Chapter Fifteen
Josh was deep in denial about the situation, thinking that just telling the truth would make everything better. I knew it was a coping mechanism. I’d been to the place he was at, when I couldn’t believe anything else could be taken away from me. It was a dark place, and when I’d been there, I usually fell down through the trap door to someplace worse.
“Do you have a minute?” Miss Kate asked, smiling too sweetly at me when I came to pick up Landon. “They want to see you in the office.”
“Who wants to see me?” I returned her phony smile. I’d been a nervous wreck all morning, knowing this was going to happen. I’d already tangled with the apartment complex, who said the next complaint they got from other residents would result in them contacting the housing authority. I was already skating on thin ice.
She shrugged. “Not sure.” Like hell. God, I wanted to smack her.
Lucas wanted to play at the Lego table in the classroom, so Miss Kate said I could let him stay with his brother while I went for my punishment. How nice of her. I kept my cool as I walked down the hallway to the offices, the same feeling I had when I’d get in trouble in school came flooding back. But this time, unlike a detention, there were real consequences on the line.
A middle aged woman I’d never seen before greeted me in the waiting area. “Ms. Farrell?” I nodded and stood. She held out her hand to me. “I’m Nancy Finnegan. I’m a regional director for Head Start. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?”
“Not at all.” I followed her into the same office I sat in when we came for Landon’s orientation. Josh’s office. She sat in his chair, and I noticed there was no sign of him here. A lump formed in my throat, making it hard to breathe. “Is this about my son, Landon?”
“It is.” She didn’t smile, her pinched mouth made smaller by the wrinkles that ringed it. “Can you tell me how well you know Josh Maxwell?”
Tell the truth, Josh’s voice echoed in my brain, we haven’t done anything wrong. But I noticed she didn’t mention his title. “Very well. We’ve been dating for a couple months.” She hadn’t asked for specifics, but they mattered.
She scribbled something down on a yellow legal pad. “Have you introduced him to your children?”
“Yes.” I paused to think of how I wanted to word the rest of my answer. “I’m a single mother, so my kids are always with me.”
She nodded. “Has Mr. Maxwell ever been alone with them?”
“No. I don’t think so.” Nothing like a good old fashioned interrogation to instill doubt. “Why do you ask?”
“Landon has told some of the teachers here that Mr. Maxwell has slept at your house and has been in Landon’s bed.”
“To read him bedtime stories. I was in the room the whole time.” But still, my heart pounded. Friday night I let him go alone, but that was on Landon’s insistence, and after Miss Kate had reported Josh. I didn’t mention it, because I knew Josh would never do anything like what she was insinuating.
“Ms. Farrell, you do understand that a school administrator should not have such a close relationship with one of his students? There are many reasons for this.”
“Of course I do.” I took a deep breath, because I was pissed, and I didn’t want to make things worse for Josh than they already were. “On paper, it makes perfect sense. But what you need to understand is my boys love Josh. In two months, he’s been more of a father to them than their own fathers have ever been. I can assure you their lives are better with Josh in them. Nothing questionable has happened.”
“I understand that.” This woman never smiled. “But it’s in violation of his contract.”
She might have understood, but she certainly didn’t care. “So what happens now?” I asked.
“Mr. Maxwell has been placed on administrative leave while we finish our investigation.” My heart stopped at the word investigation. “And then we’ll decide what the best course of action is.”
“Can I ask if you’re speaking to anyone else?” My blood ran cold at the possibility. “About a similar situation?”
Ms. Finnegan’s face finally softened. “No. Landon’s the only student that has mentioned a potentially inappropriate relationship with Mr. Maxwell.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I forced a smile. “Because there’s been nothing inappropriate that’s happened in their relationship.”
**
“We’re going to Josh’s house?” Landon asked, his eyes wide. I headed straight there from school, still in a half-daze, half-rage after my talk with Nancy Finnegan.
“Yes.” I didn’t know if we’d catch him there or not. I didn’t call him first, because I wasn’t sure what I’d say to him, even in person. I just had to see him.
His car was in the driveway, and I urged the boys to be quiet as we climbed the stairs. It was the middle of a Monday afternoon, but people could still be around. Quiet wasn’t always our strong suit. Landon wanted to knock on the door, so I let him. “Knock louder than that.” I knocked too, just make sure we were heard. Lucas squeezed between both of us to help.
Josh opened the door, looking down at us with the saddest smile I’d ever seen. I was still crouched down, showing Landon how to knock like he meant it, and I froze when I saw him. Dark smudges had formed under his eyes, he hadn’t shaved, and he just wore a pair of sweatpants. “So you know?” He leaned against the door, mashing his lips together.
“Some lady named Nancy Finnegan called me into her office, your office actually, and questioned me.” I stood up, but Josh still looked down. “They think—“
“I know what they think.” His words were hollow. “You know that I would never hurt your boys, right? Anyone’s kids.”
“That’s exactly what I told her.” I put my hand on his arm, and he flinched. He finally looked up at me, his eyes wild with panic, like he’d gone back to that place where bad things happen. Fallen through the trap door. I stepped closer, putting my arms around him, even though he still hung on to the doorknob like he’d fall if he let go of it. “I told her how good you are to the boys, and that they love you, and you’ve been more of a father to them than their actual dads.”
With that, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his body. He didn’t say anything right away, but his heart pounded against my chest. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
“You have no idea how much you mean to them.” I rubbed his arm as the boys pushed passed us into his apartment, looking for something to play with. Pulling away from him so I could look into his eyes, I remembered something he’d said on Friday night as we sat on the floor of the bathroom.
I just think of the things that I always wanted someone to do for me. Those words had hit like sledgehammer to my heart.
I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly, because it was just what I would need if I were him right now. He pressed me up against his body, then closed the door so we could both rest against it. I raked my fingers through his hair and he moaned, his eyes fluttering. “We’re going to support you, no matter what. But—“
I couldn’t say the rest of the words without choking on the emotion.
“But what, Bree?”
I took a deep breath. “But I understand if you have to make some hard decisions.”
Josh wiped away the tears that ran down my cheeks. “There’s no decision to make.” He sighed, his body still pressed against mine. “God, I never thought they’d accuse me of that.”
“We told the truth.” I ran my fingers down his cheek to turn his face back toward mine. “I’m sure they’re making sure our stories match up. Then they’ll realize that they’re overreacting, and everything will go back to the way it’s supposed to be.”
His tight smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I violated the terms of my contract in the first week of school. They might decide that’s enough of me.”
“They brought you here from New York. They wanted you, Josh. You. They wanted something different and that’s w
hat they got. There are going to be growing pains. It’s a misunderstanding.”
Josh nodded, but I knew he wasn’t convinced. Honestly, neither was I. But we had to think positive.
Landon tugged on my shorts. “Can we go to the park?”
“Sure.” I tousled his hair. “In a few minutes.”
“Can Josh come, too?”
I looked back to Josh, who was looking down at Landon with pure love on his face. My heart broke all over again. He’d given his heart to us, even though he’d known the danger. “If he wants.”
“Of course I want to go.” Finally that smile reached his eyes. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Yay!” Landon ran over and tackled Lucas. “Josh is coming with us to the park,” he announced.
Josh’s gaze was fixed on the boys, who were already wrestling with each other in the middle of the floor. I turned him back to me, surprising him with a kiss.
Chapter Sixteen
Every day that passed without word from Head Start made me more nervous. They’d talked to both of us and Landon, I had no idea what else they needed. Every time I asked Landon if anyone at school had asked him about Josh again, he said no without any hesitation. I didn’t want to push it, because he was too young to understand what was going on, and I didn’t want to make him suspicious of his teachers.
It felt different there, without Josh, when I dropped off Landon for school. More restricted. Less alive. No one said anything to me about the situation, because once they got the information they wanted out of me, it was no longer my concern.
Josh was still getting paid even though he wasn’t working, which we both took as a good sign. But he was acting different, too. I noticed he was more reserved with the boys, keeping his distance when they played on the floor and especially at night. He’d leave us before dinner and come back after bed time.
Otherwise, we’d been inseparable. Josh needed me to believe in him as much as I need him to believe in me.
“I’m not letting you get away tonight.” I kissed him as soon as he came in the apartment. I was sitting on the floor, sorting army guys with the boys, there’d been a mix up with the cowboys and Indians. It was a serious problem.
Josh knelt down beside me and went right to work. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.”
“Yeah right. You keep disappearing in the middle of the afternoon and coming back after dark, like some sort of weird vampire.”
“Pamhire?” That got Lucas’ attention. He was developing an interest in the macabre at an early age, even if he couldn’t say it right, accelerated by all the Halloween stuff that was popping up everywhere.
“Yeah. Maybe I can be like those guys on TV.” Josh pretended to bite my neck and the boys squealed and looked at each other wide-eyed, wondering if he could actually be a pamhire. “Start a band, move to Vegas…”
“Speaking of that, Daisy invited us over for a cookout.” I wriggled free of his grasp, Josh still pretended to be a vampire, sticking his top teeth out and laughing like the world’s goofiest Count Dracula. “Cam’s leaving for Nashville to record his album, and she wanted us to all get together tonight.” It was nice to have someone to geek out over Cam with, since Josh was a fan, too.
Josh’s eyes lit up. “Nice.” He and Cam had hit it off at the party, and he knew I had barely seen Daisy since she brought the baby home. “Good thing we have something to celebrate.”
Now it was my turn to light up. “We do?”
“We do?” Landon repeated. Because he was my son, I knew he equated celebrating with cake. Now I wanted cake.
“Yes.” Josh’s smile was too big for his face. “I heard from Nancy today at Head Start. The one you talked to. They finished their investigation. They didn’t find that I’d done anything inappropriate, but they still feel I shouldn’t have a relationship with a parent of one of the students.”
My heart sank. “I thought this was good news.”
“It is. Let me finish.” He leaned in to kiss me, but then pretended to bite my neck, sending the boys into another fit of giggles. “I was offered a transfer to the Brockton school.”
“Oh my God, that’s awesome!” I threw my arms around Josh, hugging him tightly. The school would have been crazy to let Josh go. But still, the verdict was a relief. “You know that’s not a great area.”
“That’s okay. There will be lots of kids there that can use some help.” Josh shrugged, and I kissed him because if everyone had his attitude, the world would be a better place.
“And it’s about forty minutes away from here.” I felt bad, Josh had settled himself close to work and now his whole life changed because of me. I wanted it to be for the better, not worse.
“I don’t mind. It takes much longer than that to get anywhere in New York. If I can’t handle it, maybe I’ll start looking for a nice three bedroom place a little closer.” He kissed my forehead.
I was confused. “Why would you need a three bedroom apartment?”
“Do you need your own room?” Josh raised an eyebrow, pulling away from me slightly. “I had visions of us sharing. All right, I’ll be honest, I had visions of the pole in the bedroom.”
Turning bright red, I shushed him and jerked my head toward the boys. But I was so blown away by the big picture of what he was suggesting. “You know if I do that, I’ll lose my benefits.” Translation: I’d have a really hard time paying my share. Especially since my share was seventy-five percent of the total.
“We’ll figure it out, Bree. It’s not something we’re going to do tomorrow, but when I look into the future, I like it when I see you guys in it.” This time, he kissed me for real, and I didn’t care if the kids oohed and ahhed. They needed to see this. A man who knew how to treat a woman with love and respect, and most importantly, their mama deliriously happy.
**
“Give me that baby.” I said to Daisy as soon as we got to their condo. I handed Cam the cake I’d brought with us, then stood with my hands out, like one of the kids when they wanted something.
Daisy eased JR into my arms as the boys ran into her legs, hugging her. “Careful. His head’s still soft.”
“Oh, come on.” I’d forgotten what it really felt like to hold a newborn, so tiny and delicate compared to my monsters. “I’ve raised two kids and I don’t think I’ve given either of them brain damage.”
I turned around to see Lucas dive head first into JR’s rolly chair, as Landon started to race across the living room with it. “I take it back.” I sighed, but I kept the baby against my chest. He cooed and made all those baby noises, and balled his little fist in my hair. Love.
Cam and Josh had already disappeared onto the deck, so we followed suit. It was one of those unseasonably warm late September nights, the sun had started to set over White Horse Beach. The sky had exploded in streaks of dark pink and bright orange. It was truly breathtaking.
“Anyone want to play catch on the beach before we eat?” Cam had picked up a Nerf football, hitting it against his other hand. The boys jumped up and down around him, then headed down to the beach for a game of two hand touch football.
“Josh got his job back.” I told Daisy as soon as he was out of earshot. I’d been keeping her updated on the situation.
“I knew it.” She’d been right all along that we had nothing to worry about. It didn’t feel that way in the middle of it.
“He’ll be in Brockton, which I warned him could suck, but he started talking about moving in together, some place closer.” I beamed, news like that was way too good to keep to myself.
“Really?” Daisy seemed surprised. “Not that I’m questioning it, but it would be a big change for you.”
“Well, not right now, but sometime in the future. We have something to work toward.”
Daisy leaned over the railing, her blonde hair fanning around her in the breeze. I stayed a step behind her, knowing she’d freak out if I had JR too close to the edge. “This is awesome, isn’t it?”
&nbs
p; “It is.” I stopped to kiss JR on the head. “You always wanted to live in one of these condos.”
“That’s not what I mean.” She didn’t look back at me, instead she watched my boys jump all over Cam, trying to get the football away from him. “I mean…look at us. We’ve both been through hell. It’s good to be happy again.”
“We always said this is what we wanted,” I said as I handed JR back to Daisy, he’d started to fuss and wanted her. “I can’t believe that we actually got it.”
Epilogue—One Year Later
We were just about moved in. Landon pushed Lucas across the floor in an empty box. “Watch out, you guys,” I cautioned over my shoulder as I stood on a stepstool, hanging curtains. The box mobile came dangerously close to my stool, and I saw my life flash before my eyes. “I’m not sure how to get to the hospital yet from this place.”
When the door opened, I almost fell off the stool for the second time. “Josh!” The boys cried out, leaving me wobbling on the stool. Giving up on the curtains, I climbed down to join in on the hugging and kissing.
“It looks great in here.” Josh surveyed my progress. It was finally starting to look like home, a mix of both of our stuff, and of course two giant plastic tubs full of toys. Right now, the boys were more into the empty boxes, so the toys were all where they belonged. “You’ve been working your tail off.” And to make sure I understand what he meant, he slapped my ass, sending the boys into a fit of giggles.
“I can’t believe I have to go to work tonight.” Moving in with Josh meant I was finally off welfare. It was scary, because I was still such a work in progress I couldn’t just snap my fingers and get an awesome job. There were plenty of mommies with incomplete college degrees looking for part time work. Landon had started kindergarten, which freed up a ton of time for my classes, but I still had Lucas with me during the day until he started preschool next year. So for now, I was working a couple nights a week at a coffee shop. “I want to just hang out with you.”
“You’ll only be gone a few hours.” Josh headed upstairs to the bedroom, loosening his tie. I followed him, watching him unbutton his shirt and step out of his dress pants. The only thing sexier than him wearing those clothes was him taking them off. I held on to the pole that he insisted on installing the first night we moved in, swinging slightly forward. I’d told the boys it was a support beam for the room. “And then we can play with that.” He motioned to the pole.
The Trouble with Bree (Spotlight #1.5) Page 8
