Distracted

by Warren, Alexandra

  Since the text was actually from a few hours earlier, I wasn’t expecting a reply. So I was surprised when one did in fact come in.

  Glad to hear that, ma. And keep being mad at him. He deserves it. ;) -Miles

  A real smile crept to my face for the first time in however long I had been holed up in my bedroom. I left my phone on the charger, heading to the bathroom to at least do the bare minimum of taking a shower and brushing my teeth. Then I threw on a clean pair of pajamas and went into the living room to find Landon sound asleep on a makeshift pallet in the middle of the floor with the TV still on from the night before.

  To no surprise at all, it was turned to ESPN.

  I couldn’t help but tune in as they went on and on about how Bryson had played lights out for his team to win the championship. I honestly wanted to be happy for him - wanted to be proud of him -, but my stubborn side wouldn’t allow for it. Surely he was celebrating, living in the glory of yet another championship, while I hung out around the house beyond miserable.

  I couldn’t go out like that.

  I headed back to the bedroom, put together the best outfit I could find, and spent the next couple of hours getting completely dolled up, from my hair to my makeup, and everything in between.

  Then I grabbed my phone and sent Chloe a text reneging on my initial rejection of her plans.

  If he could move on with his life, then so could I.

  Bryson

  I sure hope his plan works.

  I was honestly nervous as I sat at the private bar in the club, wearing all black so that I wouldn’t stand out too much even though we were obviously in VIP. But I knew if Kennedy saw me, she would more than likely turn around and get away before I could talk to her. I was surprised when Chloe told Wes she had actually agreed to come out though I was sure Chloe hadn’t given her every detail of what she was really getting herself into.

  My back was turned to the crowd when I heard Chloe yell, “There’s my superstar!”

  My heart started beating even faster just from knowingly being in the same vicinity as Kennedy. I turned around slowly and my jaw literally dropped to the floor.

  She looked flawless as fuck.

  Her hair was laid in soft waves that fell perfectly around her face, her makeup looked like she had found all the right tutorials on YouTube, and her outfit fit in all the right places giving the classy yet sexy vibe she always pulled off so well.

  I could tell she was second guessing her attendance as she watched Chloe throw herself at Wes, but eventually Wes snuck a hug from Kennedy also.

  And now it was go time.

  I stood up, taking the last sip of my club soda before I headed their way. She didn’t see my approach as she was already engaged in a conversation with Wes and Chloe, so I gently tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention.

  When she turned around, she wasn’t quite smiling, but she wasn’t frowning either so I felt a little hopeful as I said, “Hi.”

  “Hello.”

  We stood there in a fog of silence, neither of us really knowing what to say. Of course I had rehearsed this exact moment a million times before I came, but I guess her beauty threw all that shit out of the window.

  I cleared my throat to ask, “Do you think we could umm… go talk?”

  She crossed her arms, wearing a hint of a smirk as she asked, “Here?”

  I tried to stay calm as I told her, “Yeah. They have a rooftop that’s a lot quieter than this. If that’s cool with you.” I knew if she didn’t want to talk to me, there was really no way I could make her.

  “Yeah, it’s cool with her!” Chloe jumped in, damn near pushing Kennedy into my arms. Kennedy shot her a glare before she took a deep breath and followed me up the stairs to the rooftop.

  The setting was a little more intimate than I imagined, with only a few people occupying the lounge-style seating around various pit fires. I wanted to take her hand and guide her to the one I thought would be the most private, but instead I kept my hands to myself and just walked to an unoccupied area.

  She fell into her seat, gazing out into the night sky and I honestly could’ve just stared at her all night long. But I knew that wasn’t what I had brought her up here for, so I decided to kick up a conversation.

  Of course, the second I opened my mouth to say something, she spoke up.

  “So… I heard you guys won the big game. Congratulations.”

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  The silence returned and it took everything in me not to reach out and touch her. I mean, she looked so damn good that I just knew even the slightest graze of her skin would probably ignite the flame that was brewing inside of me.

  I watched her closely as she twiddled with her fingers before she finally turned her attention to me and said, “I umm… guess we should talk, as adults, so we can come to some type of closure… as adults.”

  “Kenn, I’ma be real with you. I’m not really interested in closure. I’m interested in hashing this shit out so we can move on… together.”

  She caught the cutest little attitude as she replied, “Well I’mnot really interested in being with you right now, so it looks like we have a problem.”

  I could no longer resist the urge to take her hands in mine.

  “Baby, come on now. Did I fuck up? Yes. Could I have told you right away? Yes. But I didn’t purposely keep it from you to be malicious.”

  She didn’t pull her hands away, but her little attitude remained as she asked, “Well what do you call it, huh? Protecting my feelings?”

  I nodded. “Yes. Exactly that.”

  She leaned in, dropping her tone to a whisper as she said, “Well guess what, Bryson? You fucked that up regardless.”

  “Baby…”

  She finally pulled her hands back into her own lap and released a sigh of her own. I could tell she was just as exhausted with the conversation as I was when she said, “Just tell me, Bryson. Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

  I gave her the honest truth. “I just… we were in such a good place and I didn’t wanna ruin it yet. I didn’t wanna lose you, Kennedy. And yes, that happened regardless too. But I swear I was gonna tell you when the time was right.”

  She rolled her eyes as she replied, “There’s never a right time to tell someone you love that you’re having a baby by someone else.”

  “See. So now you know where I was coming from.” I was trying to lighten the mood, but she didn’t take the bait.

  Instead she pushed her hair behind her ear, almost appearing too calm to be true as she said, “Look, Bryson. I appreciate everything you did for me, and respect your position on the situation, but we just… can’t.”

  “Why can’t we, Kenn? We were good before this happened. Damn near perfect if we’re being real. And I know you love me just as much as I love you. So why can’t you look past this one thing?”

  Clearly I must’ve asked the wrong question as she stood up in a fury. “It’s not just this one thing!”

  A few set of eyes shot our way, so she lowered her tone to continue, “It’s a whole child we’re talking about. A child that you’re responsible for until it becomes an adult and hell, even after that. So don’t try to sit up here and act like I’m being frivolous over something basic. A child is a big fuckin’ deal.”

  I stood up to meet her eyes, stealing her hands one more time to tell her, “You know what, Kennedy? You’re right. And I can’t expect you to stop everything you’re doing, everything you’re building, to join me and my problems.”

  She refused to keep eye contact with me, dropping her eyes to our feet as she asked, “So what are you saying?”

  The breath didn’t come easy, but I desperately needed it to reply, “I guess I’m saying… though it pains me to say this… I guess this is really goodbye.”

  I could tell she was initially shocked, but she quickly brushed it off. “I agree. I mean, it’s what’s best, right?”

  “No, but I get it. It’s what’s best for you. I don’
t have a voice in this.”

  “You had a voice. You just refused to use it.”

  The silence was deafening, as if everything around us had suddenly disappeared. And in my mind, everything had disappeared with my attention being completely stolen by her; as always.

  “So this is really it, huh?”

  She didn’t seem thrilled to answer, “Yeah, I guess so.”

  We shared a few more moments of just… looking at each other before she finally pulled away.

  “I’m gonna… go back downstairs.”

  I knew there was no stopping her, so I gave her a nod and told her I’d be down in a minute. And with every step she took away from me, it felt like she was really stepping on my heart.

  Kennedy

  I should’ve felt good about this.

  In all honesty, I should’ve been ecstatic to finally have the answers I wanted and the closure I thought I needed. But somehow, I felt even more horrible than I had before I left my apartment.

  For one, I couldn’t believe Chloe’s ass had set me up to “run into” Bryson. And for two, I wasn’t exactly expecting the conversation between Bryson and I to happen anytime soon; if ever.

  But what better time than the present, I suppose.

  I dragged myself into the apartment, walking right in on a way too comfortable Landon who was lounging on the couch shirtless, sipping a beer even though it was well past two in the morning.

  “Hey. Wasn’t sure if you were coming back or not tonight.”

  “Well… here I am.”

  He scooted over to one side of the couch before he patted a space for me to sit down. And even though I knew I wasn’t interested in his comfort, I walked over and plopped down anyway.

  I was working to get my shoes off as he asked, “So, did you have fun tonight?” I nodded my head yes though I knew it wasn’t true.

  “Was… he there?”

  My attitude was instant, forcing me to spit out, “That’s none of your business, Landon.”

  He had the nerve to laugh at me as he said, “Damn. So he was there.” I rolled my eyes, standing up to head to the bathroom, but he pulled me back down to the couch.

  “My bad, babe. I was just messin’ with you. How about you go change into some comfy clothes then we can watch a movie together or somethin’.”

  I stood up again as I told him, “Not interested. I’m going to bed.”

  “You’re going to bed? Yeah right. You’re way too tense to actually get some sleep.”

  He could tell I wasn’t pleased with his assessment so he threw in, “Look, I’ll sit on the floor or somethin’ if that makes you feel better about us spending some time together.”

  I thought it over and realized a movie may actually be the perfect thing to take my mind off of Bryson, even if I did have to sit through it with Landon of all people.

  So instead of turning him down once more, I answered, “Fine. But you better not try anything.”

  &

  It was late.

  Like… really late.

  Like so late that it was almost time for the sun to come up.

  But I felt so content as I laid on the couch with Landon sitting in front of me while we watched Booty Call like it was brand new, laughing at all the same parts that were funny in the 90s though I really had no business watching it back then.

  Landon looked content as well, smiling while the light from the action on the TV screen flickered off of his face. He really was a fine specimen of man if you were able to look past his gigantic mistake of cheating with those damn strippers.

  But I was no better.

  I had cheated with someone who was probably on his way to being a modern day Wilt Chamberlain.

  Okay, maybe he’s not that bad.

  At least I hope not....

  Landon must’ve picked up on my vibes as he turned around and asked, “You okay, babe?”

  I tried to look as normal as possible as I replied, “Yeah. I’m fine. Just thinking about some things. I’m good though. Nothing to worry about.”

  He wore of half-hearted smile, turning around fully to say, “Kennedy, we were engaged once upon a time. So I pretty much know you like the back of my hand, including when something is wrong with you. So what is it?” There was no way I was going to talk to my ex-fiancé about my ex-whatever we called ourselves doing.

  So I stood up, stretching out a little and forcing a yawn. “Nothing, Landon. I’m just… getting tired. I think I’m gonna crash. Thanks for hanging out with me though.”

  The smile was now full blown as he replied, “That’s what I’m here for, babe. I got your back.”

  If only you would’ve done that from the beginning, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

  I pushed my petty to the side to toss a, “Good night” over my shoulder while I headed to the room. Then I threw myself onto the bed, already trying to figure out how I was gonna deal with the coming days.

  Chloe had already asked me to go with her to the Championship parade next weekend and even though I knew just being around Bryson exhausted me, I was still considering attending. It was a big deal for our city to have a championship team once again, so the least I could do was bask in the excitement of all the festivities.

  At least this time I’d be a little more prepared to see him.

  Or would I....

  I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt about Bryson’s truth. I mean, of course I wasn’t happy about it, but I also wasn’t as upset as I imagined myself to be after the fact.

  His intentions were good; it was his execution that was horrible. But was that really a reflection of who Bryson was?

  He had been good to me… really, really good to me.

  We were good together.

  So why couldn’t we move past this one thing?

  That one thing is a baby, that’s why.

  Even though the baby wouldn’t be my responsibility, it would always be a part of him. So if I wanted any parts of him, I’d be sharing it with the baby, which also meant I’d be sharing him with Nicole.

  And that was some BS.

  But would Nicole really be that much of an issue?

  I mean, I already knew how catty she could get, but I could pretty much assume Bryson would have no problem keeping her in her place.

  Damn.

  You’ve got it bad, Kennedy.

  I couldn’t believe I was really laying in bed thinking up reasons why I should give Bryson another chance when he had already given up and said goodbye.

  We had said goodbye.

  So anything more would just be a formality.

  Or maybe…

  Maybe we weren’t done.

  Maybe there were actually more chapters of our story to be written.

  I picked up my phone with every intention of sending Bryson a sappy ass text, but I put it back down just as quickly.

  If I was really gonna go into the deep end, I’d at least have to sleep on it first.

  Bryson

  “Look, Bryson. I know you don’t really wanna do this, but I’m not exactly giving you a choice. It’s like a right of passage when someone does something big for our city and you know that, so I really don’t know why you’re being so hardheaded about it.”

  Leslie wasn’t even looking at me while she went to work on her phone as we rode the elevator together to the floor that the radio station was located. I had been in the studio before and was quite familiar with the host, but I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with anybody I didn’t absolutely have to. But according to Leslie, this was an absolute have to; especially after she had complained the whole drive over about how she sat through multiple mediation sessions with my lawyer and Nicole’s.

  So I shook hands, gave half-hugs, and set up in front of the microphone with my headset on like I was supposed to. I turned to Leslie ready to show her how annoyed I was, but she quickly gave me a thumbs up through the window before I could get the expression off.

  “We’re going live, people! In three... two…
”

  DJ Mix’m hopped on the mic, completely in character as he said, “And we’re back with a special guest in the house, a champion if you will, Mr. Bryson “MVP” Harris!” There was a fake round of applause before I got on the mic to say what’s up to the listening audience.

  “Now Bryson, first we gotta congratulate you and the squad on bringing the championship back to where it belongs here in Philly. But your performance in that final game was out of this world, bro. What got into you?”

  “Honestly man, that game is still a blur. People blew my phone up talking about how legendary it was and I’m like… I don’t even remember any of it.” I pushed out a laugh and Mix’m did the same.

  “That’s crazy! I can’t even ball like that in full focus and you’re out here doing it unconsciously!” I laughed again, this time a real one.

  “So has anything changed since you’ve became a two-time champion? I’m sure the ladies are showing you mad love.”

  “You know they are, man. But I only have eyes for one.” I could feel Leslie’s eyes burning through the back of my head, so I didn’t even bother turning around. Hell, she shouldn’t have asked me to do the interview if she didn’t expect me to be honest.

  But apparently that was like music to DJ Mix’m’s ears - literally - as he lit up to ask, “Oh word? So Mr. MVP has a special lady in his life?”

  “I wish. She’s not feeling me right now, but I hope she will again someday.” It was crazy that even after saying a pretty clear goodbye, I was still hopeful that Kennedy would somehow make her way back to me.

  “Aw man. So our champ is in the doghouse, huh?” He even cued in the fake boo’s.

  I couldn’t help but laugh as I replied, “Yeah, something like that. But if she is listening, I still wanna give her a little shoutout. Love you, Kenn baby.” Now came the fake awww’s.

  “You hear him, Kenn baby? The champ loves you. Go ahead and take him back so he can bring us another championship! Matter of fact, we got a song for that.” My headset was instantly filled with New Edition crooning, Can You Stand The Rain. I took it off, but could still hear the song faintly as it played through the studio.