What if I Fly?

by Conway, Jayne

  “Nice!” Avery snorts, “She’s been chasing my husband since the day we got married.”

  Julia grits her teeth, her fists clenched tight.

  That bitch.

  Well, the line has definitely been crossed! She flushes the toilet, opens the door to the bathroom stall and steps out, facing the two women. The scene greeting her on this side of the door is so different from the one Julia faced all those years ago at the infamous wedding.

  Back then the women were snide and superior and she felt humiliated. Now Julia sees two nervous women on the couch, and she’s holding all of the cards.

  “Mrs. Bennett! So nice to see you! Isn’t the show wonderful?” Lacey’s eyes are wide, her mouth slack. “How’s Dexter? Don’t forget, his project is due this week.”

  Avery rises and Julia sees the fear in her eyes. My, how the tables have turned!

  “Avery. Well, this is a surprise. You never learn, do you? Why don’t you tell your friend the truth about Will, or are you incapable of honesty?”

  Avery’s eyes narrow into slits, but she remains silent.

  “No? You don’t want to tell her?” She turns to Lacey, “Avery and Will are getting a divorce, Mrs. Bennett. They’ve been separated for months. And Will isn’t sterile.” Julia stares pointedly into Avery’s eyes, “We know that, don’t we, Ave?”

  “Julia…Don’t…” Avery takes a step forward, panic in her eyes.

  “Don’t? Don’t what?” Julia raises an eyebrow, her arms folded across her chest. She’s enjoying this way too much. “Oh, don’t worry, Ave, I won’t spill your dirty little secrets, that’s not my style. But don’t you dare spread lies about me and Will. Your friends may not believe me, but they’ll believe Will. And they’ll believe Sloane and Ellie. Their collective voice will be loud enough to destroy your precious reputation. So you might want to reconsider your approach to this situation, because I’m done with your bullshit.”

  Her face red with embarrassment, Avery walks toward the door, but Julia blocks her, shaking her head, “Oh, and do you remember that day, long before you were married, when you told me there was no way I’d end up with Will?” Julia raises an eyebrow and smirks, “I guess you were wrong.”

  Avery’s face falls, and Julia steps aside to allow her to make her escape. When the door closes, she leans back against the counter, rubbing her fingers over her temples, her head pounding, then remembers that Lacey is still in the bathroom. She’s standing beside the couch, staring at Julia, apparently in shock.

  “I’m sorry you had to see that, Mrs. Bennett. I hope you enjoy the rest of the show.”

  Over Christmas break Will and Julia plan a trip to Nantucket for a long weekend. He’s considering selling this house, but wants her to see it before he makes a decision. When Will first mentioned the trip, she was hesitant to stay at his place, not wanting to spend time in a home he shared with Avery, but he explained that Avery preferred to stay with friends when she was on the island. Will doesn’t associate Nantucket with Avery at all.

  Two days after Christmas, they take the ferry from Hyannis to Nantucket. Liam is staying with Will’s parents while they’re away. Whenever Will talks about this house, his face lights up. He’s proud of the work he’s done and she can’t wait to see it.

  He once said every ounce of frustration and anger he’s felt over the past two years has been worked out there, his oasis in the desert of his loveless marriage. Nantucket is the only place Will has felt some semblance of peace and he hopes she loves the island.

  Julia’s very excited, she’s never been to Nantucket before, but ever the proud history geek, she’s been reading up on it. The island has a rich history, and she’s eager to explore. The Athenaeum and Maria Mitchell’s Observatory are high on her list of places to see, as well as the village of Siasconset, which will be deserted this time of year.

  They brought the car with them so when the ferry docks two and a half hours later, they drive the short distance from the terminal to his house on Orange Street. It’s a sunny day, brisk, but beautiful.

  Main Street is paved with cobblestones from the eighteenth century and it’s a bumpy ride through town. Downtown Nantucket is decorated for the holiday season with dozens of Christmas trees lining the sidewalks in front of the shops, galleries and restaurants along Main Street, all but the pharmacy are closed for the winter.

  Will pulls into the driveway of his house. It’s typical of the area with weathered grey shingles, white trim, two chimneys, flowerboxes in each window, and boxwoods around the perimeter of the property.

  When he opens the heavy red wooden front door, she walks into the entryway and smiles. Behind the weathered façade is a sunny, cheerful space. Will preserved period details such as the worn wood beams crisscrossing the ceiling, wide plank wood floors, original crown molding and chair rails, and the classic six-over-six windows. A beautifully restored staircase leads upstairs.

  “Oh Will, it’s gorgeous.”

  He drops their bags and scoops her into his arms, carrying her to their bedroom on the second floor.

  “Aren’t you going to show me the rest of the house first?” she laughs.

  “No way. I love Liam to death, but I want to hear you cry out in ecstasy. I miss that sound.”

  “Do you?” she smiles seductively. “You like to hear me call out your name?”

  “I love to hear you come.”

  Will carries her to the bedroom where they impatiently shed their clothes, and are as loud as they want for several child-free, uninterrupted hours of bliss.

  Later that evening, Will stokes the fire in his t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Julia’s sitting up in bed, enjoying their picnic of bread, cheese and fruit, wearing Will’s flannel pajama top.

  “I have something for you…” he says turning toward her.

  “You do?” she smiles, popping a grape into her mouth.

  “Uh huh. A surprise.”

  Will reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a little black box and an envelope. Her heart stops and she brings her hands to her mouth.

  “Which one do you want first?” he sets them in front of her and climbs onto the bed. Liam’s handwriting is on the envelope. She bites her lip, then picks it up and looks into Will’s smiling eyes.

  “Go ahead, open it.”

  Julia slowly opens the letter and reads her son’s message aloud.

  “Deer Mommy. Daddy askd me for permishon to marry you.” Her eyes fill with tears and she looks up at Will. He’s grinning ear to ear. She continues, “I sed yes. I love you mommy and daddy. From, Liam.”

  “I’ve waited a long, long time to ask you this.” Will takes her hand in his, “Julia, I love you with everything I am. Will you marry me?” He opens the black box, but she can’t see anything through her tears. He could have made a ring out of a paperclip, she wouldn’t care. Her answer would be the same.

  “Yes.” Julia nods, her face glowing with happiness, “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  She laughs as he slips the antique ring onto her finger and she catches her first glimpse of it. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Julia softly kisses his lips and climbs onto Will’s lap, wrapping her arms and legs around him, holding him close.

  “I love you,” she whispers in his ear.

  “Always.”

  LANDING

  2004

  Epilogue

  Will and Liam are sitting at a café in the Piazza delle Erbe, waiting for Julia. They’ve been in Verona for the past five months and are enjoying a quiet afternoon together. Liam’s finishing second grade at the American School and Will’s kept himself busy fixing up their new place. A little while ago, they went shopping for groceries for dinner and are relaxing before they head back to the house.

  “Dad, is this the table you sat at with Mom before I was born?”

  “No, this is where I was sitting when I watched her writing in her journal over there.” He points to a table several feet away.

  “I always mix them up.”


  Will takes a sip of his espresso and his mouth puckers. He still hasn’t developed a taste for it. He grabs the empty coffee cup he requested, pours the espresso in and stirs some milk into the porcelain mug.

  “Dad,” Liam looks up from his book and laughs, “You know if you add milk it’s not espresso anymore. It’s a latte.”

  “Shhh…” He raises his finger to his lips, “Our secret.”

  “Wimp.” Liam shakes his head, and buries his nose back in his book.

  Will has immersed himself in renovating their new home. They purchased a farmhouse just outside of Verona four months ago and he’s restoring it with the help of Liam and a few local tradesmen. It needed a lot of work, but he loves doing it.

  When he restored the house in Nantucket, he did it to save his sanity. At the time he didn’t have a family to make a home for, and didn’t really believe he’d ever have one of his own. This experience has been so different. Their home in Italy is a labor of love.

  They came upon the farmhouse on one of their mystery rides through the countryside a month into their travels abroad. Julia spotted the ‘for sale’ sign near the stonewall that surrounds the property and out of curiosity they drove up the long winding driveway to see the house.

  It was love at first sight.

  The two-storied stone house is located on a hill and is surrounded by olive groves, wheat fields and cypress trees. They wandered the grounds and Liam couldn’t contain his excitement when he saw the in-ground pool located a short distance from the house. Off the pool area is a small guesthouse, and another stone outbuilding, beautiful gardens and a covered terrace for outdoor dining.

  It wasn’t the first house they looked at, but it would be the last. Julia called the real estate agent that night and they were given the tour the following day. By the end of the month, the farmhouse was theirs.

  The original structure was built in the fifteenth century and has been remodeled by different owners over the years. The ground floor was originally the stables and storage area, but has been renovated into an oversized living room with a stone fireplace, a dining room, and a connecting kitchen with another large fireplace.

  A stone staircase leads to the family quarters which includes another living area with stunning views of the countryside and the city just beyond, a master bedroom with an en-suite bathroom, three smaller bedrooms, and two additional bathrooms, that Will is in the process of remodeling.

  He’s highly motivated to finish the renovations and should be done with the majority of the work before the arrival of the newest addition to their family. He or she will be here soon!

  ***

  Julia enters the Piazza, her back aching from leaning over and writing letters for the past four hours. She resumed her duties as one of Juliet’s secretaries a few months ago. Today, she’s exhausted, but smiles as she walks toward Will and Liam, who have taken up residence at their ‘regular’ table near the fountain. She finds them here most days after her shift.

  Volunteering to answer the questions of the lovelorn masses is one of the most satisfying things she’s ever done. She loved doing this work before she returned to the United States, but now she feels truly qualified to offer advice on the topic of love.

  Will’s eyes light up as she makes her slow approach. She was so relieved when he quit his job at the equity firm after September 11th. He hated the work he’d been doing since college.

  Before they came to Italy, Will was buying and restoring old houses, selling them once he’d finished. He really didn’t care if he made much money off the sales, he loves doing the work, and she’s thrilled he found something he’s passionate about. She’s never seen him happier.

  Once he finishes their home here, he wants to continue building his business, whether here or in the States, they don’t know. Will was building a solid reputation for himself back home for the quality of his craftsmanship and for preserving the historic integrity of the few homes he’s renovated.

  “Hello sweetheart.” Will stands to greet her, kissing her lips and pulling out a chair.

  “What are you two up to today?” She ruffles Liam’s hair and leans over to kiss his head.

  “We’ve been up to no good, right Dad?”

  “No good at all.” Will shakes his head, his face serious.

  She smiles and leans back against the metal chair, wincing in pain.

  “Are you feeling all right?” Will asks, concern filling his eyes.

  She nods and smiles, her exhaustion evident.

  Will rests his hand on her stomach and rubs it in a circle. An elbow or shoulder or knee moves under his hand and she smiles watching Will’s eyes grow bright as the baby shifts inside her body, her stomach changing shape in the process.

  “It’s a miracle, Jules. We’ve made another baby.” He shakes his head in awe, then takes her hand and looks into her eyes. “I think it may be time for you to stop channeling Juliet for a little bit. You’re due in twelve days, babe.”

  She shifts in her seat, trying to get comfortable, but it’s hopeless.

  “I know. I told Mariana it’s time to take a break. I need a little rest before this package arrives.”

  When Julia found out they were having another baby, she wanted to be in Verona for sentimental reasons, and Will agreed. Her love affair with Italy is far from over and she wants her children to have dual citizenship.

  Once the baby is born they’ll split their time between Italy and the United States. They haven’t figured out the details yet, wanting to wait and see what works best for them as a family, then take it from there. They still own the house on Nantucket, and can stay with family when they’re in Rhode Island. Maybe they’ll buy a house there too? Who knows what the future holds? It’s ripe with possibilities.

  Over the past two weeks she’s found it increasingly difficult to do much of anything. She feels like a giant water balloon ready to explode. Her hands and feet are swollen, her back aches, she has to pee every five minutes, and her patience is non-existent.

  She doesn’t remember it being this difficult with Liam, but she was twenty-four then, not almost thirty-two. The last month of pregnancy is for the birds in her opinion.

  She was on the phone with Sloane the other day, sharing that very sentiment, and her sister-in-law couldn’t agree more. They’ve made peace with Sloane. She’s a different person since Peter died, and Julia and Ellie have grown close to her over the past two years.

  Little Peter is just over two years old now, and before he was born, Sloane sold their apartment in New York and decided to stay in Rhode Island to be near Peter’s family. They live in Bristol and spend a lot of time with his grandparents. Their baby grandson is the apple of their loving eyes.

  Will stands up and holds out his hands to help her to her feet and hugs her to him, rubbing her back.

  “I feel for you sweetie. We are having a baby, but you have to do all of the work.”

  “Yeah, yeah, spare me. If men had to go through this, the human race would be extinct,” she teases him.

  He’s been so good, trying to ease her load in whatever way he can. They’ve always been a good team, sharing household chores, but he insisted that he and Liam take over all home-related responsibilities over the past few months, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, tending the garden, washing and drying the dishes. They’ve been a huge help.

  Liam’s totally engrossed in his book and Will taps him on the shoulder.

  “Hey big guy, let’s pack up and take Mom home.”

  After dinner, Julia soaks in the big claw foot bathtub. Their neighbor Angela, a seventy-five year old widow who reminds them of Gram, has been very kind, delivering meals two or three times a week, sometimes joining them to dine, and giving Will cooking lessons while she’s working.

  Tonight, Will made a delicious chicken soup from scratch and served it with crusty Italian bread. He’s getting quite good under Angela’s tutelage. Julia hasn’t had much of an appetite this week, so tonight’s light meal
was perfect.

  This is her favorite time of day. She can hear Will and Liam in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner, and smiles as she lathers up the washcloth and rubs it over her body. In the water, she’s almost buoyant, the pressure of their growing baby temporarily alleviated.

  She’s ready to have this baby and reclaim her body. Julia hasn’t said anything to Will, but she started having mild contractions this morning. They’re more than fifteen minutes apart, but she’s having this baby in the next day or two. The minute she tells Will, he’ll become a mother hen, clucking over her, and jumping every time she winces.

  Will’s excitement over the baby is heartwarming. He missed this with Liam and doesn’t want to miss anything this time around. She still feels guilty for keeping Liam from him all of those years, no matter how understanding he’s been. They both feel it was the right thing for her to do under the circumstances, but still…

  After Julia confronted Avery at the play, Will’s ex-wife left town and moved to northern California, telling her lawyer to quickly settle the divorce, waiving her right to alimony. Maybe Avery thought Julia would spread rumors about her, and this was her way of shutting her up? She wouldn’t have done that, no matter how much she’d love to tear that woman’s reputation to shreds. She’s just grateful Avery’s out of their lives for good.

  Will enters the bathroom and sits on the stool next to the tub. He’s accompanied Julia to all of her doctor appointments, gets teary-eyed every time he hears the baby’s heartbeat, and stared in wonder while they did the ultrasound. He’s smitten.

  They chose not to find out the sex of the baby before the delivery, but she has a feeling it’s a girl. This pregnancy has been so different.

  Her husband holds her hand, gazes at her body, and grins.

  “You’re staring.” She looks at him, eyebrow raised.