by Quinn, Vera
“Maddie girl, why didn’t you come to me for help? Don’t you know I would kick Dra’s ass for the stunts he’s pulled the last few weeks?” Krill pulls me into his arms. I go willingly. I need my best friend. I start to cry, and I’m a blubbering mess. “Don’t cry, sweet girl. He’s not worth of your tears. I just want to kill him.” I try to pull myself together. I can’t make Krill hate his brother. Krill has enough on his plate.
“No, you wouldn’t. Dra is your brother. What have you heard about Cage? Are you any closer in getting your rights to see him?” I ask Krill. I would really like to meet his son. We have all been waiting for the day that Krill could bring him to see us. I back up and let Krill in the door. I walk over to the sofa and sit down. Krill walks the rest of the way in the room and shuts the door. Krill walks over and sits beside me.
“My case was postponed until Monday, but the judge is tired of all the stalling. What has been going on, and why haven’t you contacted me?” Krill is the same as always, more concerned for others than himself. His brother could learn from him. “How’s Lucas? I’m not sure what colic is, but that’s what Maudi says he has. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I haven’t wanted to distract you from court and what you’re doing. You can’t fix the problems between Dra and me. They’re not fixable. He’s been cheating and that’s something that I won’t put up with for any reason. There’s no excuse for it. I have never used sex as a weapon or told your brother no even when I should have, which may be the reason that I may be pregnant again and Lucas is barely three months old.” Krill starts laughing. “What’s so damn funny?”
“I’m laughing with you so neither of us will cry. Life is fucked up for us both right now. Dra was brought up for a vote today for breaking the club rules so when he gets home, he’s going to look rough. Hopefully it will knock some sense into his damn head.” I was wondering how long it would take or if he would get away with what he was doing. I know most of the club rules and I know when Krill says, ‘look rough’, he means Dra is going to have bruises and he’s warning me so I can keep B from seeing her dad. I don’t know what Krill wants me to say but I won’t lie to my best friend.
“I won’t be here when Dra gets back home. My SUV is in the garage and packed up. As soon as I can get Lucas and B loaded up, then we are on our way to Texas and I won’t be coming back. Dra will hear from my attorney and we’ll need to come to a custody agreement. I don’t think he’ll even fight me over it. Dra isn’t interested in being a father or a husband. Dra told me to get an abortion if I am pregnant and that was after he told me he’s been cheating on me for the last few weeks. He came here wanting me to have sex with him and Banger at the same time.” I know I should be filtering myself. I shouldn’t unload all this on Krill, but I am just so full of pain that it all comes out. I won’t let myself cry another tear. I won’t allow it. “That son of a bitch can have all the whores he wants, but he won’t be touching me ever again and don’t make excuses for him, because there are no excuses. I’m getting as far away from Colorado as I can get but I’m not running. I’m ready to fight that bastard any day but I am going to do it from my home where I can be surrounded by people that love me and my children.”
“Ouch, what am I? I love you just like you were my sister and those two children are as much mine as Cage is. You don’t need to leave. I’ll make sure Dra keeps his distance and you can get a divorce and take every damn thing he owns. If I had known what was going on, I would have been here to support you. I’ve been a bad friend and a worse brother-in-law. Maddie, you’re not only leaving Dra if you leave Colorado.” I look at Krill and I know this man means every word he’s saying. He’s always been a man of his word. “When I get Cage, I want you to be a part of our lives along with B and Lucas. It’s hard to do that all the way in Texas.”
“Krill, I love you like a brother, but I need to go back to Texas and start over. I can’t do that here. Dra has already said he won’t let me go until he is ready. He wants me and the kids out of his house and in an apartment in town. After the things he said to me today, I know we are done. The day he fucked another woman and broke our wedding vows he sealed that deal.” Krill looks shocked.
“What the hell has happened in the last few months? You’ve bleached your hair, the clothes you’re wearing are not you and that mouth of yours. My Maddie doesn’t cuss like a damn sailor. What did Dra do to you?” I shake my head at Krill. I need to get out of here. I am wasting time.
“I don’t have time to answer all those questions. I need to get on the road before Dra decides to come home with Banger.” Krill pats my hand.
“There’s no hurry. Dra and Banger are on lockdown at the clubhouse. Dra missed church and there was a vote. Those two won’t be going anywhere until I give the alright to let them go. What is this crap about sharing you with Banger? Dra would never share you with any man.” I laugh at Krill.
“That’s not what he said to me in our kitchen a few hours ago. In fact, he wanted to share me with Banger today and then next time we could have another woman with us. Banger wanted to seduce me or that’s what he said because I was too uptight to participate in their little games. Then Dra informed me that he’s been having sex with one of the club girls, but I already knew, I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. He stayed gone overnight and came home with hickeys all over him. His clothes smell like cheap perfume and there’s lipstick on his shirts. He has even been short with B the last week and yelling at her. I won’t put up with it. Krill, please, if I mean anything to you at all give me a twenty-four-hour head start. That’s all I ask, please.” I know I’m begging, but I need this to get out of Colorado.
“We’ll keep Dra on lockdown but promise me that when you get back to Texas, you’ll stay in touch. As soon as I can, I’ll come out for a visit and maybe by then I can bring Cage with me so you can meet each other.” I hate putting Krill in this position, but I don’t have a choice.
“Let me send one of the brothers with you so I know that you’re safe,” Krill offers.
“We’ll be just fine as long as I know I have that head start. I’ll call Callie as soon as I leave here to let her know I’m on the road. I don’t want Deb or Micah to know until I’m there. Will you help me get loaded the rest of the way?” I ask my friend. I know Krill is torn about what he’s doing. I get up and go to the kitchen and grab a bag from there. “B, go potty real fast so we can leave,” I say so my daughter will hear in her room. “Will you get B in her car seat while I change Lucas?” Krill gets up and I know this is going to be a hard goodbye, but I know what I am doing is the right thing. I can take care of me and my children as long as I have my family around me. I go and get my son so we can face this long trip as a family.
Chapter Three
Bethany
I watch as Cage tenses up when his mom and Rico walk in the front door. We had been having an enjoyable time playing checkers, but the game is soon forgotten.
“Go to your room, kid, we have business to discuss,” Rico yells at Cage. I pat Cage’s hand as he looks at me. Cage has become very protective of me since Rico no longer cares if Cage sees him when he gets physical with me. At one time, Rico would wait until Cage was out of the room but the last time Rico was here, he backhanded me with Cage sitting right beside me. I have begged Cage if it ever happens again to never say a word. I think Cage was so shocked when it happened that he knew to stay quiet. If Rico ever crosses the line and hits Cage, it will never stop. I won’t let that happen. I would kill Rico myself, first.
Rico was extremely agitated the last time he was here. I mean anytime Rico is around I’m on guard but for some reason the last time he was here it was worse. It’s the only time that Rico has ever left a mark that could be seen. I still wear a yellowing mark under my eye from it. Jen wasn’t with him that day, but I see the bruises on Jen’s arms to show she didn’t escape Rico’s wrath either, or maybe the marks were left from her latest man. It wouldn’t be the first time. I don�
��t know what happened to Jen.
Jen was once full of happiness and laughter. She was the best oldest sister a girl could ask for. Our ma took off when I was a small baby, so Jen practically raised me. First it was her and our brother Rico, they were both different people then, and I guess that’s why it’s still hard for me to ever see myself betraying either one of them. They were like my parents the first years of my life. Dad loved me and I knew that, but he was busy running the Spirits of Arms MC, and he was never home. It was when I was big enough to go with my dad that he and I bonded as father and daughter. When I was small, Rico and Jen were who I wanted when I was sick, sad, or scared. As Rico got older, he was on the road with the club and Jen and I were so close. Then Jen started high school, and she met Krill and he was there with us or we were at his house. Krill may have been Jen’s boyfriend, but he was mine too. To this day, I still get that starry-eyed first crush feeling when I see him.
Then things changed. Dad was gone. Rico turned into a monster who had to have control over everything that Jen and I did, including who we were around. Rico just said things were changing in the club; the way they should have always been. I never knew how they were, and I didn’t understand the changes that were taking place. Dad sheltered Jen and I from the club business, but Rico was always bringing club brothers to our house and talking business in front of us. Then Rico decided that Krill and Jen were finished and if Jen was loyal to her family that she would listen. Jen cried, yelled, but in the end, Jen let Rico have his way. Krill’s dad agreed with Rico that the two clubs shouldn’t mix. Krill fought it at first just as Jen had, but then one day it was just over. I just didn’t understand it. Jen and Krill loved each other so how could they just give up? I was naïve. I understand now that club life is never simple and a lot of times, nothing is as it seems.
Jen cried for weeks after Krill was gone. I thought it was because she was sad she had to break up with the love of her life, but I found out it was because she found out she was pregnant and Rico wouldn’t let her have an abortion. I heard Rico tell Jen that he finally had the upper hand in the fight with the Troubled Fathoms MC and in time, he would get the territory he wanted using Krill’s child to get it. That’s the day that I knew my brother was indeed a monster. It took a while for me to realize that Jen was going along with his plan, and my eyes were opened that Jen wasn’t the sister that I once had. I don’t know if it was losing Dad or Krill, but I knew something had turned my sister into Rico’s accomplice in some very shady dealings. He used her and her body to get him power over men he wanted to bring to their knees. I swore that I would never change that way, and I think what has kept me sane is taking care of Cage.
The day that Jen brought Cage home from the hospital, she put Cage in my arms, and I have been his caretaker ever since. I wouldn’t trade a second of my time with Cage for a ton of gold. He is a complete delight and as I see him grow older and become his own person, I am so proud of him. He is so smart, and his curiosity makes him seek out answers to things that I have never even thought of. He looks so much like his dad and as of late he has the same protective streak in him as Krill. He carries his dad’s middle name and that’s the one thing that Rico has given in to me about. When Jen brought Cage home, she still hadn’t named him. Rico named him Cage because he said that Cage would remain in his cage until he’s needed and can be used to the best advantage. I insisted on Shylo, and for some reason Rico thought that would be a big middle finger to Krill when he finds out about his son. I don’t even try to understand the hate that must be driving Rico. It has poisoned his very soul.
Jen on the other hand has for the most part become Rico’s puppet, but then I’ll see a glint in her eyes that looks like pure evil. She has no maternal instincts at all and every time I try to get Cage closer to her in any way, Jen shuts down. I think it hurts her to even look at him. Rico is cold toward Cage and treats him like a meal ticket and sometimes I think Jen hates the sight of Cage. I would never say that out loud. It hurts me to think it. Cage is Jen’s flesh and blood son and the love should come naturally, but it’s just not there.
If I could betray my brother and sister, I would have stolen Cage away from this place years ago. That’s the one thing our dad always said—blood is everything.
“Did you hear what I said to you or has staying with that kid made you stupid? I think it’s about time I separate the two of you.” I hear Rico’s words, but I know that he would never forbid me to see Cage because that’s the only reason why I still listen to what Rico says. It’s the only way I can protect Cage.
“What is it that you want from me, Rico?” I ask my brother.
“Do you see this, Jen? I have been talking to this stupid little bitch for ten minutes and she has heard nothing I’ve said.” Jen smiles at Rico while going through the refrigerator looking for some type of alcohol to drink. I don’t keep alcohol in the apartment. Jen and Rico are both mean drunks, so I dumped the stuff as soon as they leave. I didn’t want any alcohol left for them to drink when they returned.
“Why is the wine always gone when I come back over? I know you’re too much of a Goody Two-shoes to drink while you have Cage here,” Jen sneers. I ignore Jen’s question.
“Just tell me what you want, Rico, so I can do it and you two can leave us alone,” I tell my brother, knowing that I am walking a fine line here. I don’t want to be Rico’s punching bag today.
“I have a decision to make about your future and it will be made very soon, so you better be ready for some changes and one of those changes is that you will no longer be in charge of Cage. I don’t want you running to that boy and making things harder on him. You will do that if he doesn’t do what he’s told and when he’s told. He may not play into my plan and that makes him expendable, and you know what happens to people that displease me,” Rico says with venom in his voice. He knows I will do whatever it takes to keep Cage safe. Rico is pacing the floor, and I can see that he is high on something. That makes him more dangerous because that’s when he lets his evil side be seen to anyone around him. I look at Jen now, and I see the glassy look in her eyes too. They’re both on something. With the way our ma ran off and left us for her next high, I don’t know how either my sister or brother could touch drugs. They do nothing but destroy a person. I look at Jen and I see that she’s looking older than her years and her skin looks sallow. Jen was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen just a few years ago, but her partying has put the years on her. She’s lost the soft curves she once had, and she is pencil thin. A big gust of wind might blow her away. She has sores on her arms that look like she has scratched raw. Her hair has lost its beautiful luster and it looks stringy and oily. She has the same look my ma had before she left us.
I look at Rico and he was once a good-looking Hispanic man with black wavy hair and dark beautiful eyes full of life. Rico has always looked like our dad, where Jen and I got our fair looks from our ma. I always envied Rico for those dark looks but he’s a shell of the man he once was. I know other women always thought my brother was sexy. They hung on his every word, but in my mind, he was and always will just be my brother. My dad was the same way, and I think it’s what left my ma with so many insecurities.
Rico has always been fit and he may not be six feet tall, but he is close. The six-pack he was always proud to show off is gone now and his clothes hang on him. Rico always took pride in his looks, but he doesn’t seem to care about much these days but the power he is hungry for. I think the drugs and alcohol are clouding his judgment.
“Tell our good sister the decisions that you are making for her. It’s time your decisions fuck with someone else’s life besides mine,” Jen says as she slams the refrigerator door.
“Shut your trap, bitch. I should have let Cassius sell your ass ages ago. You’re nothing but a used-up hole now. You’ve put so much powder up that nose that you don’t pull your share and that will be coming to an end. Don’t mess this up for us, Jen, or it will be the last time that you scr
ew up.” I feel sorry for Jen. Rico is being intentionally cruel to her. He knows just how to shove that knife further in. Jen has changed but she still has this need to be needed by our brother. She lives for his approval. I gave up on either of their approval a long time ago. I just want to survive and keep Cage safe and happy.
“I need to get started on Cage’s dinner so he can get in bed for school tomorrow.” That gets Rico’s attention and he walks up to me and just stares down at me. I look him in the eyes. I see nothing of my brother left there. That’s when I make my mistake. I glance down at the floor to get my eyes anywhere but on my brother, and I don’t realize my first mistake until I feel the pain and I bend over to catch my breath and try to keep from throwing up. The pain in my stomach where Rico has punched me has my eyes blurring. I didn’t move and that was my second mistake because Rico kicks me in the leg with his heavy black biker boots. I stumble away from him, but he catches me and throws me against the wall. My body slides down the wall, but I know better than to stay down. I get up the best I can and move as far away from Rico as I can. I hear the bedroom door open. I look that direction. Cage is standing in the door with tears in his eyes as he looks at me. “Look at me when I am before you!” Rico yells at me and then he turns his attention to Cage. “What the hell do you want?” Rico moves to go toward Cage, but I move as fast as I can in front of Cage. I look down at him.
“Go back in our room, Cage, please. Don’t come back out.” Cage grabs my arms. I push him back in the room and shut the door as I feel someone grab my hair. I am jerked back and thrown against the sofa. I bounce back off the cushions just as Rico turns the doorknob on the bedroom door.
