Magic and Mayhem: Witch, Please (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Ida May Chronicles Book 2)

by Deanna Chase

  He took a step toward me, a scowl on his face. “Right at this moment, I’m not at all sure what I’m supposed to think. Maybe you’re responsible for this mark. And not Ophelia—”

  Zelda and Sassy both physically winced at the mention of her name. I stifled a sigh.

  “It would make sense considering it doesn’t seem to be bothering you at all,” he added.

  “You’re being ridiculous,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest as I glared at him. How dare he?

  “I’m being ridiculous—?” he started.

  Zelda held a hand up. “That’s enough.” She turned to Diesel. “When I summoned Ida May she was on a date with Sterling.”

  “He’s a ghost, too,” Sassy interjected.

  “Right,” Zelda continued. “Anyway, when she showed up, he was with her. Right now he’s waiting outside.”

  “He’s a ghost?” Diesel asked me.

  I nodded. “He didn’t ask to be summoned to Asscrack. I’m not going to just leave him behind while I deal with this.” I lifted my arm, indicating the tattoo. “Besides, he’s a friend. And a witch. He could be useful.”

  “Sure. Useful,” he grumbled.

  Silence filled the room.

  Finally, Sassy clapped her hands together. “So… now what?”

  ‘We wait,” Zelda said.

  “For what?” Diesel and I asked at the same time.

  “For She Who Must Not Be Named.”

  4

  “You mean to say we’re stuck here like sitting ducks until that psycho shows up?” I paced the wood floors, already going stir crazy.

  “Well, no. Not exactly,” Zelda hedged.

  I stopped and stared at her pointedly.

  She rubbed the back of her neck. “I think we’re going to need to find her before we can break the spell. And the best way to do that is to use you both as bait. Especially if you’re seen out in public together.” She glanced at Diesel and then back to me. “I think a night out on the town should do it.”

  “Oh, hell.” I pressed my fingertips to my temples. I couldn’t exactly leave Sterling behind to go out with Diesel, could I?

  “We can double date again,” Sassy said, pumping her eyebrows. “Dancing at the Pink Toad?”

  “How about dinner,” Diesel said. “At the steak place. I’m starving.”

  “Steak. Definitely.” My mouth started to water just thinking about it.

  Sassy sighed. “That’s not nearly as fun as the Pink Toad, but I guess I can suffer as long as we stay for dessert. Their crème brulee is to die for.” Her eyes met mine as she clapped her hand over her mouth and giggled. “Oops. Sorry.”

  I laughed. “Girl, don’t worry about it. I love a good crème brulee. Are we going now? I could eat half a cow. That cheesecake seems like days ago.”

  “Just let me call Jeeves,” Sassy said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. But before she dialed, she nodded to Diesel. “You should get a date, too, otherwise you’ll be the fifth wheel. And believe, me once you see that fine ass of a man out there, you’re not going to want to be flying solo.”

  “Sassy,” I hissed. “Jeez, could you be anymore insensitive?”

  “What? I’m just stating the truth.” She hit Send on her phone and walked away, speaking to Jeeves.

  Diesel stared after her, a frustrated expression on his face. Finally, he let out a breath. “Andi and I are not mates. We’re just friends.”

  “Why?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  “I don’t know. She’s new in town. We’re just starting to get to know each other.”

  “Did she plant your flowers?”

  His eyes widened slightly in surprise. “How did you know that?”

  “Just a guess. Call her. Invite her out.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t want to put her in any unnecessary danger.”

  Zelda cleared her throat. “I doubt you’ll run into any problems while at dinner. The goal is to just be seen and get O’s attention. She’s not likely to attack in a public place. Not if she doesn’t want to end up right back in the pokey. In fact, it’s probably better to act as if you’re unconcerned about the curse. It will drive her mad.”

  Diesel grit his teeth, but pulled out his phone nonetheless. Five minutes later, we walked out the front door.

  “I’m having steak, garlic mashed potatoes, truffle fries, and deep fried pickles,” I said. “Plus a vat of margaritas.”

  “Don’t forget the fresh bread and honey butter,” Diesel said, then stopped short when he spotted Sterling.

  The biker stood and held his hand out. “You must be Diesel. Nice to meet you.”

  Diesel stiffened, hostility streaming off him. The silence that ensued was deafening.

  I cleared my throat and nudged Diesel with my elbow.

  He finally shook himself out of his stupor and clasped hands with Sterling. “Hey. Sorry to get you dragged into this mess. Though I suppose it’s not so bad being human again.”

  Sterling let his gaze sweep over me briefly before he said, “Yeah, I can deal with it.”

  A low growl escaped from the back of Diesel’s throat, but before either of them could say another word, I grabbed Sterling’s arm and led him to the SUV. “We’re going for dinner. All of us.” I cast a look over my shoulder at Diesel. “So let’s all try to be on our best behavior, all right?”

  “Sure, Ida May,” Sterling said amiably.

  Diesel’s eyes bored into mine, intense and full of something I couldn’t quite read. Then he cut his gaze to Sterling and finally nodded. “Yeah. I’m good. Let’s go eat.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Damn, girl,” Sassy whispered. “That’s hot.”

  “What?”

  “Two men. One for each arm. Tonight could be very interesting. Ever had a threesome?”

  “Yes,” I answered without thinking.

  Diesel sucked in a sharp breath while Sterling just laughed.

  My face heated. What had I been thinking? “Um, that was a long time ago. In my other life. With another woman and a… someone who visited often.” I didn’t know why I was suddenly shy about my past. I’d worked in a brothel. Everyone in present company knew my history, and I was anything but ashamed of it. A girl had to do what a girl had to do in those days. But sharing those details, calling it for what it was in front of the only two men I’d ever managed to care about made me slightly uncomfortable. It just wasn’t something they needed to hear about.

  “Hmm,” Sassy mused. “I’m not sure I could handle another woman. I mean, I don’t like to share, you know? But two hot men.” She pumped her eyebrows suggestively at Sterling. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

  He studied her, then turned his attention to me. “I’m more of a one on one kind of guy.”

  “Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s just get dinner, shall we?” I yanked the door open and climbed all the way to the back. “It’s well past margarita time.”

  “Yeah,” Sassy agreed. “I think Ida May needs a drink or four.”

  “She’s not the only one,” Zelda said, handing the keys to Mac. “The sooner we get this over with the better.”

  Dinner was uncomfortable to say the least. I’d ended up smack in the middle of Diesel and Sterling with Andi across from me. The female wolf was just as lovely as I remembered her. Copper hair with eyes to match and friendly, too. She’d laughed with me about the massive amount of food I’d ordered and filled me in on her history. She was from a small town up north and had come to Asscrack for a new start after a bad breakup. And now she worked at the Library.

  A librarian. Come on. She couldn’t have been more different from me if she tried. Yet, she was warm, funny, and downright sexy in her dirty librarian sort of way. Diesel would be an idiot to overlook her. Unfortunately, he’d barely said two words to her at the restaurant.

  Amateur.

  If it wasn’t for the fact we were all going back to Zelda’s to wait to see if we’d flushed Ophel
ia out, I’d have invited her over myself. But putting her in potential danger just to prove a point wasn’t my style. Instead, I’d flirted with Sterling and nudged Diesel in the ribs hard enough I was sure I’d left a bruise. He hadn’t taken the hint.

  After stuffing ourselves silly, we walked back out to the SUV and said our goodbyes to Andi. Finally, Diesel got his head out of his ass and walked her to her car. They spoke for a few minutes, then Diesel bent down and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Even from about fifty yards away, I could see the sparkle in her eyes when she gazed up at him.

  There was no doubt about it. He was going to blow this one if he didn’t let me go. I’d just have to make it clear once and for all, I wasn’t his one.

  By the time he made it back to the SUV, Sassy and Jeeves had already left and the rest of us were already in the car. He climbed in and sat next to me.

  “She’s pretty,” I said.

  He nodded.

  “She likes you.”

  “I know. But she’s not the one.”

  I sighed. “How do you know that if you don’t give her a chance?”

  “Ida May,” he said, turning serious eyes on me. “Can we talk about this later?”

  I clamped my mouth shut and nodded. Fine. He could have it his way… for now. But this was far from over. Then I took a really good look at him, noting his troubled expression. My heart squeezed, and all I wanted to do was slide over to him and rest my head on his shoulder. The man had literally just been on his deathbed and my appearance had healed him. My previous trip to Asscrack had healed him as well. Of course he was going to attribute that to something more than I could offer.

  Sadness welled up inside me. If I had the choice, I’d stay with him in a heartbeat. But that wasn’t an option open to me. And making plans as if that scenario was at all possible was only going to cause us both pain.

  Being a ghost really sucked donkey balls. I cast my gaze at Sterling, meeting his kind eyes. He gave me a small encouraging smile, and I couldn’t help answering with a smile of my own. Okay. My being dead wasn’t all bad.

  5

  “I’m going to bed,” Zelda announced not long after we arrived back at her house.

  “It’s not even ten o-clock.” Sassy, sprawled across Jeeves on the couch, took a long pull from her beer bottle.

  “Y’all have worn me out.” She put her hand out to Mac. “Besides, my mate and I have more, ah… interesting things to do.”

  “Yeah, like each other.” Sassy snickered.

  I chuckled and curled into the chair, wishing it was me taking my man upstairs. I was human after all. At least for the time being anyway. “Hey, can’t say I blame them.”

  “Naked Dude, keep an eye on this riffraff,” Zelda called over her shoulder. “Don’t let them burn anything down, all right?”

  “I’m on it.” Fabio waved them off and turned back to Sterling. The two were having a heated debate about what kind of motor was the best for a custom chopper. Who knew Fabio had an interest in riding?

  As soon as Zelda disappeared, Sassy slammed her beer bottle down on the coffee table and announced, “I’m bored. Let’s do something.” She turned to me. “This is not how you’re going to spend your time as a human.”

  I raised one eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Something fun. Naughty.” She lowered her voice and spoke in a conspiratorial tone. “Something that would make Zelda’s head spin.”

  “Like raiding her closets?” I joked.

  “Na. If we can’t leave the property, there’s no use in getting dressed up,” she said.

  “The hell there isn’t,” Fabio added, his expression horrified. “Staying in is never an excuse for dressing like a slob.” His gaze traveled over Sassy, his lips turned down in disapproval. Then he turned to me and his entire body shuddered. “You both need help.”

  “Hey!” Sassy cried, arching her chest out far enough I was certain we were about to witness a wardrobe malfunction. “I have great taste.”

  “Yeah,” Jeeves agreed, his gaze fixated on her magnificent rack.

  Sterling and Diesel were both silent.

  Smart men.

  “No, you don’t.” Fabio grabbed his mug from the table and moved toward the kitchen. “Tomorrow I’m staging an intervention.”

  “I’m game,” I said, itching to ditch the trailer trash fashion I was currently sporting.

  “That could be fun.” Sassy pursed her lips together. “Do we get to raid Zelda’s closets?”

  “Where else are we going to find acceptable clothes?” He winked and disappeared into the kitchen.

  “Fun.” Sassy clapped her hands together. “But that’s tomorrow. What about tonight? I can’t keep sitting here. I’m going to go bat shit crazy.”

  “TV?” Diesel said.

  “God no.” Sassy gave him a what-the-fuck-look. “Sterling and Ida May don’t want to waste their time watching sitcom reruns. They can do that anytime. We have to do something Fun, capital F.”

  “We could go down to the lake,” Jeeves said, running his hand through his headful of braids.

  “Yes! The lake.” I jumped to my feet and headed for the door.

  “Wait,” Sassy called. “We need more booze.”

  “And towels,” Jeeves added.

  “Towels? For what?” Diesel asked. “The lake water can’t be warmer than fifty degrees. You’re not really going to go swimming are you?”

  “That’s plenty warm enough for my firecracker,” Jeeves boasted as he poked his head into the hall linen closet.

  “Jeeves knows how to warm me up,” Sassy said.

  An image of the two of them doing it like rabbits in the freezing water popped into my head. It wasn’t pretty considering I knew Jeeves was a kangaroo Shifter. I closed the door on the disturbing image and accepted the towel Jeeves offered me. “I’m going. What about you two?” I asked Sterling and Diesel.

  Sterling stood and joined me.

  “I’ll skip it,” Diesel said. “Someone should keep watch on the place.”

  I shrugged. It was probably better that way anyway. “Okay. Sassy? Got your phone?” I asked

  “Right here!” She held it up as she darted into the kitchen. A few moments later, she reappeared with a twelve-pack of beer. “Ready?”

  “Ready.” Sterling and I followed her out through the back. “How far is this lake?”

  “Less than a mile. You’re going to love it.” Sassy slipped her arm through mine and grinned up at me. “There’s a hot spring, too.”

  “And you didn’t think to tell Diesel that?”

  “He’s a stick in the mud. I want to have some fun. And we have no idea how long we’ll have you here. I just want to live it up while we can.”

  God, I loved Sassy. She was my soul sister. People everywhere should probably be relieved we didn’t get to spend more time together. “Bring on the fun!”

  Jeeves and Sterling followed us, neither saying much as we made our way down the dark path. But the minute we saw the moon shining off the surface of the lake, Jeeves let out a whoop, ran toward the shore, and ripped his clothes off. In no time at all, he was bare-ass naked and diving into the dark water.

  “Skinny dipping!” Sassy took off after him, stripping as she went.

  Sterling stopped beside me as we watched them splash around, the moonlight glaring off their pale bodies. “What do you think?” he asked me.

  “She said there’s a hot spring around here.” I cast my gaze down, eyeing his package. “You up for that?”

  A slow smile broke out on his face. “What do you think?”

  “I think we’re about to have ourselves a party.” Leaning down, I grabbed a couple of bottles of beer and scanned the area. Off to the right, near a rocky ledge, I spotted a sign that read: Rejuvenation Station. “This way.”

  Sterling and I hurried over to the hot spring. I didn’t waste one second stripping off Sassy’s outfit. And when I stepped into that gloriously warm bath, my eyes ro
lled into the back of my head. I let out a moan worthy of a porn movie. “My God, this feels good.”

  “Sweet Jesus,” Sterling said, following me into the water.

  The warmth, the soothing weight of the water, it was enough to bring tears to my eyes. “I could just stay right here for forever.”

  “That is the best idea I’ve heard in a while,” Sterling said, gliding toward me.

  “It’s a pact then. You and me and this hot spring, we’re one, right?” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  He pulled me to him, his arms circling me as my legs circled him. “Deal,” he whispered, his gaze locked on my lips.

  Everything heated and it had nothing to do with the water. “Well, hello there.”

  “I have to say, Ida May, that I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend time with as a human.” He trailed his fingers down my neck, and then buried his hand in my thick curls, pulling me toward him.

  “That might be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” I breathed and closed my eyes, more than ready for what he had to offer.

  “Looks like you two are enjoying yourselves,” someone who sounded suspiciously like Diesel all but growled.

  “Did you hear that?” I whispered to Sterling.

  “Unfortunately.”

  “Damn.” I opened my eyes and untangled myself from what had felt like heaven. And when I turned around, Diesel was standing at the end of the spring, his arms crossed over his chest, scowling. “Did something happen?” I asked.

  “You tell me.” He cut his gaze to Sterling, and I swear I thought he was going to shift right there just to rip the other man’s throat out.

  “Enough of the possessive man crap, okay?” For the love of God, if he didn’t cut it out, I was going to kick him so hard, his chances of fathering little Shifter pups were going to be nonexistent. “Is there a problem? Did Oph—what’s her name show up?”

  No—I. Son of a… Sorry.” He dropped his arms and rolled his head as if trying to force himself to relax.

  “So… you came out here to check on us?” I asked.

  “Dammit, Ida May. You already know the answer to that.”