He pulled me in slightly, and I gasped, not sure what he was going to do. Miss Kate’s glare burned my back. “I miss you so much,” he whispered in my ear.
“You know where to find me.” This was all in his hands now. I would never mess with his job, no matter how much I wanted to see him. Instead, I bent down to detach Landon from Josh’s legs. “Be a good boy today, okay? Remember what I said.” I kissed him on the forehead and ran out of there before I lost it.
**
Landon wasn’t the only one who was starting school today. My online classes started this week, too. After we dropped Landon off, I brought Lucas to the park and we fed the ducks. It was too quiet there with most of the kids in school, so we didn’t stay long after we’d run out of bread. He was going to miss his brother terribly and I didn’t want him to get lost in the shuffle. Once we got home, I got him a snack and put on a movie for him.
I opened my new notebook and put on my headphones in anticipation of watching the intro video for my psychology class. My heart thrummed in my chest. Not only was I excited, I was nervous. It had been a long time since I’d been in school, almost five years. I was pregnant in my junior year, and after a couple of months I realized it was easier for me to get my GED. Now I understood why I needed to take this seriously.
The professor had put up four videos to watch and I was relieved to find that online classes were easier than sitting in a regular classroom. I was actually interested in what I was listening to, which made all the difference in the world. If I missed something, I could back up and listen to it again. Once I finished the videos, I started my reading, with Lucas snuggled in my lap.
It felt really good to do things for me this week. The pole dancing and school made me feel different already, and I liked it.
Josh was nowhere to be found when I picked Landon up. I tried not to take it personally. I was no different here than the fifty-nine other parents whose kid started school today.
Miss Kate didn’t regard me as warmly as she had first thing this morning, but whatever her bitch was with me, she didn’t hold it against Landon. “He’s a really good listener and he made some new friends today.”
“Good job!” I held up my hand so Landon could slap me five.
Once we got to the car, Landon told me all about his day. How they played on the slide, colored pictures, and that Miss Kate kept a turtle named Tito in the classroom. But nothing else to report about Josh.
I needed to stop it. Josh wasn’t his teacher, he was an administrator. He wasn’t some sort of Head Start spokesmodel, and the last thing my kid needed to be worried about at school was my boyfriend. But for some reason, seeing Josh at work, surrounded by his peers, brought back a familiar feeling that I fought so hard against for the last couple of years. The one where I wasn’t good enough, just because I was me.
Chapter Thirteen
The end of the first week of school deserved a celebration. We’d all been working hard. Every day, Landon came home with a backpack full of papers, I was shocked at how much they were actually teaching him. I remembered preschool as play time. Maybe the magic was that the teachers made it seem like play. There were art projects, too. One of the teachers knew how to make balloon animals, and the one Landon brought with him didn’t even survive the ride home.
Today Landon couldn’t wait to give me a wooden slab with his hand cut out of fabric and a piece of paper with a poem about how he wouldn’t be little forever glued to it. “I love it,” I told him as he beamed with pride. We hung it in the kitchen as soon as we got home.
I’d forgotten about homework. Landon didn’t have it yet, but I sure did. Both of my classes required a ton of writing. English, I expected that, but not in psychology. We had to do case studies, which was actually kind of fun. When Josh came over tonight, I was going to ask him what he’d do, to see if I got it right.
Yeah, right. I was going to jump his bones the minute I had a chance, after pizza and pigeon stories. He hadn’t been over here all week. We’d exchanged a couple of smoldering looks in the hallway of school this week, and it was really hard to behave myself when all I wanted to do was run my fingers through that hair. It had been a mess every time I saw him. I knew he played with his hair when he was unsure of himself. We hadn’t talked except to make plans for tonight.
Josh showed up with the pizza and a bottle of wine. The boys did a pizza dance around him as I kissed his cheek and took the wine from him. “That has to wait until later.”
It took forever to get the boys to bed, all hopped up on pizza and Josh. They demanded that he read to them, no girls allowed. It hurt my feelings for about a minute, but then I realized I had actually had some time to myself. I poured us both a glass of wine, bringing the bottle back to the couch with me.
“That took you a while.” I accepted Josh’s kiss when he came back to the couch.
“We read three books. Lucas tapped out sometime in the middle of the second one, but Landon probably could have gone for another.”
My whole body warmed, and it wasn’t from the wine. “He likes you.”
Josh’s smile faded, he put down his wine, taking mine from me as well, placing the two glasses on the coffee table. He took both of my hands in his. “I need to talk to you about that.”
Oh, shit. “You got caught.”
“I did.” He looked anywhere but me. “Just before I left today, I got a phone call from my supervisor, with a list of things Landon told one of the teachers.”
“Miss Kate.” My smile was murderous. “She acted funny on the first day when Landon ran over to you.” This afternoon, she’d been super sweet to me, but I saw right through it. I knew she was up to something and I would have bet it was this.
“Apparently, Landon told the class about our sleepovers.” Josh raised an eyebrow. “And that I read him bedtime stories. That was their biggest concern. I guess Miss Kate asked him a lot of questions about that to make sure everything was on the up and up.”
My blood ran cold. At first, I wondered why Landon didn’t tell me, but he wouldn’t even know to think it was strange. He’d probably just been excited to tell Miss Kate about his friend Josh. “So what’s going to happen?”
Josh shook his head. “They’re going to want to talk to you. Other than that, I’m not sure.”
“I’m so sorry.” I wasn’t sure why I was apologizing. Josh went into this with his eyes open. And he was still here, with an overnight bag sitting beside the couch.
“Don’t be.” Josh rubbed his thumb along my hand. “I knew what I was doing. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Then I guess my question should be how does this affect us? Because I can’t see them saying never mind, everything’s cool. Miss Kate,” I couldn’t stop myself from mocking her name, “is leveling some potentially heavy accusations. They’re going to investigate this, Josh. Something’s going to happen.”
“Tell them the truth.” Josh lifted his chin, sitting up straighter, and tightening his grip on my hands. “We don’t have anything to hide. If we start telling lies, then it will make the truth look like something that’s bad.” He leaned close to me, his words a whisper against my neck. “We’ll figure it out.”
I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his lips just below my earlobe, knowing that everything was going to change. Instinctively, I leaned back against the pillow and Josh followed, his hands now on my shoulders. His kisses intensified, more urgent. He felt the same way I did. We needed to figure this out, now. “Aren’t you worried? About your job?” I’d be terrified. I already was and it wasn’t even my job.
“I am.” He kept kissing me, his breath tickling my skin as he spoke. “But there’s no use changing anything. They know, Bree.”
His hands slid down the front of my body then under my shirt. I placed my hands over his. “We can’t do this out here.” I had to pull away from him to make him stop. “Landon comes out all the time.” He hadn’t caught us in action, yet. Even the bedroom wasn’t totally
safe. He’d think nothing of opening the door and coming in.
Josh sighed, coming back from the place he was shielding himself from reality. “I’m scared. But I don’t want to lose you. I need to figure out how to make the two most important things in my life work. Together.”
He followed me to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of my bed while I was still standing. “How’s your class going?”
“Good, so far. I have a quiz on Monday in psych.”
“Not those classes, but I’ll help you study if you want.” A flame flickered in his eyes. “I meant your pole class.”
“Oh!” I laughed. “Good. I can finally lift my hands over my head without wanting to cry.” And to show him, I pulled my shirt off, and dragged it across his lap. He caught it, taking it from me, then looped it behind me so he could pull me toward him.
“I want to see your moves.”
The class was a lot different than I expected. The instructor had us lifting weights and doing sit-ups. But that’s not what Josh wanted to hear. “First of all, you need to have as much skin exposed as possible.” I dropped my shorts and stepped out of them. “Or else you can’t grip the pole properly.”
Josh leaned back, looking around my bedroom. “Can we get one of those poles in here?”
“So my kids can think we brought the park inside?” Placing my fingers under Josh’s chin, I brought his attention back to me. “I thought you wanted to know what we learned.”
Before he had a chance to answer, I sunk down to my knees, scooping the front of my body toward him, then dragging it back up. I rolled back on my heels, wobbly on the way up, and no one was more surprised than me when I didn’t topple over on Josh. Once I was standing again, I put my knee between Josh’s legs, leading him back to the mattress. He had my bra unhooked before his back hit the bedspread.
“I liked that trick.” Josh cupped my breasts in his hands, running his thumbs over my nipples. “I think you’re going to make an excellent student.”
He was still wearing everything, and it was way too much. I pushed his shirt up, working it over his head before we rolled over and I was caged in by Josh’s arms. I had just unbuckled his belt when the door opened.
“Mama.” Landon was totally oblivious to what was going on as we scrambled to cover ourselves. I draped Josh’s shirt over my breasts just before he came over to the bed. “Wucas just threw up.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Forget laboratories. If scientists really wanted to study disease, all they have to do is hang out at a preschool.” Josh joked as I stripped Lucas’ bed. All the boys sat on Landon’s bed, watching me dry heave while I worked. I’d already put Lucas in the shower, which freaked him out because he’d never had anything but a bath. Of course, Landon thought the whole thing was hysterical. “You’d think the teachers started off the day by having all the toddlers lick the sickest kid in the place.”
“You have a pretty well formed theory for someone who’s worked in a preschool for a week.” Thankfully, Bish came out of the incident unscathed. I waved him in the air before putting him on Lucas’ new pillow, which was really one of mine. His was beyond rescue and going in the trash. Lucas dove onto his bed, still looking a little green, and moaned. “Let me get a bucket.”
“I interned before I graduated. Come on, they don’t just let anyone in there.” Josh winced as Lucas got sick again. He mostly hit the bucket. I learned long ago to appreciate the small victories. “Of course, this is just a theory. No scientist is actually sadistic enough to hang out at a preschool.”
“Mama.” Landon’s eyes grew huge and I hadn’t noticed how gray he was until that moment. “I gotta—“
“Okay baby, hang on.” I didn’t even let him finish, I picked up him up and hauled ass to the bathroom. It was impossible to be mad at him when he puked in the bathtub instead of the toilet. My stomach swam at the smell. I sat on the floor with my face scrunched up, not letting any of it in, while Landon cuddled beside me.
“Are you guys all right in here?” Josh knocked on the door and opened it slowly, knowing revolting things could be in progress.
Lucas pushed past him, tears streaming down his face, and landed on me in something that was more a tackle than a hug. “I threw up, Mama.”
“He hit the bucket.” Josh stepped in, showing me the evidence. “We have that to be grateful for.” I pressed everyone’s face to my chest and squeezed everything on my own face closed as he emptied it. Once he was finished, he put the bucket in the bathtub and sunk down next to me.
“Hopefully they’re both empty now. I don’t know how little bodies can hold that much disgusting,” I said as I peeled one eye open to look over at Josh, who had his lips pressed together to suppress his laugh, and that was it. I burst out laughing at the whole thing. Lucas moaned in protest against my chest, pushing my arm to make me stop. Not a chance, buddy.
“What’s funny, Mama?” Landon asked, his voice so weak. We weren’t out of the woods yet.
“You guys. Josh.” I nudged him with my elbow. “Everything.”
“Not funny,” Lucas insisted, pushing my arm again.
The bathroom was crowded with all four of us in it, sitting on the floor, but it seemed like an excellent strategy to stay put. That way, we could keep any further disasters contained to easy cleanup areas. I was sweating, with two hot little bodies attached to me, but somehow, I was happier than I’d been in a long time. I leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes. Josh slipped his hand behind my neck, and started rubbing my shoulders and the back of my head.
I rolled my head toward him. “How do you always know the right thing to do?”
Josh sighed, but didn’t stop kneading that spot between my shoulder blades just below my neck. Heaven. The sparkle in his eyes went away, like it got snuffed out in the breeze. “I just think of the things that I always wanted someone to do for me.”
I leaned over as much as I could to meet Josh’s lips in a kiss. Nothing fancier than a peck, of course, since we had an audience who wasn’t much for happily ever afters. “Yuck.” Landon giggled. “You guys are kissing.”
“Yuck yourself, Pukey McPukerson.” I wrapped my arm around Landon, kissing his hot little forehead repeatedly. He squealed, but Lucas didn’t protest this time, because he’d fallen asleep.
“It’s been about a half an hour.” Josh said quietly. “We might be in the clear.” Landon had fallen asleep on my other side, and my eyes felt like someone had rubbed sand in them. I nodded, but then had no idea how to get out from under two sleeping bodies at this angle without waking them.
Josh kneeled beside me and pulled Lucas off my lap. He rested his head on Josh’s shoulder and in his sleep he snuggled against him. I mimicked his movement, picking Landon up. “Their beds are trashed.” Shit. And the bathtub was full of nuclear waste. “I have to do laundry.”
“Leave it.” Josh rocked Lucas back and forth. “You can’t even keep your eyes open.”
“It will be even more revolting in the morning.” I sighed. “They can lay in my bed until it’s done.”
It was torture to stay awake until it was time to change over the load. Josh cleaned the tub and then set the alarm on his phone. We stayed in the bedroom with the boys sleeping in the bed while we snuggled together on the floor at the foot of the bed. We were trying to behave ourselves but we were having a really hard time. Once one of the boys started snoring, Josh took that as the all-clear to push my T-shirt up, running his fingers over my nipples, kissing one, then the other. It was like when I was a teenager and I used to sneak boys into my room after my mom went to sleep, but she would get up at random times in the middle of the night so the chance of getting caught was always there.
We both dove for the phone when the alarm went off. I pulled my shirt back down, kissing Josh one more time before I went to change over the laundry.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” My downstairs neighbor, Kim, confronted me as I put the sheets in the dryer. “So
me of us have to work in the morning.”
“I’m sorry.” Just seeing her pissed me off. She never missed a chance to bitch about me or the boys. “The boys got sick all over everything. I wouldn’t do this now if I had anything to put on the beds.”
“You can explain it to the office. I’ll be calling them as soon as they open. And you can tell them that guy isn’t living with you, because I don’t believe it.” Just to make sure the rest of the building didn’t sleep through the night either, she slammed her apartment door shut. I leaned against the dryer and counted to ten, because if I retaliated against this bitch, I’d get kicked out of here for sure. And that was the last thing I needed.
I was still steaming when I came back upstairs. “Kim says hi.” I grumbled as I put the fitted sheet on Lucas’ bed. Of course, I didn’t line up the corners right the first time and had to flip the whole thing around. “And she’s going to get my ass tossed out of here in the morning.”
Josh scoffed, I turned around to see him way ahead of me on Landon’s bed, already tucking the top sheet into the foot of the bed. “Not going to happen.”
Now that I had the bottom sheet tucked in, I sat down on the bed, head in hands. “What are we going to do?”
He sat down beside me, rubbing my back. I leaned against him. Josh was as strong as a rock, but eventually, inevitably, he would crumble. “I’d be much more worried about this if we were doing anything wrong.” He must have read my mind. “But we aren’t.”
“I can’t lose this apartment.” I hadn’t had an easy time finding it and there were some rules about how often I could have overnight guests. My heart pounded, because I knew that number was much lower than the amount of times Josh had stayed over since we’d met. “And you can’t lose your job.”
He kissed the top of my head, but didn’t say anything right away. “And I can’t lose you.”
The Trouble with Bree (Spotlight #1.5) Page 7
