by E. L. Todd
“Just don’t do it again,” she snapped.
He flinched. “I’m...sorry.”
Nancy looked at them then averted her gaze, uncomfortable by the direction of the conversation.
She sighed. “I’m sorry, Henry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Just ignore me.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s fine. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “I’ll be right back. I need to get some napkins.” He left the table and walked to the other side of the room.
“What was that?” Nancy asked.
“I just don’t want him to buy my food.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”
She leaned forward, her eyes bright. “You know?”
She nodded.
“When did you figure it out?”
“Have you known this whole time?” she asked angrily.
“Are you kidding me? Everyone knows!”
“Well, I didn’t.”
“Because you’re blind.”
“How long?”
“Since the day he met you, Syd.”
Sydney covered her face with her hands. “Damn.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ll talk to him today.”
“And say what?”
“That it’s not going to happen.”
“It’s not?” she asked sadly.
“No.”
Nancy looked at her uneaten pizza for a moment then returned her gaze to Sydney. “Why not?”
“I...I just don’t feel that way about him.”
“Why? He’s really cute.”
“Of course he is. But I just see him as a friend.”
“Well, if you gave him a chance, you might feel differently.”
She immediately thought of her feelings for Coen. She would never feel the same way about Henry. “No.”
Nancy sighed. “It’s going to break his heart.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to say?”
“The truth.”
“Be easy, okay?”
“Of course. I love him.”
“I would hate to be him today.”
Coen dropped into the seat across from Nancy, startling both women. “Hey there.” He placed a book on the table along with a sandwich.
Sydney wasn’t sure what to do. “Uh, hi.”
“Cool if I sit with you guys?” he asked as he unwrapped his sandwich.
“Sure,” Sydney said hesitantly.
Coen bit into his sandwich and chewed while he turned the pages of his textbook. His blue eyes were startling, like always. The muscles in his forearms flexed as he held his sandwich. His shirt clung tightly to his shoulders.
“Why are you sitting with us?” Nancy asked.
Coen answered her without meeting her gaze. “Sydney and I are friends.” He looked at Sydney. “Right?”
“Yeah. We’re friends,” she said awkwardly.
He looked back at Nancy. “How did you do on Jones’s exam?” He acted like she wasn’t incredibly rude just a second ago.
She shrugged. “I got a C.”
“At least you passed.”
“Did you just zone out?”
“I just couldn’t concentrate at the time. Sydney has been helping with that.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Nancy wasn’t used to his vague sentences but Sydney was. She wanted to know why he was spending time with her and her friends but she couldn’t ask him right then. It would have to wait.
Henry returned to the table and stared at Coen for a moment before he sat across from Sydney.
Coen nodded to him. “Hey, man.”
Henry nodded but didn’t say anything. Sydney knew he didn’t like Coen but she wasn’t sure why. Coen had always been nice to both of her friends.
“How did you do on the test?” Coen asked, looking at Henry.
He ate his pizza without looking at him. “I passed.”
“Cool,” he said. “I didn’t.”
“I assumed.”
The table fell silent.
Coen looked at Sydney and held her gaze for a moment. She wished her two friends weren’t there, or better yet, they knew what Coen meant to her. She didn’t like keeping him a secret and she knew he was equally frustrated. He was just an outsider to them.
“So, why are you here?” Henry asked.
“Sydney is my friend. I thought we could hang out.”
“She has plenty of friends,” he said quietly.
Sydney’s eyes widened. Now that she knew Henry was in love with her, she noticed his obvious jealousy and possessiveness of her. How was she so stupid before? “I invited him,” she said quickly.
Coen smiled at her, pleased by her defense of him. She knew how annoyed he was by the secrecy so she had to defend him in some way.
Henry raised an eyebrow. “I apologize. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay,” she said quietly.
Coen read his textbook while he ate his lunch slowly. He was very particular in his movement, not spilling any crumbs or making a mess in any way. His mouth was clean when he was finished. He didn’t even need a napkin. Sydney wished she could kiss those lips, taste the mustard from his mouth. He glanced up at her and smiled, noticing her look, then returned his attention to the table.
Henry noticed her stare but didn’t comment.
“So, are you going to Liz’s party this weekend?” Nancy asked.
“That depends,” Coen said. “Are you guys going?” His gaze was directed at Sydney.
“Yeah,” Nancy said. “She really wants us to be there.”
Sydney nodded. “We’ll probably just make an appearance.”
“Well, I might stop by then,” he said.
Nancy nodded. “Cool.”
Sydney glanced at Nancy, noticing her direct stare. She better not be checking out her boyfriend. That would just make her mad. But Sydney knew she had no right to be upset at her friend. It wasn’t Nancy’s fault that she was ignorant to Coen’s commitment to Sydney.
“So where’s your girlfriend?” Nancy asked.
“Audrey isn’t my girlfriend,” he said calmly. His jaw was tense, and Sydney knew he was trying to hold his anger back. He hated talking about her. She also noticed how he never said he didn’t have a girlfriend, just that she wasn’t Audrey.
“Well, I saw you with her this weekend,” Nancy said.
“No. You saw me running from her,” Coen said. “You misinterpreted the situation entirely.”
“So you just broke up?”
“No. We’ve been broken up for four months.”
“Four months?” she asked incredulously. “That can’t be right.”
“We officially broke up two months ago, but the relationship was dead before that final break. She has separation issues.”
“So what happened? You cheat on her?”
He glared at Nancy. Sydney knew he wanted to snap. She wondered if he would hold his tongue. Coen took a deep breath. “No. That isn’t my style. She and I just couldn’t work it out.”
“But I know you slept with Tawny a few months ago.”
“When I was single, free to do whatever I wanted,” he said.
“So you sleep around?”
“This conversation has gone on long enough. No further questions, please.”
Sydney was shocked that he put up with it at all. It was obvious how uncomfortable he was.
Nancy leaned forward. “So, are you looking for someone new?”
Sydney didn’t like the direction of the conversation.
“No,” Coen said. “I’m not looking for a girlfriend.”
“So you just want to have fun?”
“No. I’m happy with my life the way it is.”
“So—”
“Nancy,” Sydney said. “Please stop interrogating my friend.”
“I’m not interrogating him,�
� she snapped.
“Yeah, you are,” Henry said. “Back off.”
Nancy sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.
Sydney knew she came off a little strong sometimes, asking information that was none of her business. She didn’t mean to be rude and had good intentions. But it didn’t always come out that way.
Sydney looked at Coen. “I apologize. She meant well.”
He smiled and she felt her heart pound in her chest. “It’s fine.”
Nancy looked away.
Coen leaned toward her. “So, how’s your day been?”
She smiled, her stomach rising to her mouth and her legs becoming weak. “It was good. How was yours?”
“It was alright.”
She picked up her fork and picked at her mixed fruit.
He grabbed a grape and tossed it into his mouth. “Yum.”
She stared at his lips, wanting to taste the sugar on his tongue. When she felt her cheeks turn red, she changed her thoughts and looked away.
Coen stared at her, obviously noticing the change of color in her face. He didn’t comment on it. “Well, I need to get to class.” He put his book in his bag and stood up. “I’ll see you later,” he said to Sydney.
She didn’t want him to go. “Okay.”
He nodded to her friends. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Henry nodded and Nancy waved.
Sydney watched him walk out of the cafeteria. His absence left a hole in her heart. She hated hiding him from her friends. She wanted everyone to know that he was hers. But when she thought of Henry, she knew she couldn’t do that. That would be too much information at one time. His brain might explode.
“You guys getting close?” Henry asked.
Sydney adjusted herself in her seat. “We’ve become good friends.”
“What’s his tattoo mean?” Nancy asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve never asked.”
“Tattoos are lame,” Henry said.
“I like them,” Sydney blurted.
“Oh. I guess they are cool,” he said.
She realized if she told him murdering people was cool, he would probably agree with her. He would agree with anything she said. Their talk that afternoon was going to really suck. “I need to get to lab,” she said as she shouldered her backpack.
Henry grabbed his stuff. “Me too.”
“See ya,” she said to Nancy.
“Bye,” Nancy said to them both.
She and Henry walked back to the science building together. The humidity drenched her skin and made her hair shine. She never grew tired of the tropical climate. Even winters in California were too cold for her.
His shoulder touched hers when they walked. She stepped away so they wouldn’t be so close. Since they had every class together, she knew the rest of the week would be awkward after she told him how she felt. She wished she wasn’t so ignorant and didn’t let it get this bad. She could have stopped it a long time ago.
They both went to lab and spent the next three hours finishing their experiments. She didn’t mind having him as a partner because he always gave his best effort, but he usually messed something up or used the equipment incorrectly. Science wasn’t his forte. She wasn’t sure why he majored in it. He wasn’t stupid, far from it, but he was better suited to English, Psychology, and Sociology. His mind worked differently than hers. But if zoology was what he wanted to do, she wouldn’t tell him not to.
When the class was over, they left the building and walked outside.
“So, what time do you want me to come over?” he asked with a smile.
She knew he thought this was going to be a good night. That assumption couldn’t be more wrong. “Seven?”
“I’ll be there. Do you need company on your way to the library?”
“No, I’m good. I’ll see you later, Henry.”
“Okay.” He turned around and walked to the parking lot in front of the building.
She sighed then headed toward the library. Her excitement at seeing Coen was ruined by the stress and guilt she felt in the pit of her stomach. What was she going to say to Henry? It seemed like she was going to lose her friend either way.
Her feet carried her through the library until she reached the study room they always worked in. The window to the room was covered with a curtain. She opened the door and looked for Coen. He was sitting in his usual spot.
He stood up. “Hey.”
She shut the door behind her. “Hi.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her gently on the mouth, making her melt immediately. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.”
She smiled at him, frozen to the spot. He made her feel tingly and wild.
He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the chair, pulling her in his lap. He rubbed his nose against hers. “You ready to study?”
“It doesn’t seem like we are going to be doing much of it.”
“Oh, we will.”
“Really?” she said with a smile. She couldn’t stop grinning. She was starting to feel like a hanger was lodged in her mouth.
“Today we’ll be studying the anatomy of the mouth.” He cupped her cheek then placed this thumb on her bottom lip. “Particularly the lip and the tongue.”
“I must have missed that lecture.”
“Well, I’ll catch you up.” He leaned in and kissed her gently.
A moan immediately escaped her lips, out of her control. She felt his tongue slip inside her mouth and caress her gently. When his hand ran up her back then through her hair, she felt her logical thought slip away. Her hands rubbed his chest, feeling the muscles underneath. His hot breaths filled her mouth and burned her lungs.
All she felt in that moment was Coen. All other thoughts ceased. Only his lips and body mattered. She wasn’t thinking about Henry, school, work, or her friends. It was just Coen. When she kissed Aaron, she enjoyed it, but it wasn’t anything like this. She felt connected to him, physically and spiritually. With every passing kiss, she felt herself fall for him. The depth was so deep that she would never be able to crawl out. He crippled her entire body, making her hungry for him alone.
The time passed in a flash. Neither one of them broke their kiss to speak or do anything else. Their textbooks remained zipped in their backpacks, forgotten. Sydney ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the slight curl at the end, and breathed into his mouth, losing her control. He pulled her closer to him and continued to devour her mouth, unable to satisfy his need for her. When his watch beeped, she knew the session was over.
Reluctantly, he pulled away. “Time for work,” he whispered through his heavy breathing.
She placed her forehead against his. “Damn.”
He kissed her gently on the lips once more. “My lips are dry.”
“If we keep this up, we’re going to need some serious ChapStick.”
“Or Vaseline.”
She smiled. “I know you like Vaseline.”
“I went through a jar last night from thinking of you.”
She felt the area between her legs burn. “That’s so hot.”
“I’m glad you don’t think it’s gross.”
She licked her lips. “Definitely not.”
“Do you think about me?”
“Yes, but I haven’t done anything.”
“That’s right. I’ll have to show you.”
“Good.”
He pressed his forehead against hers then ran his fingers through his hair. “We should go.”
“Yeah.”
“Could you get off me and give me a second?”
“Massive hard-on?”
“I’m about to explode,” he said with a laugh.
She got up and grabbed her bag from the ground. He looked at his phone for a moment before he rose from his chair and walked out the door. As they walked through the lobby, he grabbed her hand.
She pulled away. “We can’t do that.”
“Why? We aren’t going to see anyone w
e know.”
“That doesn’t mean someone we know won’t see us.”
“Fine,” he snapped.
“Please don’t be angry.”
“I won’t put up with this for long,” he warned. “If I’m your boyfriend, I want everyone to know it.”
“Soon, okay?”
“Better be.”
They left the library then approached the parking lot.
“Let’s carpool,” he said.
“Okay.”
He opened the passenger door and helped her get inside. When she buckled her safety belt, he kissed her then shut the door. She watched him walk around the car, looking at his straight back and swinging arms. When he got inside, he released her safety belt and pulled her to the middle seat.
“This is the girlfriend seat,” he said.
She smiled. “I forgot.”
“Don’t forget again. That’s where you belong.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder then backed out of the parking lot. She leaned into him and placed her hand on his thigh.
“I’m sorry Nancy was so rude,” she said.
He smiled. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.”
“People ask you about Audrey?”
“Girls usually do. I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but I think Nancy has a thing for me.”
“I thought the same thing.”
He sighed. “I really wish I could tell her who my girlfriend is.”
“I know.”
“Are you pissed at her?”
“It’s not her fault.”
“You didn’t even tell her you were attracted to me?”
“I did.”
“So aren’t I yours, then?”
“Well, I also said I wouldn’t date you because you weren’t boyfriend material.”
“She’s going to be in for a surprise.”
“Yeah.”
“Good luck with that,” he said. “And I am boyfriend material.”
“I hope so.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll prove it.”
“Okay.”
They arrived at the gym then got out.
“Isn’t this against the rules or something?” she asked.
“What?”
“Being involved with your client?”
“No. And it wouldn’t matter anyway.”
She smiled. “Good to know.” She grabbed her bag then walked inside with him. “I’ll be there in a second,” she said as she entered the changing room. After she pulled her hair into a ponytail and slipped on her workout clothes, she stared at herself in the mirror. She had a flat stomach that was tone and firm, but she felt like her body wasn’t as strong or powerful as the rest of the women at the gym. She was still an amateur. She left the locker room then entered the studio.
