by Nhys Glover
Standing by, shivering and mindless, I watched Jaron urge the airlings to sit with their heads together and their bodies a little apart. With a gale-force, snowy wind to contend with, Jaron wrestled the triangular hide cover over both airlings backs. I could see what he was attempting to do, but the wind was too strong. The ends of the hide kept being torn from his grip before he could tie them down to the airlings shoulder horns.
Wanting to help, I lifted my numbed hand, willing the windswept snow to curve around us. It responded sluggishly, then petered out. I focused harder, using all of my energy. I knew my pregnancy was causing problems with my magic, but this was too much. Focus! Find the still place within and focus!
The relief when it obeyed me was immediate.
Jaron looked at me in surprise, as if he'd forgotten who I was and what I could do. But his surprise gave way to focused endeavour as he began throwing the covering across the airlings shoulders again, tying the ends with rope to each airling, and then allowing the one lose end to fall between the large creatures. Finally, with the wild snow beating at my faltering, airy bulwark, he hammered a metal pin into the loose end and the frozen ground with a rock.
"Come here, quickly!" Jaron yelled, his words almost lost to the blizzard. White surrounded us on all sides. Only my will kept its full force off us. But I couldn't hold it back any longer.
I staggered over to him and lumbered under the edge of the hide. Already-damp blankets followed me in, and I quickly wrapped one around me. The little dark shelter was warmer than outside, but I was still freezing. I wondered absently if I was suffering from shock as well as cold.
Jaron scrambled in after the blankets. He sat a few large rocks along the edges of the hide, where we'd entered. They would help keep out the wind that was once more whistling around us, battering at the airlings and at our makeshift shelter.
"Are you all right?" he finally asked, settling in close beside me and wrapping the other blanket around himself and me.
Tears, which had previously turned to ice on my cheeks, now began to pour forth in earnest. Jaron groaned and put his arm around me. His warm, hard body, which smelled so familiar and welcome, was just what I needed to let go completely. I cried in earnest about everything that had happened with Airshin, Flea and Calun, the storm, my fears of being abandoned by everyone I loved, my panic at having too much to shoulder. I was only eighteen suncycles old, yet the future of the world rested with me. And how could I do what was required of me when I hobbled about like a bloated hopling? An ugly, bloated hopling that couldn't stop blubbering.
When the flow of tears finally eased, Jaron stopped stroking my hair and lifted my chin instead. I hadn't even been aware he'd been stroking it until he stopped. It was dark in our little shelter, but not so dark that we couldn't make out each other's face.
"Have you snotted up my tunic?" he asked in mock annoyance.
It was so unexpected that I burst out laughing. It was what he'd wanted, of course, and he laughed with me, handing me a rag that passed as a kerchief. I blew my nose and wiped my eyes on it.
"Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" he asked gently, stroking my hair again as I lay my still-damp cheek on his shoulder.
"Calun attacked me. In my head. He was like Rama is when he's protecting someone he loves. Calun loves Flea. I knew it, but I didn't want to believe it. You probably all side with her over me. Probably all think I'm a stupid, fat witch who refuses to see her prick of a brother for what he is. And won't let him be put to death.
"I just can't understand why you would all turn on me so suddenly and completely like that. I know Flea has been −"
"Sweetling," Jaron interrupted. "No one thinks Airshin should be put to death. No one is siding with Flea over you, Calun least of all. And he wasn't attacking you."
"How do you know? You weren't in our heads. He was furious with me for poor little Flea. His big fat wife was screeching at the poor little girl and he couldn't help but defend her. If he'd had a jug he'd have bashed my brains out." I realised that wasn't true. Gentle Calun would never hurt me physically. "In my head he'd do it. Not physically," I amended grudgingly.
"Are you the only one who's allowed to get angry with people?" Jaron asked gently.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're pretty quick to show your anger. I remember you throwing me onto my back when you got good and mad at me. Did that mean you didn't love me? Or loved me less?"
I remembered the big fight we'd had at the cavern. Sexual frustration, and living so close for so long, had combined with inactivity and worry to fuel a huge fight. We'd yelled at each other, and I'd ended up throwing him on the ground. I was beside myself when I thought I'd broken his back.
"Of course not." I said quickly. "I blow up. That's what I do. That's what I did with Flea when she hinted Airshin had to die."
"And Calun did the same thing: blew up, defending someone he sees as weaker than you. Not because he loves her more, but because that's who he is, what he does: takes the side of the weaker one in any fight. He told you off, that's all. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, or her more than you.
"If he'd had time to think about it he wouldn't have done it. He knows how... over-emotional you are with the babes right now. Darkin explained it all to Calun and me when you started getting like this. He and Rama remembered how Ma was. So we understand. Calun just reacted without thinking. Which is easy to do when you're like you two are, inside each other's heads all the time. You can't temper your reactions like you can with words and actions."
I sniffed back more tears. They had discussed me? They thought I was over-emotional? They should try being the size of a barn for a while and see who'd be over-emotional! My ankles had swollen up, and I couldn't even see my feet. I wanted to pee all the time. The babes were always awake when I wanted to sleep, and I was just so tired. How dare they criticise me for having reached the end of my tether. I didn't ask to be pregnant. I had never wanted to be a mother! And on top of all that I had my twin sniping at me every chance he got. And when I tried to defend him, the men who were supposed to support me turned on me. Attacked me.
My shoulders shook as a fresh wave of sobs broke free. Jaron groaned and rubbed my back.
"What did I say that upset you? I knew I was the wrong one to come after you. I can make you laugh, but when you get all dark and Rama-ish I haven't any idea how to pull you out of it."
"You drew straws to see who came after me? You drew the short straw again?" I sobbed.
He growled in frustration. "No, it wasn't like that. We were all racing for the door the minute you slammed it, but Darkin said we couldn't all go. He wanted to come, but he said I should go because I was good at cheering you up. So here I am, cheering you up. Are you cheered up yet?"
"A little," I admitted, a smile trying to form on my lips. "The snotty comment was funny."
"You don't need a comedian. You need someone who can explain things better. Darkin should've come."
I reached up and patted his shoulder. "No, I'm glad it was you. Dark would have made me feel like a naughty child. Calun... well, I would have made Bay go faster if I'd seen him. And Rama... I probably would have done the same with him. I'd have been sure he'd come after me to chew me out. He's good at that."
"Yet you don't think he loves you any less when he does it," Jaron said it as a statement not a question. We all knew that Rama and I had a fiery relationship.
"No. But he's not Calun. Calun is always loving and kind to me. Always. Even when I treat him badly, he's kind to me."
"Don't you handle abuse directed at you better than when it's directed at someone weaker than yourself?"
I sighed heavily. That was exactly what I did. I could see what he meant. Calun could be kind to me when I attacked him, but not when I attacked Flea.
"And right now the others are trying to stop him going out into this blizzard after you. He's probably calling himself every name under the sun in his head and putting his
fist through a wall as well. Basically doing a Rama." He gave a half-groan, half-laugh, and then changed tack fast.
"What were you thinking? Didn't you see how fast the blizzard was blowing in?" It was the first time he had actually criticized me for being stupid. And now I'd calmed down enough to realise what I'd done, I did feel stupid. If Jaron hadn't gotten to me when he did, we'd all be dead by now.
"How did you have time to pack all this in a bag?" I asked curiously, to distract myself from my own near miss and to ignore his question.
He let me. "We've had an emergency pack ready since winter arrived. It's what we do every winter. And we've trained our airlings to sit like this for their warmth and ours. That was another reason Calun couldn't come. His new airling hasn't been trained to do this." He indicated how our furry walls huddled together, allowing just enough space for us to snuggle in between them.
"I'm sorry I ran off like that. Everything is just... just getting to me. I hate that it's true, but having Airshin with us makes everything so much worse. He as good as called me a whore the other morning. I fired back at him, and it hurt to do it. But he wears at me. At my already worn nerves." Tears pricked at my eyelids again, but I fought them down. Enough was enough. I was done crying.
"We know that. That's half the reason for our meeting today. We hate seeing how he treats you, and not being able to stop him because you're protecting him. He doesn't deserve your protection, Sweetling. Rama says we can knock him into shape, but I don't agree. I think he's already too far gone for that. He has to go."
"But what if Flea's right? What if he is spying for Father, and he goes back to tell them where we are and what our plans are?"
Jaron said nothing for a few moments. When he spoke again his voice was gravelly. "So you do believe Flea?"
"I don't not believe her. I'm not stupid enough to put my trust in Airshin when so many lives hang in the balance. But he can't die just because we don't trust him."
"Then he won't. We'll move him down to the dormitories and keep our eye on him. If he makes one move to undermine you, leave, or send a message to the enemy, then we'll act."
"Not for undermining me," I argued weakly. "He'll be dead by tomorrow. He just can't help himself. His hatred of me runs deep. Far deeper than I imagined. But hating me isn't punishable by death."
"But undermining the Goddess with her followers is. And he was warned."
Chapter Seventeen
AIRSHA
We settled in to wait out the blizzard. Such storms came and went fairly quickly in this part of the world, so Jaron informed me. I had never experienced anything like it. But then, inside the harem the ravages of the seasons rarely touched us. Though I was fairly certain that Godslund never experienced severe weather like this.
Warm and dry, with the steady breathing of the airlings as the one constant, I quickly relaxed. Only then did I become aware of Jaron's erection. Immediately my own arousal spiked in response.
"Do you know how often I regret that we never spent the time we had in the cavern making love. It was the perfect place for it," I said softly.
"Me too. But then, I'd be the father of those two in there and I'm not sure I'd make the best father."
"Mayhap neither of us are meant to be perfect parents. Lucky we have Dark and Calun. They'll make up for what we lack."
"You'll be a wonderful mother, Sweetling. Maybe not the kind of mother whose life revolves around her childlings, but you will love them and teach them to be all they can be. And you'll protect them against..." The guilty look on his face gave away his next words.
"Against their own father?" I finished for him. "It won't come to that. Rama will fall in love with both his childlings. And as he learns to be a father he'll heal. I Know it."
"I hope you're right. But if you aren't, I know you'll protect them. As the rest of us will."
I kissed his cheek, not wanting to get caught up in any more angst. I wanted to share pleasure with my youngest husband and mayhap laugh a little too.
"Jaron, Sweetling," I cajoled sweetly. "Do you want to cheer me up? That was what you were sent to do, wasn't it?"
I saw the slow smirk form on his shadowed features. "That I was. How might I do that, do you think?"
I cocked my head to the side, as if thinking. I didn't have to think. I knew exactly what I wanted.
"Mayhap you could ease my aching breasts a little?" I coaxed.
A big hand came up and cupped one swollen and tender breast. He found the nipple through the cloth and tweaked it.
"Like this?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave to a sexy drawl.
"Mmm, sort of. But mayhap a little more. I'm warm enough now that I could possibly..."
He undid the wrap-around gown I wore so my breasts became visible. "Gods' balls, I love how these look now." His head dropped to one breast and he licked along the curve until he reached the nipple. When his hot, wet mouth closed around the sensitive point, I nearly jumped off the ground. My head fell back to rest against the furry side of my airling, as I enjoyed the laving motion of Jaron's tongue. When he sucked on it hard I nearly came apart. My nipples had always been sensitive, but now they were even more so.
A babe took that moment to make its presence known. It kicked Jaron. Although barely a nudge, of course, Jaron hammed it up. His head jerked back, hand to his jaw, eyes wide with exaggerated pain.
"Rama's son seems to be unimpressed by my ministrations," he said, as if he was afraid of the child.
"Not frightened of a babe, are you, big man?" I teased, wondering how it was possible to go from the depths of despair one moment to being this amused in the next.
"He's got a mighty kick on him," he said, pointing at my bobbing middle.
"Actually, I think it's my daughter protecting my honour. Mayhap you should win her over by paying her a little attention, before you go on with cheering me up."
"All right, now that's making me feel uncomfortable. It's one thing performing with my brothers as audience, it's another with childlings watching."
I laughed, taking pity on him. "Jaron, they are safe in their own little worlds, not even aware of us as much more than background noise, like... well... like we are aware of the airlings right now. Your performance will not be viewed by anyone but me. Won't that be a novelty?"
"Having you all to myself, you mean? Hmmm, I'm not sure I can be enough for you on my own." He was joking, but there was a raw note in there that made me wonder.
"You are more than enough for me. I nearly came as you sucked one nipple. I'm afraid of what might happen if you do more."
He laughed. "Be afraid, be very afraid. I'm going to make you beg for mercy by the time I'm finished with you. I'm going to do things to you that you've never experienced before. You'll be screaming my name and begging for more. You−"
"Jaron," I interrupted his boasting.
"Yes, Sweetling?"
"If you don't stop talking and get on with it, the storm will be over."
"Yes, Sweetling. As the Goddess requires."
He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply. There was no humour in the kiss, just passion. When his tongue invaded, I sucked on it. He groaned and his hips jerked against my side.
Laying me down, my head pressed on either side by warm fur, Jaron began working his way down my body, kissing and licking and nibbling as he went. When he reached my maidenhair he nuzzled at it with his nose, breathing me in and moaning.
"Do you know your scent has changed?" he growled out. "It's even more arousing. I can't get enough of it, or you. Do you know how often I go off on my own and imagine the scent of you, the feel of you here," he slid his nose into the slick folds and over my pleasure nub. "And get myself off?"
Listening to him describe what he did was almost as stimulating as his touch. I was so close... so very close.
"How often," I moaned, urging him to do more by tilting my hips.
"A couple of times a day at least."
"Do you wish you had
more of me?" I asked, as his tongue slipped in and began to lave my pleasure nub. I was so close, but I wanted an answer before I'd let myself release.
"Always. But are you asking do I wish I was your only husband? Sometimes. But usually when you're torturing me by making me stay in the room while my brothers pleasure you."
"That is your choice. You know I don't agree with this idea you all have about protecting me. I'm not replete until I've had all of you."
"So having just me..."
"Is different. I imagine I will be quite replete when you have finished making me scream your name."
He chuckled. "I hope this is a long blizzard. I want to make the most of having you all to myself." His tongue returned to its ministrations and I immediately came apart on a soft cry.
Fingers invaded my channel. "Not nearly loud enough, Sweetling. I want to hear you over the blizzard." He wriggled his fingers so he was stimulating the spot directly behind my pleasure nub, which he was now sucking on.
The next release was fast and even more intense, and I arched my back and cried out, digging my fingers into his long brown hair.
When I came down he said, "Better. Almost what I'm after."
I moaned in complaint, already feeling satiated. Yet I wouldn't say no to more, especially if it meant having him inside me. I felt empty and needy.
I pulled on his hair until he was forced to slide up my body and our mouths fused once more. It was my turn to thrust inside him, and I did so while I wrestled his cock out of his breeches. When my hands closed greedily over the hot velvety skin, I moaned from the tactile thrill.
"If you want me to scream your name, you will have to be inside me. Deep inside me for that."
One of the logistics we had discovered as my pregnancy went on was that normal positions didn't work so well. I could still be on my hands and knees, but not comfortably. What I enjoyed was to lie on my back, my hips lifted onto my husband's thighs and his cock sliding in and out of me without my belly getting in the way. It made me feel exposed as no other position could, and I felt claimed in the most primitive of ways.
