Letting Go

by Ann O'Leary

  Within minutes, Tony burst into her office. “Thank Christ you’re here,” he said. “Where’ve you been?” He paused then and looked hard at her. “What happened to you? You look like shit!”

  “Thanks a lot,” Laura said as she lit a cigarette then gulped down more strong coffee. “And who on earth is the bubble-gum baby out front?”

  Tony sat down in the other chair beside Laura’s desk. Looking uncomfortable, he explained, “Well, I was talking to a mate of mine and I was saying how we needed an assistant, and…well, he said his daughter could do that with no problems. Apparently she’s had trouble getting a job. So I, well…you know…what could I say?”

  Selecting the right staff was not one of Tony’s talents and it had been agreed that she would be the one to make those sorts of choices.

  Laura snapped at him, “You could’ve told him you’d discuss it with your partner. And it’s no fucking wonder she’s had difficulty finding a job.”

  The most outstanding thing about Jodie, apart from her expertise at blowing bubbles, was her spiky green-tipped hair. She wore very dark lipstick, almost black, with heavy black eyeliner, exaggerating a ghostly pale face. Laura had glimpsed black leggings under a tight, short red sleeveless 13

  stretch dress which matched her red platform shoes. Tony looked sheepish and mumbled, “Yeah, well, I didn’t know she looked like that, did I?” Laura just stared at him.

  “Can’t we just give her a few days? If she’s hopeless, we’ll get rid of her, okay?”

  “Yes, and it’ll be my job to fire her, I suppose!” She glanced away from him quickly but knew he would have seen the tears that had sprung to her eyes.

  “Do you want to talk about what’s wrong, mate?” he asked gently.

  She concentrated on her hand as she twisted the gold ring around her finger, trying to maintain her composure.

  “Debbie and I have separated, and I’m a bit of a mess today. I’ll be fine once I’ve got this work done for the meeting.”

  “Oh shit, mate, I’m sorry.” He stood, looking helpless.

  “Aah…right. Well, I’ll leave you to it…” He turned to leave.

  “Oh by the way, have you got the finished artwork back from the typesetters yet?”

  Laura remembered with a jolt that it should have been here first thing. She should have checked on it as soon as she arrived. “God, no. It’s not here yet.”

  “No worries, mate, I’ll chase it up,” Tony said as he closed the door. Laura mentally kicked herself for not being more meticulous. She was usually very organized, but lately her worries about Debbie had often disrupted her concentration.

  Within forty-five minutes, Laura had everything ready. She’d found ten minutes to put on her make-up and perfume, and she felt like she was back in control. She rang Jodie and asked her to organize coffee for the presentation and to expect Mr. Giraldi from Pasta Masta Foods. “Tony will show you how to set everything up,” she added, smiling 14

  to herself. Then there was a knock at her door. Thank God, Kate’s here with the artwork, she thought.

  Kate Merlo was a commercial artist who worked for a small typesetting, company which serviced the advertising business. She was employed as a typesetter but was often called upon to create whole layouts. Laura had a great deal of regard for Kate’s work. She was talented, and Laura always asked for her personally on all Adwork’s jobs. It didn’t hurt either that she was a dyke and very attractive at that. Laura liked Kate and considered her efficient and friendly. Her interest ended there.

  It was an entirely different situation for Kate. Her eyes had locked onto Laura the first time they’d met a year ago, and Kate thought she was absolutely gorgeous. She loved working with Laura and always looked forward to her jobs with Adworks. Her attraction to Laura had increased over time, to the point where she thought about her and fantasized about her constantly. But she lacked the confidence to do anything about it. She also doubted that Laura, whom she considered a sophisticated woman in her thirties, would be at all interested in a twenty-three-year-old.

  “Hi Kate,” said Laura with her dazzling smile, as she opened the door. “I’m running a bit behind this morning, so we’ll have to check through everything quickly. I’m sure it’ll be perfect, though, as usual.”

  She motioned Kate to sit at the desk while they checked the layouts. She stood and leaned close to Kate as Kate pointed out certain details to her. Laura was clearly oblivious to the effect she was having on Kate. Kate was finding it hard to concentrate with her face inches from Laura’s 15

  breasts. Breathing in the perfume, listening to her voice purring just above her head and watching her manicured hand pointing to things on the page, more than once Kate hesitated when her mouth went dry, and she ached to touch Laura. She kept drifting off and imagining herself kissing the sexy mouth that was so tantalizingly close. All too soon, Laura was saying, “The work’s terrific, Kate, just what I wanted. Thanks again for your input. Those ideas of yours have really made a difference. A great job as usual. I owe you a lunch.”

  God, let her mean that, thought Kate as Laura opened the door.

  Kate paused in the doorway. She combed her long dark hair back from her face with her fingers; a habit Laura liked. She was smiling, clearly pleased that the job had worked out well. Her brown eyes gazed into Laura’s with a directness that Laura always found rather disarming.

  “Good luck with the presentation,” said Kate as she left. At eleven o’clock, Tony poked his head around her door.

  “Giraldi’s here. I’ll start with all the numbers stuff as usual. You come in for your bit in about fifteen minutes, okay?”

  Laura nodded. “Good luck, Tony.”

  “By the way,” Tony added, “I can’t take him to lunch today. I’ve had a call from Lachlan about an urgent campaign. I’ve got to go and see him straight after this meeting. Sorry.”

  “You can’t do this to me, Tony. I don’t think I can cope with him on my own today,” Laura pleaded.

  Tony shrugged helplessly. “Sorry, mate, it can’t be helped. You’ll be all right,” he said with a grin as he headed off to the meeting.

  Giraldi was a difficult client, but the presentation was a success. With the combination of Laura’s clever press ideas 16

  and Tony’s creative accounting and fast talking, the account was won. Afterwards, they gave each other a victory hug in Laura’s office before she grabbed her wallet and keys and left to take the client to lunch. She hoped that she could cope with lunch as well as she had coped until now This client was an egotistical, boring man who flirted outrageously with every woman he came in contact with, and Laura just wasn’t in the mood to have a fat, sixty-year-old man staring at her cleavage for the next two hours. She didn’t get back until four-thirty. Mario Giraldi had continuously ordered more wine and raved on endlessly about how he’d brilliantly built up his successful business from nothing. She’d limited her drinking as much as she could without offending him but had consumed enough to make her feel rather light-headed.

  She heard a familiar snap as she entered their foyer and was met by Jodie, chewing madly as she handed Laura her phone messages.

  “Thanks, Jodie.” I ought to do something about that girl, she thought as she headed back to her office. Tony was waiting for her with a bottle of champagne.

  “We’re bloody geniuses, mate!” said Tony as he poured the champagne. “You were great in that meeting, especially as you felt pretty shithouse this morning.” He handed her a glass.

  “Thanks,” Laura said with a grin. “You know what it’s like once you get started, you go onto auto-pilot. It’s just another performance.”

  After they’d re-lived every glorious moment of the presentation and every amusing detail of the lunch, Tony 17

  left to go home. Laura then phoned her close friend, Jude, who had left a message for her.

  Jude worked in an office in the city and was still at work.

  “I heard about what happened with Debb
ie,” she said. “Her friends have spread it around like wild fire. How are you feeling, darl?”

  As the day had progressed, the situation with Debbie had been pushed to the back of Laura’s mind. Now, just hearing Jude’s warm caring voice made Laura’s eyes suddenly well with tears. “God, Jude, I don’t know exactly how I feel at the moment. I think I’m still in shock. I thought I was well prepared for a confrontation, and ready for it all to end, but I still find what she told me hard to believe. Thanks for ringing me. I was going to call you tonight. I haven’t had a chance today.”

  “Poor baby,” said Jude sympathetically. “Let me take you to dinner tonight.

  They agreed to meet in an hour, at a popular lesbianowned bar and café called The Three Sisters.

  18

  Chapter Three

  Laura arrived at Sisters, as the café was a affectionately known, feeling unexpectedly relaxed. Perhaps it was the effect of the alcohol she had consumed that day, but already she was developing a desire to shrug off the past. She wanted to enjoy herself tonight with Jude. Tony’s champagne and their success today had brightened her mood.

  A number of women were already seated at the tables in the front, where simple but good quality meals were served. Laura made her way past the tables to the bar area at the back. She felt the women’s stares and thought they were looking at her because of her business suit. She certainly did stand out among all the checked shirts and jeans. Jude was already seated at the bar, waiting for her. A few years older than Laura, in her early forties, Jude was 19

  a vivacious character with mischievous bright blue eyes. Her brown hair was slightly peppered with gray and she’d become a little chubby over recent years. She had many friends, although Laura knew, since she’d been single for a long time, she harbored a certain loneliness.

  She got up to meet Laura, and they embraced warmly.

  “Here, darl, drink this, you’ll feel better,” said Jude, handing Laura a dry martini she had already ordered.

  Laura laughed as she accepted the glass. “Thanks, but I really don’t need this, I’ve been drinking all day, not to mention last night.”

  “Well, let’s take our drinks down to a table and order something to eat so you don’t fall over.”

  Jude and Laura had been through a lot together. They met fourteen years ago when Jude’s lover at the time had worked with Laura. Laura and Alexandra had only been together for a year. The four of them became friends and it was a great shock to them all when, a year or so later, Jude’s partner suddenly left her for another woman and moved to Sydney. Laura and Alex were a great support for Jude, and over time they became very close.

  Suddenly, years later, Laura’s life was shattered. On the morning after their tenth anniversary, Alex was killed in an accident. Laura’s other friends were a great comfort to her, but Jude really helped Laura hang onto the threads of her life. For the first two difficult years, before Debbie came along, Laura doubted she would have made it through without Jude’s loving, supportive friendship.

  Seated comfortably, eating focaccia, Laura unraveled the events of the previous night.

  20

  Jude nearly choked on her mouthful of food. “She was screwing her boss? I didn’t hear that little detail on the grapevine! I always thought she was an opportunistic little bitch, but I wouldn’t have thought even she would sink to that.”

  “Yeah well, I don’t imagine she’ll be broadcasting that information too widely,” said Laura. She took a drink of iced water. “To tell you the truth, Jude, I’m already feeling like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.”

  Jude sat with her elbows on the table contemplating the situation. Her head was tilted slightly and she was tugging gently on her earlobe as she always did when she was thinking. “You know, darl, I’m glad you finally decided to bring things to a head with her. You’ve been unhappy for months and it really was time you moved on.”

  Laura nodded. “Yes. I should have done it a year ago, but I lacked the courage, I suppose. But even now, I can’t help thinking back to when things were good between us and wishing I could wind back the clock.” She lit a cigarette and fidgeted with her gold lighter. “But you’re right, it’s time I moved on. It’ll be strange though living alone again.”

  Jude’s eyes twinkled as she smiled. “You’re a free woman now. You can start to enjoy yourself again.” It was getting late. Jude stretched and looked at her watch. “I’m going to have to call it a night, darl.”

  “I’m feeling pretty exhausted, but I think I’ll hang around here a little while longer,” said Laura. “I want to make sure I don’t run into Debbie at home. She’ll be moving out her stuff tonight.”

  They said goodnight, and after Jude had left, Laura moved back down to the bar. She was feeling decidedly mellow, wanting another drink. Settling back on her bar 21

  stool, vodka and tonic in hand, she surveyed the room. Being a Friday night, the place was becoming crowded. The music had been turned up and the animated conversation and laughter were creating quite a din.

  Lost in her thoughts, Laura jumped slightly when she suddenly felt a hand touch her softly on the shoulder. She turned and looked up at the smiling face of Kelly Johannson.

  “I just heard that you and Debbie have split up. Are you okay?” Kelly pulled up another stool and sat beside Laura. Laura smiled. “News travels fast around this town, doesn’t it. I’m okay, thanks.”

  Kelly grinned. “And you’re out cruising the bars already.”

  Laughing, Laura replied, “Hardly that. I should be going home actually. I’ve had a big day.”

  “At least let me buy you another drink before you go,”

  Kelly said in her low purring voice.

  Laura hesitated for a moment, looking at Kelly. Kelly’s green eyes were compelling and they held her gaze. In a confident gesture, she ran her hand through her short blonde hair. Laura liked the way it looked slightly tousled. Her smile was beguiling.

  “Yes?” Kelly asked.

  Smiling too, Laura said, “Yes. Why not.” Laura had first met Kelly a couple of years ago at a party. She noticed the tall athletic-looking woman watching her, smiling, for some time, before Kelly took the opportunity to come and introduce herself when Laura was alone. Laura was quite charmed by Kelly’s confident, easy manner, and aware of her palpable sex appeal. Kelly overtly flirted with her and suggested they go out together. Laura politely refused, explaining that she was in a relationship with Debbie. But that didn’t seem to dampen Kelly’s interest, and whenever 22

  they bumped into one another around town after that, Kelly continued to flirt with her. She had never seemed at all bothered by Laura’s relationship status, and cheekily asked her out on dates.

  Since she first met Kelly, others had told her of Kelly’s reputation as a philanderer. Never having been in a serious relationship, Kelly was often spoken of disparagingly by some as a “love ’em” and leave type.

  As they talked comfortably over the next half hour or so, Laura found herself enjoying Kelly’s company and flirtatious attention. She reminded herself that now she was single and, as Jude said, it was time she had some fun. Feeling the accumulated effects of the day’s drinking, and last night’s lack of sleep, Laura decided it was time to leave.

  “Maybe we could get together for a drink some tine again soon, or perhaps dinner,” Kelly said.

  “That would be nice,” Laura said with a smile. She stood up to leave and suddenly felt slightly dizzy. She stumbled and put her hand to her head. In an instant Kelly’s strong arms were around her, holding her securely. Somewhere inside Laura’s hazy mind, she was aware that Kelly’s arms around her felt good. Kelly’s lips brushed her cheek, and she felt a sensation that she hadn’t felt in months—the first stirring of desire. She remained in Kelly’s embrace for longer than was necessary before she drew away.

  She politely refused Kelly’s offer to drive her home and, just managing a dignified exit, hailed a cab and went home. It
was eleven-thirty when Laura entered her darkened apartment. To her great relief there was no sign of Debbie, and a quick look around revealed that Debbie had taken 23

  her things. She was gone. Laura glanced across at the still unmade bed that Debbie had slept in last night. Her pillow was crumpled in that particular way, from Debbie hugging it in her sleep.

  The memories of better times and the impact of the end of the relationship hit her again. The tears welled and trickled down her cheeks.

  She stripped the bed and remade it with clean white cotton damask sheets, then had a long hot shower. She thought that she’d better take things quietly for a couple of weeks. She’d found herself feeling very attracted to Kelly Johannson tonight, and she really ought to get her head together before she thought about dating anyone again. She had a lot of adjustments to make to her life. She must remember to pick up her car from the office tomorrow, she thought as she climbed into bed. Within minutes, she was fast asleep.

  24

  Chapter Four

  It was Wednesday, nearly two weeks since Debbie had left, and Laura was having dinner with her friends Jude, Megan and Vicki, at Sisters cafe.

  “So how are you finding life without Debbie?” asked Megan.

  “Well, I’m still getting used to her not being there,”

  said Laura. “It’s silly things you notice the most, like the mornings, without the mad scramble getting ready for work, sharing the bathroom and bumping into each other in the kitchen. And I take longer to fall asleep without her in the bed. It feels odd. You get used to things.” She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her ring. “And her perfume. I only thought this morning as I was dressing, that the smell of her perfume has completely disappeared.” Laura looked 25

  up and smiled. “Silly, isn’t it.”

  “Well I’m glad it’s at last all over,” said Vicki, “You had your suspicions for a long time, and it was driving you crazy. I can’t believe that she was screwing a guy though. It’s incredible.”