Bittersweet Memories

by Cecelia Dowdy

  Striving to overcome a growing feeling of exasperation, Keith spoke calmly. “I just feel in my heart that this is the direction the Lord wants me to go, the path He wants me to take.”

  Kyle grunted, finishing another slice of pizza.

  Questions continued to riddle Keith’s brain like popping kernels of corn, and he again wondered why his brother had chosen to show up on this day. Before asking what Kyle wanted, he decided to tell him about what happened earlier. “I got a phone call from the bank.”

  Kyle frowned. “What bank? What are you talking about?”

  He stood, gesturing toward the living room. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

  He opened the envelope and dumped the contents on the coffee table. “Dad left me this letter. It was in a safe-deposit box. I didn’t even know the box existed until today. The letter. . . I—I want you to read it.”

  Kyle read in silence, his mouth set in a tense line. When he finished, he lowered the letter, his hands dropping to his sides.

  For a few minutes, no words were spoken. Then Kyle said, “I didn’t realize Dad knew about my finances.”

  Knowing their father wouldn’t lie, but wanting Kyle to admit he had a problem, Keith said, “So it’s true?”

  Kyle nodded. “The part about my finances is, but not the part about my being. . .” He picked up the letter again and read, “ ‘Troubled.’ ”

  “Kyle, we both know your drinking has gotten worse.” When Kyle remained silent, Keith asked the question that had been burning in his mind ever since he’d seen Kyle’s car in his driveway. “Why are you here?”

  Kyle hesitated, suddenly looking unsure. “I—I came to ask you a favor.”

  “Well. . .what is it?”

  “I’m in a. . .a little bit of a bind.”

  Keith narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean by little?”

  “Well, maybe it’s not so little.”

  “Well, what’s the matter?” asked Keith.

  “My home is in danger of being foreclosed.”

  Keith widened his eyes. Shaking his head, he sank into the nearest chair, feeling like a fool. And I actually thought you’d come over to patch things up between us. He sighed then looked up at his brother. “So I guess you want money.”

  “Well, yeah. I’m glad to find out you weren’t dishonest about getting Dad to change his will.” He pointed to the letter. “He said you could disperse the funds as you see fit. I think you should give me my half of the money now. No matter what Dad thought, I’m not a child.”

  “Listen, Kyle. For a minute, let’s forget about the money. Let’s talk about us, about your not trusting me, about your having barely spoken to me since Dad died. You never even gave me a chance to tell you my side of the story.”

  Kyle rolled his eyes. “Okay, little brother, what’s your side?”

  “Remember the day that Dad died?”

  Kyle frowned. “Is this your way of giving me a guilt trip?”

  “A guilt trip?” Keith echoed.

  “Yeah. Are you deliberately trying to make me feel guilty because I was in the Virgin Islands while you stayed here, taking care of Dad?”

  Keith sighed. “No. I’m just trying to get you to understand where I’m coming from.”

  “Whatever,” Kyle said as he took a seat across from Keith. “So go ahead. I’m listening.”

  Keith struggled to gather his thoughts, recalling their father’s last month of life, then said, “The day Dad died, he wasn’t feeling well. Remember how he didn’t want to go into a nursing home?”

  “I remember,” Kyle whispered, his face softening. “He said he wanted to die at home.”

  “Right. Well, he’d been feeling worse than usual that day. The hospice nurse came, checked him out, gave him some medicine. He told me he wanted to talk to me about something important, but he’d been in so much pain the day before that he was very tired. He managed to tell me he felt bad about the way he’d raised us, and he wished that we could have been tighter. . .as a family.”

  “Dad never cared about being closer to us.”

  “Yes, he did. He just never showed us. . . . You know, I learned a lot about Dad that last year. Anyway, he always figured that having a lot of money would prove how much he cared for us.” Keith paused, his eyes misting with tears.

  “What else did he say?”

  “H–he told me he’d made some changes to improve things in the household.”

  “Huh?”

  “I know. He started talking to me like I was a little boy instead of a grown man. Said things were going to change around here. At first I thought the medicine was affecting his mind, so I told him to take a nap and we’d talk about it later.”

  “And when you went back to check on him, he was gone,” Kyle said softly.

  “Yeah. I never got a chance to ask him what he’d meant. When the will was read, I was just as floored as you were. But I honestly think that he was going to tell me about this letter, or maybe give me the key to the safe-deposit box.”

  “So you didn’t have the key?”

  Keith shook his head. “No. I didn’t even know the box existed until today. But now we know why he did what he did.” He gazed at his twin. “It looks like it was a smart move, too, especially with your present situation.” He paused. “Listen, Kyle, I hate that this money issue has come between us. I miss talking to you. I—I miss your being in my life.”

  Suzie, having awakened from a nap, sauntered into the living room and placed her large head on Kyle’s lap.

  “See, even Suzie notices you’re not around anymore.” Keith tried to make light of a serious situation. But his brother didn’t even crack a smile. Keith hesitated then said, “Kyle, now that we both know what happened, can’t we just move past this and start. . .well, start being brothers again?”

  Kyle remained silent, petting Suzie’s fur, then said, “We’ll always be brothers. I just don’t know about us being. . .friends.”

  For a moment, Keith was stunned, his heart cut to the quick. Then he said softly, “Kyle, the very fact that you thought I lied in order to cheat you out of your inheritance. . .” He shook his head then said, “Have I ever given you a reason to mistrust me before? I mean, have I ever lied to you?”

  The room filled with silence, each brother lost in thought. Abandoning Kyle, Suzie approached her master, begging for food. Keith went into the kitchen and poured food and water into the dog’s dishes before returning to the living room.

  Kyle sighed. “Look, I know you’ve never lied to me, but you still need to give me my part of the inheritance.” He glanced around the house again. “Have you been spending my share of the money?”

  “Kyle, I told you all this in the letters and e-mails I sent you the first few months after Dad died. I haven’t touched a dime of your money.”

  “Well, I need it. If I lose my house, I might end up having to move in here with you. Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

  Exhaustion, mingled with exasperation, racked Keith’s body. Lord, give me strength. He ran his fingers through his hair. “What happened to your money anyway? Dad left you some in his will, plus you’re running a law firm, and I know what salary you’re bringing home. Why—and on what—are you spending so much money?”

  Kyle shrugged. “It’s something to do, I guess.”

  Keith frowned.

  “I like spending money. . .traveling, buying things, taking women out. You know me, Keith.”

  “The Kyle I knew spent lavishly but always paid his bills. What happened to you?”

  Kyle shrugged. “I—I guess it all started when Andrea left. I was so hurt. . . . I couldn’t stop thinking about her. So I started drinking. Just a little at first. Then when I realized that wasn’t enough, I started doing anything to take my mind off of her—trips, extravagant gifts for women, you name it. The bills started coming in fast and furious. I just let them pile up, I guess. Next thing I know, Dad gets sick and dies. Then guilt piled on top of the pain, and I ju
st got further and further behind on the bills. . .and I started drinking more heavily.” Kyle sat slumped in his chair.

  “Well, big brother, let’s take it one step at a time. First, how long do you have before you lose the house, and how much do you need to keep it?”

  “Six weeks before they foreclose.” He then told him the amount of money he needed.

  The exorbitant sum made Keith’s head spin. He whistled. “Well, I don’t want you to lose your house, but I need to think and pray about it.”

  “You’re asking God about giving me money that’s rightfully mine?”

  “Yes, like I’ve told you, I go to God for all of my major decisions.”

  The twins sat silently for a few minutes before Kyle spoke. “Well, I guess I have no choice but to wait for your answer.” After an uncomfortable silence, Kyle cleared his throat then asked, “So are you still seeing the woman I saw you with at the Rockfish?”

  “Yes,” Keith said, his eyes lighting up. “I’m in love with her.”

  “That’s great! Does she feel the same way?”

  Keith frowned. “I don’t know. Haven’t told her how I feel. . .yet.”

  “Why not?” asked Kyle.

  “I think the Lord wants me to wait a bit.”

  “Well, be careful, little brother. Remember what happened between me and Andrea.”

  “I’ll be careful. Karen’s been through a lot over the last year, and I just want to be sure she’s ready to hear what I have to say.” He paused for a few seconds. “She’s been coming over every morning for breakfast.”

  Kyle raised his thick eyebrows. “Really? She drives over here every day just to eat with you?” He playfully swatted Keith’s shoulder.

  Keith grinned, shaking his head. “She doesn’t drive over; she walks.”

  “Huh?”

  Keith pointed toward the kitchen window. “She lives right next door. I was friends with her mother before I ever met Karen. She moved in this past spring. She’d just gotten out of a really bad relationship. Turns out her ex-fiancé was not only an embezzler but a two-timer.”

  “Man, and I thought I had a bad breakup.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s doing a lot better now than when she first came to Annapolis. She’s been helping me with the youth at church. And then somewhere along the line, we started dating.” He smiled again. “And every day we have early morning breakfasts, then evening walks with Suzie. If everything works out the way I’d like it to—I mean, if it turns out she feels the same way about me—then I’m hoping she’ll be my wife and come with me when I start divinity school. But we’ll just have to wait and see.”

  Kyle stood. “Well, I’ve got to get going. I hope things work out with you and Karen.”

  Keith nodded, pulling his brother into an impulsive hug. “Thanks. I love you, bro. I’ll be in touch. And you. . . Don’t be a stranger.”

  Seventeen

  On her way over to Keith’s house, Karen decided that tonight was the night. She was determined to find out what had been bothering Keith over the last few weeks. Just as she was about to knock on his front door, it opened.

  “Hey there, gorgeous,” Keith said, his initially brooding frown turning up into a smile. “Suzie’s ready for our evening stroll. Are you?”

  “Yep!” she said, returning his smile.

  Starting down the sidewalk together, a comfortable silence soon descended as each strolled along, lost in thought. As they turned a corner, Karen glanced at Keith’s face in the streetlight. Suddenly it hit her. Keith Baxter, I am falling for you. . .hard.

  As if reading her thoughts, he lurched to a halt, pulled her into his arms, and began kissing her. At first, Karen was stunned, as was Suzie, who began barking and nudging her nose in between them. Then all sense of time and place was lost as Karen melted in Keith’s embrace. What seemed like hours later, he released her.

  “Well,” she said, trying to catch her breath.

  Keith, grinning from ear to ear, grabbed her hand and held on tight.

  As they continued their stroll, Karen’s wits began to return. But Keith was soon back to brooding, prompting Karen to ask, “Keith. . .are you okay? Is anything wrong?”

  No response.

  “Keith?”

  He suddenly looked up from his study of the sidewalk. “Huh?”

  “I asked you a question.”

  “Oh,” he said with a halfhearted smile. “Sorry. What was it?”

  “I asked if anything was wrong?”

  “Wrong? No, everything’s fine.” He lifted her hand to his lips, giving her a gentle kiss.

  Hmm. Okay. . . . Let’s try some small talk. “I’ve got some news.”

  “Yes?”

  “I got Amanda a job as a shampoo girl at the salon.”

  “That’s nice,” he said absentmindedly.

  “Yes. She seems to like it.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yeah, she’s a great girl. I’m so glad you got me involved in the youth program at church. I like spending time with them once a week.”

  “Mmm. . . Yes. Me, too.”

  Finally, Karen gave up trying to have a conversation with Keith. But when we get back to the house, I’m going to sit you down and find out what’s going on.

  When they had circled back to Keith’s house and approached the end of his driveway, he would have walked right past had Karen not stopped dead in her tracks.

  “Did you want to make another loop around the neighborhood?”

  Keith, suddenly pulled from his reverie, lurched to a halt, then said, “Uh, no. Sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Want to sit on the back porch for a while?”

  “Sure.”

  Suzie played in the backyard while Keith and Karen sat in silence, the brightly colored leaves tumbling from the trees in the autumn breeze.

  Finally, Karen said, “Keith, if we’re going to be having a relationship, you need to be open with me. What’s been bothering you lately?”

  Their hands again interlocked, he began playing with her fingers. “Sorry, I know I’ve been a little moody lately. I’ve. . .had a lot on my mind.”

  Karen shifted in her seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “L–like what?”

  “Oh. . .things. . .problems.”

  Karen cleared her throat. “Um, we’re okay, aren’t we? I mean, you don’t have a problem with us, do you?” Oh, please say you don’t.

  Keith smiled and squeezed her hand. “No, honey. We’re fine. It’s just that I’ve been trying to figure out what to do about my brother’s money. I know I need to let him have it, but I’m not sure how to go about giving it to him. . . . Do I wait a month? A year?”

  “Is that all?” she asked, relieved.

  “Well, to me it’s a pretty big deal. I mean, if I give him too much all at once, there’s no telling what he’ll do with it. What if he takes off to Cancun or goes on a drinking binge? And do I give him just enough to save the house now, see how he handles it, and then wait until next year to give him more?”

  “Sorry. I know it’s important, and I wish I could help you. But the only thing I think we can do is take it to the Lord and see where He leads.”

  Keith’s eyes lit up. “You know, you’re right! Do you remember the verse from Matthew, the one where Jesus says, ‘If two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them’?”

  “Yes. That’s the one we’ve been focusing on at Devo.”

  “Right. Well, let’s pray together right now and lift this problem up to God.”

  “Sounds great.” Lord, this man is a keeper.

  Keith took Karen’s other hand, and beneath the light of a harvest moon, they lifted his concerns to God.

  ❧

  A week later, Karen headed over to Keith’s house early in the morning, eager to see him. She walked right past her mother’s autumn chrysanthemums, which needed no watering today since God had taken care o
f it the night before with a blessing of heavy rains.

  Last night, Keith had told her he was making blueberry muffins, bacon, and eggs this morning, and she was looking forward to the meal—and seeing him. After she rapped on his door, Keith opened it, beckoning her inside. Suzie barked excitedly as Keith let the dog out to play in the yard.

  “Hi, Karen.” His full lips touched her cheek.

  With a contented sigh, Karen stepped into the kitchen, the scent of blueberry muffins filling the air. Removing her light jacket, she said, “It’s starting to get colder in the morning.”

  “I know. We’re going to have to start wearing our heavy coats soon.”

  “Smells wonderful in here.”

  He chuckled. “Yes, this is Ms. Sonya’s recipe. You know, I’d like to take you over to meet her and Mr. Terrance soon.” He pulled the muffins out of the oven. “This is a lot of food. Maybe you can take some muffins over to your mom.”

  “Yes, I’m sure she’d like some.”

  He removed eggs from the refrigerator.

  “You seem to be in a good mood,” Karen commented.

  He placed the eggs on the counter and returned to the table, temporarily abandoning his task. “Let’s have a seat while the muffins are cooling off. I—I want to talk to you about something.”

  Curious, Karen sat at the table.

  Keith took her hand, squeezing her fingers. “I think I’ve found a solution to my problem.”

  “Do you mean the problem with your brother’s money?”

  He nodded.

  “What are you going to do?” she asked.

  “Well, I called him last night. I’m going to give him his half of the money.”

  “Do you think he can handle that much cash all at once?”

  “No, but I’ve worked that out, too. I’m going to give it to him over the next ten years in equal annual installments. But even before he sees one red cent, he’s got to give me proof that he’s getting financial counseling.”

  “Do you think that’s the right thing to do?”

  “Karen, I’ve done the best that I could. The rest is up to God. But you know, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted. This money issue has weighed heavily on my mind since my dad died. But since I’ve made my decision, I feel happier. And Kyle was definitely agreeable to the terms.”