoughts to encourage kids. I knew some kids who needed some encouragement. And now, I had a Plan.

  Despite the previous night’s bad experience outside of my cage, I pushed on the old lock-that-doesn’t-lock, threw open the cage door and grabbed as many stickers as I could hold in my mouth. Then I raced back to my cage and pulled the door behind me. Whew!

  However, I had a new problem. Where was I going to hide the stickers? I knew I had just minutes—maybe seconds—until the counselors came back to get me.

  Then it dawned on me that I had the perfect place: behind the mirror in my cage, where I keep my little notebook.

  I slid the notebook out of its hiding place and stuffed the stickers inside, then pushed the notebook back in place.

  At that exact moment, Ms. Mac and Katie returned.

  “We’d better put those boxes away before Ruth Wright sees we’ve done something wrong,” Ms. Mac said. She reached for the box and caught a glimpse of me out of the corner of her eye.

  I was still pushing on the notebook behind the mirror. Had I been caught in the act?

  “Look at Humphrey!” Ms. Mac chuckled. “He’s staring at his good-looking self in the mirror!”

  Katie laughed, too. Then the two of them returned the boxes to the shelf.

  It was the second time that morning that I said “Whew!” (But I said it very softly.)

  Katie picked up my cage. “Time to go to work,” she said cheerily. “And don’t worry, Humphrey. You look handsome as ever. You too, Og.”

  (I think she was just being nice about Og.)

  Once I was settled into the Nature Center, I saw Brad sitting there. He had a sour expression on his face—as usual—and no one talked to him. He was definitely hard to like, I thought. Yet I’d never met a kid who deep down didn’t want to be liked.

  I guess it didn’t help that Gail was sitting next to him. She was too busy scribbling a letter to notice he was even there. I suddenly wished that my old teacher, Mrs. Brisbane, was around. She’d know how to get Gail’s mind off home.

  Thinking of Mrs. Brisbane made me feel a little guilty. After all, I’d just stolen a bunch of stickers that most certainly didn’t belong to me. I’d hidden the stolen goods in my own cage. And I had no idea how to get them to the person who needed them, even though he was sitting in the same room as I was.

  I was a thief and a dimwit. But at least I was handsome. (I’m just quoting Ms. Mac and Katie on that.)

  While I was thinking about my new life of crime, suddenly all of the campers got up and left the room.

  “Where are they going?” I asked Og, even though I knew the answer that was coming.

  “BOING-BOING.”

  Og meant well, but I wished he could be more helpful.

  Then I had the good sense to look up at the board and see what Katie had written there:NATURE HIKE TODAY

  I guess I wasn’t such a dimwit after all. I wasn’t sure how long this hike would take, so there was no time to waste.

  “Og, there’s something I have to do, but I don’t have time to explain it to you now,” I squeaked to my friend. “Wish me luck!”

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” he twanged in a way that sounded more like a warning than a good-luck wish.

  But there was no turning back. This time, unlike the night before, I figured out my route before I left my cage. It was actually an easy course to get to my goal: Brad’s new nature notebook, which was on the floor next to his chair.

  I reached behind my mirror and pulled out my notebook. I didn’t have a lot of time to study the stickers, so I grabbed the frog sticker and carefully held it between my teeth.

  I jiggled the lock-that-doesn’t-lock, slid down the table leg and scurried across the floor, straight to Brad’s notebook. I carefully removed the sticker from my mouth—the teeth marks were hardly noticeable—and slipped it under the cover.

  That’s when I made an interesting discovery. Stuck to the bottom of the frog sticker was another sticker with a big smiley face. It read, Smile! Somebody Likes You!

  There was no time to waste, so I pushed that sticker under the cover of Gail’s notebook, which was beneath her chair.

  Then I dashed back to the table for the more difficult part of my journey.

  At Jake the Snake’s end of the table was a basket with a TALL-TALL-TALL stalky plant growing out of it. It took strength to climb up the basket, but the woven straw was easy for my paws to grab onto.

  When I got to the top of the basket, it took even more strength to leap onto the plant. I climbed up the stem, just as if I were climbing up the tree branch in my cage. When I was level with the table, I held my breath and took a giant leap. I hadn’t even thought about how slippery that tabletop might be, but I immediately slid right into the side of Jake’s tank. I bounced off and was slightly stunned . . . until I saw Jake.

  I’d never gotten such a close look at a snake before (and hope I never will again). He twisted and thrashed about, sticking his tongue out at me.

  “Sorry,” I squeaked.

  Heart pounding, I scurried past him, back to my cage, where I made sure the door was tightly closed.

  I checked it three times.

  Og splashed around wildly in his water. It took me a while to catch my breath so I could explain what my mission had been.

  I’d barely gotten my story out when the hikers returned to the Nature Center. They were chattering happily, except for Brad. And Gail.

  Katie instructed the campers to open their notebooks and write a list of everything they’d observed on their hike. “Don’t worry about the writing—just jot things down as you remember them.”

  Brad rolled his eyes, but he reached for his notebook and opened it up.

  Gail also grabbed her notebook, her pen poised to write. But the pen stayed midair as she saw the smiley face sticker in her notebook.

  “Watch carefully, Og!” I squeaked as I watched her every move.

  Gail studied the sticker carefully. She even turned it over to see if there was anything written on the back.

  Then Brad saw his sticker. He picked it up and read it. He puzzled over it for a few seconds, then he began looking around the room.

  “That’s it, Og! He’s trying to figure out who sent it!” I was unsqueakably happy.


  Brad looked all around. Gail looked all around.

  At one point, they actually looked at each other, but they were embarrassed and quickly looked away.

  Soon, the session was over and the kids left their notebooks with Katie.

  Gail put her sticker in her pocket. She wasn’t smiling, but she did look interested in knowing who liked her.

  Brad put his sticker in his pocket. He was still watching the other campers closely. I was pretty sure he wondered who’d be hoppy to be his friend.

  Maybe I was a thief and even a dimwit. But at least I’d helped a couple of humans, or so I hoped.

  NOTE TO SELF: Usually it’s not a good idea to be sneaky. But sometimes, it is.

  13

  Goldenrod

  That afternoon, Know-a-Lot Noah showed up in the Nature Center, as he always did. Just before the session started, he stopped by our table. “I’m going to try to get you out of that cage, Humphrey. You too, Og.”

  “Don’t do us any favors!” I squeaked to him. I guess he meant well, but I had owls and other scary creatures on my mind.

  “I know, I know.” Noah acted as if he understood me, though he clearly had not. “You want to be free! I’ll get you out of here.”

  I got that shivery, quivery feeling again, but Ms. Mac was talking and I tried to forget what Noah said. It wasn’t long, though, before he was waving his hand.

  “Yes, Noah?” Ms. Mac said.

  “If we can’t free the animals, couldn’t we at least let Humphrey get some fresh air?” he asked.

  Ms. Mac looked puzzled. “This classroom is in the open air. The front wall is completely open.”

  “He could walk around in his hamster ball,” he suggested.

  Everyone, including Katie and Ms. Mac, seemed to think this was a good idea and soon, I was lazily spinning my way through the rows of chairs. Ms. Mac switched off the lights so she could show some slides of flowers. As I rolled down the aisle, I passed by Garth’s chair just as he was stretching his leg and I bounced off his foot. I then rolled to someone else’s chair leg, bounced again and picked up speed. Everyone was watching the slides—except me—as my hamster ball rolled through the open wall of the Nature Center onto a small porch.

  I stopped moving my paws and let the ball coast slowly across the porch. It was bright outside and the air was very fresh. The rough boards made my ride a little bumpy, but it was lovely being out of my cage and experiencing freedom, like Noah had said. (As long as I had the sturdy plastic hamster ball to protect me.)

  Then I hit an especially big bump, took a sharp turn and bounced down three little steps. BUMPITY-BUMP-BUMP!

  The ball picked up speed and whirled and twirled its way down a path, veering off to the side into thick underbrush. THUMPITY-THUMP-THUMP!

  I was feeling pretty anxious when the ball came to a sudden stop against the trunk of a tree, hitting with such force that the lid of the ball popped open! If I’d wanted to, I could have hopped out of the ball and disappeared into the wild.

  I was pretty sure I didn’t want to.

  While I was trying to figure out my next move, I heard that sound again.

  SKITTER-SKITTER-SKITTER.

  SCRITCH-SCRITCH-SCRITCH.

  “Hello?” I squeaked.

  “Eeek!” a familiar voice squeaked.

  “Eeek yourself,” I squeaked back. “Can you help me?”

  That’s when I saw the little brown mouse with big, dark eyes peek out at me from behind a tree trunk.

  “Oh, it’s you,” the mouse said. “What are you doing in that . . . thing?”

  “It’s not a thing. It’s a hamster ball.” I was a little annoyed with it for even asking. But then I had an amazing revelation. Unlike Og, or Lovey or Jake (who actually didn’t make any sounds at all), I could understand this creature, just as I’d been able to understand Winky, the hamster I’d met a while back. Maybe we were related.

  “Would you happen to be a hamster?” I asked.

  “A what?” it replied. “Don’t be silly. I’m a mouse! A girl mouse.”

  “I knew that,” I admitted. “I’ve seen mice before. But they were in cages at Pet-O-Rama.”

  “Eeek!” she squeaked again, her big eyes blinking. “Cages?”

  “Never mind,” I said. “Can you help push me back toward the Nature Center? I think I’ve rolled off course,” I explained. “If you could push down the lid of this thing, it would help.”

  The mouse came a few steps closer, but she was definitely on her guard.

  “Who are you?” she asked.

  “I’m Humphrey. I’m a hamster. A classroom hamster,” I added proudly.

  “Oh,” she said. “I’m not sure what that is, but you look a lot like a mouse. Why don’t you come out of that thing?”

  It was an interesting question.

  “Don’t you want to come out into the wild?” she asked.

  Out in the wild—me?

  “Well . . .” I stalled for time. “Um, I live in a school, in a classroom.”

  She was clearly horrified. “With humans? Inside?”

  “What’s wrong with humans?” I asked.

  She shuddered. “They don’t like mice, for one thing. Besides, you’re not meant to live inside. You should live outside, like me.”

  I didn’t agree with her, any more than I agreed with Noah.

  “By the way, who are you?” I asked, only because she’d asked me the same question earlier.

  “I’m Goldenrod,” she said in a friendlier voice. “I mean, that’s what everybody calls me.”

  “Nice name,” I said, and I meant it. “Isn’t it very dangerous to live outside? With owls and bats and Howlers?”

  Goldenrod looked puzzled. “Howlers? What are they?”

  “Oh,” I answered. “They’re horrible, terrible things. They’re . . . well, I’m not sure what they are. I’ve only heard about them. They go, ‘Owoooo!’”

  Goldenrod’s nose twitched as she thought about it. “I’ve never seen them or heard them. Owls are very scary, of course, but bats are nothing to worry about. Yes, there are dangers out here, but it’s better than a life in prison. Isn’t it?”

  “Prison?” I asked. “Who’s in prison?”

  “I’ve seen them carry you around in that prison,” she said.

  I couldn’t help chuckling. “That’s my cage! It protects me from dangerous things, like dogs and cats.”

  “What are they?” Goldenrod asked.

  “DANGEROUS-DANGEROUS-DANGEROUS creatures!” I said. “You’re lucky you’ve never met them.”

  “Goodness, I guess I am,” Goldenrod replied. “I’ve seen foxes, of course, and coyotes. But never dogs and cats.”

  Foxes and coyotes sounded every bit as dangerous as dogs and cats, but I didn’t say so.

  “Besides, I can get in and out of my cage whenever I want,” I explained. “I have a lock-that-doesn’t-lock.”

  Goldenrod tilted her head to one side. “Lock?”

  I could see it wasn’t going to be easy to explain the role of a pet to her. “Anyway, it’s not a prison. In fact, humans love me.”

  Goldenrod gasped. “Humans love?”

  I gasped in return. “Of course! They love each other and they love their pets.”

  “Wow. I had no idea,” Goldenrod said. “I thought they just made noise and tore down trees and set fires.”

  “No,” I told her. “They like to feed animals and play games and burp and sing silly songs about Little Bunny Foo Foo.”

  Goldenrod’s eyes got wide. “Bunny Foo Foo? Does he live around here?”

  “No.” I chuckled. “Never mind.”

  Then I changed the subject. “Can you help me, Goldenrod?” I asked. “Could you close this lid and give me a push?”

  Luckily the ball had stopped with the lid on the side, right at Goldenrod’s level.

  “Yes, if that’s what you want,” she said. “It’s been interesting to meet you, Humphrey.” She reached up with her front paws
and pushed the lid closed.

  “Oh, and I’ll never forget you, Goldenrod. We have a lot in common, you know,” I told her.

  “I won’t forget you, either, Humphrey,” she said. “Let me know if you ever decide to be wild.”

  And with that, she gave the ball a big push and I rolled back toward the Nature Center. I was impressed with her strength.

  “THANKS-THANKS-THANKS!” I squeaked to her.

  “Bye, Humphrey!” she squeaked back.

  I had to run as hard as I could to roll the ball to the bottom of the steps. As I caught my breath, I heard noise coming from the cabin. There seemed to be quite a commotion going on there.

  “Humphrey? Humphrey!!” That was Ms. Mac’s voice, but I never heard her quite so excited before.

  “Maybe he rolled under the desk,” Katie said.

  “Or outside,” another voice suggested.

  There were footsteps as Ms. Mac and some of the kids ran out onto the porch.

  “I hope he didn’t roll out here.” Ms. Mac sounded worried.

  “Wait a second! I see him!” I recognized Simon’s voice.

  More footsteps and then Ms. Mac reached down and gently picked up my hamster ball.

  “Oh, Humphrey, you had us so worried,” she said softly. “I guess you had yourself a little adventure.”

  “You have no idea,” I squeaked weakly.

  Noah was out on the porch, too. Ms. Mac turned to him. “Noah, you can see how dangerous it can be for a pet to be out of his cage.”

  “He was in his hamster ball,” he said. “But I bet he wishes he could have just kept going.”

  “That’s not for you to decide,” Ms. Mac said firmly.

  “Right!” I agreed.

  In a few seconds, I was safe and secure in my cage. I was glad to be back. And when I rested up, I’d tell Og what happened.

  For the moment, I crawled into my sleeping hut for a nice doze. In the background, Ms. Mac was talking about how everybody—even she—was responsible for what had happened.

  When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Goldenrod’s face. As I drifted off to sleep, the words “I won’t forget you, Humphrey” repeated over and over in my mind.

  NOTE TO SELF: Even a creature who is a lot like you can have very different opinions!